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Family members who ignore your personal boundaries, try to control your actions, and constantly demean you can make your life a living hell. But very few people actually consider that their loved ones might kidnap them.
One desperate woman turned to the internet for advice after she flew from Australia to India to visit her relatives, only for the entire situation to rapidly go downhill. She revealed how her parents refused to let her leave, forcing her to miss her flight.
Scroll down for the full story, including a very important follow-up post. Meanwhile, Bored Panda has reached out to the author for comment, and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from her.
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Anyone would be terrified if they realized that their relatives refused to let them go back home
Worried woman holding her head, appearing stressed and trapped, illustrating being held hostage at parents’ place.
The woman answered people’s questions and shared more context in the comments of her first post
Reddit user advises on escaping situation related to being held hostage at parents’ place, emphasizing safety and quick action.
Text advice on escaping a hostage situation at parents’ place, focusing on safety and planning an exit discreetly.
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Text from an online discussion about being held hostage at parents’ place, addressing coercion and unlawful restraint advice.
Reddit conversation about being held hostage at parents' place, sharing advice on legal rights and escape options.
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Reddit advice thread discussing being held hostage at parents’ place with tips on staying calm and planning an escape.
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Text conversation discussing being held hostage at parents’ place, concerns about passport and family conflict.
Two Reddit users discuss feelings of being trapped and isolated at a parent's place, reflecting on control and understanding.
Reddit conversation about being held hostage at parents’ place and discussing using eSIM for communication.
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Online forum conversation where a user discusses feeling held hostage at their parents’ place and fear of leaving.
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Alt text: Advice on being held hostage at parents’ place with tips for contacting embassy and planning to leave safely.
Online conversation discussing being held hostage at parents’ place and exploring possible escape options and challenges.
Reddit conversation about being held hostage at parents’ place and seeking advice on involving police or escaping safely.
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Reddit user describes being held hostage at parents’ place, feeling isolated and unsure how to get help in India.
Here’s some of the advice that people gave the distraught woman
Comment advice discussing how to escape being held hostage at parents' place by secretly leaving during the night.
Reddit conversation showing a user seeking advice about being held hostage at their parents’ place.
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Comment warning about being trapped and held hostage at parents' place, urging to seek freedom and escape the situation.
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Comment text expressing empathy and encouragement to someone feeling held hostage at their parents' place, advising to see them as a temporary obstacle.
Reddit advice on how to escape being held hostage at parents’ place, including tips on traveling and staying safe.
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Text advice on being held hostage at parents’ place, suggesting keeping documents safe and waiting for a chance to escape.
Comment advising quick escape advice for those being held hostage at their parents’ place with phone and passport.
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Text message on screen advising to call the women's helpline in India 181 for help with being held hostage.
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Text post discussing control and unlawful confinement in a parents’ place, offering advice on safety and escape options.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment advising someone held hostage at their parents’ place to secure their passport and escape safely.
Comment discussing reaching out to family violence legal services for help with being held hostage at parents’ place.
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Comment suggesting Australians contact the embassy for help in a discussion about being held hostage at parents’ place.
Comment suggesting hiring security for help escaping while being held hostage at parents’ place for safety and protection.
Screenshot of a forum comment expressing shock about being held hostage at parents’ place and not knowing what to do.
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Comment discussing control and manipulation in a hostage situation at parents’ place and advice on how to escape.
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Reddit comment offering advice on being held hostage at parents’ place, suggesting ways to escape and seek help.
Screenshot of an online discussion about being held hostage at parents’ place with users debating the situation and advice.
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Commenter CherCee advising on being held hostage at parents' place, suggesting no contact with family and living your life.
Text post with advice on being held hostage at parents' place, emphasizing safety and escape planning without police involvement.
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Comment response advising on being held hostage at parents' place, emphasizing personal choice and seeking help if needed.
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Worried young woman with long dark hair, looking anxious and uncertain about being held hostage at parents’ place.
Hostage or kidnap survivors can find themselves constantly on edge, feeling scared, depressed, and guilty, among many other reactions
According to the American Psychological Association (APA), hostage and kidnap survivors can experience various stress reactions, such as:
Denial
Shock
Numbness
Anxiety
Guilt
Impaired Memory
Depression
Anger
A sense of helplessness
What’s more, survivors can experience intrusive thoughts, decreased concentration, confusion, being overcautious, and scared that what happened to them before might happen again in the future.
On top of that, these survivors might find themselves constantly on edge and withdrawing from their social relationships and various activities.
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To be clear, these reactions are perfectly normal and understandable. That being said, reactions can vary from person to person.
“Freedom almost always brings a sense of elation and relief. However, adjusting back to the real world after being held hostage can be just as difficult as abruptly leaving it. Upon release, many hostage survivors are faced with transitioning from conditions of isolation and helplessness to sensory overload and freedom. This transition often results in significant adjustment difficulties,” the APA explains.
Your social circle’s support can be invaluable after you regain your freedom
Three women sitting closely, holding hands, offering emotional support in a tense family hostage situation.
After hostages are released, it is vital that they receive medical attention, stay in a safe and secure environment, connect with their loved ones, and have the opportunity to talk about or journal their experiences (if they so choose).
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What’s more, it’s important to protect survivors’ privacy and give them time to adjust to their old routine. Meanwhile, the trusted members of their social network can support them by listening to them, being patient, and focusing on their freedom instead of negatively talking about their captors.
“Released hostages need time to recover from the physical, mental, and emotional difficulties they faced. However, it is important to keep in mind that human beings are highly resilient and can persevere in spite of tragedy. Research shows that positive growth and resilience can occur following trauma,” the APA says.
In the case of persistent symptoms, disturbed sleep, and chronic stress, survivors may want to think about reaching out to mental health professionals for help. Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness. These professionals can give you healthy coping strategies, start the healing process, and reframe your experiences in a way that empowers you.
This is a very sensitive topic, but if you’d like to share your thoughts, you can do so in the comments below. Have you ever been in a toxic situation like this? What would you do if you suddenly realized that your relatives wouldn’t let you go back home? Let us know.
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In a very important update, the author shared how she finally made her escape. Here’s what happened next
Update message expressing gratitude for support while being held hostage at parents' place, unsure of what to do next.
Text excerpt describing someone running away from home, reflecting on feeling held hostage at parents’ place and uncertainty about what to do next.
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Text excerpt about planning a getaway with friends, reflecting feelings of being held hostage at parents’ place.
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Text about feeling held hostage at parents’ place, expressing sound mind and personal decision despite being surrounded by relatives.
Text excerpt about someone feeling held hostage at their parents' place, describing sneaking out at night to escape.
Person describing being held hostage at parents' place and seeking advice on how to sneak out safely and discreetly.
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Person inside a dark car at night, appearing distressed and held hostage at their parents’ place, unsure of what to do.
Here’s how folks reacted after reading the follow-up post
Text from an online discussion warning about the danger of being held hostage at parents' place and advising caution and trust in actions.
Comment text discussing feelings of relief after escaping being held hostage at parents’ place and advice on cutting contact with family.
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Text from a forum post discussing being held hostage at parents’ place and planning an escape from family control.
Screenshot of online advice discussing being held hostage at parents’ place, urging to block and move on for mental well-being.
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Comment discussing feelings of being held hostage at parents' place, reflecting on respect and family boundaries in a forum post.
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Comment from user BinaryPirate about a woman being held hostage at her parents’ place and her future life.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment warning about danger and control in a hostage situation at parents’ place and advice on finding safety.
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Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real.
At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design.
In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle.
I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.
Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real.
At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design.
In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle.
I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.
I'm a senior visual editor here at Bored Panda and I enjoy a good laugh. My work ranges from serious topics related to toxic work environments and relationship difficulties to humorous articles about online shopping fails and introvert memes. When I'm not at my work desk, checking if every single pixel is in the right place, I usually spend my free time playing board games, taking pictures, and watching documentaries
I'm a senior visual editor here at Bored Panda and I enjoy a good laugh. My work ranges from serious topics related to toxic work environments and relationship difficulties to humorous articles about online shopping fails and introvert memes. When I'm not at my work desk, checking if every single pixel is in the right place, I usually spend my free time playing board games, taking pictures, and watching documentaries
What an absolute nightmare. The people suggesting calling the police really don't understand India at all. They're going to side with the parents. I'm glad she made it out, it sounds like a nasty ordeal.
I really hope she stays safe though. Families like that don't generally take kindly to not getting their way and can take permanent action against women who don't fall in line ne.
Glad you made it out. For clarification, though, you did not run away from home, you are an adult, you simply left, more to the point you escaped. Don't let your own thinking turn against you, you did nothing wrong, you are the victim here.
Why in the hell would you consider going back/not staying NC with your family? That's a number #1 way to ensure you'll get taken back there against your will... at best. Aussie law is pretty decent, but (and I don't mean to be a scaremonger, either) we have had women from overseas murdered by family members who have found out their location in Australia for much less. Grieve what you have lost but accept that you are not safe as long as your family knows where you are.
In India unfortunately a*****e parenting is the norm so here it’s kind of weird to hear about people going NC even if that’s the most rational thing to do
Cultural brainwashing is srs bsns :( You know some of my own past with my own family just from my comments on here, and yet I still put up with a lot of their BS because it's... just habit. I know how insane that sounds. But four decades of obeying/doing what my mother wants is... strong. Even as an adult, it's sometimes hard to escape those lifelong "habits" and patterns. I completely agree with you, but am giving my perspective (which is only tangentially similar, as I'm not held hostage except financially.) It is much easier to passively accept abúse if you have been used to accepting it for decades, even when you KNOW it's wrong and you KNOW it's hurting you and you KNOW you need to get out. That is ALSO why I was with my ex for 24 years before I finally escaped... it was... easier to not struggle and just "take it".
What an absolute nightmare. The people suggesting calling the police really don't understand India at all. They're going to side with the parents. I'm glad she made it out, it sounds like a nasty ordeal.
I really hope she stays safe though. Families like that don't generally take kindly to not getting their way and can take permanent action against women who don't fall in line ne.
Glad you made it out. For clarification, though, you did not run away from home, you are an adult, you simply left, more to the point you escaped. Don't let your own thinking turn against you, you did nothing wrong, you are the victim here.
Why in the hell would you consider going back/not staying NC with your family? That's a number #1 way to ensure you'll get taken back there against your will... at best. Aussie law is pretty decent, but (and I don't mean to be a scaremonger, either) we have had women from overseas murdered by family members who have found out their location in Australia for much less. Grieve what you have lost but accept that you are not safe as long as your family knows where you are.
In India unfortunately a*****e parenting is the norm so here it’s kind of weird to hear about people going NC even if that’s the most rational thing to do
Cultural brainwashing is srs bsns :( You know some of my own past with my own family just from my comments on here, and yet I still put up with a lot of their BS because it's... just habit. I know how insane that sounds. But four decades of obeying/doing what my mother wants is... strong. Even as an adult, it's sometimes hard to escape those lifelong "habits" and patterns. I completely agree with you, but am giving my perspective (which is only tangentially similar, as I'm not held hostage except financially.) It is much easier to passively accept abúse if you have been used to accepting it for decades, even when you KNOW it's wrong and you KNOW it's hurting you and you KNOW you need to get out. That is ALSO why I was with my ex for 24 years before I finally escaped... it was... easier to not struggle and just "take it".
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