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14
Man Gets Locked Out From Woman’s Bathroom And Gets Upset Despite Not Even Living There
Sometimes, we don’t realize how nice it is to have basic amenities. A fancy rain showerhead or a toilet with a heated seat can really add to the bathroom experience. This boyfriend liked comfort in the bathroom too, as he often chose to use his GF’s roommate’s fancy shower.
The problem was that he never asked for permission. When the roommate’s luxurious soap and shampoo started magically evaporating, she asked him to stop. The household feud that broke out proved how some roommates fail to respect their housemates’ privacy, things, and boundaries.
RELATED:
A woman got in a fight with her roommate’s BF when she asked him to stop using her shower
Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)
Instead of showering at home or in his GF’s bathroom, he kept disrespecting the roommate’s privacy and even used her towels
Image source: Cool-Change7987
Image credits: Natalia Blauth (not the actual photo)
After she confronted him, the couple accused the roommate of “Ruining the dynamic”
Image source: Cool-Change7987
If a roommate’s significant other stays over often, they might need to start pitching in for utilities
Image credits: Jason Abdilla (not the actual photo)
A bathroom is a sticky issue even when it’s your roommate and not their SO who’s using it. In fact, sharing a bathroom can cause many conflicts between roommates.
The biggest points of contention, according to a survey by Go.HomeCompare Insurance is leaving the toilet seat up (70.4%), leaving wet towels around (54%), and not removing hair from plug holes (51%).
But a bigger pet peeve for some roommates might be the significant others staying over like it’s their own home. A survey by Apartment Advisor found that people have split opinions when it comes to whether significant others who spend the night often should pitch in for things like groceries and utilities.
36.2% of the respondents would like SOs to pay their share of everyday expenses, while 33% said they don’t expect that. Interestingly, 30.7% of those who participated in the survey had a neutral opinion.
A roommate’s significant other might start feeling like a third roommate
Image credits: Nina Zeynep Güler (not the actual photo)
How do you know what’s the appropriate amount of times to spend the night at your GF’s or BF’s place if they have a roommate? Unfortunately, there’s no correct answer here. It all depends on the relationship dynamic between the three and whether the roommate is okay with the BF or GF staying over.
Margo Regan, Auckland-based relationship, addiction and sex therapist, explains that some people might be okay with a roommate’s significant other spending the night five days a week. For others, the limit might be two or three.
However ‘cool’ the roommate may be with such an arrangement, “Let’s face it,” Regan says, “Nobody enjoys that awkward ‘three’s a crowd’ feeling in their own home.”
“Some may feel that the extra person is not doing their fair share of cleaning or contributing to bills and that the home environment is being disrupted with reduced privacy from uninvited guests and the playing of loud music,” the relationship therapist explained.
She recommends open communication between the roommates and says that giving honest feedback and not taking things personally is important. “Accept complaints gracefully, and avoid situations where resentments build up to boiling point.”
The couple could get in trouble if the roommate complains to the landlord
Image credits: Andrej Lišakov (not the actual photo)
Some commenters pointed out that the woman should take the issue up with the landlord. In most cases, there should be legal precedent to her complaint. As Jo Natoli from The Rental Specialists told The New York Post, the BF practically being the third roommate would be a breach of the lease.
“If a lease is signed between owner and tenant and the lease stipulates that only two adults can reside at the property, if the subtenant has a partner who stays at the property frequently they could be deemed a resident, which could put the leaseholder in breach of their lease as there would be now three residents and not two,” Natoli said.
If the three would work it out and decide that they’re now all living there, the landlord also wouldn’t have the right to raise the rent. According to Natoli, “rents are not determined by the number of occupants in a property.”
People advised the woman to either put locks on the bathroom door or notify the landlord
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What do you think ?
Veronica Jean 7 months ago
At this point it has nothing to do with the shower and everything to do with the fact that you asked for a very reasonable boundary and they are being manipulative. Normal people respect other people's boundaries.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 7 months ago
Slight disagree that it has nothing to do with the shower - insofar as the fact that Jake could infect OP with a bunch of different things if he happens to be infected with them himself. He could infect her with athlete's foot, warts, HPV, and even MRSA, just to name a few - because he's standing barefoot in her shower/bathroom, which she then presumably also uses barefoot. This is why places with shared showers (gyms, YMCA, hostels, etc.) will recommend wearing waterproof footwear in the shower.
Load More Replies...
Tyke 7 months ago
OP should ask the roommate why her boyfriend feels more comfortable in OP's shower as that is just weird, and point out he's stealing and he's being utterly disgusting using her towel. Just ask them both straight and see what that response is. If he felt more comfortable in OP's bed is she meant to just squidge over and make space?
marcelo D. 7 months ago
he feels confortable there cause he uses other people stuff that he doesn't pay for, and the girlfriend doesn't want him using her stuff, but she is an AH and doesn't care if her boyfriend uses OP stuff.
Load More Replies... marcelo D. 7 months ago
whats the AITA for? Her problem is literally solved. "he refuses to come unless I relax", ok, don't relax, he doesn't come. Not your circus not your monkeys.
Deborah B 7 months ago
At this point, I would be informing the landlord that the other tennant and her cohabiting boyfriend were coming into my bedroom and bathroom without my consent, and they were stealing from me (products), and making me feel unsafe. I would inform him that because he had not acted to restrict guests, or provided a lock to protect my privacy and safety, I was having a keyed lock installed on my door, and would deduct the cost from the next month's rent. It is not normal or okay for your flatmate's boyfriend to come into your bedroom and bathroom without permission. I would also text your roommate (so you have screenshots) and say "I have told you repeatedly not to allow or encourage your boyfriend come into my bedroom and bathroom. Having him go through my things and use my toiletries and towels is gross. It's an invasion of my privacy, It makes me feel violated and unsafe. Either keep him away from me, and out of my space, or stop having him over, because this has to stop."
Woodsie 7 months ago
Boyfriend had the hots for OP and is getting off using her shower instead of girlfriend's shower. Who knows he may actually be getting off in the shower. There is no conceivable reason why he needs to use OPs shower, as you can bet that both showers would have the same fittings. Girlfriend is delusional if she thinks this is OK. He should also be limited to the number of times he can stay over, if it's more than the agreed number he should be contributing to bills.
Melissa Harris 7 months ago (edited)
Yeah. That's why the roommate got all weird. She knows her BF is creeping on OP. I'd ban the dude from my apartment and tell the roommate to move in with him or find a new place. She needs to talk to the landlord and use the words "sexual harassment". The dude is coming out nearly naked from her private bathroom and in her personal spaces while she's not there.
Load More Replies...
geraldrboyle@aol.com 7 months ago
Trust is broken. What you are complaining about is probably the tip of the iceberg. Hope you can have him permanently excluded. How the Idiot Male Interloper "feels " (IMI) is completely irrelevant. Perhaps telling the landlord that you no longer feel safe in the property because of the pervasive presence of the IMI might have some positive responses.
The Starsong Princess 7 months ago
Worry less about upsetting them and make them worry more about offending you. Key lock on your bedroom and bathroom. You may have to get a fridge lockbox for your food too. Jake is trying to drive you out.
Trillian 7 months ago
If I was living with a female roommate I would HATE having their boyfriend over this frequently. It's a matter of costs and utilities as well as sharing space with someone. But the very idea that they have separate showers and he uses the one of the roommate blows my mind. I would have told him from the get go that he had NO business being in there as it's not a shared space.
Schmebulock 7 months ago (edited)
That's some crazy a$$ $hit. The first time he used the shower without asking permission should have been the last. The fact that the roommate thinks it's not a big deal is also psycho. She should lie to the roommate about seeing him naked and being attracted to him and see how she feels about it.
Kate Johnson 7 months ago (edited)
I'd tell "Sarah" that I don't care, even a tiny bit, about her bf's comfort nor hers, since she has violated my very clear boundary to stay the F out of my room and bathroom. That from now on she can expect that I will be mad at her and that I will also be informing our landlord of his constant presence and theft in the apartment. I would also say that any further violations will result in my filing a restrain order against him, in which case he will be barred from the property. You don't want to play nice, fine, I won't place nice either.
sturmwesen 7 months ago
time for itching powder in "OPs" shampoo...obviously not in the one she really uses
Cee Cee 7 months ago
What I'd do is remove the shower head and replace it with a basic model. A pain yes but...I would also make sure the bathroom was made very secure. Finally I would send a message to the flatmate saying 'going forward I will only be covering 1/3 of bills including the rent. Start looking for another place ideally on your own as this pair are unlikely to change and are both entitled prats. Good luck.
Robin Roper 7 months ago
Oh heck now! Absolutely not overreacting. BF needs to start paying rent. Both he and the roommate need to go!
roddy 7 months ago
What an entitled a*s he is. Reminds me of flat sharing with a girlfriend whose boyfriend immediately moved in and monopolized the only bathroom with leisurely baths, though he wasn't paying rent. He can pony up some of the rent and share his girlfriend's bathroom. He's a mooch and a thief.
Natalia Girotti 7 months ago
I don´t even let my husband use my batheroom... this is delusional! I wouldn´t put up with it more then a single time!
Catherine Kane 6 months ago
I'm seeing comments that you can't put a camera in the bathroom. If the bathroom is for OP's exclusive use, I'm not sure why not
KatSaidWhat 7 months ago
How soon until the lease is up and he can move in, you can move out and he can have his own shower? Because your roomie has zero respect for your boundaries either.
Veronica Jean 7 months ago
At this point it has nothing to do with the shower and everything to do with the fact that you asked for a very reasonable boundary and they are being manipulative. Normal people respect other people's boundaries.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 7 months ago
Slight disagree that it has nothing to do with the shower - insofar as the fact that Jake could infect OP with a bunch of different things if he happens to be infected with them himself. He could infect her with athlete's foot, warts, HPV, and even MRSA, just to name a few - because he's standing barefoot in her shower/bathroom, which she then presumably also uses barefoot. This is why places with shared showers (gyms, YMCA, hostels, etc.) will recommend wearing waterproof footwear in the shower.
Load More Replies... Tyke 7 months ago
OP should ask the roommate why her boyfriend feels more comfortable in OP's shower as that is just weird, and point out he's stealing and he's being utterly disgusting using her towel. Just ask them both straight and see what that response is. If he felt more comfortable in OP's bed is she meant to just squidge over and make space?
marcelo D. 7 months ago
he feels confortable there cause he uses other people stuff that he doesn't pay for, and the girlfriend doesn't want him using her stuff, but she is an AH and doesn't care if her boyfriend uses OP stuff.
Load More Replies... marcelo D. 7 months ago
whats the AITA for? Her problem is literally solved. "he refuses to come unless I relax", ok, don't relax, he doesn't come. Not your circus not your monkeys.
Deborah B 7 months ago
At this point, I would be informing the landlord that the other tennant and her cohabiting boyfriend were coming into my bedroom and bathroom without my consent, and they were stealing from me (products), and making me feel unsafe. I would inform him that because he had not acted to restrict guests, or provided a lock to protect my privacy and safety, I was having a keyed lock installed on my door, and would deduct the cost from the next month's rent. It is not normal or okay for your flatmate's boyfriend to come into your bedroom and bathroom without permission. I would also text your roommate (so you have screenshots) and say "I have told you repeatedly not to allow or encourage your boyfriend come into my bedroom and bathroom. Having him go through my things and use my toiletries and towels is gross. It's an invasion of my privacy, It makes me feel violated and unsafe. Either keep him away from me, and out of my space, or stop having him over, because this has to stop."
Woodsie 7 months ago
Boyfriend had the hots for OP and is getting off using her shower instead of girlfriend's shower. Who knows he may actually be getting off in the shower. There is no conceivable reason why he needs to use OPs shower, as you can bet that both showers would have the same fittings. Girlfriend is delusional if she thinks this is OK. He should also be limited to the number of times he can stay over, if it's more than the agreed number he should be contributing to bills.
Melissa Harris 7 months ago (edited)
Yeah. That's why the roommate got all weird. She knows her BF is creeping on OP. I'd ban the dude from my apartment and tell the roommate to move in with him or find a new place. She needs to talk to the landlord and use the words "sexual harassment". The dude is coming out nearly naked from her private bathroom and in her personal spaces while she's not there.
Load More Replies... geraldrboyle@aol.com 7 months ago
Trust is broken. What you are complaining about is probably the tip of the iceberg. Hope you can have him permanently excluded. How the Idiot Male Interloper "feels " (IMI) is completely irrelevant. Perhaps telling the landlord that you no longer feel safe in the property because of the pervasive presence of the IMI might have some positive responses.
The Starsong Princess 7 months ago
Worry less about upsetting them and make them worry more about offending you. Key lock on your bedroom and bathroom. You may have to get a fridge lockbox for your food too. Jake is trying to drive you out.
Trillian 7 months ago
If I was living with a female roommate I would HATE having their boyfriend over this frequently. It's a matter of costs and utilities as well as sharing space with someone. But the very idea that they have separate showers and he uses the one of the roommate blows my mind. I would have told him from the get go that he had NO business being in there as it's not a shared space.
Schmebulock 7 months ago (edited)
That's some crazy a$$ $hit. The first time he used the shower without asking permission should have been the last. The fact that the roommate thinks it's not a big deal is also psycho. She should lie to the roommate about seeing him naked and being attracted to him and see how she feels about it.
Kate Johnson 7 months ago (edited)
I'd tell "Sarah" that I don't care, even a tiny bit, about her bf's comfort nor hers, since she has violated my very clear boundary to stay the F out of my room and bathroom. That from now on she can expect that I will be mad at her and that I will also be informing our landlord of his constant presence and theft in the apartment. I would also say that any further violations will result in my filing a restrain order against him, in which case he will be barred from the property. You don't want to play nice, fine, I won't place nice either.
sturmwesen 7 months ago
time for itching powder in "OPs" shampoo...obviously not in the one she really uses
Cee Cee 7 months ago
What I'd do is remove the shower head and replace it with a basic model. A pain yes but...I would also make sure the bathroom was made very secure. Finally I would send a message to the flatmate saying 'going forward I will only be covering 1/3 of bills including the rent. Start looking for another place ideally on your own as this pair are unlikely to change and are both entitled prats. Good luck.
Robin Roper 7 months ago
Oh heck now! Absolutely not overreacting. BF needs to start paying rent. Both he and the roommate need to go!
roddy 7 months ago
What an entitled a*s he is. Reminds me of flat sharing with a girlfriend whose boyfriend immediately moved in and monopolized the only bathroom with leisurely baths, though he wasn't paying rent. He can pony up some of the rent and share his girlfriend's bathroom. He's a mooch and a thief.
Natalia Girotti 7 months ago
I don´t even let my husband use my batheroom... this is delusional! I wouldn´t put up with it more then a single time!
Catherine Kane 6 months ago
I'm seeing comments that you can't put a camera in the bathroom. If the bathroom is for OP's exclusive use, I'm not sure why not
KatSaidWhat 7 months ago
How soon until the lease is up and he can move in, you can move out and he can have his own shower? Because your roomie has zero respect for your boundaries either.
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