Do you want a girl who walks like a T-Rex? Maybe you're looking for somebody who chews so loudly that you'll feel like you're dating the Cookie Monster? Or perhaps you want a partner who applies mustard to fries by squeezing it into their hand and then smearing it all over their food? Well if you said yes to any of the above, then you're in luck because as you can see from this hilarious list of reasons that people deserved a breaking up for, all of these folks are currently leading a single life!
Compiled by Bored Panda, the stories below contain some of the funniest and most bizarre reasons that people have decided breaking up with somebody. It also includes some legendary breaking up quotes that you could definitely use as your own if need be. Let us know which one of the 'reasons why' is the best, and if you've had a funny or odd story ending a relationship then don't forget to add it to the list below! And if browsing through this list, you'll think that being single forever is the way to go, don't worry as there's always a weirdo just for you!
We had planned to do dinner and a movie but I had to work late, so we stopped at Chik-Fil-A on the way to the theater. After she finished eating, she threw her trash out of my car and into the street. I never spoke to her again after that day.
We are at a local brewery and she looks as though she is about to cry. I ask her what the problem is and she mentions that they don't have any vegan options. They have plenty of vegetarian options that allow for you to substitute for vegan cheese, so I suggest that. At this point tears are rolling down her cheek. I ask if she has another place in mind and she immediately perks up. We head over to that restaurant and she orders fish tacos.
His toenails were so long they clicked on the floor like a dog.
I took her out to eat. I said I wanted the salmon, she suggested I ordered a burger 'like a man'.
I dated this girl who was the loudest eater I ever met. She constantly chewed with her mouth open and smacked her lips. God forbid if she really liked it, then there came a litany of mmms and noms as well. It was like dating the cookie monster.
She refused to eat anything besides chicken nuggets and french fries. No substitutions. Not chicken tenders. Not chicken strips. If we went somewhere without nuggets and fries she would just order a Coke and watch me eat.
I once made the mistake of cooking dinner for her. She took one bite and asked if I would be offended if she ran to McDonalds to get nugs/fries.
The voice she used to baby talk to her dog was insufferable. Occasionally she would use it on me but not a lot. Then one night she asked me, "Can I sucky on your dicky?" It was the first, and last, time I turned down sexual activity. We broke up right then and there.
I once broke up with a girl because she couldn't ever decide on something. I would say, "Lets go to the movies" and I'd even ask what movie she wanted to see, and she would NEVER make up her mind. Drove me nuts.
Turns out she had another boyfriend, and when I confronted her about it, she told me "She couldn't decide between the two of us." fml
I hung in there for like 2 years.. The thing that did me in? She made noises, like all the time, and then giggle at herself.
She'd sit down in a chair "ploppppp, hehe." She'd fluff up a pillow "foof foof foof hehe." She'd use the TV remote "pshew pshew hehe." We'd eat out "cunch cunch hehe."
At the end, I wanted to jump off the roof.
She ate my burger that I ordered at Chili's. I asked her if she wanted food. She said no. Right as the food came I went to the bathroom. I came back and the f*cking burger was gone. "Oops I'm sorry I was a little hungry." F you.
I once broke up with a girl because I thought she was hiding something and was going to break up with me. Turns out she was indeed hiding something: a trip to the Caribbean. For us.
I was an idiot at 22.
She asked what I would do if someone poked a hole in my condom.
I was 9 at the time. Got a girlfriend on a Thursday, my mom got me glasses that weekend. I came back to school with glasses and the moment my girlfriend saw me she said "ewwww you dork" and broke up with me. She's a heroin addict now.
She was a one-upper. She'd have a better version of every one of my stories.
She used to sneak up on me while I'm peeing, grab hold of my junk and start aiming for me.
Eventually, I started to fake being startled so I'd have an excuse to piss on her feet, in the hopes that she would realize it's a bad idea.
I dated a girl for a short time, based on a blind date. One night, we were driving to dinner and I was telling a story. I ended by saying "It was funny as hell."
She looked at me and asked, "Do you really think hell is funny?"
Awkward dinner was the last dinner.
She would belch like a trucker, and then look at me excitedly for approval. One time she forced the belch too hard, and threw up in her own lap like a sick dog.
She was putting mustard on her fries by applying it to her hand first and then rubbing it all over the fries. Then she licked the mustard off her hand. You would never ever think she would do this by looking at her or speaking to her.
She would constantly talk specifically during the dialogue of movies. In scenes where nobody was talking...silence. Then as soon as somebody started talking:
"DID YOU READ THAT ARTICLE ON SHEA BUTTER IN THE PAPER?"
He put A1 all over filet mignon I made him for Valentine's Day. This was not some shit big box filet -- hand cut and selected specially for the occasion by butchers I know.
And he wanted it well done.
Woman's gotta have a code, man.... Some shit ain't right.
He was really nice, but when we got to speaking on Facebook and text he could barely spell anything, and didn't find grammar necessary. I felt bad until he called me a bitch.
I broke up with this guy after going out twice because he ended up having NO sense of humor & I love to laugh. After I broke up with him I started getting multiple phone calls on a daily basis from car dealerships - they would always start the conversation off with "Im sorry but I know Im going to pronounce your name wrong"...followed by names such as: Ms. Cuntarella, Ms. Bitschface & Ms. Fatasse. IM NOT KIDDING YALL. Sad thing is, I laughed SO HARD because damn, thats original!
He ate my lunch while I left to get napkins for him. The only meals I ever really got my junior year was the free lunch provided from the school district for low income families. He didn't know that and assumed it was OK because I usually don't get mad over those kind of things but I was on my period and just got done with stupid standardized testing. So I walked away and never looked back.
Every time I yawned she thought it hilarious if she stuck her finger in my open mouth. I could never relax…always had to be prepared for oral violation
I was a 15 year old freshmen and she was 17 year old senior. When we started dating, she said she wanted to wait two months before having sex. I was a virgin and wasn't even really worried about it so I agreed. Then a month later things got hot and heavy and she insisted that we do it; I asked "are you sure? You said you wanted to wait" but she insisted on banging it out anyways. Afterwards, she said that it was a test to see if I would actually wait like I said I would. Then she dumped me.
I suspected her of stealing my Pokémon card. Nothing special, just a Pikachu, but damn, when my suspicions settled in, I smashed all ties with her. I miss being 11.
She put the spoon into the sugar jar after stirring her coffee. Would leave clumps of coffee sugar.
I had left him in the restaurant because he said that cats are stupid. I asked once again: "So, you're saying that MY cat is stupid???" He said: "Yes ..." I stood up and went away. That was our first (and last!) date.
Was staying at a beachhouse with girlfriend and her family. Outdoor shower. I'm in there fapping up a storm because, I don't know, it felt appropriate at the time. You ever get that feeling that someone is watching you? Turns out you can look down into the shower from the top deck railing and her mom and aunt are laughing it up like little girls watching me operate the dutch rudder. I didn't say a single word to girlfriend, got in my car, drove 3 hours home. Just never called her.
I met this gorgeous Kenyan girl. Beautiful to put it simply. I took her to a baseball game and things were going well. But she kept referring to the crowd as "the humans" or "you humans". For instance, 3rd inning comes around and so does the wave. Once it passes us, she sits down, laughs and says "You humans have weird customs." This freaked me out. All I could think was if we are the humans... wtf are you?!
I briefly dated a lady who was very attractive but, I soon learned, probably fell comfortably into the 5th percentile of IQ. I'm from Africa and told her about traditional weddings in my country, where a cow would often be slaughtered in front of the guests, for their consumption. She screwed up her face and said something like "Oh my god, who eats cows?". I looked at her for a moment, and asked "Do you eat beef?". "Yes," came the reply. I got up and left shortly afterwards.
She always said "I don't mind" as the answer to every question put to her. What film do you want to see? What do you want from the chippy? What club do you want to go to tonight? Always "I don't mind" so I would make a choice only to be met with
"ugh, I don't like that. I would rather [insert choice]"
Drove me up the walls.
He didn't eat anything but potatoes, peanut butter, and ramen. He wasn't a broke college student, just a f*cking picky eater. Nope. Adios.
She'd wait until she had the bartender's attention and then start to decide what she wanted to drink.
I had an ex leave me after five years so she could "go be young". About three years later she has two kids and she's divorced.
I absolutely hate anime. Not shitting on it, that's just my brutally honest opinion. I don't know why, but I just can't stand it. Anyways, I didn't have a problem with her loving anime, but I did have a problem with her forcing me to watch it all the time, saying "I'd grow to like it", but if anything my disliking towards it only grew stronger. We couldn't find something we both wanted to watch, no no, we had to watch anime.
We got in a fight because he didn't want me drinking green tea. (He was Mormon) I was fine with the Mormonism but he claimed green tea was bad for my health.
On our first date, I brought her home. I went to let my dog out for a grand total of five minutes, and she shaved her genitals using my razor. I came back in, went in the bathroom, and it was like a shaving cream bomb went off. Then I noticed my razor, wet with hairs on it. I have a full beard, and hadn't used it in over a week. She then played it off like nothing happened, and there was nothing she felt like telling me.
She broke up with me because I was & I'm paraphrasing "an unhinged atheist "
Ps I'm just a research scientist.
I have two. One guy ate like a t-rex. He would keep his elbows by his side while he ate and leaned over to get his food off his fork. Another guy had no shape to the back of his head. His neck just went straight up. Both named Chris.
She had the same name as my sister. I liked her and tried, but I just couldn't do it.
She would always say how much she loved to travel, but has never been outside of California. Retweeting, reblogging, Instagram, everything about her "travels to the grocery store" or "my travels to Yosemite". I ended it cause I said I needed space, last thing she said to me was "good luck on your travels".
Shallowest reason here but with zero exaggeration - her natural laugh was a bellowing siren that sounded extremely forced and fake. During a normal conversation, this reverse duck call would sporatically ring through the public area causing literal standstills, quickly followed by several groups paying full attention to our table just waiting for the next siren to go off. And it would - with the exact same pitch, volume and length.
I once had a girlfriend's dad tell his own daughter that she wasn't good enough for me. No shit. The Japanese are brutal.
She would always make points by asking opposing questions.
For example, "Do I like crunchy peanut butter? No. Do I like creamy peanut butter? Yes."
It happened three or four times a day. And never in a scenario that made sense to be formatted that way. I didn't even break up with her. I just couldn't bring myself to talk to her out of fear of having an aneurysm.
She had lower self esteem than me. No one has lower self esteem than me. NO ONE, JERRY
He obsessed with Japan and anyone on Earth dares to say anything, even if its true about that country he would gone mad. We once walked in Tokyo (as he insist to visit that country) and we saw loads of prostitutes around. He said those must be women from poorer country, like Vietnam, as Japanese are "too cool for that". and I'm a Vietnamese...so...F'off!
I broke up with a guy because he was forcing me to be a fat, furry characters in our roleplays, even when i told him so many times that I hate these things. That was not the only thing, he even forgot my birthday, flirted with my, under age female friend, and even with my ex. The last drop was when he started me sending fake pictures of his genitals, which were much bigger than his real ones, he then blamed me that I made it all up.
1 gf broke up with me because her best friend just broke up with her bf a couple days before. Didn't know our relationships were tied together like that
i once dated a guy who would occasionally talk on the phone to someone in Spanish who he claimed to be his mother. it turned out to be his girlfriend.
He had been cheating on me with his ex-girlfriend for two weeks because he'd been feeling neglected. I had been enrolled in a therapy group by my doctor for clinical depression and social anxiety. A week later, he tells me he broke up with her and wants me back. I said no. He sent a last resort dick pic. I still said no. The next day, his girlfriend finds me on Facebook and messages me to stop bothering her man. His stupidity was mind boggling. I'm happily single.
I dated a guy I had known since we were kids, but had been years since we had seen each other. The first weekend I spent with him, we went to the bar with his friends. After, we all went to his house to watch some stand-up comedy. At one point he got up, went into the kitchen, pissed in fridge, then proceeded to walk back into the living room where he face-planted/passed out into a deep drunken slumber.
The red flag was his friends told me "Don't worry. He does this all the time"
I got along with her father, she liked me because I was a rebel. I still miss her dad.
We were at a dinner party with his friends (another couple) the friends start talking about how it's really difficult to get a decent job with all the migrants. I laugh expecting the joke to be over, it wasn't, he agrees. I'm Mexican I left never saw him again.
She would only eat at restaurants that served Mountain Dew. If they did not, she could/would not eat there.
I kicked that one to the curb quickly and with no hesitation because that's f*cking insane.
She called herself "pretty much a psychologist" after taking Psych 1000.
I was dating a guy briefly early this Spring. He was a bigger guy, about 6'4" and 250 lbs. Two weeks into dating, when I'd try to have a conversation with him, he started to use this tiny, nasally, lispy baby voice to talk to me with! He said stuff like "oh mah gerd", "awww, poor baybay" or "cool story bro"...even had a movie quote for every scenario. All in the lispy baby voice! It was the biggest turn off ever, so I ghosted. No wonder he is single.
A guy left me because I was doing my Master in Cultural Studies. He said that it's not serious course enough and I haven't planned my futhure well. Two weeks later, he was dating a a two-classes-lower student of the same studies.
I can not blame him, she had like amazing boobs.
I left 2 bottles of expensive French wine at his place when I left, told him to keep him for next time we would see each other.
He drank them with his buddies at a camping trip, told me about it afterwards, still asked me if I could bring more "of that french wine he got drunk on"
She would sing along with songs that were playing on the radio, but with a delay of .5 seconds, like she knew the tune, but didn't know the words until she HEARD them. It got SO annoying, SO quickly. Nope.
I'm really into craft beers and I get super excited when I go to a place with a really big tap and/or bottle selection. I was on a second date with a guy and we were at a local bar with one of the best bottle selections in town. As I'm standing there analyzing the different bottles, trying to narrow down what I'd like to try, he orders us two Busch Lites.
I stopped returning his calls after that.
I took a bus, ferry, and subway to commute to her place.
She wouldn't reciprocate. The commuting distribution was wildly uneven! Trains! Boats! Busses!
"I seen that the other day" NOPE. BYE.
He mispronounced words. Drove me crazy. Subtle was one of the words. He said SUB til. I just couldn't...
I once dumped a guy because we were doing the same things every day, like it was an army routine. I saw my life flash before my eyes with all my future days being the same. So, to break the cycle, he had to go.
She left me because I brought flowers and a love letter to her house because we had a pointless fight over text the day prior. Obviously meant as a surprise. When I asked if she's serious she reminded me that she told me 3 months before that she hates surprises and that this was the second strike. 2 years later I realised I dodged a tank shell.
I know someone who broke up with their SO because whenever they took a bite from a fork they would bite down on it while they slid it out of their front teeth. Makes me cringe thinking about it.
Found out she was banging a friend and smoking crack around our baby daughter.
She had the smelliest upper buttcrack. Its almost as if she would wash her buttcrack with a dirtier buttcrack
She said she was a big Pink Floyd fan. Later, didn't recognize Pink Floyd on the radio.
Barbeque sauce. She was from St. Louis and decided that St. Louis style was the ONLY bbq sauce that she would use. I season and smoke a beautiful brisket, and she slathers it with sweet bbq sauce WITHOUT EVEN TRYING IT AS IT WAS INTENDED.
I'm getting angry now.
I made a comment about hating the fact that there are security cameras everywhere.
She fired back with the bullshit "nothing to hide, nothing to fear" argument. I knew we weren't meant to be.
Oh, I have so many stories about him but i'm gonna tell the one that was the last drop for me. We were in his room. I was sitting on his bed and at one point i was looking under his bed and i saw bottles filled with something. i asked him what it was but he refused to tell me. I was afraid to ask, but i did it: "is it pee?". It was. Seven big bottles of pee because he was too lazy to walk in to the hall to the bathroom. I can somehow understand laziness, but why keep 7 bottles of pee?!
During sex, her giant dog jumped up on the bed and licked my balls from behind. Freaked me out, and I completely ghosted her after that. We were doing doggy style.
On a first date we had a coffee then went for a walk at his suggestion to somewhere he liked. We walked for 20 minutes and then he stopped and said thoughtfully, 'I thought we'd sit here.' I turn around expecting a bench, but its just the pavement, and its facing a car park. No second date.
She left me because she thought I was going to leave her for another guy. I'm bisexual, and was head over heels in love with her.
She would constantly say the names of the stores we passed by while driving.
Jiffy Lube. Huh, a Spencers. Gym-boooo-ree (that's how she would say it)
I was the one got dumped but I was talking on the phone to my then girlfriend and my brother says "what if you take her home, and find out her dick is bigger than yours?" I laughed. She asked me what was so funny and I (like an idiot) told her. She broke up with me as soon as I was done telling her. Thinking back on it, I wonder if my brother was right?
We ate mushrooms one night in college and we were coming down laying in bed and I realized she had a weird smell about her. I forgot about it, fell asleep, and after a couple more times seeing each other I ended it because the smell was permanent. Her natural aroma. I just couldn't shake it. It was like a combination of poppers and sweaty feet. We weren't a great match anyways but the smell made the choice easy.
Met the guy on the Saturday, by the next Saturday I had around 700-800 texts off him, he'd send 10 in the time I'd take to reply once. He blew my phone up constantly to the point where I could hardly carry a conversation with someone else, if I was busy for even an hour I'd find myself having to read 50 texts afterwards!
I once broke up with a girl because she was just so fake. She wouldn't just be REAL. The deal breaker was when she tried to steal my unicorn. I told her she was the worst girlfriend i could ever imagine. My current imaginary girlfriend is much nicer.
We were dating for a week when he took me on a trip to meet his family. Not that big of an issue, I guess. Then at the two week mark, he told me he loved me. Right after he said that, he decided to tell me every minute detail about the texture of his ex's vagina. At the three week mark, he showed up at my house at 4 am and moved all of his stuff in. He stole my house key to do it saying it was a surprise. Oh, and he constantly stole cigarettes from me even though he had asthma.
When she wore heels, she walked like Jar-Jar-Binks. You know what I'm talking about.
He believes that the earth is flat.
He let his dog defacate inside the house on the carpet. It was still there 4 days later.
She always ordered food, ate half of it, then ate half of mine. Then she would offer to share what she ordered, but I didn't like the stuff she ordered.
I went out with a girl a few times who was completely normal whenever she was around me, but whenever I saw her with her friends she morphed into one of those weird, screaming, over-excited girls who seem like a flock of chickens. Big turn-off.
I tried to help by explaining that it's unnecessary.
She responded, "I don't never do that!"
I closed my eyes as I was leaving.
I asked him to bring a bottle of red wine to go with dinner and he brought Raspberry Arbor Mist.
She asked for ketchup for her steak at an an expensive steakhouse.
Her voice was annoying and when speaking she placed emphasis on the weirdest parts of the sentence.
This girl was taking too many selfies with me, showing me off to so many people, sexy girl but I felt like a cat.
After 45 minutes of having sex in the same position, asked if he wanted to change positions. His response? No. We have to stick to the agenda.
He voted for Trump. Ew
Years ago I dated a guy who was obsessed with cherry Chapstick. He'd slather it on obsessively including before we'd have sex. Recently a friend was matched with him on OKCupid and asked me if I knew him. I was telling her about the Chapstick thing, and as she scrolls through his profile, we see a list of top 5 things he can't do without. Number 1? CHERRY CHAPSTICK. :(
My brother (who is a bit of a shithead anyways) broke up with a girl because she had dentures and didn't tell him. (She had been in an accident and had all her teeth knocked out.) He tried to paint it as her being dishonest, but I called bullshit. She let him put it in, and he was ready to move on to the next one.
The guy I was with kept sighing when he didn't know what to say. Also he blinked slowly. It drove me mad
He would whine like a puppy when we made out ... thats a no for me
I was dumped because I used my windshield wipers too often.
He would put his mouth over my nose and blow down it. Most horrific thing ever.
I started dating a guy in high school. After about a year of dating, one day out of the blue he mentioned that I was "getting fat". I changed my lifestyle habits and started exercising. Soon after, I had lost 40 pounds and started getting compliments from friends and family members on my progress, some of which were male. My boyfriend didn't like the attention I was getting from "other guys", and told me that I needed to "put some more weight back on" because he was jealous. Bye.
She pronounced it "cold slaw"
She wouldn't french kiss when we made out! I couldn't wrap my head around what she thought making out was. What do you do in this situation?! Do you just peck at one another's face until you become aggravated and try to move on? The dynamics were just all wrong.
He once came with his eyes open and crossed. Just really freaked me out. I could never get the picture of his face out of my mind after that.
After spending the evening at the mall, we bought something a clerk gave us a ticket with a discount for the parking, I laughed and told him that I didn't have a car, after walking a few steps my ex told me that I had embarrassed her for not having one. I decided right there and then that I wouldn't ever marry that type of b!tc#.
Had a gf who broke up with me because her father died. one year later she wanted to be back together. we arranged a date, called her house to check if she was ready. Guess who answered the phone.
She walked like a T. Rex
He and I were living in different states, I was still studying and wanted to pursue a career where I currently was, while he had a great job back home. He was self conscious about the distance between us and gave me an ultimatum, be with him and some point marry him or end things. Well, I guess you know how it went.
She said she saw my dead mother in my room in the middle of the night while I went to the toilet. I asked her to leave and that was the end. 😁
So, i reallllly loved a guy, we date for almost 2years, one day left me at the door, go away and some days later sent me a message saying he didn´t want me anymore...3years passed and he come back, i accepted him (stupid, stupid me)...just to 6 months later he say "my love for you vanish to quickly..."
What a jerk :/
He smeared blood all over my apartment when I was out. Came home to him yelling at me. Then he jumped out my window. I live on the third floor. He broke his pelvis, don't know if he ever learned to walk again.
I dated a guy who would complain constantly and then get mad when I gave him advice. I stopped saying anything when he complained and he accused me of not listening.
I dated this guy for a few months, he was getting on my nerves with his constant baby talk. I was trying to let it go when my mom suggested I bring him to my birthday dinner to meet my family. I invited him and my parents wanted me to open my card. As I was opening my card, my boyfriend handed a card to my mother addressed to both my parents. My mom and dad both looked freaked out. When I read the card, it was a hand written card thanking my parents for having sex and creating me. SEE YA!
He called it 'Malk' and drank it with dinner. Every. Day. (Milk! With an 'i' goddamn it)
Every time we (french) kissed, she said, "Yummy!"
It was meant to be sexy. It. Wasn't.
We had just started seeing each other and one day he started telling me about a cougar that hit on him at the gym (she made eye contact). He wouldn't stop talking about her so I blocked him. I wonder if he actually got a date with the cougar.
He plucked his eyelashes.
No, I'm not confused, I mean his actual eyelashes, on his actual lids.
She sold my copy of "Amused to Death", signed by Roger Waters basicalky for peanuts, to make money for a present for her kid brother. I was caught between killing her or leaving her.
She always wanted to cuddle/touch me/flirt while I was eating. I told her it bothered me, but she thought it was cute or something so she did it often. One night while eating a slice of pizza she kept rubbing her hand up and down my arm, I had decided enough was enough and loudly broke up with her.
He lived on a busy street. His bedroom had two large windows that faced the street.
I was dating a guy, and we were together for about 5 months when all of the sudden he told me that it wasn't working out. I asked him why, he said that I was "too good to him" and then that was the last I heard from him. Lamest excuse ever to give to someone..
I went out on one date with a guy then he self declares, without my opinion or permission, that he is my boyfriend. He then proceeds to call me 'My Love' and called me at 3am everyday! It came to a point where I just ghosted the guy. His calls lasted a month then he went silent and I took it as a sign that he was over me, but no, two weeks from that last call he made to me he started calling again this time with a different number to tell me he 'broke up' with his new gf. The guy is mental!
I had one guy break up with me in high school because he said the ghost of his dead aunt told him to. Ok......
I once dated a girl who refused to make any noise while we had sex. Eventually she quit moving when we had sex too. When I asked her why. She says "if I don't make any sounds I like it." And continued saying "I don't move because I wanna get used to being raped." i don't know what she thinks this is but that ain't it! Deleted!
He laughed at me for half an hour straight when I told him I wanted to fly a fighter plane for the Navy
She was a swimmer at the university we went to and would only shower like once a week(her excuse was she was always in the water anyways). Once we were in bed, I couldn't shake the stench and how sticky her skin was from all the sweat and chlorine. Bad hygiene is a turn off and some body parts really should be taken care of better.
I'd have dinner ready for him every night when he got home from work and every single time he would say "my mum makes it better"
His head was too small. Like freakish, shrunken head small. He was a big dude 6'4 200 pounds, with this tiny child size head I could completely wrap my tiny girl hands around. My friend still call him Tiny Head Paul.
I hope he found someone to love him and that petite noggin of his.
She held her fork overhanded, as in the shovel technique. You can't take someone like that anywhere.
Got a divorce because I came home from deployment and my house was super dirty. Like hoarder dirty.
I broke up with my first love because of peer pressure and i regretted it for a very long time.
I once dating a guy, after having sx, I go to take a shower but I did not lock the door. He open the door suddenly without saying anything and doing his poo poo. while I am still busy with my shampoo.
Sorry for my bad English. xD
Every time he liked something he would say "that's-a-nice" like Borat.
Another guy would touch my boob and whisper "squeeze"
She asked me if I'd wait for her while she went off to f**k a millionaire for a year or two.
He broke up with me because i was sexually assaulted and it was my fault because I wasn't strong enough to push him off
Me and my ex boyfriend were dating in park, we are happy and enjoying the day then suddenly he borrowed my apple iPod then he check my Facebook activity, he saw that I was liked someone picture post then he throw my iPod in a street, after that we end our relationship and I told him to replaced my iPod. I learned that I will never be in relationship to the guy that was younger than me.
I once dated a guy who was so lazy, he never wanted to work, study or go out. He wanted to live off his parents income for the rest of his life. His parents had to force him to even go to a dinner dance that my dance group was hosting. He threw a huge fit saying "my mum never took me to those when I was a kid" and flung my hand off his hand. the whole situation drove me mad. After 4 weeks of his laziness, I left him.
I broke up with my ex (partially... ok mostly) because the sex was SOOO bad. Like only missionary, no noises, hour long awful silent sex. I loved him otherwise but that was so painfully boring I couldn't keep going.
One ex ended up being horribly mean and rude to her whole family and would curse the out in front of me, and I didnt like that. Then as i started to break up with her she asked me to stay with her so that she could win a bet with her mom that i wasnt breaking up with her
I was on a date with a very boisterous and buxom girl who lived in one of the other houses my landlord owned. She seemed nice so I took her to a nice restaurant for dinner one evening. She never stopped talking!
I should say at this point that I had recently been commended at work for my honesty. At one point in the evening, my nerves frayed by the one sided conversation, she said her mother thought she talked too much, what did I think? My honesty ensured we never had a second date.
He asked me to wear a scarf on my head ! Screw that m out
When I was 19 I took my girlfriend to a local concert. She asked if she could bring a friend, which was fine as I was bringing some friends. Turns out the friend she brought was her boyfriend. To make matters worse there was another dude there that was her "boyfriend" too. All three of us broke up with her that night.
I was a young freshly single mom. He would literally race me to change my infant son's diaper. The third time we hung out, he asked, "soo what do you think about people who like get married really fast after meeting?" He insisted on meeting my parents, and I have never seen a grown ass man brown nose the way he did with my dad. New Year's Eve, while dad was in the bathroom, he basically, LOUDLY, in front of extended fam, said "hush babe, the men are talking." Boy, BYE.
She had a mole on her eyelid. Every time I kissed her I saw it when I was leaning in. I started having dreams that the mole was talking to me.... That was the end.
He wouldn't use tongue when we made out. If I tried, he'd stop kissing me and teasingly say, "Put that tongue back in there."
I dumped him because we went on one date- ONE DATE- and halfway through that date, he started talking about how he feels what strong chemistry we have and how he knows we're gonna be together forever, we'll buy a house and get married and he'll adopt my young son... really creeped me out. So I dumped him and he blew up my phone daily for almost two months after.
He would always stare at me no matter what I did. We could be walking or he could be driving and he'd always have his neck craned down, staring at me. Turns out after I broke up with him he turned into a complete psychopath. Didn't surprise me one bit.
I was dumped because I was not "totally and completely" in love with him, after just 1 week. I told him to take it slow, he told me he couldn't be with someone who doesn't share his feelings... What f**king feeling after just 1 week ???
He said my hair was too short, and I needed to pull on it as often as possible every day to make it grow faster.
This guy and I were very much in love. We got along great and had alot of fun together. One day we had planned a really great day together but he never showed up. I called and ge was really distant with me. I asked him to come over so we could talk. He came over and he barely could look at me. I asked him what was wrong and ge started to cry. He said he had to break up with me because his mother told him he had to. He said his mother wanted him to go out with someone from their church.
He liked to make out with my ear more than he liked to make out with me. My ear! Heavy breathing, tongue and all. That one didn't last long.
He incorporated How I Met Your Mother into every aspect of his life. Like he did actual slap bets. He was constantly quoting the show. One day I was trying to have a serious conversation with him about my anxiety and depression and he had said something about how when he's sad he just stops being sad and is happy instead. Two weeks later I was watching HIMYM and seen an episode where Barney had said the exact same thing he had said to me. Nope. Done.
Laying in bed, naked, and the guy (who didn't tell me he was a virgin until afterwards) slips it in for all of three seconds beforehand finishing. I freak out since there was no condom and he turns to look straight into my eyes and says "don't worry, I'll be a great dad. I won't go anywhere." Thank God i wasn't pregnant and got the hell out it as fast as I could- changed my number, blocked him on everything, and never spoke to him again.
When I was 12 I had my first girlfriend. I broke up with her because she tried to make out with me and I was scared because I never had. Fast forward a year, we were back together and I broke up with her again because she wanted to go all the way. 13 is too young, and I still stand by that decision.
She wouldn't change the volume on the TV to an even number. I mean how hard is it to put the TV on 30 instead of 29
Dude, one time this girl played with my dick hole and made it look like it was talking, while she imitated baby talk.
I found an open condom wrapper in his bathroom trash can. I confronted him and he said his cat was playing with the condom and probably poked a few holes. I left immediately because the condom was missing from the wrapper.
He wore lipstick.
I was interested in this girl I worked with. Gave her a ride home one night and she invited me in. She had an 18-month old daughter, which I was okay with. While we were talking, the kid needed a diaper change, like a MAJOR #2 issue. She used the wet, crappy diaper as a wipe, nothing else, and left a lot of poo on the poor kid, then went right back to talking like it was no big deal. Nope! Bye, Felicia!
Her mouth made a trapezoid when she talked...
Funny, I just had a friend telling me stories of a guy who broke up with his girlfriends for petty reasons. Apparently he broke up with his most recent ex for two reasons:
1: She didn't know how to make scrambled eggs.
2: They were making hot chocolate in a pot, and she was moving it from the pot to her mug with a small spoon. One spoonful at a time.
On a dinner date he hawked up a big gob of mucus, pulled out his hanky & put it back into his pocket, Bon appetite ! You can't unsee that shit, even now it makes me want puke.
I met a guy on Tinder. On our first date, he took me to a pizza joint and told me he is a vegan but said I can still order what I like. I ordered one of the specialty meaty pizza only to have him criticize and try to convert me the rest of the night. I told him I had to rush for my train to get home and ghosted him since.
Local radio station had a similar line of questions and were talking calls a while back. I heard this girl explain that every time she was driving with her date, he would make squealing tire noses under his breath every time they turned. Always made me laugh thinking of that.
she left me because I was"mooching off of her and using her for her money." side note: I've never been unemployed for longer than a month since I was 15, work 50+ hours a week, and let her drive my brand new dream car for about 20,000 miles. she was unemployed on three separate occasions during the year and a half we were together, never helped pay for any of the bills, and I'm pretty sure she cheated on me. man I know how to pick them.
I got dumped because our sex life had really gotten bad...I wanted to more often then him (I'm a girl) and he didnt want to as often. I asked him why he never wanted to have sex and he told me if I lost weight he would want to more often (I was a little chubby but not huge by any means!) then we started working out together that week. He quit working out with me but I continued. About a week later I was still upset about him basically calling me fat...He told me I should 'just get over it'. Bye!
She walked too slow. We'd go out somewhere and walk down the street and I'd turn around and she's like 20 feet behind me.
She was allergic to peanut butter. Like really bad. If I was gonna see her I couldn't have peanut butter for the two days before. That's a life I don't want to live.
I was dating two guys with the same name. It was getting confusing. So I dumped one. Been with the other for 27 years now.
He thought I looked like Cindy Crawford (even though I really don't) and would call me not by name but always Cindy.
He thought it was a compliment, I thought it was bullshit. So Cindy says bye bye.
I broke up with my ex because he wasn't only a big narcissist, who tought that he was the most funniest guy in the world. He made up really stupid songs about himself like "uncle Wes, uncle Wes, is the best" ( Wes is short for Wesley) and laugh. He was also very gross. For example he tought I would appreciate it to get pictures of is poop. Clearly I didn't.
I was broken up with when I was 20. She said I wasn't providing a good enough life for her. I had no family to speak of and literally started out on my own at 16 with just clothes. I talked to her about it and she wanted me to own a fully furnished nice house, a brand new car, and have daily maid service. Needless to say I didn't try to win her back when I found that out. Last I heard she was single and living with her mom almost 10 years later.
Turned out she was a he.
He smelled soo bad. I could smell his junk through his pant when I stood next to him. Also his teeth were super yellow. I took him to prom and he didn't smell and his teeth were whitish. So I figured he cleaned himself for once and really didn't care for his personal hygiene..
i met a cute guy in a club, we walked in the park after and kissed all night, was nice, so when he asked for date i said yes, before he arrived he called to say he had a surprise for me...i was thinking flowers, a romantic date planned, wine...but no...he brought his two year old daughter to meet me as 'she was going to be a big part of my life from now on'' ...i didnt even know his surname
Dated a guy that thought every sex session was a marathon...that required multiple breaks in order to "last longer." Ain't nobody got time for that. My vagina is much happier now.
Took her out for Steak and she plunged the fork in the middle of the Steak and started biting off chunks.
I looked at him, really looked at him from a distance, and realized that his head was just waaaay too big for his body. I spent the next two weeks trying to convince myself that it really wasn't that big, or that even if it was, I shouldn't care.
But I couldn't get it out of my head so...goodbye Big-head Steve, hello shallow Me.
Not me but a friend broke up with his last gf because "she chewed popcorn too loudly during movies". His nickname is Costanza now.
She watched me play Halo and told me I wasn't as good as I thought I was.
I broke up with this girl because she was ready loud no matter where we were at, and she have an even louder laugh; one time we were at church an the priest said a funny comment that got some small soft laughs from the people, and then my ex laughed SO laugh than not only the congregation stared at us, but even the preist said: "we'll I'm glad that somebody really enjoyed my comment"
I had once a crazy possessive type of girlfriend who didn't trust me to even be in de next room with a bunch of people without her being there all clingy and coy. After almost two years of hell dating her, she wanted to get married and wanted me to propose to her one evening during dinner at a fancy restaurant. I was so desperate of a way out that I told her I have epilepsy and gave her a show of a grand seizure right there and then. Well never seen hide nor hair of her since.
I'm transgendered (F to M) and at 19, I was still a bit confused about myself. I needed to find out if I was into men AT ALL. Dated this guy for two months until I figured it out, I totally was not gay. Told him that I like girls and dumped him. Poor guy. He started dating men after that, so I guess everything turned out alright?
She was so jealous to my bestie (also a girl), so she asked me to stop my contact with her. I don't miss her
He told me that he felt like I was always choosing my dog over him. It's a dog! He needs to be walked/fed/loved. I told him he was right.
Me Ex girlfriend smoked meth and laughed when she told me about it. Never again
His pregnant, soon-to-be baby's mom threw a brick at my windshield... That did it for me.
A guy asked me out to dinner, drove for an hour to a rundown looking kebab store that did the 'biggest kebabs ever' and despite my offering a few alternative options we went in and ordered. When the cashier rang up the price, no shit, this dude Faked a phone call and went and stood outside with one eye on the till until the second I had finished paying.
He then took my left overs home for his parents.
She drank beer from a can through a straw. Not the only reason we broke up, but that was the straw that broke it.
She tried to snuggle and be cute during Inception. Never once did she pay attention. Then it ended and she told me she hated it because it was too confusing. I never could let it go.
He wears Crocs and sweats. All the time. ALL THE TIME.