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Mother-In-Law Wants To Sleep In Couple’s Bed, Can’t Take ‘No’ For An Answer And Starts Marital Drama
117points
2.1K
People, Relationships2 months ago

Mother-In-Law Wants To Sleep In Couple’s Bed, Can’t Take ‘No’ For An Answer And Starts Marital Drama

I don’t know a person who would feel bad for having strong relationships with their relatives – it just feels so comforting to be part of a warm and loving family where you know everyone has each other’s back.

But, of course, such a connection doesn’t appear out of thin air. It grows from love, communication, security, and a few rules too.

Sadly, Reddit user throwra4t33 has ended up in a predicament where a few of these crucial components are missing. At least temporarily.

According to the woman, her mother-in-law moved in with her and her husband while the lady’s house was being renovated. The couple, therefore, set up a whole guest room just for her, including everything she might need for the stay.

However, for whatever reason, the lady started taking naps in the couple’s bed and found that she really liked doing so.

While her son wasn’t bothered by this, throwra4t33 most certainly was, resulting in some unfortunate tension.

This woman felt her mother-in-law was pushing boundaries after discovering that she’s been napping in her and her husband’s bed

Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)

But unfortunately, she and her partner didn’t see eye to eye on this issue

Image credits: Kampus Production (not the actual photo)

Image credits: throwra4t33

Interestingly, women not getting along with their mother-in-law is actually a good sign for their marriage. A  26-year longitudinal study found that when a husband reported having a close relationship with his wife’s parents, the couple’s risk of divorce decreased by 20 percent. But when a wife reported having a close relationship with her husband’s parents, the couple’s risk of divorce increased by 20 percent.

Terri Orbuch, psychologist and research professor at the University of Michigan, began the research in 1986 with 373 couples in their first year of marriage, and followed up with them over time. She told the Wall Street Journal that she believes the findings are due to the different ways husbands and wives approach their relationships with their in-laws.

“Women value a close relationship with their in-laws but may ultimately view them as meddling, while men are more interested in providing for their families, and take their in-laws’ actions less personally,” Orbuch explained. “Because relationships are so important to women, their identity as a wife and mother is central to their being. They interpret what their in-laws say and do as interference into their identity as a spouse and parent.”

Because of this, Orbuch advises parents of sons to be mindful of behavior their daughter-in-law may interpret as “meddling,” while parents of daughters should be open to bonding with their sons-in-law.

As this story perfectly illustrates, wives should maintain boundaries with their in-laws.

As her story went viral, the original poster (OP) provided a bit more information on the whole ordeal

And it was her that most people sided with

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Hey pandas, what do you think?
Jamie
Community Member
2 months ago

Easy. You move into the guest room (which sounds amazing) and let your husband share his bed with mommy since they both like it so much.

Shnookumpie
Community Member
2 months ago

Oh my gosh! That was my first thought @Jaimie! Let MIL and hubby share the room, enjoy the guest room solo..... Something is very 'off' here..... MIL insisting to nap in marital bed because she 'likes it', over and against your wants, needs and preferences.... stepping between your marriage, causing damaging conflict to harmony of household, putting her son up against his WIFE.... Sounds like divide and conquer..... it doesn't sound like it's really about the naps in the bed.... sounds like she wants ALL of the Ukraine..... (I meant Master bedroom).... and then on to take control of the entire house, at your physical, emotional, financial and marital expense. Tread carefully and stop this now. If spouse isn't going to support YOU above his mother in this.... ai yi yi..... You've probably already figured out it'll get worse and isn't going to end well.....

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JayWantsACat
Community Member
2 months ago

Yet another shitty relationship with a spineless mama's boy. I'd take over the guest room and let the MIL and her son sleep together in that bed like they seemingly want to.

Neir Lucan
Community Member
2 months ago

I've never understood mama's boys! I grew up with a loving but crazy mother, and my response was to create boundaries as soon as I was able. It just seems obvious!

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The Starsong Princess
Community Member
2 months ago

This couldn’t have been more about dominance if she p***ed on your bedroom rug. Anyway, I think you need to ask yourself why you are still with a guy who moves his mother in, wants her to sleep in his bed (also your bed), buys toys instead of contributing to the mortgage and gives you the silent treatment. Imagine life without all this.

Sienna Marie
Community Member
2 months ago

Sounds like a son. Not a husband

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Jamie
Community Member
2 months ago

Easy. You move into the guest room (which sounds amazing) and let your husband share his bed with mommy since they both like it so much.

Shnookumpie
Community Member
2 months ago

Oh my gosh! That was my first thought @Jaimie! Let MIL and hubby share the room, enjoy the guest room solo..... Something is very 'off' here..... MIL insisting to nap in marital bed because she 'likes it', over and against your wants, needs and preferences.... stepping between your marriage, causing damaging conflict to harmony of household, putting her son up against his WIFE.... Sounds like divide and conquer..... it doesn't sound like it's really about the naps in the bed.... sounds like she wants ALL of the Ukraine..... (I meant Master bedroom).... and then on to take control of the entire house, at your physical, emotional, financial and marital expense. Tread carefully and stop this now. If spouse isn't going to support YOU above his mother in this.... ai yi yi..... You've probably already figured out it'll get worse and isn't going to end well.....

Load More Replies...
JayWantsACat
Community Member
2 months ago

Yet another shitty relationship with a spineless mama's boy. I'd take over the guest room and let the MIL and her son sleep together in that bed like they seemingly want to.

Neir Lucan
Community Member
2 months ago

I've never understood mama's boys! I grew up with a loving but crazy mother, and my response was to create boundaries as soon as I was able. It just seems obvious!

Load More Replies...
The Starsong Princess
Community Member
2 months ago

This couldn’t have been more about dominance if she p***ed on your bedroom rug. Anyway, I think you need to ask yourself why you are still with a guy who moves his mother in, wants her to sleep in his bed (also your bed), buys toys instead of contributing to the mortgage and gives you the silent treatment. Imagine life without all this.

Sienna Marie
Community Member
2 months ago

Sounds like a son. Not a husband

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