Woman Plans To Crash Friend’s Holiday Plans With Her Toddler And Marital Problems, Gets Rejected

Friends have a profound impact on our well-being, for better or worse. A quality friendship can enrich one’s life by providing a sense of community and helping one stay healthier, happier, and less stressed. On the other hand, a bad friend who takes more than they give and tries to make it all about themselves can take a toll on our mood, morale, and other aspects of our mental health.

For this woman, her relationship with her best friend had started to creep into the second category. However, she recently decided to set some boundaries after the friend wanted to crash her relaxing holiday with her toddler and her marital problems.

Scroll down to find the full story and conversation with licensed mental health counselor Veronica Lichtenstein and sexuality, coming out, and divorce support coach Anne-Marie Zanzal, who kindly agreed to share their insights on one-sided friendships.

Friendships have a profound impact on us, for better or worse

Two women smiling together, representing a woman setting boundaries with her friend about hosting a toddler.

Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)

This woman’s relationship with her best friend started to negatively affect her as she constantly felt like she was being used

Woman sets boundaries with friend refusing to host toddler during holiday, expressing frustration over changed friendship.

Text excerpt showing woman’s story about setting boundaries with friend who keeps using her by hosting her toddler repeatedly.

Text excerpt showing a woman expressing feelings of disappointment and setting boundaries with her friend regarding hosting her toddler.

Three women smiling and laughing indoors, reflecting boundaries and a woman having enough of her friend using her.

Image credits: A. C./Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Woman sets boundaries with friend after feeling used to host toddler and handle demanding baby shower requests.

Text screenshot showing a woman explaining how she set boundaries after being used by a friend and refusing to host her toddler.

Text excerpt about setting boundaries with a friend who uses her, refusing to host a toddler again.

Alt text: Woman sets boundaries with friend who uses her to host toddler’s events and expects her to plan parties.

Stressed woman in blue shirt setting boundaries with friend after feeling used and overwhelmed by toddler hosting requests.

Image credits: Wavebreak Media/Freepik (not the actual photo)

Text excerpt about a woman setting boundaries after her friend relies on her to host and manage toddler-related events.

Text image showing a woman expressing feelings of being used and setting boundaries with her friend over hosting her toddler.

Text excerpt about a woman setting boundaries with her friend regarding hosting a toddler and baby birthday plans.

Alt text: Woman setting boundaries with friend refusing to host her toddler, expressing she has had enough of being used.

Woman setting boundaries on a phone call, showing frustration while discussing hosting her toddler with a friend.

Image credits: Stockbusters/Freepik (not the actual photo)

Text excerpt about a woman setting boundaries with her friend who wants to stay during marital problems.

Text excerpt showing a woman explaining why she set boundaries with her friend about hosting a toddler.

Text conversation about setting boundaries with a friend regarding hosting a toddler in a house not toddler friendly.

Text post explaining personal boundaries about not hosting a toddler due to discomfort with smoking cannabis around children.

Woman in green dress setting boundaries on phone while sitting in red armchair indoors.

Image credits: olegfedotov/Freepik (not the actual photo)

Text excerpt showing a woman expressing boundaries about hosting her friend's toddler amid discussions of marital discord.

Alt text: Woman sets boundaries with friend refusing to host toddler in her childfree home, emphasizing clear limits and respect.

Text conversation showing a woman setting boundaries with her friend about hosting a toddler during a visit.

Conversation text showing a woman setting boundaries with her friend regarding hosting her toddler.

Alt text: Woman sets boundaries with friend after feeling used and refuses to host toddler during visit.

Woman lying in bed looking upset reflecting on friend using her and setting boundaries with toddler hosting request.

Image credits: New Africa/Freepik (not the actual photo)

Text excerpt discussing a woman feeling her friend is manipulative and entitled regarding free childcare.

Text excerpt showing a woman expressing frustration and setting boundaries with her friend about hosting a toddler.

Text from woman setting boundaries about hosting toddler during limited vacation time, expressing frustration.

Image credits: [deleted]

“When a friendship is not reciprocal, that can be a red flag that you are being used”

Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)

Licensed mental health counselor Veronica Lichtenstein tells Bored Panda that friendships should be all about balance, and if it’s not there, it’s a telltale sign that one of the friends is being taken advantage of.

“If you’re getting something out of the relationship—like support or good times—you’re probably not being used. It’s about balance. If you’re doing things that make you happy, even for your friend, that’s fine. But if you notice that you’re always the one initiating plans or feel drained after hanging out, those are red flags,” she explains.

“When a friendship is not reciprocal, that can be a red flag that you are being used. You’re initiating plans, checking in, remembering birthdays… and it’s rarely reciprocated. Friendship should have a give-and-take rhythm to it,” agrees sexuality, coming out, and divorce support coach Anne-Marie Zanzal.

“It is always about them. They dominate conversations with their problems, needs, and stories—but rarely (if ever) ask about your life or listen with genuine interest. You feel drained, not nourished. After spending time with them, you often feel exhausted, anxious, or like your needs didn’t matter in the interaction,” says Zanzal, listing the signs that indicate someone is being taken advantage of by their friend.

Someone who uses their friends might not even notice that they’re doing it, says Lichtenstein.

“Those with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) often see situations from their perspective only. Others may have been pampered their whole lives and simply don’t understand boundaries. Plus, we teach people how to treat us; if you’re always available, friends will keep asking because you have taught them that you will say yes.”

“Boundaries are so important in friendship”

Image credits: eugeneshemyakin9 (not the actual photo)

When a person notices they’re being taken advantage of by their friend, they should try to set boundaries with them. “Boundaries are so important in friendship. You should be able to say “no” or “I don’t want to” without a friend taking offense. This conversation could be helpful if you believe they are unaware of their advantage-taking behavior,” says Zanzal.

Lichtenstein additionally advises setting a boundary in an honest but direct way. “If you can’t help with something, say so. For example, “I can’t drive you to the party because I have to work,” but offer to help them figure out a ride instead. Friends learn quickly who genuinely wants to help and who doesn’t, and they respect those boundaries if they respect the friendship.”

“You are not ‘mean,’ ‘cold,’ or ‘selfish’ for needing boundaries,” adds Zanzal. “If they react negatively or give the silent treatment, a good question to ask is, ‘Is this relationship worth saving? Is this the type of person I want to hang out with?'”

Setting boundaries and agreeing on what you truly want to do is a great way to avoid being taken advantage of by friends. “If it feels off, don’t commit just because they promise compensation. Setting boundaries is actually a sign of self-respect and can strengthen your friendships. Be clear about your limits, and if you decide to make an exception, communicate that too. Kindness and honesty are key, along with consistent communication,” concludes Lichtenstein.

The commenters supported the original poster

Text comment about a woman setting boundaries with her friend who has been using her repeatedly.

Comment discussing a woman setting boundaries after her friend used her for free labor and hosting her toddler.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment questioning what the woman is gaining from her friendship with someone using her.

Comment supporting a woman setting boundaries with a friend who uses her by hosting her toddler repeatedly.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing boundaries about hosting a toddler due to feeling used by a friend.

Text comment about a woman setting boundaries with a friend who uses her, emphasizing protecting her heart and taking a step back.

Comment text about a woman setting boundaries with a friend who keeps using her and her toddler.

Text post showing advice on setting boundaries in a friendship where one person feels used and unappreciated.

Screenshot of an online comment about a woman setting boundaries with her friend over hosting a toddler.

Comment discussing setting boundaries as a woman has enough of her friend using her and hosting toddler requests.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a woman setting boundaries with her friend about hosting a toddler.

Screenshot of an online comment about a woman setting boundaries with her friend over hosting her toddler repeatedly.

ALT text: Screenshot of a reddit comment discussing boundaries in friendship and emotional abuse involving hosting a toddler.

Screenshot of a woman setting boundaries after having enough of her friend using her and hosting her toddler repeatedly.

Woman sets boundaries with friend using her, refuses to host toddler due to lack of experience and child-free lifestyle.

Alt text: Woman setting boundaries with friend refusing to host toddler, explaining the emotional and energy toll.

Comment text on a white background discussing a woman setting boundaries with her friend over hosting a toddler.

Comment from online forum discussing a woman setting boundaries after her friend used her for free childcare and lodging.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment expressing a woman setting boundaries with her friend about not hosting her toddler.

Comment discussing woman setting boundaries with friend who uses her and refuses to host toddler repeatedly.

Poll Question

Total votes ·

Thanks! Check out the results:

Total votes ·

Newsletter

Subscribe to Access
Exclusive Polls

Subscribe

By entering your email and clicking Subscribe, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Privacy Policy.

Thank you! You've successfully subscribed to newsletters!

Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing!

Follow Bored Panda on Google News!

Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda!