Entitled Husband And His Brother Think His Wife Complains Too Much Because She’s The Only One Responsible For All The Housework, Are Given An Ultimatum
If you’re not Monica Geller from the good old TV sitcom Friends, then you probably aren’t too excited when the time to clean your home comes. But whether we like it or not, that is just something that we have to do. But knowing that there is a helping hand at home makes it much easier to cope with a whole load of various chores. Having this in mind, Reddit user @u/Rainbow62993 decided to share the situation that occurred in her home that made her issue an ultimatum to her husband and his brother who lives with them. After the situation took place, the woman decided to share it with others online, receiving almost 2.5k upvotes and many comments with advice from internet strangers.
More Info: Reddit
No matter how peacefully we live with our family members, sometimes that peace gets broken by disagreements over having to take of household chores
Image credits: are you my rik? (not the actual photo)
The 29-year-old woman shared that she lives together with her husband and his brother. The author of the post shared that while they all work full-time jobs, since the woman works as a freelancer, she can plan her work time that is most convenient for her. Because of this reason, she takes on many household chores, including taking care of the whole family’s laundry, picking up her husband and his brother from work as they now only have one car, and preparing dinner.
Reddit user decided to give her husband and his brother an ultimatum after they complained about having to wash dishes
Image credits: Rainbow62993
The very few rules that the woman has is that when she’s getting ready to cook, she wants everything to be cleaned and the dishes washed and always make sure to leave everything clean after she’s done. But recently she found out that her husband and her brother-in-law aren’t happy about them having to take care of the dishes and listen to her “complain” about it as well as putting their dirty clothes in the laundry basket. The woman revealed that she feels like she puts a lot of effort into taking care of the house and these are only a few things that she asks them to do, and now she gets backlash for it too.
The woman shared that she does most of the work at home and only asks the men to take care of the dishes and make sure to put their laundry in the basket
Image credits: Rainbow62993
The original poster then shared that she talked with her husband and brother-in-law and told them that she will no longer say anything about those things, and will just proceed according to the situation, so if the dishes are not done – then no dinner that evening is going to be served. The same will be applied to the laundry, meaning that if the clothes are not in the hamper, then they will not be washed. After stating this new plan, the woman wanted to know if she wasn’t too harsh about this, and thus asked the opinions of others online.
After they shared that they don’t want to keep taking care of the dishes and are tired of her complaints, she thought of a way out of it
Image credits: Rainbow62993
The author of the post decided that no clean dishes means that she will not cook dinner for them, nor she will pick up their dirty laundry to get it washed
Image credits: Rainbow62993
A lot of people online agreed with her plan and even were shocked to see how much she does for them, to the point where she seems more like a mom to two sons instead of a wife. Later in the comments, the author of the post explained that she has tried to talk about this with her husband because she knows that he sometimes suffers from depression, and thought that maybe now he’s just going through a hard time. What was interesting to notice is that the husband’s behavior changed once his brother moved in. In one of her recent updates, OP shared that now things are going much smoother, as her husband helps with keeping up with the workload and her brother-in-law is getting ready to move on.
Someone commented that this is too “harsh”, so now the woman wants to know if she went too far with it
Image credits: Rainbow62993
What are some of the ways to optimize the housework so that you can spend the rest of your free time doing something interesting and joyous? According to Care.com, a company that connects those who need help and caregivers, one of the main things that help to tackle the load of work is by including other family members, creating a task list and assigning each person to a certain task. It’s also important to evaluate how much time a certain task requires, so that you won’t spend too much time on one thing. Another useful thing to have in mind is making sure to get rid of all things that clutter the house and make it harder to clean faster and keep the house tidy.
People online were quick to share their opinions on the matter and assured the woman that she was right
Image credits: Miguel Discart (not the actual photo)
Some users were curious to find out more about the situation, so the original poster shared some more details on the matter
Image credits: Rainbow62993
According to the woman, the situation changed for the better
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Rainbow62993
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OP says that she told her BIL the $100/week would include laundry. So...what about the meals, general cleaning and chauffeuring? Has she just been throwing that in for free? Absolutely NTA for standing up for herself, but if hubby and BIL's improved behaviour doesn't stick she needs to get him out of the house because BIL's clearly a poor influence on his brother.
BIL showing up and this happening is not a coincidence. First I would talk to the husband and see if it can't be worked out. In no way should she be taking care of BIL. She didn't marry him or even agree to help him. If he won't listen tell him each is responsible for their own selves. Don't cook or clean for them anymore. If they can't handle it tell them you are looking for another place. They are just more children masquerading as adults
NTA. I find your solution entirely reasonable. Your setting a boundary. If they want to eat it’s simple make sure the dishes are clean. Nothing AH about that.
OP says that she told her BIL the $100/week would include laundry. So...what about the meals, general cleaning and chauffeuring? Has she just been throwing that in for free? Absolutely NTA for standing up for herself, but if hubby and BIL's improved behaviour doesn't stick she needs to get him out of the house because BIL's clearly a poor influence on his brother.
BIL showing up and this happening is not a coincidence. First I would talk to the husband and see if it can't be worked out. In no way should she be taking care of BIL. She didn't marry him or even agree to help him. If he won't listen tell him each is responsible for their own selves. Don't cook or clean for them anymore. If they can't handle it tell them you are looking for another place. They are just more children masquerading as adults
NTA. I find your solution entirely reasonable. Your setting a boundary. If they want to eat it’s simple make sure the dishes are clean. Nothing AH about that.
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