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Mom And Sister Try To Hijack Woman’s Graduation Road Trip With Babysitting Job, Lose It At ‘No’
It’s common courtesy to respect another person’s decision if they say no to a favor you ask. Pushing the issue or acting out only creates a rift that no one wanted in the first place.
This was a problem a woman dealt with when her sister asked her to cancel her planned graduation trip and take on babysitting duties. She refused, sparking a sibling feud. However, their rift only worsened when their mom joined in and called her out for being “selfish and immature.”
Feeling confused, she turned to the AITAH Reddit community to hopefully find some clarity.
RELATED:
A woman’s planned college graduation trip caused a rift within her family
Image credits: MD Duran / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
According to her, it was a trip she had planned and saved for since her sophomore year
Image credits: Will Truettner / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
However, her sister demanded that she cancel the trip to take on babysitting duties
Image credits: user25451090 / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Everyone called her names when she refused, including her mom, who suddenly joined in
Image credits: Sweet_Piece1502
Excessive entitlement typically happens among people who are close to each other
A 2021 study published in Frontiers of Psychology revealed three types of relational entitlement behavior: excessive, restrictive, and assertive. And while the research focused on romantic partners, it also applies to people close to each other, like family.
Psychologist Dr. Mark Travers differentiated these three, noting that excessive entitlement is a “pathological form” in which people only think about their own needs and ignore those of others.
Restrictive entitlement is the exact opposite, where timid individuals refuse to express their opinions or desires. Assertive entitlement lies in between, where the person can act reasonably, but is self-assured enough to pursue their needs.
Image credits: Pablo Merchán Montes / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Based on the study and Dr. Travers’ descriptions, the older sister may have displayed excessive entitlement by forcing her younger sibling to forgo her plans and accommodate her request.
It also helps to understand how a person develops a sense of entitlement. According to mental health professional Arlin Cuncic, MA, being spoiled or indulged as a child is one possible reason for a person to carry this mentality.
In the story, the older sister seems to have been heavily favored by their parents growing up, and this still appears to be the case with the mom siding with her.
Most experts agree that boundaries are necessary when dealing with an entitled person. Workplace psychologist and executive coach Stefan Falk advises sending a clear message that such behavior isn’t acceptable, and even calling out the other person if they’ve become too much to handle.
The author did her part by standing her ground. Besides, the sister could have explored other babysitting options, including her own mother.
Most readers sided with the author, with some offering their suggestions
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What do you think ?
KatSaidWhat 9 months ago
I'm not sure how far that sister should f**k off but it's not far enough. Hope she enjoyed her graduation trip.
arthbach 9 months ago
The most pertinent comment above is the sister and brother in law will have another anniversary next year, whereas the graduation trip will only happen this one time. If the sister had asked nicely, she might even have been able to get have a delayed anniversary trip the following week.
Alexandra 9 months ago
A child is not a family project. It doesn't take a village: it takes just the parents. Parents should stop counting on the help of those who aren't the parents. You can ask, of course, but don't throw a tantrum if someone tells you 'no'. Your kids are not someone else's priority.
Glasofruix 9 months ago
When you don't have kids NOTHING you do is important when babysitting is involved. "Oh you've spend hundreds to thousands on your plans? Too bad you now have to cancel everything because someone with children has more important plans because kids"
Sue Ellen Bowen 9 months ago
The sister's trip is not more important than OP's. It sucks her babysitter bailed but thems the breaks.
Mary Muir 9 months ago
this isn't even high school but college graduation!! it's important! a child free anniversary weekend? No, not important; as the parents it's for them to watch their children if the babysitter cancels. Or find someone else to babysit who doesn't have plans. OP, you are NTA and you need to tell sis that you're busy looking for a post grad job and don't have time for babysitting.
JuniorCJ82 9 months ago
SHE say's YOU'RE being selfish?!?! Bahahahahahahahaha... no. Have fun on your trip.
Michelle C 9 months ago
If that were my sister I would've torn her UP! How dare she ask someone to cancel their plans so they can watch her children so her and her husband can go on vacation and probably make another one! I would NEVER babysit for her ever again, don't care the reason or if I am sitting around doing nothing.
Ineke Pronk 9 months ago
Lets be fair, the babysitter didn't cancel. The babysitter was never hired in the first place because they assume they can guild OP is staying behind.
Lowrider 56 9 months ago
I wouldn't even respond to them anymore. Block them on your phone and social media. Worked hard to be able to do this. Don't let the 'emotional vampires' win out.
Kate Johnson 9 months ago
Sorry she'll have many more anniversaries, you only have that one graduation.
Jerry Wyant 9 months ago
Your sister and her husband will have a 10th anniversary (assuming they stay together) plus an anniversary every freaking year. You, on the other hand, only graduate with a bachelor's degree ONCE (unless you become a professional student). So, who is least impacted in the long run by canceling their plans THIS time? Why it's your sister and brother-in-law. Stick to your guns. Tell them that you will be happy to watch them next year with reasonable lead time on their request, but that cancelling this time around on such short notice will cost non-refundable deposits as well as force additional financial hardships on the other students attending as part of THEIR graduation travel present to themselves. Since your sister's demands that you cancel your plans to may have financial ripple effects outside your family. As stated so many times: don't cave in. Remind your family that you didn't get your sister pregnant, therefore taking care of HER kids isn't YOUR responsibility! You GO!!
KatSaidWhat 9 months ago
I'm not sure how far that sister should f**k off but it's not far enough. Hope she enjoyed her graduation trip.
arthbach 9 months ago
The most pertinent comment above is the sister and brother in law will have another anniversary next year, whereas the graduation trip will only happen this one time. If the sister had asked nicely, she might even have been able to get have a delayed anniversary trip the following week.
Alexandra 9 months ago
A child is not a family project. It doesn't take a village: it takes just the parents. Parents should stop counting on the help of those who aren't the parents. You can ask, of course, but don't throw a tantrum if someone tells you 'no'. Your kids are not someone else's priority.
Glasofruix 9 months ago
When you don't have kids NOTHING you do is important when babysitting is involved. "Oh you've spend hundreds to thousands on your plans? Too bad you now have to cancel everything because someone with children has more important plans because kids"
Sue Ellen Bowen 9 months ago
The sister's trip is not more important than OP's. It sucks her babysitter bailed but thems the breaks.
Mary Muir 9 months ago
this isn't even high school but college graduation!! it's important! a child free anniversary weekend? No, not important; as the parents it's for them to watch their children if the babysitter cancels. Or find someone else to babysit who doesn't have plans. OP, you are NTA and you need to tell sis that you're busy looking for a post grad job and don't have time for babysitting.
JuniorCJ82 9 months ago
SHE say's YOU'RE being selfish?!?! Bahahahahahahahaha... no. Have fun on your trip.
Michelle C 9 months ago
If that were my sister I would've torn her UP! How dare she ask someone to cancel their plans so they can watch her children so her and her husband can go on vacation and probably make another one! I would NEVER babysit for her ever again, don't care the reason or if I am sitting around doing nothing.
Ineke Pronk 9 months ago
Lets be fair, the babysitter didn't cancel. The babysitter was never hired in the first place because they assume they can guild OP is staying behind.
Lowrider 56 9 months ago
I wouldn't even respond to them anymore. Block them on your phone and social media. Worked hard to be able to do this. Don't let the 'emotional vampires' win out.
Kate Johnson 9 months ago
Sorry she'll have many more anniversaries, you only have that one graduation.
Jerry Wyant 9 months ago
Your sister and her husband will have a 10th anniversary (assuming they stay together) plus an anniversary every freaking year. You, on the other hand, only graduate with a bachelor's degree ONCE (unless you become a professional student). So, who is least impacted in the long run by canceling their plans THIS time? Why it's your sister and brother-in-law. Stick to your guns. Tell them that you will be happy to watch them next year with reasonable lead time on their request, but that cancelling this time around on such short notice will cost non-refundable deposits as well as force additional financial hardships on the other students attending as part of THEIR graduation travel present to themselves. Since your sister's demands that you cancel your plans to may have financial ripple effects outside your family. As stated so many times: don't cave in. Remind your family that you didn't get your sister pregnant, therefore taking care of HER kids isn't YOUR responsibility! You GO!!
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