“Kate Was Absolutely Terrible In Her Teenager Years”: Dad Doesn’t Pay For His 23 Y.O. Daughter’s Plane Ticket But Covers The Younger Daughter’s Ticket
Interview
Every family is different despite the concept that we all go through more or less the same things. Probably a lot of us had to go through some hard times, especially when we were kids and teenagers, and we thought that our parents didn’t understand us or that we were adult enough to make our own decisions. The parent-kid relationship tends to change when we grow up, as, in a lot of cases, people realize that their parents only wanted the best for them and parents reach a point where they understand that it’s best for them to let their children go, explore the world, make mistakes and learn from them. But sometimes even when people grow up, their relationship with their parents sometimes hits a rough spot. Having this in mind, Reddit user @u/Minute-Common-6625 decided to share a situation that he had to experience which involved his 23-year-old daughter Kate. The man shared that while planning their family vacation, he asked his older daughter if she would like to join them and if so, she would need to buy her own plane ticket. While at first Kate was okay with this request, family drama ensued after she found out that her dad had booked a trip without her since he never received the required sum from her. Not knowing if what he did was right, the Reddit user decided to ask for other people’s opinions online.
More Info: Reddit
Sometimes maintaining a happy and healthy relationship with your kids can feel like a difficult challenge
Image credits: Ken Marshall (not the actual image)
The author of the post started his story by sharing that he has two daughters: 23-year-old Kate and 16-year-old Alexa. The man provided a little bit of background information about his family, revealing that his older daughter was a troubled kid, and so once she turned 18, her mom asked her to leave her house. This is why Kate then started living with her dad, Alexa, and OP’s girlfriend. He shared that now the 23-year-old works at a fast food restaurant and is saving up for her own apartment. For this reason, she lives rent-free at her dad’s house and doesn’t have to pay for any additional costs.
Reddit user revealed that his family’s peace was disrupted after his 23-year-old daughter didn’t agree to pay for her own plane ticket
Image credits: u/Minute-Commin-6625
The dad is also raising a 16-year-old, Alexa, who, as he presented, is the opposite of her half-sister Kate: she is a bright student who has a lot of extracurricular activities and is interested in many things, such as volunteering and sports. Knowing how hard she is working, the dad decided to plan a family vacation, this way honoring Alexa’s dedication. The man invited Kate too, asking her to pay for her plane ticket. The daughter agreed and so the dad then told her when he expected her to give him the money so he could book the trip. However, even after reminding her about the whole thing, OP never received the needed sum from his daughter.
The man lives with his girlfriend and two daughters, age 16 and 23
Image credits: u/Minute-Commin-6625
The man wanted to surprise his younger daughter by taking her and the whole family for a vacation
Image credits: u/Minute-Commin-6625
The man proceeded with his plan and booked the trip, sharing this news with the family over the dinner table. While Alexa was happy with the news, Kate told her dad that he would have to cancel the trip because she works on that date. The man told her that he won’t have to do that because she’s not going anyway, since she didn’t pay for her ticket. After hearing this, the argument started because the 23-year-old thought that her dad paid for her to go. However, the man didn’t see the need for this as his daughter works and could’ve paid for herself.
The man asked his older daughter if she would like to join, stating that she would have to pay for her own plane ticket
Image credits: Marco Verch Professional Photographer
The situation reached the point where OP found out that his daughter has been talking about this situation on her social media, making a TikTok video where she explained everything from her point of view that did not necessarily cover the truth. While the man’s girlfriend thinks he did the right thing by not paying, the man has now started doubting his decision, seeing how much negativity it has caused.
The man never received money from his 23-year-old daughter and proceeded to book the trip without including her
Image credits: u/Minute-Commin-6625
Bored Panda contacted the Reddit user to find out more information on the matter. The author of the post shared that he was surprised, revealing that he only posted this story as the situation didn’t allow him to sleep. Little did he know that people would get so interested in the whole story, sharing their points of view or even judgment. The man stated that he has an update on the situation; however, he did not yet want to share it, wanting things to fall back into place. He revealed that his daughter Kate has seen the post after seeing it on TikTok.
The daughter got so upset with the whole situation that she decided to share her side of the story on social media
Image credits: u/Minute-Commin-6625
The story that was shared on Reddit divided its users into two categories: those who thought that dad favored one daughter over the other and those who agreed with the dad and him wanting his adult daughter to pay for herself. Knowing that OP read these comments, we were curious to know what his thoughts on this were: “A lot of people were bringing their own personal family dramas and projecting that onto me. A lot of people assumed my daughter had autism or ADHD and said because they related to Kate and they have a mental health problem, Kate must have it too. I tend to ignore those opinions and focus on unbiased ones,” shared the Reddit user.
The man started doubting his decision and this is why he decided to ask others for help in seeing if he was right
Image credits: u/Minute-Commin-6625
To those who struggle to have a harmonious relationship with their kids, the dad explained: “In the beginning of your child’s life, you have to put in effort and give them love, support and encouragement. Once they are an adult, though, it now goes both ways. Once a child is now an adult, everything they do in their lives is their choice, you can only offer your opinion and support.”
What do you think about this situation? Don’t forget to leave your thoughts in the comments down below!
Image credits: Sascha Kohlmann (not the actual image)
The story divided users online into two groups, those who supported the dad’s decision and those who thought that he was showing favoritism
Image credits: u/Minute-Commin-6625
Sooo, Kate said she wanted to go on the trip, said she would pay. But she never paid, said she can't come since she has to work, and wanted that everyone cancels the trip. Of course she did not want to pay, it was her plan all along to cancel last minute, so there would be no refund. If it indeed had been a scheduling issue, then she would have called her dad the moment she realised she could not come. And now she's pissed that her plan backfired.
Well, not really. The favoritism in this family is so toxic, and from what I read, this father made it pretty much impossible for her to go on this trip. He is clearly using this to reward one daughter and punish the other. He didn't really ever invite her. When you read between the lines you can see a 23 year old who has never been treated like part of the family and desperately wants to be included. There are always 3 sides to a story, each person's side and the truth. We are hearing 1 side, and from just the way he described his daughter and Kate (he never called Kate his daughter, only Kate, yet only called Alexa his daughter, huge red flag) I think there is a lot more to all of this and his version is far from the truth.
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How can anyone call this man TA. He has one child who is 16 and at school and under age, and one who is a 23yr adult living with him rent and expenses free. He had the discussion well before booking the holiday with the adult, who agreed to pay. They were reminded, and still didn’t. They then tried to manipulate the situation further by setting the underage daughter to feel pressured and bullied, and even ran an essentially fake gofundme. This is entirely on the 23yr no matter how people try it spin it “because of language used” or whatever else. He has not created a “toxic situation” in the family either, she has, despite his efforts to help her by fully funding her life while she saves for a flat. It blows my mind that people turn to reddit for advice on these things, because no matter what a bunch of couch psychiatrists are going to chip in and overlay their own personal issues just to add to the drama, because that’s what they read AITA for, their daily dose of drama and to feel important by offering their “advice”.
I don't see how people can think he is NTA?! I can guarantee that "Kate's" behavior has a lot to do with the very obvious favoritism she has probably endured for a very long time, along with depression, and unresolved trauma, and being remjnded about all her failings constantly. 1st red flag, the OP always called Alexa his daughter, and Kate by just her name. 2nd red flag, the way he described them. So, Kate had a hard time in her teen years. It sounds like she needed love, stability, and therapy. Why the he did he not try and get her help? Behaviors like that don't manifest for no reason out of the blue. Also, he said she was better, so why are the times when she was having trouble, and the OP was not the primary caregiver even bringing it up. 3rd Red flag, Kate lived with her mom, but Alexa has always been with her dad, which means he is much more involved in her life. Alexa also lost her mom, which usually causes the other parent to go overboard in trying to make up for the pain the child has gone through. I mean, did you all read what I did? Just the whole way he even described them, not 1 good thjng about Kate, not 1 negative about Alexa. This is a Golden Child/Black Sheep scenerio and extremely dysfunctional. I screwed up royaly when I was 19 and had some mental health issues and didn't have the best behaviors. My sister was stable as could be and never gave them any trouble, and my brother rebelled a bit in high-school, but nothing more. yet, if they were doing a family vacation where they were paying for 1 kid, they would ALWAYS include the others. They always said they will never use family vacatios, time, or holidays as punishment. Hell, they never felt they had to punish me, the instead got me the help I needed and supported me and never made me feel less than my sister or brother, ever. I am now a successful and happy member of the worldand take them on vacation. It is amazing what fair treatment, support, and unconditional love can do instead of comparison, put downs, and favoritism. This guy is definitely TAH! And for all the "she is 23 and Alexa is 16" people, that was never really the point the OP was trying to make. He never said that "she is an adult and we expect her to pay, as we would Alexa once she was 18" this is all about rewarding one daughter with a family vacation and agreeing the other daughter could come, but only if she paid as a punishment. I mean, he didn't even really include her in the 1st place. This dad is a douche!
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It's kind of gross that this guy repeatedly refers to Alexa as "my daughter", but Kate is only ever "Kate", sometimes even in the same sentence. Kate's reaction was way out of order, and it is not unreasonable to expect an adult child to pay for a trip themselves (though less so when they are still a dependent and not expected to pay for bills or rent perhaps), but I am getting major favoritism vibes and feel like there is a reason why Kate acted out so much whilst Alexa is clearly treated like the golden child. ESH but dad most of all. He should be helping his eldest with her issues like a good parent, not continually putting her down
Kate's behavior is a product of her environment, always being second, the black sheep. I hated the way that father talked about her.
Load More Replies... Sooo, Kate said she wanted to go on the trip, said she would pay. But she never paid, said she can't come since she has to work, and wanted that everyone cancels the trip. Of course she did not want to pay, it was her plan all along to cancel last minute, so there would be no refund. If it indeed had been a scheduling issue, then she would have called her dad the moment she realised she could not come. And now she's pissed that her plan backfired.
Well, not really. The favoritism in this family is so toxic, and from what I read, this father made it pretty much impossible for her to go on this trip. He is clearly using this to reward one daughter and punish the other. He didn't really ever invite her. When you read between the lines you can see a 23 year old who has never been treated like part of the family and desperately wants to be included. There are always 3 sides to a story, each person's side and the truth. We are hearing 1 side, and from just the way he described his daughter and Kate (he never called Kate his daughter, only Kate, yet only called Alexa his daughter, huge red flag) I think there is a lot more to all of this and his version is far from the truth.
Load More Replies... How can anyone call this man TA. He has one child who is 16 and at school and under age, and one who is a 23yr adult living with him rent and expenses free. He had the discussion well before booking the holiday with the adult, who agreed to pay. They were reminded, and still didn’t. They then tried to manipulate the situation further by setting the underage daughter to feel pressured and bullied, and even ran an essentially fake gofundme. This is entirely on the 23yr no matter how people try it spin it “because of language used” or whatever else. He has not created a “toxic situation” in the family either, she has, despite his efforts to help her by fully funding her life while she saves for a flat. It blows my mind that people turn to reddit for advice on these things, because no matter what a bunch of couch psychiatrists are going to chip in and overlay their own personal issues just to add to the drama, because that’s what they read AITA for, their daily dose of drama and to feel important by offering their “advice”.
I don't see how people can think he is NTA?! I can guarantee that "Kate's" behavior has a lot to do with the very obvious favoritism she has probably endured for a very long time, along with depression, and unresolved trauma, and being remjnded about all her failings constantly. 1st red flag, the OP always called Alexa his daughter, and Kate by just her name. 2nd red flag, the way he described them. So, Kate had a hard time in her teen years. It sounds like she needed love, stability, and therapy. Why the he did he not try and get her help? Behaviors like that don't manifest for no reason out of the blue. Also, he said she was better, so why are the times when she was having trouble, and the OP was not the primary caregiver even bringing it up. 3rd Red flag, Kate lived with her mom, but Alexa has always been with her dad, which means he is much more involved in her life. Alexa also lost her mom, which usually causes the other parent to go overboard in trying to make up for the pain the child has gone through. I mean, did you all read what I did? Just the whole way he even described them, not 1 good thjng about Kate, not 1 negative about Alexa. This is a Golden Child/Black Sheep scenerio and extremely dysfunctional. I screwed up royaly when I was 19 and had some mental health issues and didn't have the best behaviors. My sister was stable as could be and never gave them any trouble, and my brother rebelled a bit in high-school, but nothing more. yet, if they were doing a family vacation where they were paying for 1 kid, they would ALWAYS include the others. They always said they will never use family vacatios, time, or holidays as punishment. Hell, they never felt they had to punish me, the instead got me the help I needed and supported me and never made me feel less than my sister or brother, ever. I am now a successful and happy member of the worldand take them on vacation. It is amazing what fair treatment, support, and unconditional love can do instead of comparison, put downs, and favoritism. This guy is definitely TAH! And for all the "she is 23 and Alexa is 16" people, that was never really the point the OP was trying to make. He never said that "she is an adult and we expect her to pay, as we would Alexa once she was 18" this is all about rewarding one daughter with a family vacation and agreeing the other daughter could come, but only if she paid as a punishment. I mean, he didn't even really include her in the 1st place. This dad is a douche!
Load More Replies... It's kind of gross that this guy repeatedly refers to Alexa as "my daughter", but Kate is only ever "Kate", sometimes even in the same sentence. Kate's reaction was way out of order, and it is not unreasonable to expect an adult child to pay for a trip themselves (though less so when they are still a dependent and not expected to pay for bills or rent perhaps), but I am getting major favoritism vibes and feel like there is a reason why Kate acted out so much whilst Alexa is clearly treated like the golden child. ESH but dad most of all. He should be helping his eldest with her issues like a good parent, not continually putting her down
Kate's behavior is a product of her environment, always being second, the black sheep. I hated the way that father talked about her.
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