“AITA For Refusing To Do My Husband’s Laundry Anymore After He Had A Go At Me After Surgery?”
Whether you live alone or with someone else, there’s always one thing waiting for you at home – laundry. It’s there on good days and bad, through thick and thin, calling your name from the laundry basket brimming with dirty clothing.
Unfortunately, laundry doesn’t care if you have health issues, which was the case with this redditor. But since she had a surgery to go through, her husband took over laundry duty. Though, the second she was back, he had comments about it. Scroll down to find the full story below.
Laundry is something that will likely be by your side for the rest of your life
Image credits: asphotostudio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
This man made a comment about laundry after his wife had just come home from surgery, which didn’t make her feel any better
Image credits: ufabizphoto / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: i_hate_my_username4
Many couples argue over who should do the chores
Image credits: rawpixel.com / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Whether we like it or not, there are always chores waiting for us. More times than not, there are dishes to be washed, laundry to be done, things to be put away, and if not that then floors to be mopped, you get the idea.
Having to constantly take care of things like that can be seriously annoying and even strain people’s relationships who live under the same roof who are also responsible for the chores piling up. However, the same people can make it easier to tackle it all, too, if the tasks are somehow shared among the residents.
A survey of adult Americans, carried out by Yelp and OnePoll, found that chores not only can but do strain the relationship of many couples living together – as much as 80% of respondents admit they have disagreements with their significant other over housework; one-fifth of the 80% say they have them often.
According to the survey, the most common causes of chore-related disagreements relate to the questions of when to do chores, how to do them, and who should do them. Seeking to avoid such disagreements—or to avoid having to do certain chores—some people go to great lengths and even lie to their partner or purposefully do a bad job at tidying up or cleaning.
Women are more likely than men to take on the responsibility of doing laundry
Image credits: krakenimages.com / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Yelp’s survey found that men are more likely than women to make an effort to get out of doing chores. So, it’s no surprise that women continue to bear more responsibility regarding the main household tasks, Gallup reports. According to said source, married or partnered heterosexual couples (in the US, at least) tend to divide chores along largely traditional lines, with the females being primarily responsible for doing the laundry (58%), cleaning the house (51%), and preparing meals (51%), while men take on the responsibilities of keeping the car in good condition (69%) and doing yardwork (59%).
Gallup revealed that while 58% of respondents say that laundry is usually taken care of by the woman in their household, 13% say it’s the man who braves the laundry basket more often, and 28% tackle it as a team. Be that as it may, for many people—male and female—doing the laundry is not that big of a burden; some might even enjoy it. According to the American Cleaning Institute’s (ACI) 2019 National Cleaning Survey, laundry is the cleaning task Americans enjoy doing the most (followed by cleaning countertops, vacuuming, and doing dishes, respectively).
It’s unclear whether or not the OP or her husband enjoys doing the laundry, but it has to be taken care of, nevertheless. And while it is usually the OP that does it in their family (as she shared in the comments under the post), her husband took over when she had the surgery, which was followed by him making a comment that split netizens into camps about the situation.
The woman provided more details in the comments
Many netizens didn’t think the woman was a jerk in the situation
Some people believed that everyone involved was a jerk
Some redditors took the husband’s side
Poll Question
Thanks! Check out the results:
Everyone's hung up on the shirt issue, whereas I'm seeing a bigger problem. She's not only in pain, she's recovering from the anesthesia. So, already not in the best frame of mind, nor memory. At this time he chose to tell her to stop doing something she's not exactly remembering she has done, but then accepts she has and then recalls last year she was told by him is okay to do. He's well aware how mentally and physically vulnerable she is. He couldn't bring it up before her surgery, or remind her? "I don't mean to have a go at you" is equivalent to "I don't mean to sound rude but..." You know this is their way to have a pass to start something. I've been in this type of manipulative relationship, so I know what it sounds like. She's being gaslit. (I know it's an overused word, but it is appropriate in this situation.)
He should have said something a long time ago but didn't, leading me to believe that he may have been the one to actually do it. He's just blaming her because he has to cover for her while she heals. Most men with a stay at home maid don't like that.
Load More Replies..."Why the f**k would you bring that up right now?" is what OP should have said, instead of sorry.
I am appalled that we are even talking about the viability of the shirts. Gallblader removal is a life-changing surgery. What she eats or drinks from now on, for the rest of her life, will be heavily affected. Also the pain and discomfort which leads to someone needing this surgery is extreme! The word "shirts" shouldn't have been mentioned in that household for at least three months post-surgery. And she even apologized??
Meh, if i understand correctly she was home same day as surgery and likely on oxycodine or at least a heavy painkiller. If he has a lick of sense he will realise his mistake in having any such conversation at that time and apologise or communicate calmly in the following days to move past it.
OP is probably in pain due to the painkillers wearing off, she is valid for feeling upset when someone brings up an issue that can wait till after recovery time. If this was so important to him, then he should do it himself so it comes out the way he likes it.
Yes, he's an AH for bringing it up right then, but other than that WGAF!
N also lol football shirts re replaceable ! your wife IS NOT LOOK AFTER HER op plz show this to him lol
I’m From the uk n female lol n 60 and trust me poxy football shirts can be tumble dried in fact I’ve always put everything I wash in the dryer even dry clean only …have I ever had issues NO ! so his s**t given your surgery was uncalled for end off if he doesn’t like em being in the Dryer wash them yourself dude ! n look after your wife n learn to read the room simples Blessed be op I hope your doing ok now. Xx
I doubt if there is anyone on earth who does laundry and hasn't messed something up by accident at one point or other. It happens. I'd apologize for the shirt and for being snappy and say it's because I was feeling wretched when you brought it up. And point out that he's also made laundry mistakes, so he should not be judgmental about it. Then let it go. I don't get the impression he's a bad person, he was just being a bit thoughtless.
Everybody Needs to Reread What OP Actually Wrote,it Wasn't About The D**n Shirt,it Was About His Absolute S**t Timing,The Husband's The AH,&,Needs to Man The F up,&,do His Own Laundry
I don't know what "have a go" means but if it's anything other than asking a simple question in the appropriate context then you might be wrong.
It was a badly timed comment but valid. But leave it to Reddit to make a mountain out of a molehill.
NYBS. Not your best self. Either of them. They were both stressed - her recovering from surgery and him from single-parenting three kids plus house chore catchup while she was at the hospital. They were both snippy but otherwise from the info given seems like a good relationship. If they can, they should both apologize and get on with the good work of being married with kids.
And anyone who says he should just suck it up is talking out of both sides of their mouth - being the single person responsible for three kids while anxious about a loved one in surgery and taking care of house stuff is a reasonable reason to be stressed.
Load More Replies...There are times when one has to say something that is on one's mind, regardless of the situation. Men tend to deal only with what's on the top of their list. Sometimes it's also a way of deflecting any feelings and not facing what might be possible. It happens but it's something that a strong relationship should be able to move past. Some people just don't deal well with illness in their partner, especially if it's serious - this could just be a subconscious way of trying to get back to normal.
I would if I could but I live here. I hope everyone around the world does. We deserve it! Edit: A World Cup boycott would be amazing!
Load More Replies...Everyone's hung up on the shirt issue, whereas I'm seeing a bigger problem. She's not only in pain, she's recovering from the anesthesia. So, already not in the best frame of mind, nor memory. At this time he chose to tell her to stop doing something she's not exactly remembering she has done, but then accepts she has and then recalls last year she was told by him is okay to do. He's well aware how mentally and physically vulnerable she is. He couldn't bring it up before her surgery, or remind her? "I don't mean to have a go at you" is equivalent to "I don't mean to sound rude but..." You know this is their way to have a pass to start something. I've been in this type of manipulative relationship, so I know what it sounds like. She's being gaslit. (I know it's an overused word, but it is appropriate in this situation.)
He should have said something a long time ago but didn't, leading me to believe that he may have been the one to actually do it. He's just blaming her because he has to cover for her while she heals. Most men with a stay at home maid don't like that.
Load More Replies..."Why the f**k would you bring that up right now?" is what OP should have said, instead of sorry.
I am appalled that we are even talking about the viability of the shirts. Gallblader removal is a life-changing surgery. What she eats or drinks from now on, for the rest of her life, will be heavily affected. Also the pain and discomfort which leads to someone needing this surgery is extreme! The word "shirts" shouldn't have been mentioned in that household for at least three months post-surgery. And she even apologized??
Meh, if i understand correctly she was home same day as surgery and likely on oxycodine or at least a heavy painkiller. If he has a lick of sense he will realise his mistake in having any such conversation at that time and apologise or communicate calmly in the following days to move past it.
OP is probably in pain due to the painkillers wearing off, she is valid for feeling upset when someone brings up an issue that can wait till after recovery time. If this was so important to him, then he should do it himself so it comes out the way he likes it.
Yes, he's an AH for bringing it up right then, but other than that WGAF!
N also lol football shirts re replaceable ! your wife IS NOT LOOK AFTER HER op plz show this to him lol
I’m From the uk n female lol n 60 and trust me poxy football shirts can be tumble dried in fact I’ve always put everything I wash in the dryer even dry clean only …have I ever had issues NO ! so his s**t given your surgery was uncalled for end off if he doesn’t like em being in the Dryer wash them yourself dude ! n look after your wife n learn to read the room simples Blessed be op I hope your doing ok now. Xx
I doubt if there is anyone on earth who does laundry and hasn't messed something up by accident at one point or other. It happens. I'd apologize for the shirt and for being snappy and say it's because I was feeling wretched when you brought it up. And point out that he's also made laundry mistakes, so he should not be judgmental about it. Then let it go. I don't get the impression he's a bad person, he was just being a bit thoughtless.
Everybody Needs to Reread What OP Actually Wrote,it Wasn't About The D**n Shirt,it Was About His Absolute S**t Timing,The Husband's The AH,&,Needs to Man The F up,&,do His Own Laundry
I don't know what "have a go" means but if it's anything other than asking a simple question in the appropriate context then you might be wrong.
It was a badly timed comment but valid. But leave it to Reddit to make a mountain out of a molehill.
NYBS. Not your best self. Either of them. They were both stressed - her recovering from surgery and him from single-parenting three kids plus house chore catchup while she was at the hospital. They were both snippy but otherwise from the info given seems like a good relationship. If they can, they should both apologize and get on with the good work of being married with kids.
And anyone who says he should just suck it up is talking out of both sides of their mouth - being the single person responsible for three kids while anxious about a loved one in surgery and taking care of house stuff is a reasonable reason to be stressed.
Load More Replies...There are times when one has to say something that is on one's mind, regardless of the situation. Men tend to deal only with what's on the top of their list. Sometimes it's also a way of deflecting any feelings and not facing what might be possible. It happens but it's something that a strong relationship should be able to move past. Some people just don't deal well with illness in their partner, especially if it's serious - this could just be a subconscious way of trying to get back to normal.
I would if I could but I live here. I hope everyone around the world does. We deserve it! Edit: A World Cup boycott would be amazing!
Load More Replies...











































22
28