Woman Refuses To Give Back Gift To BF’s Daughter After She Refused To Accept It

Christmas is more about the people and less about the presents. But when you’re spending it with those you don’t know very well, getting them something nice can be a good way to show you’re willing to make a connection.

Reddit user Crimsoncheez shared a story about spending the holidays with her boyfriend and his two daughters. The woman said she hoped a necklace might help bridge the gap with his older girl. However, the thirteen-year-old rejected it.

That may have been the end of it, but later, the teen asked for it back. The woman felt she was being ungrateful and decided to keep the gift for herself. The two of them got into an argument, and with her conviction shaken, the Redditor asked the internet for an outside opinion on whether she was right or not. Here’s what she wrote.

Dating someone with kids can be tricky

Teen girl in purple hoodie sitting on floor looking thoughtful, reflecting on dad's girlfriend and gift regret.

Image credits: irinapavlova1 / Envato (not the actual photo)

Especially around the holidays

Text excerpt about 13-year-old disliking dad's girlfriend and regret over not accepting her gift due to rude behavior issues.

Text excerpt about boyfriend, ex sharing custody, and a 10-year-old happy with gift, related to 13YO hating dad's girlfriend.

Teen regrets not accepting dad’s girlfriend’s gift after rude behavior and refusing to apologize for it.

Teen girl regrets not accepting dad’s girlfriend’s gift after rude behavior, reflecting on their strained relationship.

Text excerpt showing a 13-year-old rejecting dad's girlfriend's gift, reflecting on rude behavior and regret.

Text discussing a 13-year-old refusing to accept a gift from dad's girlfriend due to her rude behavior and regrets.

Later, the woman updated her post and said she will try to make up with the teen

Teen 13YO upset over dad's girlfriend rude behavior and regrets not accepting her gift, no apology given.

Text discussing experiences-based gifts and regrets over giving a proper gift amid 13YO hating dad's girlfriend situation.

Close-up of a person wearing a necklace, symbolizing a gift from dad's girlfriend with underlying family tension.

Image credits: Satura_ / Envato (not the actual photo)

Text on white background saying I realise that I did not handle this in the best way, reflecting regret about dad’s girlfriend situation.

Text discussing a 13-year-old explaining feelings about dad's girlfriend and reflecting on accepting her gift and behavior.

Text about dealing with dad’s girlfriend and regrets for not accepting her gift after rude behavior.

Image credits: Crimsoncheez

Why teens in blended families often struggle with gifts and attention at Christmas

What makes this time of year so difficult is that members of a stepfamily often bring a lot of differences — from the “right” things to put on a Christmas tree to whether to have a tree at all.

Meanwhile, they are also working on new ways to celebrate together, and that’s not an easy task. While adults may be excited about this period, children may feel grief or even guilt as they handle the realities of their new families.

Psychologist Dr. Patricia Papernow has been working with blended families for roughly five decades.

“So often going into the holidays, the new couple in a stepfamily is looking for a first-time family-like holiday where ‘we’re all happy and we’re all together.’ But as I often explain, navigating a stepfamily with a map of a first-time family is a bit like driving on the LA Freeway with a map of Indianapolis. Stepfamilies and first-time families are very different,” she explains.

According to Papernow, the adults in the stepfamily are excited to have found each other and to be “making a new family.: But they are often quite unaware of the experience for kids.

For children, a new stepfamily often highlights the loss of their first-time family and enforces the distance from one side of their family. Because of this, the holidays can feel like a boatload of overwhelming change.

“Close warm parent-child relationships are key for children’s well-being. But study after study tells us that when parents recouple, children lose parental time and attention. So, at the very moment that the adults are feeling the gift of a new relationship, kids are often feeling alone and lonely,” the psychologist says.

Instead of adding pressure, the adults should reduce it. And instead of running away from the past, it’s healthy to embrace it.

“The first step is to turn toward the loss. The most regulating thing for humans when we’re upset is another human who fully gets it,” Papernow says. “Often parents feel pulled to say, ‘But this is your home. Just join in!’ That’s not helpful. It leaves kids even more alone.”

“What children need is, ‘Wow. This sounds hard. Tell me more.’ And then full on, present listening. If you don’t know what to say, mirror back what you do understand,” she adds.

The fact that the Redditor didn’t hear much from the thirteen-year-old is also pretty standard. “Often, kids do not have language for this experience. Sometimes, … they don’t find that language to express how they are feeling until they are adults. So, very often, parents or stepparents need to start these conversations. If you’re a parent (or a stepparent) with a visiting child, turn toward this child in a moment when you’re alone and say, ‘I’m aware that, you have to come in as an outsider into this family. I’ll bet that’s tough sometimes. Help me understand what that’s like for you.'”

The woman provided a bit more information in the comments section

Screenshot of Reddit conversation discussing age and sibling-like relationship with a stepmother figure in a casual tone.

Commenters discussing a 13-year-old's struggles with dad's girlfriend and regrets over rejecting her rude behavior gift.

Some of the people who read the story said her reaction was completely justified

Comment advising on handling a 13-year-old’s refusal of dad’s girlfriend’s gift to build a positive relationship.

Commenter advising setting boundaries with rude dad's girlfriend over gift acceptance and handling disrespectful behavior firmly.

Comment explaining 13YO’s struggles with dad’s girlfriend and regret over not accepting her gift due to rude behavior.

Reddit comment discussing a 13-year-old’s tension with dad’s girlfriend and regret over not accepting her gift.

Screenshot of an online comment discussing a 13-year-old's conflict with dad's girlfriend over rude behavior and a refused gift.

Comment discussing a 13-year-old's conflict with dad's girlfriend and regret over not accepting her rude gift behavior.

Comment discussing a 13-year-old’s conflict with dad’s girlfriend over rude behavior and an unaccepted gift.

And some believe nobody did anything wrong — it’s just a tricky situation

Advice on handling 13-year-old who hates dad's girlfriend and regrets not accepting her gift after rude behavior.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a 13-year-old hating dad's girlfriend and regretting not accepting her gift.

Comment suggesting a 13-year-old should be talked to about her dad's girlfriend's rude behavior before accepting a gift.

Others, however, felt that everyone was overreacting

Comment discussing a 13-year-old girl's struggle with emotions and issues with dad's girlfriend's gift.

Screenshot of an online comment discussing regrets about rejecting dad’s girlfriend’s gift and her rude behavior.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a 13-year-old's strained relationship with dad’s girlfriend and gift refusal regret.

Comment discussing teenager's rude behavior and the importance of accepting dad's girlfriend's gift after apology.

Comment discussing a 13-year-old's conflict with dad’s girlfriend and regrets about not accepting a gift.

Or that it was the woman who mishandled things

Online advice post about a 13-year-old struggling to accept dad’s girlfriend and her rude behavior.

Comment discussing a 13-year-old's regrets about not accepting dad's girlfriend’s rude gift and behavior.

Comment discussing a 13-year-old's regret over not accepting dad's girlfriend's gift and her rude behavior.

Comment discussing a 13-year-old’s conflict with dad’s girlfriend and regret over not accepting her gift.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a 13-year-old hating dad’s girlfriend and regretting not accepting her gift.

Comment discussing a 13-year-old’s conflict with dad’s girlfriend and missed chance to accept a gift and build trust.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a 13-year-old’s issues with dad’s girlfriend and a rejected gift apology.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a teenager’s refusal to accept a gift from dad’s girlfriend and related family boundaries.

Screenshot of an online forum post discussing a 13-year-old's distrust and regret involving dad's girlfriend and a gift.

Comment discussing a 13-year-old's resentment toward dad's girlfriend and regret over not accepting her gift.

Screenshot of a forum comment discussing a 13YO's conflict with dad's girlfriend and issues around rude behavior and gift refusal.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a 13-year-old who dislikes dad’s girlfriend and regrets not accepting her gift.

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