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Mom Treats Everyone In Family As Free Babysitters Because It’s Her “Village”, Gets A Reality Check
Mom Treats Everyone In Family As Free Babysitters Because It’s Her “Village”, Gets A Reality Check
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Mom Treats Everyone In Family As Free Babysitters Because It’s Her “Village”, Gets A Reality Check

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“It takes a village to raise a child” is one of those ideas that folks throw around but few really make work. However, if you have a kid and family nearby, it’s not at all weird to ask for a little help now and then. But, as with everything, there are folks who just end up taking it way too far and making demands that border on unreasonable.

A man asked the internet if he was wrong to refuse his cousin’s last minute babysitting request, after she claimed it was ok because he was “part of her village.” We reached out to the man who posted the story via private message and will update the article when he gets back to us.

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    It’s nice to have family nearby to help with childcare

    Man and woman having a serious conversation on a couch, highlighting family dynamics and reality check.

    Image credits: drobotdean / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    But some folks end up asking for too much or refusing to take a “no” as an answer

    Text discussing a mother treating family as free babysitters, leading to a family conflict over childcare expectations.

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    Text saying someone is attending a wrestling show, their first in two years, and meeting a friend after the same period.

    Mom in red dress, sitting on a couch, gently stroking a child's hair, Christmas decor in the background.

    Image credits: stockking / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    Text message criticizing mom for treating family as free babysitters, highlighting misuse of "village" concept.

    Image credits: Anonymous

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    For a new parent, having people around to help is a pretty big boon

    Despite almost being a cliche at this point, there actually isn’t a lot of evidence as to where the idea of “it takes a village” comes from. NPR attempted to pin it down, but was ultimately unsuccessful. Like many proverbs, it’s one of those ideas that just gets passed down, often orally, meaning that in the long run it’s nearly impossible to know where exactly it came from.

    If you are unfamiliar with it, simply put, it refers to the idea that, to successfully raise a child, just a parent (or two) often isn’t enough, the kid needs to grow up in a healthy environment, where it can interact with all sorts of people outside of the house. It also points to the general importance of a good support network and community.

    After all, if you live in a place where you like and trust your neighbors, chances are it’s a good place to raise a family. It’s also good for parents who, like most people out there, have jobs. Babysitting can be expensive, as we see in this story, so it’s helpful to have friends and family around who can pitch in.

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    Demanding free childcare is just entitled behavior

    Young boy with clasped hands sitting on a gray sofa, highlighting family village dynamics.

    Image credits: nastyaofly / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    However, this doesn’t mean that having some friends and family nearby means you can outsource parental duties at a whim. As this man indicates, the real issue is that there was no warning. We don’t exactly know what his approach to babysitting is, but the fact that he already had plans he paid for should be an indication that he isn’t available. Some folks simply do not understand what they can and can’t ask people to do.

    The cousin isn’t exactly wrong, perhaps her family member is part of her “village” but this doesn’t actually entitle her to some special treatment. Asking for babysitting is fine, demanding it regardless of circumstances is not. In general, family can help, but they can’t be treated as an endless fountain of labor and free stuff. It’s telling that the main point of criticism leveled against the man was that he was perhaps rude in how he responded.

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    After all, he was not wrong to refuse, but it wasn’t perhaps necessary to say the things he did, even if he believed them. At the very least, his words might ensure that he is never asked to babysit again, although at the cost of perhaps cutting ties entirely. Unfortunately, he doesn’t provide an update, so we can only speculate.

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    Most thought he was being reasonable

    Comment criticizing a mom for treating family as free babysitters with child.

    Text from an online comment discussing family dynamics and babysitting responsibilities.

    Comment critiques a mom for expecting free babysitting, stating it's not their responsibility.

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    Comment about mom using family as babysitters and facing reality check.

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    Text comment on family dynamics and misuse of "village" for babysitting.

    Text from a forum discussing a mom expecting family babysitting help, critique on responsibility.

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    Text discusses village parenting concept, mother's entitlement, and a family reality check on childcare responsibilities.

    Text comment discussing family dynamics and entitlement with a humorous tone.

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    Comment criticizing a mom for treating family as free babysitters, advising gratitude instead.

    Text post discussing parenting, criticizing a mom who treats family as free babysitters in the name of "village" support.

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    Reddit comment criticizing a mom's "village" approach to free babysitting.

    Comment on a family member being used as a free babysitter and finding the need to set boundaries.

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    A comment discusses a mom expecting free babysitting from family, facing criticism for her childcare approach.

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    Text post about family not expecting free childcare, emphasizing responsibilities and mutual support.

    Text post discussing family, entitlement, and contributing to a village by respecting boundaries.

    Comment criticizing the idea of using family as free babysitters, emphasizing parental responsibility.

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    Screenshot of a comment about family babysitting dynamics and expectations.

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    Comment about being used as "village" babysitters, expressing refusal to comply.

    Comment on parenting responsibility in a Reddit thread.

    A few though he did go a bit too far

    Text comment discussing boundaries and personal respect within a family or community setting.

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    Comment on free babysitting request, mentioning tact in rejecting family help.

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    Text discussion about family babysitting obligations and assertive communication.

    "Reddit comment expressing criticism on using family as free babysitters.

    Text discussing using family as babysitters and handling boundaries assertively.

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    Comment discussing empathy and response dynamics in family babysitting expectations.

    Comment on using family as free babysitters, highlights having plans.

    Text discussing a mom's use of family for babysitting, emphasizing the importance of communication in the village approach.

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    Justin Sandberg

    Justin Sandberg

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    I am a writer at Bored Panda. Despite being born in the US, I ended up spending most of my life in Europe, from Latvia, Austria, and Georgia to finally settling in Lithuania. At Bored Panda, you’ll find me covering topics ranging from the cat meme of the day to red flags in the workplace and really anything else. In my free time, I enjoy hiking, beating other people at board games, cooking, good books, and bad films.

    Read less »
    Justin Sandberg

    Justin Sandberg

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    I am a writer at Bored Panda. Despite being born in the US, I ended up spending most of my life in Europe, from Latvia, Austria, and Georgia to finally settling in Lithuania. At Bored Panda, you’ll find me covering topics ranging from the cat meme of the day to red flags in the workplace and really anything else. In my free time, I enjoy hiking, beating other people at board games, cooking, good books, and bad films.

    What do you think ?
    LonelyLittleLeafSheep
    Community Member
    11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Those YTA's should offer their free babysitting services and feel free to give up their own lives for someone else's offspring. Not my circus, not my monkeys.

    BlackestDawn
    Community Member
    11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, because for people like the sister a simple "no" is just an invitation for more arguments and/or guilt-tripping. Sometimes you have to behave like an a**e to get it through their thick skulls.

    Load More Replies...
    Mark Childers
    Community Member
    11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I see so many posts like this. I would like to think that birth control (on both of their parts) and abortion (or what's left of it in this incoming godforsaken administration) that scarerios like this would never happen.

    Nikole
    Community Member
    11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Agreed about the options (and the forthcoming lack of options), but shít happens sometimes. And maybe the cousin was in a committed relationship with the father and she wanted the child, but he split shortly after the birth. That being said, she is acting completely entitled.

    Load More Replies...
    Load More Comments
    LonelyLittleLeafSheep
    Community Member
    11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Those YTA's should offer their free babysitting services and feel free to give up their own lives for someone else's offspring. Not my circus, not my monkeys.

    BlackestDawn
    Community Member
    11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, because for people like the sister a simple "no" is just an invitation for more arguments and/or guilt-tripping. Sometimes you have to behave like an a**e to get it through their thick skulls.

    Load More Replies...
    Mark Childers
    Community Member
    11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I see so many posts like this. I would like to think that birth control (on both of their parts) and abortion (or what's left of it in this incoming godforsaken administration) that scarerios like this would never happen.

    Nikole
    Community Member
    11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Agreed about the options (and the forthcoming lack of options), but shít happens sometimes. And maybe the cousin was in a committed relationship with the father and she wanted the child, but he split shortly after the birth. That being said, she is acting completely entitled.

    Load More Replies...
    Load More Comments
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