“Forced Me To Bend Over Until My Face Smashed The Cake”: Man Shocked GF Broke Up With Him
Interview With AuthorNormally, getting some food on your “nice clothes” or even face at a more important event can be somewhat mortifying. However, at the same time, there are people out there, particularly men, who truly think getting cake all over their girlfriends or even wife’s face is the pinnacle of comedy.
A woman asked the internet if she was wrong to not apologize for slapping her boyfriend after he smashed a cake into her face on his birthday. We got in touch with the woman who made the post and she was kind enough to share a few more details.
Smashing someone’s face into a cake on their birthday should be a faux pas
Image credits: Ladanifer / Envato (not the actual photo)
So one woman was mortified when her boyfriend did exactly that
Image credits: Image by Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Image by Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Known_Initiative7193
Humans have a weird relationship hitting folks with cake
Image credits: wayhomestudio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Bored Panda got in touch with the woman who shared the post and she was kind enough to share some more details. We wanted to know if there were any more updates. “Not really. I blocked him. My best friend saw his FB posts trying to justify what he did and acting like a victim.” We were also curious to learn if she found any of the reader responses useful. “The comments that I found most helpful were those about gaslighting and DARVO. I want to say that this was a serious relationship, where his mom never really liked me. I carried most of the financial burden when we went out and helped him pay bills when he was out of a job. So his disrespect hurt me a lot because he traded our history for cheap laughs.”
While most folks have probably heard (or perhaps even seen) the somewhat dumb trend of the happy couple at a wedding smashing cake into each other’s faces, there are also older traditions involving birthday cakes. For example, in Mexico, one might encounter “La Mordida” (meaning, “the bite”) at a birthday party. As one can probably guess, this involves the person whose birthday it is getting their face pushed into a cake.
Its origins are unclear, but there are somewhat similar traditions dating back to the ancient world. Ancient Romans would break up a cake made of barley over the bride’s head for good luck. The couple would then also eat some of the crumbs. However, importantly, this cake was more of a sacrificial dish and wasn’t, ostensibly, what the guests were supposed to enjoy later. The entire rite, rather darkly, was about male domination and fertility.
Much later, 17th century traditions would see the bride toss a piece of cake over her head also in pursuit of good fortune. There was a Yorkshire variation of this where the cake would have incisions that were not fully cut, so the groom could break it over the bride’s head. Why all of these weddings involve the bride seeking good luck and the groom striking her with food is anyone’s guess.
However, ultimately, it’s not at all hard to understand why a person would not want any of this to happen to them, particularly at their own wedding or birthday. It’s important to note that she described her appearance and makeup. Those things are neither that easy, nor cheap. People want to look good at their birthday, it’s simple. Ruining it with cake (and ruining the cake one paid for) is a bad idea.
But it should be obvious that no one wants to be covered in cake
Image credits: Image by Freepik (not the actual photo)
One can debate whether or not slapping him was appropriate, but it’s worth noting that she actively resisted and he insisted. This is physical force being applied, even if it doesn’t “seem” as bad as a slap. At worst, her response was directly proportionate to what he did. The mom being “humiliated” is ridiculous because everyone just saw her son forcibly push a woman’s face into a cake. This wouldn’t be “funny” even if he was six years old, much less a grown adult man.
Him thinking “she never loved him” is similarly ridiculous and is just a smokescreen for him not being able to accept the consequences of his own actions. The fact that he used force on his own girlfriend for a deeply dumb prank is a pretty good reason to never trust him again, yet this doesn’t seem to have clicked with him at all.
The fact that he tried to blame her for his family “hating” her is just a red flag. Despite, apparently, being sorry, he has not tried to convince them that ultimately he did something dumb and bad. She quite correctly realized that his behavior is pretty indicative of who he is and how he’ll continue to behave. This is a glimpse of her future and the fact that he thought this was a good idea and didn’t immediately apologize is very telling.
The idea that because he paid for this cake, he can do this is similarly absurd. He should try that at his next dinner, take whatever he ordered and throw it at another guest. No doubt “I paid for it” won’t go over well at all. At the very least, hopefully this can be a warning for anyone planning a similar prank that it really won’t end up being anything close to funny.
Most, understandably, thought she wasn’t wrong to be angry
A few seemed adamant that a slap was too much
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The YTA ppl are at it again with their insane ways of thinking. OP defended herself while SHE was in the midst of being assaulted! Do all the YTA ppl forget that she slapped him AFTER his SECOND (and successful) attempt to smash cake into her face (where he started assaulting her first)?!?!?! And OP needs to apologize to boyfriend's precious mommy?!?! These readers are absolutely delusional!!!
It's already unacceptable to smash a cake into someone's face at weddings (when the heck did that stupid "tradition" even begin) but to push someone's face into a birthday cake? Completely unacceptable! The woman was perfectly justified in slapping that asshōle. (And those YTAs are complete idiots, as usual.)
Sure, I'd apologize to his mom. "I'm sorry you raised an AH for a son who hasn't outgrown his frat boy mentality."
I'm sorry you raised a son who thinks it is okay to physically overpower a smaller person, yet is too much of a wimp to withstand a dramatic face slap.
Load More Replies...A rack to the nuts would also have been warranted...
Load More Replies...YTA fuggnuts, I'd like to smash your face into concrete cakes if I get a hold of your sorry behinds, literal concrete, mind you. You're telling me a grown-*ss man like Charlie Boy still find fun in doing (seriously, I fail to see how this is fun) juvenile *ssault like face-caking??? Even if I weren't OP, I'd be inclined to Forearm Smash him in the face since he likes to be aggressive for laughs. Plus, I'd be more inclined to believe that the "depression" Charlie Boy's equally sh*tter mum is suffering from is likely self-diagnosed. Sorry, but I'm inclined to believe anyone with depression wouldn't allow others to suffer as such. And demanding an apology from OP??? I'd happily smash his face into said concrete cakes as well, then apologize for it and some more because I cannot do that multiple times. OP ought to put as much distance between herself and that fruitcake excuse of a family, let alone marry into them. SMH!!! >:-(
You should be an author. You’d make me laugh every day
Load More Replies..."But it's just a harmless joke"! Harmless literally means no one gets hurt. This woman was physically forced into a situation she was trying to resist and felt hurt and humiliated afterwards. Does this sound "harmless"? Good on her for slâpping that mòron. His mother should be ashamed that she raised a troglodyte instead of demanding her to apologize for defending herself.
Haha, if it had been me it would have ended with more than a ridiculous slap in the face for my partner. What an idiot to do something like that and think it's a simple joke. My guess is that someone in his family gave him the idea. I mean, the man is 38, you should know better than that.
They're both in their 30's he's two years shy of 40 wtf? I would be annoyed if it was a teen, but as a grown adult it's genuinely disturbing, does he realize that this, especially with her clearly fighting back is a*****t? Just because there's a cake and not a body of water he's pressing her face in doesn't make it ok or funny.
He wouldn’t have done that to another guy, because he knew what he would get.
What is wrong with people? I don't get the cake smooshing thing, and don't think I every will. Cake is for eating, not ramming into people's faces. I find it incredibly disrespectful that someone would actually consider doing this. OP was well within her rights to act how she did, and her (hopefully now ex) BF was bang out of order, and his mother needs to have a massive attitude adjustment as well. I have re-read SuspiciousCricket334's reply and I am firmly of the opinion they they need to see a cranial proctologist ASAP, because it is very clear their head needs removing from their a**e...
I agree. Like, not only are you being a jerkwad of the highest order by @SSAULTING YOUR WIFE, you’re wasting cake…
Load More Replies...I'm so glad this isn't a thing where I'm from. How did a*****t and public humiliation become a thing? Like seriously. And I mean I don't want to be the one who makes everything about the patriarchy, but you just *know* this s**t wasn't invented by a woman.
For those of you not on Reddit, the YTAs got BURIED on this one. It was hysterical to watch.
Bullies always try to get away with bullying by claiming that "it was a joke."
No one even got to eat cake since this t w a t b a s k e t was only looking for a way to amuse himself and his family. She is justified in her reaction.
He’s lucky all he got was a slap! My knee jerk reaction is just that! Usually about the level of a man’s groin…
What's unacceptable is the fact he thought this was OK in the first place, his reaction to the retaliation and his Mother's input in all of this. Instead of calling out her son's behaviour she ignores that and attacks the victim for retaliating. His family dynamics are just off. The author needs to take this as the wake up call it is.
"When you invited one of the 3 Stooges to your birthday party..."
They were professionals, and that slapstick was timed and choreographed. This overgrown frat boy is just an a-b-u-s-e-r in sheep's clothing.
Load More Replies...I'm glad OP recognized her worth and dumped his sorry a**! So many women just accept that kind of behavior and when they finally realize there's a couple of kids involved.
He’s lucky you only slapped him, if it was e I would’ve made him a eunuch before I was done.
Manchild, is what he is. She dogded a bullet there. Some people cant seem to understand that people dont have the same type of humor. I have a fairly dark sence of humor and its not for everyone. I dont joke like that unless i know the person really well and know they are up for it. Its all about respecting people’s boundaries.
She was assaulted, and the slap was self defense. People saying YTA are probably abusers themselves.
Also worth noting - sometimes multi-layer cakes have wooden or plastic rods inside them for support. This could hurt someone's eyes.
THIS SO FREAKING MUCH!!! I do not know how many times I have seen professional bakeries explain that tall cakes have essentially food safe reo bars in them, and it is incredibly dangerous to just even cut into the cake without knowing where the supports are located in the cake. Smashing faces into wedding cakes or other multi layer cakes is a quick way to blind someone. Wonder if the manbaby and his smother would have still been bleating "she was violent it was just a joke" if there had been a skewer in there that he pushed her eye into
Load More Replies...The YTA claims SHE committed domestic abuse? He physically assaulted her in order to publicly humiliate her. That's "domestic abuse", slapping him is called "self defense". Men like this only escalate. She's lucky to get out before she married him. And don't get me started on his beotch of a mother.
That's not a boyfriend, that's an EX-boyfriend. It's also felony a*****t! Call the cops!
That last YTA is either the man-baby himself, or it's the biotch who welped him.
"Just a joke" is what bullies say when they get caught out and don't want to man up and apologize. He's 38 and acts like that? Oy, he needs some time in a hut far, far away from the rest of us to contemplete the idiocy of his actions. OK, maybe he can take his mother.
If the joke was that funny, why didn’t he let his mother in on the fun and smash her face into the cake?
Load More Replies...You should send the AH the bill it cost you for the blouse, eyelashes, and eyebrows you just had ruined!
It was a joke when he started to move her toward the cake. It ceased being a joke when she fought the process and he continued anyway. It degraded into full on abuse when he tried to do it a second time and smeared the cake into her hair. If he had immediately pulled back and apologized that it was just a joke I could see it but he turned into abuse.
The one with YTA should get a whole cake shoved in face, hair, clothes. See how it feels. Some cakes have plastic sticks to make the cake more steady, she lucky this cake didn't have one in it.
You can still report him to the police and have him charged for a*****t. The slap means nothing - you have the right to defend yourself. Tell him and his mother that. It seems he was very angry that he had to make an effort and wanted to punish you. Block him and never see him again.
I would not have stopped at a slap. I would have been pounding the c**p out of him until my real friends pulled me away from the scene. And by the way, his mom SHOULD feel humiliated because she is the one who raised that jacka$$.
This a*****e w@nker is lucky she was not the stabby type but that is probably why he chose her in the first place. He was looking for someone he could overpower when he wanted. We see a lot of those types of "relationships" coming in through the DV intake. "He" is a massive jacked gymbro with a roid rage fuelled narcissistic entitlement issue and is constantly looking for slights from smaller opponents so they can bash someone, win, and feel better about themselves. "She" is usually half the size, if not smaller, and younger so he can intimidate her just by looming over her and it makes him feel like his tiny button mushroom is huge when he insists on sh@gging
What he did was a*****t and she defended herself. Good riddance to obvious rubbish.
YTAH's are IDIOT's on this one! (Nothing new.)
Load More Replies...The thing is he assaulted her first, the slap was self defense. He pushed her down while she tried to resist, he overpowered her physically and pushed her down. That IS asŝault. The slap was self defense, as it would have been if the situation was reversed and she somehow managed to overpower him physically.
Load More Replies...I'm so sorry that you have had such a twisted upbringing that you believe that having your head forcefully pushed down into food is just some funny tradition and not genuinely a*****t. There's nothing loving about physical bullying.
Load More Replies...The YTA ppl are at it again with their insane ways of thinking. OP defended herself while SHE was in the midst of being assaulted! Do all the YTA ppl forget that she slapped him AFTER his SECOND (and successful) attempt to smash cake into her face (where he started assaulting her first)?!?!?! And OP needs to apologize to boyfriend's precious mommy?!?! These readers are absolutely delusional!!!
It's already unacceptable to smash a cake into someone's face at weddings (when the heck did that stupid "tradition" even begin) but to push someone's face into a birthday cake? Completely unacceptable! The woman was perfectly justified in slapping that asshōle. (And those YTAs are complete idiots, as usual.)
Sure, I'd apologize to his mom. "I'm sorry you raised an AH for a son who hasn't outgrown his frat boy mentality."
I'm sorry you raised a son who thinks it is okay to physically overpower a smaller person, yet is too much of a wimp to withstand a dramatic face slap.
Load More Replies...A rack to the nuts would also have been warranted...
Load More Replies...YTA fuggnuts, I'd like to smash your face into concrete cakes if I get a hold of your sorry behinds, literal concrete, mind you. You're telling me a grown-*ss man like Charlie Boy still find fun in doing (seriously, I fail to see how this is fun) juvenile *ssault like face-caking??? Even if I weren't OP, I'd be inclined to Forearm Smash him in the face since he likes to be aggressive for laughs. Plus, I'd be more inclined to believe that the "depression" Charlie Boy's equally sh*tter mum is suffering from is likely self-diagnosed. Sorry, but I'm inclined to believe anyone with depression wouldn't allow others to suffer as such. And demanding an apology from OP??? I'd happily smash his face into said concrete cakes as well, then apologize for it and some more because I cannot do that multiple times. OP ought to put as much distance between herself and that fruitcake excuse of a family, let alone marry into them. SMH!!! >:-(
You should be an author. You’d make me laugh every day
Load More Replies..."But it's just a harmless joke"! Harmless literally means no one gets hurt. This woman was physically forced into a situation she was trying to resist and felt hurt and humiliated afterwards. Does this sound "harmless"? Good on her for slâpping that mòron. His mother should be ashamed that she raised a troglodyte instead of demanding her to apologize for defending herself.
Haha, if it had been me it would have ended with more than a ridiculous slap in the face for my partner. What an idiot to do something like that and think it's a simple joke. My guess is that someone in his family gave him the idea. I mean, the man is 38, you should know better than that.
They're both in their 30's he's two years shy of 40 wtf? I would be annoyed if it was a teen, but as a grown adult it's genuinely disturbing, does he realize that this, especially with her clearly fighting back is a*****t? Just because there's a cake and not a body of water he's pressing her face in doesn't make it ok or funny.
He wouldn’t have done that to another guy, because he knew what he would get.
What is wrong with people? I don't get the cake smooshing thing, and don't think I every will. Cake is for eating, not ramming into people's faces. I find it incredibly disrespectful that someone would actually consider doing this. OP was well within her rights to act how she did, and her (hopefully now ex) BF was bang out of order, and his mother needs to have a massive attitude adjustment as well. I have re-read SuspiciousCricket334's reply and I am firmly of the opinion they they need to see a cranial proctologist ASAP, because it is very clear their head needs removing from their a**e...
I agree. Like, not only are you being a jerkwad of the highest order by @SSAULTING YOUR WIFE, you’re wasting cake…
Load More Replies...I'm so glad this isn't a thing where I'm from. How did a*****t and public humiliation become a thing? Like seriously. And I mean I don't want to be the one who makes everything about the patriarchy, but you just *know* this s**t wasn't invented by a woman.
For those of you not on Reddit, the YTAs got BURIED on this one. It was hysterical to watch.
Bullies always try to get away with bullying by claiming that "it was a joke."
No one even got to eat cake since this t w a t b a s k e t was only looking for a way to amuse himself and his family. She is justified in her reaction.
He’s lucky all he got was a slap! My knee jerk reaction is just that! Usually about the level of a man’s groin…
What's unacceptable is the fact he thought this was OK in the first place, his reaction to the retaliation and his Mother's input in all of this. Instead of calling out her son's behaviour she ignores that and attacks the victim for retaliating. His family dynamics are just off. The author needs to take this as the wake up call it is.
"When you invited one of the 3 Stooges to your birthday party..."
They were professionals, and that slapstick was timed and choreographed. This overgrown frat boy is just an a-b-u-s-e-r in sheep's clothing.
Load More Replies...I'm glad OP recognized her worth and dumped his sorry a**! So many women just accept that kind of behavior and when they finally realize there's a couple of kids involved.
He’s lucky you only slapped him, if it was e I would’ve made him a eunuch before I was done.
Manchild, is what he is. She dogded a bullet there. Some people cant seem to understand that people dont have the same type of humor. I have a fairly dark sence of humor and its not for everyone. I dont joke like that unless i know the person really well and know they are up for it. Its all about respecting people’s boundaries.
She was assaulted, and the slap was self defense. People saying YTA are probably abusers themselves.
Also worth noting - sometimes multi-layer cakes have wooden or plastic rods inside them for support. This could hurt someone's eyes.
THIS SO FREAKING MUCH!!! I do not know how many times I have seen professional bakeries explain that tall cakes have essentially food safe reo bars in them, and it is incredibly dangerous to just even cut into the cake without knowing where the supports are located in the cake. Smashing faces into wedding cakes or other multi layer cakes is a quick way to blind someone. Wonder if the manbaby and his smother would have still been bleating "she was violent it was just a joke" if there had been a skewer in there that he pushed her eye into
Load More Replies...The YTA claims SHE committed domestic abuse? He physically assaulted her in order to publicly humiliate her. That's "domestic abuse", slapping him is called "self defense". Men like this only escalate. She's lucky to get out before she married him. And don't get me started on his beotch of a mother.
That's not a boyfriend, that's an EX-boyfriend. It's also felony a*****t! Call the cops!
That last YTA is either the man-baby himself, or it's the biotch who welped him.
"Just a joke" is what bullies say when they get caught out and don't want to man up and apologize. He's 38 and acts like that? Oy, he needs some time in a hut far, far away from the rest of us to contemplete the idiocy of his actions. OK, maybe he can take his mother.
If the joke was that funny, why didn’t he let his mother in on the fun and smash her face into the cake?
Load More Replies...You should send the AH the bill it cost you for the blouse, eyelashes, and eyebrows you just had ruined!
It was a joke when he started to move her toward the cake. It ceased being a joke when she fought the process and he continued anyway. It degraded into full on abuse when he tried to do it a second time and smeared the cake into her hair. If he had immediately pulled back and apologized that it was just a joke I could see it but he turned into abuse.
The one with YTA should get a whole cake shoved in face, hair, clothes. See how it feels. Some cakes have plastic sticks to make the cake more steady, she lucky this cake didn't have one in it.
You can still report him to the police and have him charged for a*****t. The slap means nothing - you have the right to defend yourself. Tell him and his mother that. It seems he was very angry that he had to make an effort and wanted to punish you. Block him and never see him again.
I would not have stopped at a slap. I would have been pounding the c**p out of him until my real friends pulled me away from the scene. And by the way, his mom SHOULD feel humiliated because she is the one who raised that jacka$$.
This a*****e w@nker is lucky she was not the stabby type but that is probably why he chose her in the first place. He was looking for someone he could overpower when he wanted. We see a lot of those types of "relationships" coming in through the DV intake. "He" is a massive jacked gymbro with a roid rage fuelled narcissistic entitlement issue and is constantly looking for slights from smaller opponents so they can bash someone, win, and feel better about themselves. "She" is usually half the size, if not smaller, and younger so he can intimidate her just by looming over her and it makes him feel like his tiny button mushroom is huge when he insists on sh@gging
What he did was a*****t and she defended herself. Good riddance to obvious rubbish.
YTAH's are IDIOT's on this one! (Nothing new.)
Load More Replies...The thing is he assaulted her first, the slap was self defense. He pushed her down while she tried to resist, he overpowered her physically and pushed her down. That IS asŝault. The slap was self defense, as it would have been if the situation was reversed and she somehow managed to overpower him physically.
Load More Replies...I'm so sorry that you have had such a twisted upbringing that you believe that having your head forcefully pushed down into food is just some funny tradition and not genuinely a*****t. There's nothing loving about physical bullying.
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