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When you start dating someone new, it’s worth being a little careful about who you’re letting into your life. Because early on, as exciting as everything feels, they’re still pretty much a stranger, and you never really know what kind of person you’re dealing with. The only way to find out is to pay attention and be honest with yourself about what you’re seeing.
And the signs are usually there. Are they nice to you but rude to the waiter? Do they make jokes at your expense, then call you too sensitive for reacting? Do your friends have a nagging feeling that something about them is off? It’s easy to write these things off as one-time slip-ups, but they rarely are.
Below, we’ve rounded up stories from people who realized the red flags in their dates were there for a reason. Let them be a reminder to trust your gut when something feels off.
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#1
Ignored my girlfriend's texts after a tough shift at work. She took her frustration out on my TV.
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#2
Chrystina Sumpter 2 hours ago
Good. I really don’t understand how people treat pets as if they were disposable.
#4
Michael Largey 2 hours ago
Someone characterizing their being handed a car as "success" is a much bigger red flag.
#8
Chrystina Sumpter 2 hours ago
OP really should have paid more attention. There are two options 1) new husband is not a good guy and his parents know it or 2) parents scapegoat new husband and he can’t do anything right. Either way, it is in fact a huge red flag.
#9
#10
The 11 smartphones that my mom’s boyfriend has broken in the year they’ve been together. Some of them were his, some were hers, and one of them was even mine.
#13
Chrystina Sumpter 2 hours ago
When someone says “Oh we never argue…” you know something is very wrong in that relationship.
#15
Michael Largey 2 hours ago
Her withholding the information from you but you found out anyway might be a red flag.
#16
My girlfriend hates my room. I live on my own right now, and she saw my room and said it is an instant red flag.
#18
CommunityMember 1 hour ago
I never understood the free meal thing. I would rather eat mr.noodle every night then sit across from someone I do not like just to get a restaurant meal. I mean the food may be good but you have to make conversation and be fake the entire time. Why ? Is it worth it ?
#24
Chrystina Sumpter 2 hours ago
My husband and I have always been very competitive. Thing is, no matter who wins, the other is always happy for them.
#25
Michael Largey 2 hours ago
Disinterest in politics is not neutrality. It is an endorsement of the status quo.
#26
#27
Met a “nice” guy at the bar, but had to leave for a party. This is what I woke up to.
My phone filters new senders, so I didn’t see any of these or get notified until the next day.
For context, when I put my number in his phone and handed it back, I noticed he had a second phone in his other hand. I had already noticed he only had a few contacts when I was adding my number, but I thought maybe it was a new phone at first. I asked if it was a work phone and if he wasn’t really single. Red flag for sure, but I brushed it off as I was paying my tab to leave and said maybe we could meet for breakfast the next day. This is what dating has been like for me lately. I’m frustrated.
#30
The context: I matched with this girl 3 days ago, and we were planning to meet on the weekend to go skiing together. The conversation was going really well and seemed like long-term potential. I wished her good night and went to sleep early. I woke up to go to the bathroom late at night and opened Instagram and liked her picture, which she had posted late.
Chrystina Sumpter 2 hours ago
First of all, stop checking Instagram in the middle of the night. If you haven’t screwed up your sleep yet, it’s just a matter of time. Second, anyone who jumps to conclusions without discussion or evidence is not someone you want in your life.
#34
#37
He’s absolutely a red flag.
Chrystina Sumpter 2 hours ago
Statistically, it is the standard of living of women and children that goes down more significantly after a divorce. So when men say they don’t want to be screwed in the divorce, what they’re really saying is if we get divorced, I don’t want to give you your fair share.
#38
Chrystina Sumpter 2 hours ago
Why the f*ck would you ever feel the need to prove to anybody that you’re not wearing makeup?
#43
#45
He's also been in and out of prison, but he thinks it's a normal thing.
Chrystina Sumpter 1 hour ago
So his aggression and violence are not because of anger but because he is choosing to be aggressive and violent? I don’t think that’s the flex he thinks it is.
#47
Went on 3 dates and have spent maybe 10 hours with this person, and she is on me full court press about therapy. Like, I am open to it, but I'm not gonna go just bc she says so. Am I wrong for this?
Chrystina Sumpter 1 hour ago
No, you’re not wrong. I had the same therapist for 20 years. Started seeing her when my Dad was dying. Stopped seeing her when I had processed his d***h. When I ran into issues, I’d go back. If you are in therapy as a way of life, then you either need a better therapist or you should really seek inpatient treatment.
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