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95 People Share Why They Walked Into Therapy And Walked Out Without Their Therapist
Actually going to therapy can feel a bit like going through the five stages of grief. First, there's denial: “Nah, I don't need therapy. I can handle it on my own.” And then, after a wave of emotions, friends' opinions, and a bunch of tears or anger, you might finally realize, “Hey, maybe I do need help.” Acceptance.
Only, that process can take weeks, months, or, hey, even a few years. But in the end, all that matters is that we got there. Unfortunately, though, this already difficult and emotionally charged process can become even worse when you finally sit down and realize that your therapist, well... may not be the best fit for you.
In fact, research suggests that, on average, 30% to 47% of patients in real-world community clinics drop their therapists within the first three sessions. But sometimes that change is warranted, so one netizen asked people on TikTok to share why they ended up firing their therapists.
The reasons ranged from perfectly sensible ones all the way down to a number of stories that frankly prove some people just shouldn't get a license—or even a psychology degree. So, without any further ado, this is what they said.
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#1
“There’s no way you have bipolar I don’t see that for you” involuntary check in a week later for mania.
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#2
She forgot TWICE that I had recently lost my brother. Said “what if you just reached out to him and told him what you’re feeling?” With what an Ouija board??
#3
I got too attached to her and started to not be honest because I didn’t want to disappoint her.
To absolutely no one's surprise, a big part of why so many people end up giving up on therapy is also the fact that they can't find the right match for them. Clinical researchers have long emphasized that finding a good therapist isn't necessarily about finding someone with the best credentials. Instead, you should aim to find and establish a high-quality therapeutic alliance — but that isn't your job alone.
Generally, psychologists suggest that you should look for someone you feel safe and unjudged with, someone you can share sensitive information with without feeling patronized or criticized. And, of course, you want someone who actively listens, picks up on nuances, and avoids doing all the talking for you.
Their communication style should also match your own — or at least click in a way that feels right. A directive therapist who gives you homework might be your style, while someone else might prefer a therapist with a more open-ended approach.
#4
i would just tell her the most traumatic things and she would follow up with, “and how did that make you feel?” like IM ACTIVELY CRYING, SO NOT GOOD CATHY.
#5
I am about to leave mine. We do zoom calls and I could see in the reflection of her glasses where she is as scrolling on her phone and while I was talking. Then in the middle of our session she went to go get her DoorDash.
#6
She tried to get me to date her son, the next one cried more than me in my session. After that I gave up and just started to pray and read my Bible feel way better a win is a win.
A lot of the stories shared also point to the number of therapists who minimize someone's experiences, which seems to be far more common than we might have guessed. Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist and author, has warned against therapists who push their own personal agendas or even react negatively when you ask a question.
Instead, what they should aim to do, she says, is foster your autonomy rather than make you dependent on them for your sanity. Essentially, her point is this: therapy should feel safe, not leave you confused or afraid of disappointing your therapist. Trust your instincts and pay attention to how your body reacts.
#7
After telling my therapist i have a distorted image of my body, knowing that it’s not the truth but still seeing something different in the mirror she told me “look, on a scale from skinny to fat you’re like…. *drawing a scale on a piece of paper* here.” and points at the scale where it’s like really close (like 80%?) to ‘fat’. I was underweight for most of my life btw and had finally reached a normal weight. Thanks for nothing I guess. It’s not like I wanted her to draw a scale, why was that even necessary?
#9
She encouraged me to stay while experiencing domestic violence. Left them both and doing a lot better now.
There are so many factors to consider when choosing a therapist as well. For starters, if you have a specific issue you want to address — like OCD, PTSD, or an eating disorder — you should aim to find a therapist who specializes in that particular condition. Or, if you believe you might need medication specific to your needs, you may want to consider seeing a psychiatrist instead.
And if it just doesn't click, don't you worry. Professionals have long agreed that changing therapists and "shopping around" is common and even expected. If, after a few sessions, you realize the connection isn't there, or that you feel misunderstood or dismissed, it is absolutely okay to find someone else to fit your needs without giving up therapy altogether.
#10
I have severe anxiety and intrusive thoughts and her only answer was "well you've got to change your mindset and stop having anxiety" LIKE WOW WHY DIDNT I THINK OF THAT.
#11
She got her 4th dui and ended up on busted newspaper all banged up from the wreck (she was helping me process childhood trauma from an alcoholic…)
#12
I asked for help with my eating disorder and she just told me to follow an intuitive eating girl on Instagram. Bye.
#13
Couples therapy with my ex (when we were still together) and they just let my ex vent about their mom and the one time I spoke up to bring up the cheating they told me “that’s a harsh word, let’s use ‘infidelity’” and tried to convince me the cheating was understandable because ‘marrying for real love is fairly new still’.
A lot of the stories shared also point to the number of therapists who minimize someone's experiences, which seems to be far more common than we might have guessed. Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist and author, has warned against therapists who push their own personal agendas or even react negatively when you ask a question.
Instead, what they should aim to do, she says, is foster your autonomy rather than make you dependent on them for your sanity. Essentially, her point is this: therapy should feel safe, not leave you confused or afraid of disappointing your therapist. Trust your instincts and pay attention to how your body reacts.
#15
I'm a therapist and my last therapist gave me business advice that ended up being illegal in the state of California lol.
Thankfully, more and more people are becoming more aware and accepting of therapy, despite bad experiences. Because no, it isn't just for "crazy" or depressed people — it's for everyone hoping to get a better understanding of themselves and others, and also improve each and every day.
In the United States alone, research points out that approximately 14% of adults, which amounts to around 36 million people, received counseling or therapy in 2024 alone. That number increases, though, when you include those taking prescription medication for mental health, to a whopping 22% of the population. Good for them.
#16
I ghosted her because she kept getting my name wrong and couldn’t remember anything from past appointments. Literally suggested I go to therapy at an old place of work, then suggested it again the next week.
#17
Told her about my fear of dogs and like clockwork she laughed and let her two dogs in the room. Literally traumatizing lol.
Young adults aged 18-39 are far less reticent when it comes to seeking mental health support and also make up the largest age group among therapy participants. Unfortunately, that number keeps dropping among older age groups, where the stigma surrounding mental health is still really high.
#19
She was constantly on her phone during session. Gaslight me. Talk about herself. Then I find out she’s under investigation for very serious allegations with the board of psycho therapists:).
#20
I was seeking help for religious trauma from being raised in the Mormon cult and I walked into his office and there was a large picture of the Mormon temple on his wall and behind his desk was picture after picture of him and his family in their Mormon clothes and usually standing in front of a Mormon building. I don't know how he thought he was going to help me.
The stigma surrounding therapy and mental health is actually really complex and layered. First, there's that internalized shame — the feeling that you should just push through because you're trying to fit yourself into a societal mold. Then, we also have cultural and generational barriers.
Both the National Center for Health Statistics (CDC) and the American Psychiatric Association (APA) claim that, depending on your culture, racial or ethnic group, mental health support can be highly frowned upon, sometimes because of strong cultural norms around family privacy or even traditional gender expectations. Because, well, unsurprisingly, women are also the largest group of people in therapy.
#21
I went through a miscarriage induced by physical violence by my ex husband and my therapist basically said “ you can have more babies “ yeaaahhh??? Cool
#22
My first therapist told me “I don’t think I have the tools to understand you. Maybe you should find someone else.” My second therapist after that said, “why are you here? You seem like you can identify your problems really easily” yeah I know. HELP ME FIGURE IUT WHAG TO DO AFTER THAY SUSAN. third therapist was late to every appointment and I ghosted her. Fourth was hard of hearing (not her fault but I talk fast and I needed someone to keep up) and then it took her two months to find a replacement and after ONE session, the new guy told me he was moving. So now I’m done with therapy…….
#23
found out i was ex-mormon and she was mormon so she spent out sessions preaching the mormon gospel to try and convert me back…also talked about her daddy issues more than mine
#24
My old therapist said my ex almost hit me because he was worried about me and loved me 🧍♀️never saw her again, lowkey turned me off therapy
Aside from stigma, there's money — because of course. While the numbers may change depending on where you are, therapy is not cheap. In the U.S., out-of-pocket therapy sessions can go from $100 to $200 an hour.
On the other hand, for a few lucky Europeans, the cost may be zero, but the waiting times are long. Years long. This can lead people to the private sector, where they may end up paying a lot of money for a single session.
In spite of it all, don't ever give up on trying to find good help. Take it from Michelle Obama herself: "Whether an illness affects your heart, your arm, or your brain, it's still an illness, and there shouldn't be any distinction. We should make it clear that getting help isn't a sign of weakness."
#25
she started to catch on to my drinking habits/lying and i ghosted her. 2 years later im back with her and sober lol.
#26
She agreed with everything too much and said I taught her things because I was so emotionally intelligent thanks but I don’t need rookie lol.
#27
She told me i curse too much and need to stop whenever i see you.. i said ma’am my life is literally in shambles and your worried about me CURSING?????
#30
She told me I should seek emancipation from my parents and I told my mom and my mom immediately made me stop seeing her.
#31
She started doom scrolling literally in our session thinking the screen didn't show her phone.
#32
I was there to talk about my childhood and she wouldn’t stop bringing up how she just “couldn’t believe” I had autism (I was diagnosed).
#33
couple therapy, I had a one on one with her and she started crying, because I reminded her of her own story, she started encouraging me to leave.
#34
He insisted that I hug him before I left appts. I was so uncomfortable I asked the office to make him stop. He didnt. He was only person my insurance would cover so it went on for a year. One day, I called to make an appt and he wasn't there anymore. 1/2.
#36
told me to google how many calories i should be eating for my weight and me to watch “the lovely bones” after i told her i struggled with body image and eating.
#37
TW: ED I was struggling with an eating disorder and she told me that I’ll never be able to look like “Bella Hadid skinny” that I’m definitely not thin enough to have an eating disorder cried for hours.
#38
Made me list all my ADHD symptoms, then talked about her daughter and asked me if I thought she might have it too..
#40
I got all y’all… my last therapist was a religious zealot. Who tried to use “therapy”to convince me to “pray away my PTSD”
#42
She insisted I tell her 3 things I’m grateful for before she’d let me end the session. Things like a roof over my head (I was renting the bunkhouse of an RV from an older coworker) and food… you mean the things I worked really hard for!?! The things that took tons of time and energy to maintain!?! I’m not grateful for those because I earned them, they weren’t handed to me. I can feel gratitude if someone gives me a gift but if I earn a thing it’s not gratitude I feel but accomplishment. She didn’t listen when I told her repeatedly that’s not how my brain works and that I HATE platitudes and lip service.
#43
My last therapist told another therapist “god that girl is just too much I can’t with her” while I was still in the lobby right after our appointment and we made eye contact. I was going through a rough time and had problems expressing my emotions bc I would bottle them up, along with other issues but safe to say I never went back to her 😅
#46
Validated everything I said. I can do that by myself queen I need you to help me break these habits.
#47
He told me I had “male authority figure issues” and when I requested to be referred to another therapist he asked me if I was sure I didn’t want to work on my “male authority figure issues” with him lol.
#53
he wasn’t really doing anything, so i stopped seeing him. but THEN he stalked me and would call 5 times a day from different numbers.
#55
He left a voicemail hoping “Kia” would be at their next session. Maybe Kia showed up… but KAI sure didn’t!!! (My therapist of 6 months).
#57
she basically used me (an openly queer woman) as LGBTQ+ google… even though i was there to talk about performance anxiety:/ i had just checked off queer in my chart.
#58
She gaslight me. I have BPD, she specialises in BPD. She used my issues against me, made me sound crazy to my partner when he spoke to her.
#59
broke my trust and confidentially, lied about it, and blamed my sister with autism (i have receipts).
#61
She (a mh councillor) told me I need to change meds and wrote down a couple different ones. I had been on a long journey of finding the right med for me. When I told her she isn’t a doc/hasn’t seen my records she begged me not to tell anyone.
#63
I work in vet med and was struggling with some intense PTSD and work related things that I felt like she just didn’t understand (takes vet med trauma to know vet med trauma tbh).
#64
first session with a new, MALE psychologist (first mistake.) i opened up about my SA. he said, and i quote, “well, that was a very long time ago, so…”
#65
She literally didn’t remember anything from previous sessions and seemed like she needed a therapist more than I did. My chiropractor literally remembered about my life than she did.
#66
she was a white lady with dreads so there’s that, but also after i told her mindfulness and meditation exercises are not useful to me (especially with my adhd) said she would take that into consideration, gave me mindfulness and meditation exercises in our next session.
#67
in response to the diddy case she said “don’t you think they’re just trying to bring a blk man down?” & when i would tell her any problems i was having, she’d share her screen & google vitamins.
#68
I want to stop seeing her. She uses her phone mid sessions. She tells me her dad doesn’t show her love and all dads are like that. She once canceled my appointment bc someone was more “urgent” out of everyone she chose me. she told me people would stay away from and leave me bc of my sh scares. Mind u I have bpd and my biggest fear is abandonment. She’s trying to manipulate me and make me scared so I won’t do it again.
#69
Told her how isolated I felt when I broke my back and she looked me in the eyes and replied “I don’t believe you broke your back, you wouldn’t be here having a convocation if you did” and I’m just like WHAT DO I EVEN SAY TO THAT - I had copies of the x-ray & MRI and I was wheelchair bound for 6 months.
#70
I was sent to a therapist as a child for some reason and I thought “trusted adult”, so I told her about my mom’s boyfriend physically a*****g me so maybe the a***e could stop. She asked me what my goal was by telling this little “story” of mine. My stomach dropped. Once session was over, she called my house and told my mom’s boyfriend what I’d said. I almost didn’t survive his retaliation. Still, no one believed me.
#73
mine retired and before we hung up our last call, he said “i really hope you outlive me and i don’t ever see you 💀 on the news” (we had the same sense of humor). i miss him every day
#74
i made my (not anymore) therapist cry. telling her my SA story triggered her, and i had to comfort her. i paid $80 to comfort her. that sucked.
#75
My therapist told me “you’re very self aware I’m not sure you need therapy” then was confused why I canceled my future appointments 😂
#76
She told me at 14 years old that I wasn’t really depressed and was just trying to manipulate her into making me feel better 💀 lady, you’re my THERAPIST?! How am I manipulating you just by telling you how I feel about stuff?!
#77
I had a really severe reaction to a medication that I didn't need to be on in the first place, it sent me into a 2-year-long psychotic episode and I caught it myself because I had a little moment of clarity.. I went into her office and demanded to be tapered off the medication because I could not stop it completely as they had me at the highest legal dose possible and kept upping it when I would tell them I'm having these side effects that are not normal for the medication.. my therapist took me to my psychiatrist and was complaining that I wanted off of the medication and I had to threaten to go off cold turkey in order for them to agree to taper me off the medication and once we got to that agreement, they both let me go as a patient stating that I was "resisting treatment"! I was having a severe and de***y reaction to the medication.. I wasn't resisting treatment, I was dy**g.. now years later I am permanently disabled because of it and there's nothing I can do because of the "resisting treatment" on my file.
#78
Old therapist at the VA: “I think you deserved it because women don’t belong in the military” when I discussed my SA.
#79
more like a counsellor in an academic setting but when i was being picked on by my only friends at this place and i suggested that i should stop wasting time on them and they probs just werent my sort of people, she said i was being too judgemental of them (they would put me on wild goose chases to avoid me and would be apart of group chats where my classmates were taking photos of me and making fun of me for being severely depressed)
#80
She kept looking and talking to me like i was an idiot or i was a small child. I was 20 and she worker on the adult section of the psychiatric clinic
#81
I quit many. Once was to rude and forgot the appointments and blamed it on me, another one wanted to "cure" my adhd with FREUD and writing down dreams 💀💀💀💀💀
#82
the last one said "honestly ive taught you all I can but im a DBT therapist and im not informed enough on your condition to properly treat you anymore" great! genuinely appreciated that response! she was helpful when I needed to learn DBT but once I had learned it all I needed someone more specialized! the one before that? I told her about my SA and she said "well is it possible you DID consent but blocked out the memory of consenting because of the religious shame?" GIRL WHAT
#83
My original black female therapist got a promotion and she me switched to a non black female therapist and she canceled my very first appointment haven’t been to therapy in 3 years. My OG therapist specifically told her I don’t like canceled appointments and throws me off for the week she agreed to keep all
#84
my last therapist would get mad at me while I expressed issues and would scroll through her phone the ENTIRE session MULTIPLE TIMES so I ghosted her and never went back
#86
She wanted to focus on diagnosing me with ADHD and engaging me as a professional with theory. While I was there to work through the grief of watching my mom d**.
#87
Told me about her sessions with a close coworker of mine. If you’re talking about her to me, I assume you’re talking about me to her. Not ok. It was my second session; never went back!
#88
One was through work with an app, they never answered any calls even when we set up a time to talk and if I messaged they’d take MONTHS to respond. The other was also through work but a different app and was good about answering calls and responding to messages but it annoyed me how she never gave me any kind of advice or anything at all period. It was like venting to a friend that never knew what to say. Finally I said something about it and she said she wanted me to learn how to work through my own problems and then added that she saw in my file I originally went for a degree in psychology so it meant I “didn’t really need her to tell me what was wrong or how to fix it, I was qualified to do that on my own”. Cool cool, thank you so much for your lack of help Aaron and Christina.
#89
Mine was a childhood trauma therapist and she straight up told her supervisor she could no longer see me because my childhood trauma was to much.. her supervisor had to tell me my next scheduled vist and I was like I just got to the age of 9.. hahaha.. never found another one..
#90
told him i didn’t want to bring up certain things yet he kept bringing them up and then said everything was private but told many adults like my family and adults i didn’t even know
#91
I had a therapist give me 4 different diagnosis and then told me I lied about everything I ever told her.
#92
I left one once because she told me to write a letter to the man that S Ad me as a child, and she would look up his info (he was in jail at the time on another charge), and mail it. Tell him exactly what I felt. So, I did. I gave it to her and she STUCK IT IN A FILE FOLDER AND PUT IT AWAY. I asked her why she did that. She said, “it’s just an exercise for you to express how you feel.” Then don’t fkn LIE to me!! I was 15 (the a*****t happened at 10). I wouldn’t talk to her after that so my parents eventually stopped making me go so they weren’t wasting the money.
#93
She spent 40 minutes talking about her own problems... like how she just started her new practice at a new location and how her mother still hasn't been to her house and doesn't really know her children. She also tried to double charge me for the session.
#94
my therapist said how I can have depression because I look so happy I mean she still helps me with that but this sentence was kinda odd and I didn't knew what to answer
#95
old therapist literally forgot who I was 😭 she called me the wrong name 3 times and when I corrected her she was insinuating I was delusional
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