Boomer Grandparents Show They’re Not Exactly The ‘Village’ Modern Parents Need

It takes a village to raise a child, and some believe that Boomers aren’t it. Mother and Reddit user Tonybeetzzz made a post on r/Parenting, criticizing her old folks for being horrible grandparents and constantly choosing to stay at home instead of spending time with her children.

As she vented, the woman went even further and said that it’s not just an isolated case—she blamed the entire generation for not doing their part.

The mom’s unfiltered honesty attracted many people to share their own thoughts in the comments, and not everyone agreed with her.

Exhausted parents need all the help they can get

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And this mother believes Boomer grandparents aren’t doing their part

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But plenty of people disagree with her

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Another parent said they share the sentiment

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And received a little more positive feedback

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But is it really the case? The numbers and experts say otherwise

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A 2024 poll showed that 60% of American adults aged 50 and over have at least one grandchild, including step-grandchildren, adopted grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. (That includes the 27% who said they have five or more grandchildren.)

The poll asked older adults who have grandchildren under age 18 how often they see them. In all, 18% of grandparents see their grandchild or grandchildren every day or nearly every day, an additional 23% see them at least once a week, and 23% see them once or twice a month, while 36% said they only see them every few months or less.

Nearly half (49%) of grandparents under age 18 provide care for them at least once every few months. Another 20% care for one or more grandchildren at least once a week, with 8% providing daily or near-daily care.

Generations United, a Washington, D.C.-based nonprofit that was launched more than 35 years ago in partnership with AARP, advocates for grandfamilies. “Grandparents have been stepping in to raise grandchildren since the beginning of our country,” says Donna Butts, executive director of Generations United. “But it has increased in recent years. We see spikes whenever there is a crisis.”

And it’s not just the United States. For example, a 2023 survey found that more than half (52%) of UK grandparents provide some sort of childcare during the working week, doing more than four hours a day on average, or 22 hours per week.

The study also found that more than a third look after their grandchildren in the school holidays, and not only are grandparents not being paid to provide childcare, but it’s actually costing them £80 ($107) a week, or more than £4k ($5.3K) a year.

Carole Easton, a psychotherapist and the chief executive of the Centre for Ageing Better, told The Guardian that among her grandparent friends, “there is a sense of obligation: ‘I’m not sure how they [the parents] would manage if we didn’t do this.'” It’s not, according to her, a complaint as much as “an acknowledgment that there isn’t a genuine choice in this.”

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