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Article created by: Mantas Kačerauskas
Like so many of society's biases, lookism — the discriminatory treatment of people who are considered physically unattractive — is something we're all aware of (at least subconsciously), whether we've been directly affected by it or not. However, it's one of those difficult topics that we often steer our conversations away from. Especially if we're the ones who are benefiting from it.
So, in an attempt to reignite this age-old discussion, Redditor u/ZeuslovesHer asked other users: "Is 'pretty privilege' real and what is your experience with it?" And unfortunately, many had stories to share. Here are some of the most memorable ones.
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#1
Yep. When I was in highschool I was not attractive, so my personality was seen negatively because I'm "weird". I had a bit of a glow up the summer after graduating and now I'm "quirky", "interesting", and "passionate".
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#2
Big time it is. I was a very unattractive teenager and the world felt like a very harsh place. Some people are openly rude to you if they don’t find you good looking. As I did grow into my looks and became reasonably good looking, not heading down the catwalk or anything but nice enough, boy did the world open up. People (mostly men) became so much nicer to me and just much more accommodating. Pretty privilege is very very real, having been on both sides.
#3
Very real. Nightlife (bartending, etc) is good money, and they don’t hire people who are not at the very least conventionally attractive. I’ve been tipped generously many times simply because customers thought I was pretty. Mostly by gay men and straight women.
#4
120% real. I have a sister who is conventionally attractive. Whenever we go to an open bar event, she's the designated drink getter, since the barmen will trip over themselves and/or each other to give her drinks, while ignoring the rest of us ugly plebs.
#5
Very attractive, or formerly very attractive, people are used to being listened to and will go on and on about anything. Also, I’ve worked at several universities and the better the school, the more attractive the student body. I assume this is because attractive people get extra attention and help from an early age. They expect and are expected to succeed early on.
#6
I was born with a facial deformity and have since had multiple (10+) procedures to fix it. Growing up, people would literally stare at me, walk to the other side of the street, openly laugh, etc. At 12, I was at the mall with a friend when one of those childhood modeling services ran over and started praising my friend, looked at me, then went "but you're both beautiful in your own ways."
Now 21, apparently I've had enough work done that people are able to look at me because everyone is nicer, takes me seriously, and I get free drinks when I go out.
Yep. People definitely treat you differently when they think you're attractive.
#7
Yes. I'm ugly, and when I worked alongside more beautiful women it was obvious how much better they were treated.
#8
It is real. I’m a good looking man that works in a technical field. I am very competent and certainly don’t get overlooked for it. I know plenty of people who are less attractive who do.
#9
I knew a girl who was a hostess at an 'upscale' restaurant. Her manager told her if any girls come in with a resume for a job, if they are unattractive/overweight to mark '110' on the top right of the paper. If you draw a diagonal line between the two ones, you are spelling out 'NO.
#10
I know a girl that was completely terrible at her job but the boss loved her. Kept getting promotions, bonuses, raises, and things like that when raises were frozen for everyone else. She ended up leaving her company to work at a more prestigious company...
#11
Without trying to brag I’m a decently attractive girl. I have a bit of a natural prettiness to me BUT I’m also really good at doing my make up, hair, clothes. I work out a lot too so I’m in shape. These are arguably more important than natural beauty.
Yes there’s a privilege when you’re attractive. Guys will do stuff for me, trip over themselves when I ask for help, buy me drinks etc. Is it worth all the sexual advances and harassment? Sometimes. I get catcalled a lot, people think I’m a dumb pretty girl, other women get really catty if I say anything to their boyfriend/husband. I get a lot of overly sexual messages.
What’s really funny is all the privilege goes away when I’m out with my 3 kids. It goes from a bunch dudes going out of their way to help to the opposite. Although I still get catcalled when I’m with my kids, a little too much.
#12
Absolutely, the summer before my junior year I lost a ton of weight and when everyone saw me, I was 40 lb lighter than the previous year. I started getting more friends, teachers started talking to me more, girls were starting to notice me, etc. Now this could all be because I finally had my confidence up but it’s hard to tell.
The summer before my senior year I really dialed in and got into really great shape and that’s when I noticed a huge change. I was getting asked out by girls every other week until I finally got what would be my first long term relationship. Then I joined the Navy, gained maybe 20 lb in A school, and boom it was back to square one, no longer the guy everyone always wanted to be around.
#13
My attractive coworker and I were stopped on the same day, by the same trooper, for speeding. I'm a fugly dude, she's a 10/10 knockout. I was doing 81 mph in a 70 zone and got a ticket. She was doing 86 mph in a 70 zone and the trooper gave her a warning.
#14
I invest a lot of time and money into my physical appearance for this reason. It sounds easy to say that you don’t need makeup to be beautiful and caring too much about how you look is vain, but when you’ve lived part of your life ugly and part of your life pretty you really do see plainly the benefits in all areas of life. If nothing else, you gain a lot of self confidence and that translates to everything including career ambition.
Especially for people who lack in other areas of privilege, you hang on to this one.
#15
Since I used to be fat and slimmed down I know what it's like to be ugly and what it's like to be seen as somewhat handsome.
It's definitely real.
#16
Pretty privilege is real, think Mean Girls where Cady was pretty much got handed over the top seats in the Girl World Pyramid seeing that she was a 'regulation hottie'. But I feel that even if you aren't born physically attractive, having a friendly face can make up for it. And it's much easier to attain, especially as you get older. Smiling and being nice shows on your face, and it does get people some perks!
#17
When I used to live in LA, people often thought I was a model/actress and I typically found it to be a super fun, friendly city. I was in LA visiting family while pregnant and got acne for the first time since I was 14. People were so much less friendly, then got more friendly again only once my bump was clear. It was like all the nice people in LA reappeared.
#18
Go on LinkedIn and look at any big companies' sales team/account managers...that's all you need to know.
#20
I mean I accidentally hit an older guy with a door at the gas station the other day as I was leaving. I immediately started profusely apologizing, and when he turned around and saw me he immediately changed his face and said it was okay and not to worry. I noticed his Bucs hat so we chatted about football, told him to enjoy his beer and avoid any more doors to the heel and I apologized again, then we went on our way.
I know for a fact had I not been a (that day presentable lmao) female, he was definitely ready to go off. So... sometimes it helps to have these big ol blue eyes hahaha.
#21
I generally know that strangers will say yes to me or help me with stuff if I ask nice with a smile. I'm pretty confident in being able to 'cute' my way out of trouble, including with authority/security/cops.
#22
It's actually been proven. Attractive people are more successful in life because of it (e.i they're seen as more competent with no evidence showing that they are when compared to their less attractive counterparts and so on). I would offer some examples but it would all be anecdotal and if we Google it there's several links to more scientific backed ones. I would link some but I'm on mobile atm.
#23
I've never seen an ugly waitress. I often have conversations with friends while eating out along the lines of "where do they find these women? Everyone in town except the waiting staff is ugly."
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