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153
Woman Ignores Red Flags After Husband’s Gaslighting, Finally Has Had Enough Of Disrespect
Engaging in “friendly” flirting is like playing with fire, especially if you’re in a committed relationship. You’re putting yourself in a situation where you can potentially escalate things with the other person that could ruin what you have with your partner in one fell swoop.
It’s a basic concept of fidelity that this man didn’t seem to understand. After his then-pregnant wife caught him getting awfully close with a female coworker, he dismissed it and turned the tables, saying his spouse was being “hormonal.”
His world instantly came crashing down as he now drowns in regret. Scroll through for the entire story.
RELATED:
There is no such thing as harmless flirting, yet many people in relationships still engage in it
Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)
A pregnant woman caught her husband flirting with his coworker, but was instead gaslighted instead of receiving an apology
Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)
Now faced with a looming divorce, the man came back begging for forgiveness
Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)
However, the woman stood her ground
Image source: ProfessOverthinker
Shallow flirting from a random person can undermine how you see your current partner
Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)
There is no such thing as harmless flirting, and even experts agree. As psychology professor Dr. Gary Lewandowski points out, any form of active “courtship” from another person may boost how attractive we perceive ourselves, which ultimately makes us more aware of other potential romantic partners.
Unfortunately, this can happen even when in a committed relationship. In his article for Psychology Today, Dr. Lewandowski mentioned a study conducted by Reichman University psychology professor Dr. Gurit Birnbaum.
Dr. Birnbaum’s findings revealed that participants who received flirty compliments saw their partners as less attractive. They also had less positive feelings towards their other half.
Dr. Lewandowski pointed out that such interactions have a higher chance of happening online, which is why he advises “limiting contexts that make flirtation more likely.” Unfortunately, for the husband, the damage had been done.
Healing from infidelity in a marriage begins with forgiveness
Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)
Healing emotional wounds from an affair starts with forgiveness. However, the actual process begins with the willingness to forgive.
Licensed psychologist Suzanne Phillips recognizes that the journey may involve cycles of distress, fear, and shame, and takes time and understanding. As she notes, the betrayed partner may have episodes of anger and pain and would benefit from a show of empathy.
However, the person who experienced the betrayal must also find it in themselves to sincerely forgive and move on.
“In many ways, this is a mutual journey that implies a belief in the other’s sincere regret, and a willingness and capacity to change – sometimes it is a leap of faith worth taking,” Philips wrote.
However, the woman seemed to have already given her divorce decision enough thought. It is within her right to end her marriage and remove herself from all the trauma caused by her husband’s infidelity and manipulation.
The woman provided more information about her story
Most readers sided with her and had choice words for her husband
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What do you think ?
Shark Lady 6 months ago
Like many others I've been told "she's just a friend, nothing for you to worry about" and then discovered that, actually, it was something I needed to worry about. You start to feel increasingly unhinged, when your gut is telling you something is wrong but the person you love is telling you the opposite, like you are the one with the problem. I only truly woke up, once the relationship was over but it took years before I felt I was able to trust anyone in my life.
BeesEelsAndPups 6 months ago
FWIW, I have two very close friends who are women, and whom I've known for nearly 20 years, and I have ZERO interest in them romantically, and I guarantee they have ZERO interest in me romantically. And every time I happen to be single at the same time that they happen to be single absolutely NOTHING happens between us which could remotely be construed as romantic or sexual. In fact, with one such friend, I went over to house after the last election, and we got hammered together. Nothing happened, nothing was ever going to happen. We were both single at the time, we're just good friends with similar political leanings. I do understand that you've been cheated on, so have I and it is the worst feeling. But it is possible for two heterosexual people of opposite genders to just be good friends.
Load More Replies...
Tabitha 6 months ago (edited)
It appears to me that most of these affairs start when the wife is too pregnant for s*x to be comfortable for her. So hubby starts looking for another “outlet”. Seems like so many men are truly owned and run by their “little brains”, and just can’t stand any kind of temporary interruption of them getting their rocks off, because that’s apparently the most important thing in their existence. Not family, not work, just them getting laid regularly without any interruption in service. It doesn’t matter that their wives—-who are carrying, giving birth to, then nurturing and feeding from their own bodies, their children, ffs—-are temporarily too uncomfortable and/or too sleep deprived to have s*x, but will be fine once they’ve healed and gotten some sleep. Oh no. They need to get laid right this minute and if the wife can’t provide, they’ll go sniffing around any other potentially available woman to make it happen. Because if they can’t get laid, then what’s the use of being married, right? Makes me sick. But when I hear about the good guys, the u I or a, it makes me so happy and hopeful that we’re bringing our sons up to be just like them, and not like the cheating a******s.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 6 months ago
I've never been equipped with a pénis, so I honestly don't know how it works for those who do have one, but... aren't there a LOT of other things that couples can still do together, séxually, if/when vaginal penétration isn't feasible due to something like pregnancy/recovery from childbirth? Aren't there also tons of solo TOYS out there, if the pénis-equipped partner doesn't feel attracted to a very-pregnant spouse? I've been on sites and I've bought toys for the bits *I've* got, and those sites also sell toys for the bits I don't got. I imagine it's not the same as the real thing, but holy hell, wouldn't a couple of weeks/months of boning a lubed-up silicon tube shaped like a glittery dragon's mouth or a FleshLight be WAY better than destroying your marriage and destroying your current relationships with your children?
Load More Replies...
BeesEelsAndPups 6 months ago
I am likely going to be lambasted for this opinion, but whatever, you guys don't know where I live. First, this isn't really gaslighting. We throw around these very technical psychology terms around like they don't mean anything, whether it's OCD or Depression, or Gaslighting. Gaslighting is a very specific form of psychological abuse where you attempt to convince the other person that they do not have an understanding of reality. This isn't just about a specific situation, but it's about reality as a whole. You are made to believe that you are psychotic, you need mental help. This guy was definitely lying, which in a relationship is a breach of trust, but it wasn't to the point of being a*****e. Second, it's totally possible that he was not having an affair, emotional or otherwise. I have female co-workers that I have been very close friends for over 20 years. Sometimes two people just click, but it doesn't mean that you want more than friendship.
Kathrin Pukowsky 6 months ago
While I agree that people really throw around psychology terms without having a clue what they mean (my pet peeve is "narcissist". ANY person they have an issue with is one, even if the behaviour described doesn't fit at all), when I read "Gaslighting is a very specific form of psychological abuse where you attempt to convince the other person that they do not have an understanding of reality" followed by "This isn't just about a specific situation, but it's about reality as a whole", I stopped to wonder whether you wrote out the definition, realised that's EXACTLY what the husband in the story did, and thus added the second sentence. But yes. It sounds a lot like gaslighting, but the husband only used the pregnancy hormones out of convenience, it doesn't sound like he consistently undermined her sense of reality.
Load More Replies...
Shark Lady 6 months ago
Like many others I've been told "she's just a friend, nothing for you to worry about" and then discovered that, actually, it was something I needed to worry about. You start to feel increasingly unhinged, when your gut is telling you something is wrong but the person you love is telling you the opposite, like you are the one with the problem. I only truly woke up, once the relationship was over but it took years before I felt I was able to trust anyone in my life.
BeesEelsAndPups 6 months ago
FWIW, I have two very close friends who are women, and whom I've known for nearly 20 years, and I have ZERO interest in them romantically, and I guarantee they have ZERO interest in me romantically. And every time I happen to be single at the same time that they happen to be single absolutely NOTHING happens between us which could remotely be construed as romantic or sexual. In fact, with one such friend, I went over to house after the last election, and we got hammered together. Nothing happened, nothing was ever going to happen. We were both single at the time, we're just good friends with similar political leanings. I do understand that you've been cheated on, so have I and it is the worst feeling. But it is possible for two heterosexual people of opposite genders to just be good friends.
Load More Replies... Tabitha 6 months ago (edited)
It appears to me that most of these affairs start when the wife is too pregnant for s*x to be comfortable for her. So hubby starts looking for another “outlet”. Seems like so many men are truly owned and run by their “little brains”, and just can’t stand any kind of temporary interruption of them getting their rocks off, because that’s apparently the most important thing in their existence. Not family, not work, just them getting laid regularly without any interruption in service. It doesn’t matter that their wives—-who are carrying, giving birth to, then nurturing and feeding from their own bodies, their children, ffs—-are temporarily too uncomfortable and/or too sleep deprived to have s*x, but will be fine once they’ve healed and gotten some sleep. Oh no. They need to get laid right this minute and if the wife can’t provide, they’ll go sniffing around any other potentially available woman to make it happen. Because if they can’t get laid, then what’s the use of being married, right? Makes me sick. But when I hear about the good guys, the u I or a, it makes me so happy and hopeful that we’re bringing our sons up to be just like them, and not like the cheating a******s.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 6 months ago
I've never been equipped with a pénis, so I honestly don't know how it works for those who do have one, but... aren't there a LOT of other things that couples can still do together, séxually, if/when vaginal penétration isn't feasible due to something like pregnancy/recovery from childbirth? Aren't there also tons of solo TOYS out there, if the pénis-equipped partner doesn't feel attracted to a very-pregnant spouse? I've been on sites and I've bought toys for the bits *I've* got, and those sites also sell toys for the bits I don't got. I imagine it's not the same as the real thing, but holy hell, wouldn't a couple of weeks/months of boning a lubed-up silicon tube shaped like a glittery dragon's mouth or a FleshLight be WAY better than destroying your marriage and destroying your current relationships with your children?
Load More Replies... BeesEelsAndPups 6 months ago
I am likely going to be lambasted for this opinion, but whatever, you guys don't know where I live. First, this isn't really gaslighting. We throw around these very technical psychology terms around like they don't mean anything, whether it's OCD or Depression, or Gaslighting. Gaslighting is a very specific form of psychological abuse where you attempt to convince the other person that they do not have an understanding of reality. This isn't just about a specific situation, but it's about reality as a whole. You are made to believe that you are psychotic, you need mental help. This guy was definitely lying, which in a relationship is a breach of trust, but it wasn't to the point of being a*****e. Second, it's totally possible that he was not having an affair, emotional or otherwise. I have female co-workers that I have been very close friends for over 20 years. Sometimes two people just click, but it doesn't mean that you want more than friendship.
Kathrin Pukowsky 6 months ago
While I agree that people really throw around psychology terms without having a clue what they mean (my pet peeve is "narcissist". ANY person they have an issue with is one, even if the behaviour described doesn't fit at all), when I read "Gaslighting is a very specific form of psychological abuse where you attempt to convince the other person that they do not have an understanding of reality" followed by "This isn't just about a specific situation, but it's about reality as a whole", I stopped to wonder whether you wrote out the definition, realised that's EXACTLY what the husband in the story did, and thus added the second sentence. But yes. It sounds a lot like gaslighting, but the husband only used the pregnancy hormones out of convenience, it doesn't sound like he consistently undermined her sense of reality.
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