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“AITA For Blowing Up At My Friend For Her Behavior At My Wedding?”
“AITA For Blowing Up At My Friend For Her Behavior At My Wedding?”
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“AITA For Blowing Up At My Friend For Her Behavior At My Wedding?”

Interview With Expert

37

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While planning a wedding, the couple should be prepared for all kinds of unexpected situations, including one of the members of their bridal party getting pregnant. Of course, such news is exciting, but at the same time, it requires a lot of rearrangements to better accommodate the mother-to-be. 

This bride dealt with it exceptionally well, coming to her friend’s appointments while she came to her dress fittings. She also accepted her wish to not further participate in the bridal party and was very understanding about it. However, her best efforts completely backfired when she found out that her best friend was spreading awful rumors about her at her own wedding.

Scroll down to find the full story and a conversation with wedding planner and owner of “Popped Event Planning,” Sydney Goldberg, who kindly agreed to tell us more about accommodating expecting bridesmaids during weddings.

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    While planning a wedding, the couple should be prepared for the unexpected

    Image credits: Mental Health America (MHA) / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    When this bride found out her MOH was pregnant, she gladly accommodated all her needs, which backfired completely

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    Image credits: Laura Garcia / Pexels (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: Karolina Grabowska / Pexels (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: annoyingsinglefriend

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    Image credits:  Jeremy Wong / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    “Unless the baby is due on or before the wedding day, this shouldn’t really affect much”

    Once the bridesmaid breaks such news, wedding planner and owner of “Popped Event Planning,” Sydney Goldberg, tells Bored Panda that the bride should be ecstatic for her friend. “Unless the baby is due on or before the wedding day, this shouldn’t really affect much! This is happy news and I for one, would hope that anyone I am close enough to be a bridesmaid for would be thrilled.”

    If the friend is up for it, they’ll most likely want to join in on all the fun. However, when it comes to including pregnant bridesmaids in the wedding and the accompanying celebrations, Goldberg advises not to treat them differently from everyone else, allowing them to participate in the things they want to. 

    “Don’t assume they won’t partake in a bachelorette party,” she says. “They may need to opt out of a 5-day trip filled with late-night partying, but if you’re opting for something a little more mellow, they may still want to join and just forego the champagne.”

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    Open communication is key here. Talk about how involved the bridesmaid wants to be in wedding-related activities. Every pregnancy is different, and each person will have varying levels of comfort and energy. Some may be eager to continue overseeing makeup artists or floral arrangements, while others may opt out for a more relaxed role. The friend’s choices should always be respected, and open communication has to be maintained right up to the special day as pregnancy and things the bridesmaid can do may change. 

    Image credits: Caleb Oquendo / Pexels (not the actual photo)

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    There are various ways to ensure maximum comfort for the expecting bridesmaids during wedding festivities

    In order to ensure the friend’s maximum comfort and inclusion in the wedding festivities, Goldberg advises selecting a bridesmaid attire company that has plenty of options for expecting mothers. “Assigning a color and fabric but allowing bridesmaids to select their style will ensure that your pregnant bridesmaid won’t stand out in a bad way.”

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    She adds, “If the wedding is late in the pregnancy, perhaps have an extra empty seat in the front row, just in case the bridesmaid needs to sit down during the ceremony.”

    There are also certain foods mothers-to-be can’t have, like raw fish, eggs, cured meats, and unpasteurized cheese. Being aware of them and trying to avoid them completely could be the safest way to go. Including fun food extras and fabulous non-alcoholic beverages or cocktails could make the celebration for pregnant bridesmaids that much more pleasant and exciting. 

    If it’s a destination wedding, the friend might not even be able to attend it, as some destinations are off-limits to pregnant women due to the Zika virus, and long flights are often not recommended in the third trimester. When that happens, the bride may continue including her in the pre- and post-wedding celebrations; just make sure to set up a Zoom or a FaceTime call during the ceremony. 

    Even if there’s a last-minute dropout, that’s okay too. Knowing they have their friend’s support, expecting bridesmaids will be more relaxed about prioritizing their and their baby’s health.

    The readers believed her reaction to be adequate

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    Austeja Zokaitė

    Austeja Zokaitė

    Writer, Community member

    Read more »

    Hi, glad you swung by! My name is Austėja, and in the past, I was a writer at Bored Panda. In my time here, I’ve covered some fun topics such as scrungy cats and pareidolia, as well as more serious ones about mental health and relationship hiccups. You can check them out below! I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoyed writing them:)

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    Austeja Zokaitė

    Austeja Zokaitė

    Writer, Community member

    Hi, glad you swung by! My name is Austėja, and in the past, I was a writer at Bored Panda. In my time here, I’ve covered some fun topics such as scrungy cats and pareidolia, as well as more serious ones about mental health and relationship hiccups. You can check them out below! I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoyed writing them:)

    What do you think ?
    Anna Ekberg
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow, this is not a friend, this is person you should watch your back from or you will end up with a knife between your shoulders.

    Little Miss Lady
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yikes! With "friends" like that, who needs enemies? Op is right on for going NC. That lady sounds unhinged and her behavior is very concerning to say the least. I'm honestly worried for the future and overall well-being of her child. I sincerely hope she gets therapy asap.

    Tenebre
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Seeing someone else's milestone accomplishments as a personal attack is crazy. Definitely needs some therapy. Sucks for the other friends in this group, they're going to be dumped on for a while. But... it's also pretty terrible that OPs other friends KNEW about this before the wedding, and before any of this happened. They should've told OP so she could address it.

    Vinnie
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That also jumped out of me: the woman's nutty contention that the OP shouldn't get married until *after* she herself has gotten married. Envy can happen, but there's no rule that other people have to put off major events so that someone else can "catch up" - it's not effing leap frog! There are more positive examples of taking turns: friends taking turns paying the bill; two actors taking turns playing the lead in a play; family members choosing vacation spots (the Dad called Disney World "a totalitarian state", but hey, it was the 9-year-old's turn to chose the best-vacation-ever, LOL).

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    Anna Ekberg
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow, this is not a friend, this is person you should watch your back from or you will end up with a knife between your shoulders.

    Little Miss Lady
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yikes! With "friends" like that, who needs enemies? Op is right on for going NC. That lady sounds unhinged and her behavior is very concerning to say the least. I'm honestly worried for the future and overall well-being of her child. I sincerely hope she gets therapy asap.

    Tenebre
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Seeing someone else's milestone accomplishments as a personal attack is crazy. Definitely needs some therapy. Sucks for the other friends in this group, they're going to be dumped on for a while. But... it's also pretty terrible that OPs other friends KNEW about this before the wedding, and before any of this happened. They should've told OP so she could address it.

    Vinnie
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That also jumped out of me: the woman's nutty contention that the OP shouldn't get married until *after* she herself has gotten married. Envy can happen, but there's no rule that other people have to put off major events so that someone else can "catch up" - it's not effing leap frog! There are more positive examples of taking turns: friends taking turns paying the bill; two actors taking turns playing the lead in a play; family members choosing vacation spots (the Dad called Disney World "a totalitarian state", but hey, it was the 9-year-old's turn to chose the best-vacation-ever, LOL).

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