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Poor Folks Dated Rich People And Here Are 31 Things They Learned
Article created by: Rūta Zumbrickaitė
The divide between rich and poor is only widening as the middle class steadily disappears. The difference between the haves and the have nots gets even more stark when you consider the shrinking job market and the strain the global economy is under.
Someone asked the internet, “Poor people who dated rich people, what did you learn?” and netizens were only too happy to weigh in with their own experiences of dating across the income gap. Here’s a collection of some of the most poignant.
More info: Reddit
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#2
Not dated but was best friends with. They will never truly be able to even begin to comprehend your struggles, and therefore they will constantly dismiss and minimize your problems, which will lead you to be extremely frustrated. Trying to explain to someone that you can’t afford takeout and need them to do their dishes right now so you can cook, while they are telling you to just order out and put it on a credit card, most of the time it’s not worth the friendship.
#5
Married a rich person. Regular problems arise but also unbelievably silly problems that only happen when you have too much money and no real problems so you gotta make some up. Extended family is building a 2 million dollar custom home in a rural area and are deeply distraught that the specialty plumbing expert they need to fly in from Norway in will cost $$$ to get a *consult,* which does not include install nor the inevitable future maintenance. Dawg you do not need fancy European plumbing in rural Idaho trust me.
#7
Idea that having the money = having the controls, and being shocked when you’re just not impressed,.
#8
That most are actually way more humble than your larping rich person. Theres a huge difference in how the woman with the Gucci belt, LV bag, and a negative balance will treat you vs. The man in head to toe TJ Maxx but has 2mil in his account.
#9
That they are often insulated from the experience of peasant life. I was working 12 hour shifts in an industrial kitchen trying to save up enough for my next semester of college. Her friend (whose house had a fully stocked kitchen that only 'the staff' ever used) heard that I was working to pay for school and therefore could not take time off to go on a vacation. She took a moment to think about my situation, looked concerned with her furrowed brow, and then finally asked "why don't you just tell your parents? school is a good thing, of course they'll want to pay for that.".
#10
Money insulates the family from accountability. The behavior I'd see out of them sometimes over the smallest things was shocking.
#11
That even when they struggled in the early days, most have them forgotten what it’s like to not have money. They lose touch with reality real quick. A couple thousand here and there is nothing, meanwhile we live paycheck to paycheck(ish) and they cant understand why.
#12
Money doesn’t make good parents, and bad parents plus unlimited resources just makes bad people.
#13
I find wealthy men make the best lovers.
Is that true?
No, but if you tell them that sometimes they give you their credit card and let you loose in the mall for an hour.
#14
Equestrianism is a ***thing***
Also, pretty much any labor you can imagine, there is a service pool you can hire for it.
#18
I learned how to play golf.
Her dad always wanted to chat with me about my future, plans, business opportunities, college choices.... Etc.
And he always wanted to discuss these over a round of golf at the country club.
I really hate golf.
Also, apparently $100k means nothing? Dude literally offered to buy me a new Mercedes, and have my old beater truck "disposed of".
#19
You can have all the money and the world and still have bad tastes. He would offer me his card to go get stuff to make his 4,800 sq house feel like someone actually lived there. Otherwise it just had sparse ugly furniture and posters scattered around.
#21
That rich people are not evil. So many wealthy folks are incredibly giving, considerate and kind. I was raised in a household that preached those with money are selfish, self centered, and evil.
#22
No matter how humble and rational one is, dating someone several tax brackets higher will test one's ego and self worth.
#23
I grew up in what I can only describe as the identical median income household and had a decent job, so not poor, but I dated a woman who I met while she was in Law School who's family was very rich. The subconscious expectations were overwhelming. I would plan a little surprise and she would expect something like a trip to Europe... She wasn't trying to make me feel bad, her expectations were just so high from the world she grew up in.
EDIT - Just to be clear and fair it wasn't directly a money thing. If I planned a super romantic grand gesture she would like it even if it cost very little money. It's just the disconnect. She grew up in a family with an amazing mom who had all the time and money in the world to plan super nice gestures for her kids and a partner with a full time job just couldn't compete with the subconscious expectations that that created. And I definitely could have done better with a lot of it. The disconnect between us on this issue, with almost none of it having to do with money was the problem.
#24
My college girlfriend of five years dropped me like a hot potato when her IBM vice president father passed away and left her a huge amount of company stock and in addition valuable real estate. My girlfriend found out that she was an heiress when somebody in the middle the night dropped off the will of her late mother that left most of the family assets to her.
My girlfriend had nothing to do with her family because her father was an absolute bully, but the minute she got her hands on significant dough suddenly I was not good enough for her. The class separation, in particular when the woman is from a well-off family is an absolute brutal fact. 40 years later this experience still hurts.
#26
I wouldn't say I was poor by the time. Did, but I grew up very poor.
They were rich enough that they just didn't even really think about paying student loans.
2 key things I learnt were:
1. They thought simply having money meant you were good with it
2. They had no concept of risk, sunk costs, or whether something was sensible as a stance (on anything, really). It was very clear it was all just about what they would like to do/have happen/believe is right in a perfect world. Not what is the better option in our circumstances, how real world restraints actually impacted it.
And to be clear, I don't just mean financially.
#27
A lot of people want to pretend to be their friend and take advantage of them! Like, A LOT! They assumed I was doing the same and would talk openly about it to me… it was honestly disgusting!
#28
My ex-girlfriend's family was a stratosphere higher than my upbringing financially.
1. Constantly compared to members of their family and never can "match up" to their expectations
2. Huge difference in norms and what is acceptable or how things are handled ex. A summer bbq is a polo and slacks/fancy dress shorts event, not t-shirt and shorts
3. They keep personal events within the house to a creepy extent. "We don't talk about the family outside the house" I was specifically told. Whereas growing up poor, everyone knows your business.
#31
They will initially enjoy being themselves with you, as in themselves before they were rich. They will dote on you and buy you stuff (for whatever you are bringing to the relationship be it companionship or whatever).
And then, if it’s still going good, they will subtly try to change you, as they try to integrate you into their crowd, your clothing, your view on things (if they differ widely) and it will be up to you whether or not to do so.
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