“A Blessing In Disguise”: Everyday Women Flaunt Their “Ugly Privilege” Online

“Being ugly is a blessing in disguise.”

A group of young women are taking to TikTok to explain why they feel satisfied with what they refer to as “ugly privilege.”

The common thread among these individuals is their belief that not conforming to societal beauty standards for women protects them from being objectified by men.

“Why do I feel like being ugly is a privilege?” asked @eatsleepandrepent online. “I don’t need to worry about being catcalled. It’s so much safer with this look. If you’re average-looking or ugly, men treat you like a normal person.

“They don’t try to flirt with you; they talk to you in a normal tone,” she continued. “They don’t see you as a woman; they see you as a human. And that is a good thing cause not every woman wants to be hit on by random men.”

A group of women has taken to TikTok to defend what they refer to as “ugly privilege”

Image credits: Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦

@eatsleepandrepent added that she has a “good-looking friend” who gets flirtatious messages from men daily, a situation that makes her feel really uncomfortable. 

Another reason why the young woman feels thankful for her “average” looks is that she can impress people more easily.

“When you’re ugly, average, or not physically attractive, people don’t put too much expectations on you. So, when you do something great, that’s unpredictable, and it shocks people.”

Image credits: cottonbro studio

According to amultidisciplinary study published in the US National Library of Medicine, physically attractive individuals are more likely to be interviewed for jobs and hired, they are more likely to advance rapidly in their careers through frequent promotions, and they earn higher wages than people considered unattractive.

Appearance-based discrimination may include bias against obese and tattooed candidates or anyone who doesn’t fit society’s dominant definition of beauty.

“Biases in favor of attractive women appear to be more consistent or stronger than those in favor of attractive men,” the study notes.

In a similar fashion, model Willow Allenmade a video describing her “pretty girl privilege,” which includes free meals at restaurants or getting into nightclubs without paying a cent.

Not conforming to societal beauty standards allows them to feel protected from unwanted male attention

Image credits: sarahs.tok

Image credits: sarahs.tok

Image credits: sarahs.tok

Another “Plain Jane” benefit listed by @eatsleepandrepent is not appearing as a threat in the eyes of Gigi Hadid-looking women. “I know some pretty women out there who see other pretty women as their competitors,” she says. “If you’re ugly, average, or not physically attractive, you’re harmless, and they don’t see you as their rivals, so you can easily become friends.”

“For the most part, men think I’m ugly, and they leave me alone, and to me, that’s a privilege,” says user @sarahs.tok

@sarahs.tok just a little explanation of what i mean when i say i have “ugly privilege”. #uglyprivilege#letmeexplain#doesthismakesense♬ original sound – Sarah

Similarly, user @sarahs.tok shares the idea of “ugly privilege” as a shield against unwanted male attention.

“When I say I have ‘ugly privilege,’ it’s not that I necessarily think that I am an ugly individual,” Sarah says. “What I mean by that is men, in general, don’t find me attractive. For the most part, men think I’m ugly, and they leave me alone, and to me, that’s a privilege.”

“I don’t need to worry about being catcalled. It’s so much safer with this look. If you’re average-looking or ugly, men treat you like a normal person,” adds @eatsleepandrepent

@eatsleepandrepent being ugly is a blessing in disguise #beautyprivilege♬ original sound – rub bunny – MAGDIARY

Other women have commented how not fitting society’s definition of “beautiful” allows them to feel safer while doing activities alone at night, like taking a walk or getting gas for their car.

In the United States, 85% of men report feeling safe when walking alone at night compared to 64% of women, according to theGallup World Poll. Unless 64% of the female respondents conform to societal beauty standards for women—an unlikely scenario given that this group represents over half of the respondents—it appears that the feeling of unsafety experienced by women does not discriminate based on appearance.

Many have even described “being ugly” as a “blessing”

@emeraldswrlduncut blesssed frr thoooo😫 #fyp#boston#prettyinmyownway♬ original sound – emeralduncut

@chewonmybaca Being ugly is great, 10/10 #2020Wrapped♬ original sound – 💖

The TikTokers’ videos on “ugly privilege” received thousands of comments, with many women sharing their experiences of feeling uncomfortable with the male gaze.

“I gained weight and actually really liked no longer having that attention. I never thought about it as ‘ugly privilege,’ but I love this!” one of them wrote.

In the United States, 85% of men report feeling safe when walking alone at night compared to 64% of women

Image credits: MART PRODUCTION

“I used to crave male attention when I was younger, but as I approached 30, I started to realize how nice it was to be basically ignored,” another TikTok user shared

Image credits: RDNE Stock project

The idea of “ugly privilege” questions the notion of “pretty girl privilege”

@jaden.jadunandan 3 signs that you have pretty privilege. #selfimprovement#lifeadvice#prettyprivilege#beauty♬ Resonance – Home

@willow.allen♬ Blade Runner 2049 – Synthwave Goose

@nocontextyagass Its the little tings #nocontextyagass♬ original sound – Toxic Superhero

“This is such a great way to see it, thank you. This is a very helpful way to reframe not getting much male attention,” said another.

A third commenter chimed in, “I used to crave male attention when I was younger, but as I approached 30, I started to realize how nice it was to be basically ignored.”

“I have this privilege! Married 22 yrs to a guy who adores me…but I RARELY have to deal with men feeling like I really want to hear from them,” a separate woman added.

“I move around in the background unseen,” another woman commented, agreeing with the idea of  there being an “ugly privilege”

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