Guy Bans His 20 Y.O. Picky Eater BIL From His Home After He Lost His Temper Over Not Being Able To Order Pizza Hut
It’s likely that when many of you hear the term “picky eater,” you imagine a toddler turning their nose up at broccoli during mealtime, but a fair share of adults also struggle with consuming an extremely narrow repertoire of foods.
This Redditor’s brother-in-law isn’t an exception. The guy’s in his twenties, with a diet consisting of junk, which, if you think about it, is no one’s concern but his own – however, the constant tantrums over food finally led to the author’s decision to ban him from his house.
More info: Reddit | Daniel O’Shaughnessy | Daniel’s book
Man prohibits his brother-in-law, who’s a picky eater, from entering his house until he “learns to behave”
Image credits: RODNAE Productions (not the actual image)
On the grounds that he kicked up a fuss at a family gathering over not being able to order Pizza Hut
Image credits: ELEVATE (not the actual image)
Image credits: Dan Keck (not the actual image)
Image source: u/mf9769
“AITA for banning my picky eater BIL from my house and telling him he’s not welcome until I say he is?” – this internet user took to one of Reddit’s most honorable communities to ask its members if it was a jerk move to ban his brother-in-law from his house for constantly throwing tantrums over food. The post managed to garner nearly 7K upvotes as well as 799 comments discussing the situation.
Did you know that according to a 2022 piece from The Washington Post, Hana Zickgraf, an assistant professor of psychology who studies eating behavior at the University of South Alabama, has estimated that roughly 30% of people identify as picky eaters?
Now, when it comes to children, selective eating is very common, and even if there’s no one-size-fits-all cause as to why it happens, there are two feasible possibilities: some kids are naturally more sensitive to smells, tastes, and textures, while others develop such habits by simply copying their parents’ diet.
Regardless, tackling fussy eating in childhood is a much more doable job, as there’s always a responsible guardian who’s willing to go above and beyond, which is why many tend to outgrow their quirky eating habits. However, when you’re a grown adult, that’s a whole different problem.
First and foremost, everyone is different, and sometimes the efforts don’t play out as well as one would hope. So while you’re very much likely to ditch your childhood food preferences, some may still hang on to their dislikes, and what makes it all worse is that there’s a lot of stigma around adult picky eaters.
There’s no sympathy, and such people are frequently viewed as spoiled and childish. But what most fail to realize is that this, often branded a “kids’ whim,” is not something that folks can just get over. Moreover, in addition to being officially recognized as an eating disorder, experts claim that severe cases of picky eating may also have traumatic origins.
But is this really the case for the author’s brother-in-law?
The OP’s wife and his MIL agree with his decision – however, his dad fears that they might change their opinion
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual image)
For starters, although “J,” the brother-in-law in question, indeed seems to be struggling with picky eating, his primary issue appears to be his penchant for throwing tantrums.
However, what’s worth noting is that the overall character of the post pushes more on the relationship aspect between the two rather than the guy’s issue with food. The original poster claims that he banned his family member from his home because of his “pouting, yelling, and screaming” that ensued after the 20-year-old found that there was nothing for him to eat, as his safe choice, Pizza Hut, was closed – but why didn’t the family prepare in advance, if they know that J doesn’t do well outside his diet? Plus, we can’t skip over the multiple mentions of J being a smoker, which only adds to the fact that there’s a lot more to this altercation.
To get an expert opinion on the situation, Bored Panda reached out to Daniel O’Shaughnessy, an award-winning nutritionist and mindset coach based in London, UK. Daniel has been in clinical practice for over ten years and is the author of Naked Nutrition: An LGBTQ+ Guide to Diet & Lifestyle, which is the first book of its kind to focus on the nutritional needs of the LGBTQ+ population.
First things first, we asked Daniel what it means to be a “picky eater”: “There’s a difference between picky eating and someone not eating what you want them to eat. From the blog, it sounds like the author is having an emotive response. It does not reference picky eating as the core problem, more that the family member has a preference for fried food over a salad. Picky eating is more about disliking food based on textures, taste, etc. If I’m honest, it sounds like the ‘picky eater’ doesn’t enjoy spending time with the author. The references to marijuana in the blog seem irrelevant, especially to someone categorised as a ‘picky eater’. Better practice would be to engage the person on a one-to-one level rather than posting on a forum where he can be easily identified based on description.
The author states that ‘No one should cater to you unless you have dietary needs (allergies, kosher/halal/Hindu, etc.)’ – why not?”
“It’s hard to say what is common and uncommon as picky eating is an umbrella term, as the definition is subjective. For example, a vegan or someone following a gluten-free diet may be regarded as a picky eater to some. If someone truly has certain dislikes around taste or texture, this can be a result of certain factors – such as childhood trauma or adverse childhood events, being made to eat certain things or having to finish all of your meal, lack of education around what food is healthy, or perhaps even biochemical imbalances – but it’s very hard to pinpoint exactly what,” the nutritionist said when we pondered how common picky eating is and what the possible causes are.
Lastly, Daniel added: “The first step to handling adult picky eaters is to establish an open line of communication. Preaching to someone about your own idea of what to and what not to eat is purposeless. If someone is a picky eater wanting to change, small alterations such as one or two dietary changes a week will ensure a positive mindset and lasting changes. In my book, Naked Nutrition: An LGBTQ+ Guide to Diet and Lifestyle, I explain the foundation for these changes.”
What do you think about the situation?
Fellow online community members shared their thoughts and opinions on the situation
I'm on the Autism spectrum and I see a lot of flags here. And the tantrums lead me to believe that he hasn't learned the skills that most of us get growing up- emotional regulation. I hope he gets the help he needs.
No kidding, and ditto. The more I read, the more I said to myself; sounds like this guy is on the spectrum but has never been diagnosed. Ignoring the problem won't make it go away, and in fact, it makes the problem worse. The parents are AHs for dealing with this in the way they have. The OP is not an AH for not wanting to deal with it when the parents pretend there's no problem.
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The In-laws are AH if they refuse to get J tested. This behaviour is not normal, is unconnected to the weed smoking (unless he started that as a preteen, it's unlikely to have led to a change in his behaviour, and even then, it wouldn't be tantrums as a result), and either means they've raised an entitled man-child, or he has mental health issues that need to be addressed. But this is 100% on his parents, not OP. His parents don't want him falling out with the in-laws when the in-laws already agree with him? That's enough projection for an IMAX.
The pot could be self medicating. Dude obviously has some issues.
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Schizophrenia? nah, I have schizophrenia and I aint that picky. Sounds like Autism food aversion, and he'll only eat what he's comfortable with. I also am autistic and was like this as a child, would only eat the same around 3 or 4 different meals over and over, but I had therapy and such and saw a dietician, now I'll eat all sorts. The tantrum throwing over not getting his way also screams "autism" to me. (another thing therapy helped me a lot with emotional regulation) But he still needs to learn that tantrums don't get him what he wants, and I feel like the parents are enabling the behaviour. OP definitely is NTA, brother is kinda the AH but parents are probably the biggest AH here for enabling the brother, who may benefit from psychiatric help and possibly a dietician.
I was thinking the same thing. When OP said that his nurse friend said that J may be schizophrenic, I was like, no no no no. That ain't schizophrenia, that's more towards being Autistic than anything. And with the in-laws, oh Lord. Those people are such enablers it's not even funny. They seem to be the type to think that vaccines are bad since they're so old-fashioned.
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I have food-related sensory issues. If I’m concerned, I eat a little bit beforehand and just have snacks or side dishes that I can eat. Mediterranean food is great for me, lots of rice and veggies and stuff that’s not to slimy or gristly.
I don't understand why the in-laws don't pick up food for their son before they go to someone's home
Right?? Either the parents or (gasp!) the son could do this. His tantrums are entirely predictable, so why not prevent them? It's so bizarre.
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Okay, so autism spectrum is possible, and that should be explored. However, I've known grown "men" in their early twenties who acted like this who were not autistic or anything like that. They were entitled with parents who spoiled them and catered to their whims. My friend's ex was like this when he did not get his way, it was horribly embarrassing for her, and turned into a really abusive situation which thankfully she got out of. Before they broke up though, I literally ejected him from my car once and left his a*s on the side of the road. If I gotta pull over to the side of the road to discipline you for throwing an unreasonable screaming fit in the backseat and you are not an actual child, you ain't getting back in my vehicle!
I may be a jerk for saying this, but spectrum issues or not, it's OP's house and he doesn't have to put up with that sh*t. I had a neighbor with an Autistic kid and I wouldn't let him in my house anymore - he had tantrums, broke things, threw an ashtray (it was a long time ago) and put a huge dent in the wall. I felt bad for his Mom because she obviously didn't really know how to deal with it, but it wasn't my problem to solve.
You’re not a jerk because you have a perfectly valid point.
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As someone who is neurodivergent and who has autistic siblings, I can tell you that this behavior is, regardless of what causes it, 100% unacceptable and OP has EVERY right to tell BIL he isn't welcome if he behaves that way in his home.
Yep. I've had full on meltdowns in airports in my twenties, before I was diagnosed, because I was overwhelmed and couldn't figure out why and it really made me angry. I always felt terrible after and sought ways to deal with it on my own, and it got easier - it still sucks even now, and I'm constantly anxious, but able to handle it. I'm lucky that I'm able to self-regulate, since some genuinely can't. But it's never anyone else's responsibility and the neurodivergence is only ever a reason, not an excuse. This guy's parents are enabling him and they really need to stop.
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I got one of these guys in my husbands side of the family. Until the parents put their feet down an either kick him out or cut him off from everyone he tries to get away with the c**p he continues to do it. There's nothing wrong w my nephew in law. He's an entitled pos. Simple as that. No discipline growing up. Still yells an throws fits. He's mid 30s an no one wants him around. He lives at home w his parents. Mooching all the time. Big computer gaming dork that plays online vs small children. Gets bans constantly for language and trying to trick kids into getting parents credit cards to pay for stuff in the game to him. He doesn't work. Doesn't buy anything. Has a kid he basically has his mom raise for him. And going out to eat? We don't want him around. He's not allowed booze because he gets even more belligerent to staff an family. More than once he's been escorted out and brought home because he can't behave. Which ruins it for the whole family. Cut this guy off and say bye.
Simply put, dude us 20, he either has some sort of mental issues or disability or his parents screwed him up really badly. He is old enough to understand warnings and, if not, his parents should get him to psychiatrist and have his issues resolved. Like seriously, this isn't kid anymore. And just because he has issues with food and stuff, that doesn't excuse tantrums. So OP is perfectly in the right fir telling him that he is not welcome there and parents there have only themselves to blame gor not dealing with his issues. World really doesn't need more adult babies. Like I get it that it can be annoying sometimes when things go wrong, but you don't throw tantrums and stuff.
Autistic meltdowns are not "tantrums", they are symptoms of a condition and are involuntary. We don't "choose" to have a meltdown any more than someone with a broken leg "chooses" to have a limp.
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Mom of 3. Two of my kids are on the autism spectrum. They are adults now. These behaviors screamed autism to me. Sensory issues. Stop catering to him. His parents should have investigated all these concerns far earlier, but it's not too late, and we can't critique because we don't know the backstory in why they didn't. The behaviors are just ingrained now, which will be 120x harder to undo. It's got to be tough love from this point forward. "This is what we are having for dinner. You can choose to stay home alone or come but tantrums and refusals are not allowed...what do you want to choose? It's your choice" Give him choices. You probably aren't going to convince the parents to start the hard tough love approach, but you can control to work it or not. He sounds incredibly immature. Could be the weed stunted his maturity at the age the drugs were begun. Meaning if he started weed at 14, he could have the mentality of a 14 year. Good luck.
Deff not the weed. Took a drugs class n weed has the least negative side effects of all major drugs. If anything his likely autism is whats causing his need for it (habitual) as weed is also nonaddictive. Actually weed should help with calming his temper 🤔 OP did say J lost his vape pen just before the blow up
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Well, those inlaws sure haven't raised their kid right. Clearly the BIL has mental health issues that are not being adressed. If it was just about denying a guest food they can tolerate (even if you don't understand why it's important to them) you would be an a*****e in my book. But when it's about screaming temper tantrums by an adult in your house.. Yeah no. Ban them.
I don't understand. At 20 years old, why is he not getting his own food and bringing it with him? He should be managing his own food issues. Something is wrong, either he's developmentally delayed, or has autism, and the parents are not doing him any favors by ignoring this. He needs help!
I know the downvote fairies are going to be having a field day with me, but frankly, I don't care. The BIL may well be on the spectrum or whatever else the self-appointed experts diagnose. But sometimes people can still be good, old fashioned, spoilt brats that have been indulged far too long.
I'm autistic. Someone can be both autistic and a spoiled brat. They can be autistic and an a**hole. They can be autistic and suffer from mental illness. These things are not mutually exclusive. Regardless of what's been going on with him, I agree he's been indulged far too long. It might be too late for that kid, and that's the parents' fault.
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I think it's fair to say this guy might have some undiagnosed issues that could do with a resolution; however, the fact this BIL has not been taught to handle these issues in a grown up way makes me think he and his parents are the A's. It's one thing to have sensory issues and associated difficulties, but to throw tantrums like that at that age is not okay.
I guess I’m a semi-picky eater (I’m a vegetarian, my digestive system rebels against fast food and things that are “too” greasy, I hate cooked mushrooms - great for a vegetarian, and I try to avoid processed foods), but DAMN. That guy clearly needs a psych evaluation. I’m glad the OP is aware but it sounds like a futile scenario with the parents being totally in denial. Sucks all around.
Don't let people call you picky or semi picky for eating healthy. Eat what you choose!
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Don't want to be a b***h, but Autism runs in a family, schizophrenia either. Better research before having kids.
It can but it can also occasionally just crop up in a family. Sadly minimal is know as to how someone gets it (they know the cause just not what causes that cause to cause if that makes sense) inherent can be a factor for sure but not always so it is good to know the signs
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Another name for picky eater is pain in the a*s. George Carlin. I have a picky eater in the family, I've missed gatherings because it's Always drama just to go out to eat . We can only go to "approved" restaurants I don't like (but we all have to cater to the one pain in the a*s eater) At this point I've developed zero tolerance policies towards them . We the family says "we can't go there because x won't eat it " I reply, ",then they can stay home I'm tired of eating the same thing every time because One person feels she can dictate what everyone else gets. . If you're to picky to join the group, leave the group.
Why can't X get a meal she can eat, and bring it with her to the restaurant? Then y'all can eat wherever you want.
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Goodness what a nightmare. This man is now a 20 year-old non-functioning adult without a diagnosis of whatever it is that causes his unreasonable behaviours. What are the parents going to do with him when he gets older? Does he work or do they still support him, buying him that marijauna? If he is actually autistic, they did him no favours not getting him tested and into some kind of treatment to help him live in this crazy world, where most of us have a difficult enough time. He wouldn’t be eligible for any kind of insurance coverage now, presumably not being a student. Is he lost? That’s very sad. No one will want to be around him if he ruins family get-togethers with his nonsense, which is just going to escalate.
As a parent of a child with sensory issues and who is on the spectrum as well, I would say he needs to be evaluated and get some help to help him overcome his eating issues. His health is taking a beating because of all the processed foods he is eating
I think NTA and normally I'd be on the OP for the attitude towards picky eaters - I hope he learns better, but J needs help and such too, can't keep having meltdowns, sometimes life happens. I really hope he gets evaluated, maybe some therapy too. It won't fix the food issue but it can help J with his emotions.
I mean it's not a cure but it is meant to be about helping J manage himself, whether its something like what I have, autism or something else; professional help is absolutely needed.
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I have worked with a lot of kids on the spectrum at all levels but this behavior from this young man is appalling! His parents have done him a serious injustice as far as socialization and therapy. And YES, HE NEEDS HELP! But, so do his parents so they can help him be better suited for the future. I have to say that every child needs boundaries, no matter who they are. It sounds like his parents decided to give in instead of say no and stand their ground. You are not the problem, your in laws are. I feel sorry for "J", because of his parents, no one will want to be around him!😞
"award-winning nutritionist and mindset coach based in London, UK. Daniel has been in clinical practice for over ten years and is the author of Naked Nutrition: An LGBTQ+ Guide to Diet & Lifestyle", This is how an article turns into a lame a*s joke. Next time try to use an award winning toilet seat as your professional opinion source.
I don’t understand why his father was attested because he run away???? He’s an adult, why his father has to be jailed for that??
NTA. He might be on the spectrum, but the enabling of his family for years and his incessant smoking weed, surely have exasperated the problem. When you are enabled for so long, that is a problem. It is an addicts best trick, to get everyone to jump, when their needs are not met and he is playing his family like a fine tuned instrument. He may have some mental issues, but the long term drug addiction and enabling by loved ones, is a much bigger problem. Choking it all up to "being on the spectrum", is another form of enabling. There is more going on and he definitely needs help.
He needs more help than Pizza Hut can provide. I wouldn't want him in my home either if he's just a time bomb waiting to go off if he doesn't get what he wants.
There's no way that this kid isn't on the spectrum. No way in hell. And he doesn't sound like he has a lot of people who understand on either side. And yes, 20's a kid. Way too many people go by the government's idiotic and arbitrary deadline(which only exists so they can start using you as soon as possible).
Oh my god! Why is everyone immediately jumping on the mental illness bandwagon. He has been catered to for everything in life. This man-child is obviously a spoiled brat that has gotten worse the older he gets and the more he gets away with it. He throws a tantrum they get him what he wants.
Everyone is "jumping on the mental illness bandwagon" because while he is indeed a spoiled brat, these behaviors are obvious symptoms of mental illness...
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I'd anonymously report his parents to social services for medical neglect or something. But first try to get him, preferably out of state, in a program that can get him diagnosed. Work on his behaviour & teach him everything he needs to know to function. That then places him in a group home with lots of support. Not to mention therapy. There's something seriously wrong with him & he's going to end up in the state psychiatric system. Where they'll probably fail him & who knows where he'll end up. It's better to contact resources now. Also he's now an adult so while probably not possible you could get him to sign himself in. Also he NEEDS to be tested for Autism & a psychiatric ward won't necessarily do that. They're only there to get him well enough to hopefully safely go home.
unfortunately since he's over 18 this isn't going to do anything - they'll just say he has every right to leave. While this guy definitely needs help, social services won't do anything.
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No, definitely not the AH. I have a 10 and 11 yo. They can be picky so on their visits every weekend during school and every second week in holidays/summer I take them with me to the grocery store and they help decide the weeks suppers. Since doing things this way I've almost completely cut down on waste and save a lot more money. Thing is they're 10 and 11. Being fussy and throwing fits at 20 is just self centered and inconsiderate not to mention an all out spoiled brat. 20yo needs a real attitude adjustment.
Why the Sam Hill does it have to be Pizza Hut. It's no better than Little Caesar's, what with so few toppings from which to choose. Even frozen pizza from the grocery store is better.
OP is NTA. The in-laws sure are, though. Denying that their kid has neurological issues will entirely cripple his potential as an adult. It's neglectful and abusive. I'm on the spectrum and get the food texture issues, though I haven't thrown a tantrum since I was 2 and I was diagnosed at age 40. The tantrum thing is odd, even for ASD. Usually by adulthood, unless the individual has fairly severe intellectual disabilities as part of their condition, even those of us with undiagnosed ASD have learned basic emotional regulation as a matter of social survival. That level of meltdown over food is not common for someone who appears to be otherwise a basically functioning adult, unless he has intellectual disabilities OP doesn't see. He's right at the age where schizophrenia often manifests in males, and his weed could be self-medicating. ASD and shizophrenia can be comorbid. Anyhow, J needs a good psychiatrist who will work with him over time to get a proper picture of what's wrong.
Ok how is the FIL on his side when he literally got put in jail by him. Also what the heck is wrong with him?! They raised (and probably still raising) a literal psychopath
What kind of parents even allow this behavior to happen. Or to not investigate to see if something medically is wrong with him?
NTA but if you're worried about losing the in-laws, here's a compromise: the jerk can come back but only on 2 conditions: 1, he be responsible for his own food at his own expense and 2, that he have his food with him when he arrives (no ordering from or deliveries to your house).
It is a pity, that you cannot count on someone who gets to a hospital of a kind being sorted out for problems that might have caused the person to get into a hospital in the first place.
not the a*s he was a picky eater and regardless should have eaten what was there and you warned him if that happen again you would not let him into your house anymore
Omg, I'm on the ASD spectrum and have really bad sensory issues with food and clothing but, man... just the thought of throwing a temper tantrum because of not getting the food I want? I can't even fathom doing such a thing. But, on the other hand, he could be on the spectrum and have it more severely than I do. A lot of people can go undiagnosed well into adulthood so he might not know and just doesn't know any healthy ways of dealing with things like not having the food he wants. Still though, I don't think OP is the AH here. It's their home and J is an adult. OP definitely had the right to ask him not to come over.
Your BIL needs help. Smoking aside his behavior is not normal. I hope by this time he has gotten help. Many people in our family including my dear husband of 36 years have food allergies. Me, I’ll admit I’m a picky eater. I have some stuff I flat do not like. I do not throw myself down and throw a fit. In our family we often have giant family get together meals, we check the menu beforehand and if it is not dietary appropriate, we bring something that the person can eat. Again, these are serious food allergies, not for instance in my case I simply don’t like a lot of something. I won’t get angry, I’ll act gracious and find something else. I certainly do not make a big deal about ordering out, nor do I act like a brat if the order is incorrect. Your BIL needs psychiatric evaluation for what’s going on. He is self medicating which is possibly exasperating his issue too. Marajuana is a downer and most likely contributing to his mood swings.
YNTA. Your Dad is an idiot for thinking you should cater to BIL after numerous warnings regarding his behavior. Even IF (and that's a big if) this man child is autistic he needs to learn basic manners and social skills. Sounds like he is just basically a spoiled entitled brat. Your in-laws are not doing him any favors by continuing to cave to his behavior. Stand your ground, you, your wife or any other guests do not have to put up with his c**p!
NTA. This guy needs a mental health checkup. I can't believe his parents put up with this so long. A 20 year old throwing a tantrum?? WTH is wrong with his parents? He's 20. Is he in school or have a job? Does he do anything? There is a problem, other than him being a spoiled jerk. He really needs a psych evaluation. Probably exhibited signs years ago and parents did nothing.
F**k this bag of broken chromosomes. I don't care if he's "on the spectrum". He should have been trained up a long time ago. If he won't eat, let him go hungry until he gets the message. If he won't behave, have him arrested if he comes near your home. Stand your ground; you are right on this one.
I've never been diagnosed but definitely believe I'm on the spectrum. I have issues with tastes, textures and smells. Also certain music feels like an assault on my body. I cannot listen to groups like smashing pumpkins, oasis or Hawaiian music. I cannot be anywhere near someone eating yogurt or cilantro. My husband loves beans and all kinds of legumes. I've really tried eating these types of foods because they are healthy but I just can't do it
Studying/majoring in psychology and yea seems like he is on the autism spectrum i dont think its schizophrenia but he seems VERY particular on foods n routines which checks out. The fact the parents cater to this rather than try n break him of it also doesnt help (nor does not getting tests done) by 20 sadly there isnt much they can do now as his habits have been treated as fine so there minimal chance he will change by now...NTA for not approving his behavior but sadly he wont learn to behave :/
Your first mistake is the weed. If he abuses it as you claim, then it is affecting his brain. Despite what the proponents of it says Weed does affect the brain and can cause damage if smoked too much especially if it is a strong blend and, depending on where he gets it, a lot of times it can be mixed with other drugs. I know that it would be a hassle because your in-laws have let him get away with whatever he wants but he needs to get off of the weed, get it out of his system which could take time and then have him evaluated for other possible issues. But, right now the Weed is your biggest problem and until he gets clean he won't change. Any drugs that alter the receptors in the brain are bad for you and people react to them differently. Weed, despite what people try to say, alters brain function and since he is only 20, if he started using it early as an adolescent while his brain was and is still developing, that alone can cause behavioral issues. Do your research.
NTA! I don't blame you. I refuse to let people act like that in my home, too! What I DON'T understand is why his parents have allowed him to act this way for so long. I would have taken my child to be tested long before 20. There are obviously issues somewhere!
He sounds like he's on the spectrum and his parents let him for undiagnosed for years. I'd bring it up to your wife and maybe she can suggest testing be done? Not sure why he hasn't been evaluated if this has been happening for years.
I have always been a picky eater and not by choice. I have issues with textures, tastes and smells. If my mouth hates it, I gag and throw it up. I have tried to eat certain things to no avail. Lots of food looks good and I try to eat it but nope, can't. I am never rude or throw a fit, though. I'd rather just not eat than cause someone issues.
The OP is wrong. Smoking weed is VERY bad for health. Young adults are having strokes and heart attacks at increasing rates that have been linked to smoking & eating cannabis. The 20 year old sounds like he's been catered-to his whole life. Boy needs to grow up and put on his big boy pants. If he acts out, he's out.
I sure hope he has been involuntarily committed so authorities can remove any guns
20 year old brat demanding Pizza Hut + weed pen = lamentable special needs case deserving our sympathy and special accommodations. Welcome to the Internet.
I hadn't read anybody here saying he deserved sympathy or accommodations. What people are saying is that if he DOES have special needs, the parents failed him and now he's a 20 year old brat that is unhappy and makes everyone unhappy. Even those who suggest he might have special needs also still say the OP is absolutely NTA. However, I'm autistic and my guess is that he's just a brat, not autistic. It's really hard to know with this limited info, though. (Autistic people can have other issues. They can have mental health issues. They can be just straight-up a**holes. They can suffer from being spoiled. These things are not mutually exclusive.)
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Sounds like he has a weed problem without professional help, prison may be the only option to sort out his brat behaviour.
I understand getting upset at his behavior, which may or may not be his fault, but he has no right banning him from his house because that is not his family. That's his wife's brother and its her decision if she doesn't want him there. He said she was on board with the decision but honestly if it were my brother I would not be ok with him telling my brother he isn't allowed in our house. That's terrible that's her brother WTF 😒
How about instead of the diagnosis from the masses being mental illness we call it what it is? He's narcissistic/spoiled/been catered to his whole life. He never has to take responsibility for his actions cause mommy and daddy continue to wipe his a*s for him. They continue to give in to his every whim. Just read his statement about finding a girl who will eat what he likes and cater to him! Enough said with that statement alone.
It is a grown a*s man, not a child. Slap some sense into him and let understand he needs to behave as an adult...
It's the ableist attitude and bringing up weed for no reason for me. It sounds like they're not asking someone with a dietary based disability what he wants then getting mad that he's not happy with the choice THEY made for him. YTA
I am always amused that instead of recognizing bad behavior as bad behavior, people always try to make everything a "mental health" issue. Some people are just spoiled brats. I have had a couple of them appear for meals that were just insufferable. Comments about the food that was being prepared. Stating their "preferences". "I really don't like tomatoes. I'm not fond of red wine. I don't eat onions. Garlic doesn't agree with me. I'm not Italian so why would I eat spaghetti?"And on . And on. I didn't wait for them to ruin it for everyone else. They were ushered out the door BEFORE we sat down to eat. The rest of us had a nice meal.
His involuntary commitment in the hospital MAY prevent him from passing a background check for an AR. But I wouldn't count on it.
I must have missed that.... The kid is planning to buy an "AR"?
Load More Replies... “He’s generally a good kid and would be a great uncle”….in what world? He a dope smoking entitled brat. No, he’s not a good person. He’s also not “on the spectrum” and all that other BS people are now using to give people excuses for bad behavior. He spent a week in a mental hospital and was diagnosed with depression (still not an excuse it’s called life). All these idiot arm chair social media doctors smh. This kid is a typical overindulged brat who has gotten away with bad behavior for his entire life. He is the baby by 10yrs and has been allowed to stay that way. Stop making excuses for him and stick to your guns.
There is a difference between making excuses for bad behavior and looking for the reasons for bad behavior in order to address the issue and resolve the bad behavior.
Load More Replies... I'm on the Autism spectrum and I see a lot of flags here. And the tantrums lead me to believe that he hasn't learned the skills that most of us get growing up- emotional regulation. I hope he gets the help he needs.
No kidding, and ditto. The more I read, the more I said to myself; sounds like this guy is on the spectrum but has never been diagnosed. Ignoring the problem won't make it go away, and in fact, it makes the problem worse. The parents are AHs for dealing with this in the way they have. The OP is not an AH for not wanting to deal with it when the parents pretend there's no problem.
Load More Replies... The In-laws are AH if they refuse to get J tested. This behaviour is not normal, is unconnected to the weed smoking (unless he started that as a preteen, it's unlikely to have led to a change in his behaviour, and even then, it wouldn't be tantrums as a result), and either means they've raised an entitled man-child, or he has mental health issues that need to be addressed. But this is 100% on his parents, not OP. His parents don't want him falling out with the in-laws when the in-laws already agree with him? That's enough projection for an IMAX.
The pot could be self medicating. Dude obviously has some issues.
Load More Replies... Schizophrenia? nah, I have schizophrenia and I aint that picky. Sounds like Autism food aversion, and he'll only eat what he's comfortable with. I also am autistic and was like this as a child, would only eat the same around 3 or 4 different meals over and over, but I had therapy and such and saw a dietician, now I'll eat all sorts. The tantrum throwing over not getting his way also screams "autism" to me. (another thing therapy helped me a lot with emotional regulation) But he still needs to learn that tantrums don't get him what he wants, and I feel like the parents are enabling the behaviour. OP definitely is NTA, brother is kinda the AH but parents are probably the biggest AH here for enabling the brother, who may benefit from psychiatric help and possibly a dietician.
I was thinking the same thing. When OP said that his nurse friend said that J may be schizophrenic, I was like, no no no no. That ain't schizophrenia, that's more towards being Autistic than anything. And with the in-laws, oh Lord. Those people are such enablers it's not even funny. They seem to be the type to think that vaccines are bad since they're so old-fashioned.
Load More Replies... I have food-related sensory issues. If I’m concerned, I eat a little bit beforehand and just have snacks or side dishes that I can eat. Mediterranean food is great for me, lots of rice and veggies and stuff that’s not to slimy or gristly.
I don't understand why the in-laws don't pick up food for their son before they go to someone's home
Right?? Either the parents or (gasp!) the son could do this. His tantrums are entirely predictable, so why not prevent them? It's so bizarre.
Load More Replies... Okay, so autism spectrum is possible, and that should be explored. However, I've known grown "men" in their early twenties who acted like this who were not autistic or anything like that. They were entitled with parents who spoiled them and catered to their whims. My friend's ex was like this when he did not get his way, it was horribly embarrassing for her, and turned into a really abusive situation which thankfully she got out of. Before they broke up though, I literally ejected him from my car once and left his a*s on the side of the road. If I gotta pull over to the side of the road to discipline you for throwing an unreasonable screaming fit in the backseat and you are not an actual child, you ain't getting back in my vehicle!
I may be a jerk for saying this, but spectrum issues or not, it's OP's house and he doesn't have to put up with that sh*t. I had a neighbor with an Autistic kid and I wouldn't let him in my house anymore - he had tantrums, broke things, threw an ashtray (it was a long time ago) and put a huge dent in the wall. I felt bad for his Mom because she obviously didn't really know how to deal with it, but it wasn't my problem to solve.
You’re not a jerk because you have a perfectly valid point.
Load More Replies... As someone who is neurodivergent and who has autistic siblings, I can tell you that this behavior is, regardless of what causes it, 100% unacceptable and OP has EVERY right to tell BIL he isn't welcome if he behaves that way in his home.
Yep. I've had full on meltdowns in airports in my twenties, before I was diagnosed, because I was overwhelmed and couldn't figure out why and it really made me angry. I always felt terrible after and sought ways to deal with it on my own, and it got easier - it still sucks even now, and I'm constantly anxious, but able to handle it. I'm lucky that I'm able to self-regulate, since some genuinely can't. But it's never anyone else's responsibility and the neurodivergence is only ever a reason, not an excuse. This guy's parents are enabling him and they really need to stop.
Load More Replies... I got one of these guys in my husbands side of the family. Until the parents put their feet down an either kick him out or cut him off from everyone he tries to get away with the c**p he continues to do it. There's nothing wrong w my nephew in law. He's an entitled pos. Simple as that. No discipline growing up. Still yells an throws fits. He's mid 30s an no one wants him around. He lives at home w his parents. Mooching all the time. Big computer gaming dork that plays online vs small children. Gets bans constantly for language and trying to trick kids into getting parents credit cards to pay for stuff in the game to him. He doesn't work. Doesn't buy anything. Has a kid he basically has his mom raise for him. And going out to eat? We don't want him around. He's not allowed booze because he gets even more belligerent to staff an family. More than once he's been escorted out and brought home because he can't behave. Which ruins it for the whole family. Cut this guy off and say bye.
Simply put, dude us 20, he either has some sort of mental issues or disability or his parents screwed him up really badly. He is old enough to understand warnings and, if not, his parents should get him to psychiatrist and have his issues resolved. Like seriously, this isn't kid anymore. And just because he has issues with food and stuff, that doesn't excuse tantrums. So OP is perfectly in the right fir telling him that he is not welcome there and parents there have only themselves to blame gor not dealing with his issues. World really doesn't need more adult babies. Like I get it that it can be annoying sometimes when things go wrong, but you don't throw tantrums and stuff.
Autistic meltdowns are not "tantrums", they are symptoms of a condition and are involuntary. We don't "choose" to have a meltdown any more than someone with a broken leg "chooses" to have a limp.
Load More Replies... Mom of 3. Two of my kids are on the autism spectrum. They are adults now. These behaviors screamed autism to me. Sensory issues. Stop catering to him. His parents should have investigated all these concerns far earlier, but it's not too late, and we can't critique because we don't know the backstory in why they didn't. The behaviors are just ingrained now, which will be 120x harder to undo. It's got to be tough love from this point forward. "This is what we are having for dinner. You can choose to stay home alone or come but tantrums and refusals are not allowed...what do you want to choose? It's your choice" Give him choices. You probably aren't going to convince the parents to start the hard tough love approach, but you can control to work it or not. He sounds incredibly immature. Could be the weed stunted his maturity at the age the drugs were begun. Meaning if he started weed at 14, he could have the mentality of a 14 year. Good luck.
Deff not the weed. Took a drugs class n weed has the least negative side effects of all major drugs. If anything his likely autism is whats causing his need for it (habitual) as weed is also nonaddictive. Actually weed should help with calming his temper 🤔 OP did say J lost his vape pen just before the blow up
Load More Replies... Well, those inlaws sure haven't raised their kid right. Clearly the BIL has mental health issues that are not being adressed. If it was just about denying a guest food they can tolerate (even if you don't understand why it's important to them) you would be an a*****e in my book. But when it's about screaming temper tantrums by an adult in your house.. Yeah no. Ban them.
I don't understand. At 20 years old, why is he not getting his own food and bringing it with him? He should be managing his own food issues. Something is wrong, either he's developmentally delayed, or has autism, and the parents are not doing him any favors by ignoring this. He needs help!
I know the downvote fairies are going to be having a field day with me, but frankly, I don't care. The BIL may well be on the spectrum or whatever else the self-appointed experts diagnose. But sometimes people can still be good, old fashioned, spoilt brats that have been indulged far too long.
I'm autistic. Someone can be both autistic and a spoiled brat. They can be autistic and an a**hole. They can be autistic and suffer from mental illness. These things are not mutually exclusive. Regardless of what's been going on with him, I agree he's been indulged far too long. It might be too late for that kid, and that's the parents' fault.
Load More Replies... I think it's fair to say this guy might have some undiagnosed issues that could do with a resolution; however, the fact this BIL has not been taught to handle these issues in a grown up way makes me think he and his parents are the A's. It's one thing to have sensory issues and associated difficulties, but to throw tantrums like that at that age is not okay.
I guess I’m a semi-picky eater (I’m a vegetarian, my digestive system rebels against fast food and things that are “too” greasy, I hate cooked mushrooms - great for a vegetarian, and I try to avoid processed foods), but DAMN. That guy clearly needs a psych evaluation. I’m glad the OP is aware but it sounds like a futile scenario with the parents being totally in denial. Sucks all around.
Don't let people call you picky or semi picky for eating healthy. Eat what you choose!
Load More Replies... Don't want to be a b***h, but Autism runs in a family, schizophrenia either. Better research before having kids.
It can but it can also occasionally just crop up in a family. Sadly minimal is know as to how someone gets it (they know the cause just not what causes that cause to cause if that makes sense) inherent can be a factor for sure but not always so it is good to know the signs
Load More Replies... Another name for picky eater is pain in the a*s. George Carlin. I have a picky eater in the family, I've missed gatherings because it's Always drama just to go out to eat . We can only go to "approved" restaurants I don't like (but we all have to cater to the one pain in the a*s eater) At this point I've developed zero tolerance policies towards them . We the family says "we can't go there because x won't eat it " I reply, ",then they can stay home I'm tired of eating the same thing every time because One person feels she can dictate what everyone else gets. . If you're to picky to join the group, leave the group.
Why can't X get a meal she can eat, and bring it with her to the restaurant? Then y'all can eat wherever you want.
Load More Replies... Goodness what a nightmare. This man is now a 20 year-old non-functioning adult without a diagnosis of whatever it is that causes his unreasonable behaviours. What are the parents going to do with him when he gets older? Does he work or do they still support him, buying him that marijauna? If he is actually autistic, they did him no favours not getting him tested and into some kind of treatment to help him live in this crazy world, where most of us have a difficult enough time. He wouldn’t be eligible for any kind of insurance coverage now, presumably not being a student. Is he lost? That’s very sad. No one will want to be around him if he ruins family get-togethers with his nonsense, which is just going to escalate.
As a parent of a child with sensory issues and who is on the spectrum as well, I would say he needs to be evaluated and get some help to help him overcome his eating issues. His health is taking a beating because of all the processed foods he is eating
I think NTA and normally I'd be on the OP for the attitude towards picky eaters - I hope he learns better, but J needs help and such too, can't keep having meltdowns, sometimes life happens. I really hope he gets evaluated, maybe some therapy too. It won't fix the food issue but it can help J with his emotions.
I mean it's not a cure but it is meant to be about helping J manage himself, whether its something like what I have, autism or something else; professional help is absolutely needed.
Load More Replies... I have worked with a lot of kids on the spectrum at all levels but this behavior from this young man is appalling! His parents have done him a serious injustice as far as socialization and therapy. And YES, HE NEEDS HELP! But, so do his parents so they can help him be better suited for the future. I have to say that every child needs boundaries, no matter who they are. It sounds like his parents decided to give in instead of say no and stand their ground. You are not the problem, your in laws are. I feel sorry for "J", because of his parents, no one will want to be around him!😞
"award-winning nutritionist and mindset coach based in London, UK. Daniel has been in clinical practice for over ten years and is the author of Naked Nutrition: An LGBTQ+ Guide to Diet & Lifestyle", This is how an article turns into a lame a*s joke. Next time try to use an award winning toilet seat as your professional opinion source.
I don’t understand why his father was attested because he run away???? He’s an adult, why his father has to be jailed for that??
NTA. He might be on the spectrum, but the enabling of his family for years and his incessant smoking weed, surely have exasperated the problem. When you are enabled for so long, that is a problem. It is an addicts best trick, to get everyone to jump, when their needs are not met and he is playing his family like a fine tuned instrument. He may have some mental issues, but the long term drug addiction and enabling by loved ones, is a much bigger problem. Choking it all up to "being on the spectrum", is another form of enabling. There is more going on and he definitely needs help.
He needs more help than Pizza Hut can provide. I wouldn't want him in my home either if he's just a time bomb waiting to go off if he doesn't get what he wants.
There's no way that this kid isn't on the spectrum. No way in hell. And he doesn't sound like he has a lot of people who understand on either side. And yes, 20's a kid. Way too many people go by the government's idiotic and arbitrary deadline(which only exists so they can start using you as soon as possible).
Oh my god! Why is everyone immediately jumping on the mental illness bandwagon. He has been catered to for everything in life. This man-child is obviously a spoiled brat that has gotten worse the older he gets and the more he gets away with it. He throws a tantrum they get him what he wants.
Everyone is "jumping on the mental illness bandwagon" because while he is indeed a spoiled brat, these behaviors are obvious symptoms of mental illness...
Load More Replies... I'd anonymously report his parents to social services for medical neglect or something. But first try to get him, preferably out of state, in a program that can get him diagnosed. Work on his behaviour & teach him everything he needs to know to function. That then places him in a group home with lots of support. Not to mention therapy. There's something seriously wrong with him & he's going to end up in the state psychiatric system. Where they'll probably fail him & who knows where he'll end up. It's better to contact resources now. Also he's now an adult so while probably not possible you could get him to sign himself in. Also he NEEDS to be tested for Autism & a psychiatric ward won't necessarily do that. They're only there to get him well enough to hopefully safely go home.
unfortunately since he's over 18 this isn't going to do anything - they'll just say he has every right to leave. While this guy definitely needs help, social services won't do anything.
Load More Replies... No, definitely not the AH. I have a 10 and 11 yo. They can be picky so on their visits every weekend during school and every second week in holidays/summer I take them with me to the grocery store and they help decide the weeks suppers. Since doing things this way I've almost completely cut down on waste and save a lot more money. Thing is they're 10 and 11. Being fussy and throwing fits at 20 is just self centered and inconsiderate not to mention an all out spoiled brat. 20yo needs a real attitude adjustment.
Why the Sam Hill does it have to be Pizza Hut. It's no better than Little Caesar's, what with so few toppings from which to choose. Even frozen pizza from the grocery store is better.
OP is NTA. The in-laws sure are, though. Denying that their kid has neurological issues will entirely cripple his potential as an adult. It's neglectful and abusive. I'm on the spectrum and get the food texture issues, though I haven't thrown a tantrum since I was 2 and I was diagnosed at age 40. The tantrum thing is odd, even for ASD. Usually by adulthood, unless the individual has fairly severe intellectual disabilities as part of their condition, even those of us with undiagnosed ASD have learned basic emotional regulation as a matter of social survival. That level of meltdown over food is not common for someone who appears to be otherwise a basically functioning adult, unless he has intellectual disabilities OP doesn't see. He's right at the age where schizophrenia often manifests in males, and his weed could be self-medicating. ASD and shizophrenia can be comorbid. Anyhow, J needs a good psychiatrist who will work with him over time to get a proper picture of what's wrong.
Ok how is the FIL on his side when he literally got put in jail by him. Also what the heck is wrong with him?! They raised (and probably still raising) a literal psychopath
What kind of parents even allow this behavior to happen. Or to not investigate to see if something medically is wrong with him?
NTA but if you're worried about losing the in-laws, here's a compromise: the jerk can come back but only on 2 conditions: 1, he be responsible for his own food at his own expense and 2, that he have his food with him when he arrives (no ordering from or deliveries to your house).
It is a pity, that you cannot count on someone who gets to a hospital of a kind being sorted out for problems that might have caused the person to get into a hospital in the first place.
not the a*s he was a picky eater and regardless should have eaten what was there and you warned him if that happen again you would not let him into your house anymore
Omg, I'm on the ASD spectrum and have really bad sensory issues with food and clothing but, man... just the thought of throwing a temper tantrum because of not getting the food I want? I can't even fathom doing such a thing. But, on the other hand, he could be on the spectrum and have it more severely than I do. A lot of people can go undiagnosed well into adulthood so he might not know and just doesn't know any healthy ways of dealing with things like not having the food he wants. Still though, I don't think OP is the AH here. It's their home and J is an adult. OP definitely had the right to ask him not to come over.
Your BIL needs help. Smoking aside his behavior is not normal. I hope by this time he has gotten help. Many people in our family including my dear husband of 36 years have food allergies. Me, I’ll admit I’m a picky eater. I have some stuff I flat do not like. I do not throw myself down and throw a fit. In our family we often have giant family get together meals, we check the menu beforehand and if it is not dietary appropriate, we bring something that the person can eat. Again, these are serious food allergies, not for instance in my case I simply don’t like a lot of something. I won’t get angry, I’ll act gracious and find something else. I certainly do not make a big deal about ordering out, nor do I act like a brat if the order is incorrect. Your BIL needs psychiatric evaluation for what’s going on. He is self medicating which is possibly exasperating his issue too. Marajuana is a downer and most likely contributing to his mood swings.
YNTA. Your Dad is an idiot for thinking you should cater to BIL after numerous warnings regarding his behavior. Even IF (and that's a big if) this man child is autistic he needs to learn basic manners and social skills. Sounds like he is just basically a spoiled entitled brat. Your in-laws are not doing him any favors by continuing to cave to his behavior. Stand your ground, you, your wife or any other guests do not have to put up with his c**p!
NTA. This guy needs a mental health checkup. I can't believe his parents put up with this so long. A 20 year old throwing a tantrum?? WTH is wrong with his parents? He's 20. Is he in school or have a job? Does he do anything? There is a problem, other than him being a spoiled jerk. He really needs a psych evaluation. Probably exhibited signs years ago and parents did nothing.
F**k this bag of broken chromosomes. I don't care if he's "on the spectrum". He should have been trained up a long time ago. If he won't eat, let him go hungry until he gets the message. If he won't behave, have him arrested if he comes near your home. Stand your ground; you are right on this one.
I've never been diagnosed but definitely believe I'm on the spectrum. I have issues with tastes, textures and smells. Also certain music feels like an assault on my body. I cannot listen to groups like smashing pumpkins, oasis or Hawaiian music. I cannot be anywhere near someone eating yogurt or cilantro. My husband loves beans and all kinds of legumes. I've really tried eating these types of foods because they are healthy but I just can't do it
Studying/majoring in psychology and yea seems like he is on the autism spectrum i dont think its schizophrenia but he seems VERY particular on foods n routines which checks out. The fact the parents cater to this rather than try n break him of it also doesnt help (nor does not getting tests done) by 20 sadly there isnt much they can do now as his habits have been treated as fine so there minimal chance he will change by now...NTA for not approving his behavior but sadly he wont learn to behave :/
Your first mistake is the weed. If he abuses it as you claim, then it is affecting his brain. Despite what the proponents of it says Weed does affect the brain and can cause damage if smoked too much especially if it is a strong blend and, depending on where he gets it, a lot of times it can be mixed with other drugs. I know that it would be a hassle because your in-laws have let him get away with whatever he wants but he needs to get off of the weed, get it out of his system which could take time and then have him evaluated for other possible issues. But, right now the Weed is your biggest problem and until he gets clean he won't change. Any drugs that alter the receptors in the brain are bad for you and people react to them differently. Weed, despite what people try to say, alters brain function and since he is only 20, if he started using it early as an adolescent while his brain was and is still developing, that alone can cause behavioral issues. Do your research.
NTA! I don't blame you. I refuse to let people act like that in my home, too! What I DON'T understand is why his parents have allowed him to act this way for so long. I would have taken my child to be tested long before 20. There are obviously issues somewhere!
He sounds like he's on the spectrum and his parents let him for undiagnosed for years. I'd bring it up to your wife and maybe she can suggest testing be done? Not sure why he hasn't been evaluated if this has been happening for years.
I have always been a picky eater and not by choice. I have issues with textures, tastes and smells. If my mouth hates it, I gag and throw it up. I have tried to eat certain things to no avail. Lots of food looks good and I try to eat it but nope, can't. I am never rude or throw a fit, though. I'd rather just not eat than cause someone issues.
The OP is wrong. Smoking weed is VERY bad for health. Young adults are having strokes and heart attacks at increasing rates that have been linked to smoking & eating cannabis. The 20 year old sounds like he's been catered-to his whole life. Boy needs to grow up and put on his big boy pants. If he acts out, he's out.
I sure hope he has been involuntarily committed so authorities can remove any guns
20 year old brat demanding Pizza Hut + weed pen = lamentable special needs case deserving our sympathy and special accommodations. Welcome to the Internet.
I hadn't read anybody here saying he deserved sympathy or accommodations. What people are saying is that if he DOES have special needs, the parents failed him and now he's a 20 year old brat that is unhappy and makes everyone unhappy. Even those who suggest he might have special needs also still say the OP is absolutely NTA. However, I'm autistic and my guess is that he's just a brat, not autistic. It's really hard to know with this limited info, though. (Autistic people can have other issues. They can have mental health issues. They can be just straight-up a**holes. They can suffer from being spoiled. These things are not mutually exclusive.)
Load More Replies... Sounds like he has a weed problem without professional help, prison may be the only option to sort out his brat behaviour.
I understand getting upset at his behavior, which may or may not be his fault, but he has no right banning him from his house because that is not his family. That's his wife's brother and its her decision if she doesn't want him there. He said she was on board with the decision but honestly if it were my brother I would not be ok with him telling my brother he isn't allowed in our house. That's terrible that's her brother WTF 😒
How about instead of the diagnosis from the masses being mental illness we call it what it is? He's narcissistic/spoiled/been catered to his whole life. He never has to take responsibility for his actions cause mommy and daddy continue to wipe his a*s for him. They continue to give in to his every whim. Just read his statement about finding a girl who will eat what he likes and cater to him! Enough said with that statement alone.
It is a grown a*s man, not a child. Slap some sense into him and let understand he needs to behave as an adult...
It's the ableist attitude and bringing up weed for no reason for me. It sounds like they're not asking someone with a dietary based disability what he wants then getting mad that he's not happy with the choice THEY made for him. YTA
I am always amused that instead of recognizing bad behavior as bad behavior, people always try to make everything a "mental health" issue. Some people are just spoiled brats. I have had a couple of them appear for meals that were just insufferable. Comments about the food that was being prepared. Stating their "preferences". "I really don't like tomatoes. I'm not fond of red wine. I don't eat onions. Garlic doesn't agree with me. I'm not Italian so why would I eat spaghetti?"And on . And on. I didn't wait for them to ruin it for everyone else. They were ushered out the door BEFORE we sat down to eat. The rest of us had a nice meal.
His involuntary commitment in the hospital MAY prevent him from passing a background check for an AR. But I wouldn't count on it.
I must have missed that.... The kid is planning to buy an "AR"?
Load More Replies... “He’s generally a good kid and would be a great uncle”….in what world? He a dope smoking entitled brat. No, he’s not a good person. He’s also not “on the spectrum” and all that other BS people are now using to give people excuses for bad behavior. He spent a week in a mental hospital and was diagnosed with depression (still not an excuse it’s called life). All these idiot arm chair social media doctors smh. This kid is a typical overindulged brat who has gotten away with bad behavior for his entire life. He is the baby by 10yrs and has been allowed to stay that way. Stop making excuses for him and stick to your guns.
There is a difference between making excuses for bad behavior and looking for the reasons for bad behavior in order to address the issue and resolve the bad behavior.
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