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The online dating world is a magnet for creeps, but these cunning users are sending them home packing with their clever pick-up line comebacks.
If you’re familiar with Tinder or any other dating/hook-up app—let’s be real, you probably are—then you’ve inevitably dealt with a few duds and lousy pick-up lines in your day. They ask for nudes right off the bat. Their lack of social skills and knowledge of flirting makes you wonder if they’re even human. Their earth-shatteringly corny pick-up lines hit you right in the cringe.
Fear no more because, thanks to the heroic beings you see below, you’ll know the best comebacks when low-lives decide to grace your phone screen. ‘Politeness is the strongest weapon’ must be a motto for these people with the anti pick-up lines—their affable-yet-savage lines are guaranteed to leave a scar.
Scroll down below for our picks of the best pick up line comebacks.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Below The Belt
Silent Skeleton 8 years ago
Heheh, guys aren't the only ones with terrible pickup lines, and girls aren't the only ones with snappy comebacks :o)
RELATED:
#2
Double Standards
Claire Pearson 8 years ago
He didn't ask her how tall she was though. And she didn't ask his weight.
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varwenea 8 years ago
Intriguing. It never occurred to me asking a man's height is like asking a woman's weight (I'm short; I'm non-threatening when I ask a guy their height, and I've never asked in social media before.) Admittedly, a person can managed weight but not height.
Claire Pearson 8 years ago
I don't think it is the same. Asking her height would have been the same.
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Sam McKinney 8 years ago
I ask anyone the same question when asked how tall I am. Awesome to see I'm not the only one.
#3
Romeo And Juliet
Kat Blak 8 years ago
It should be illegal to reference Shakespeare if you have no idea what the play's about
Stacy Rae 8 years ago
I remember on the T.V show "The Nanny" (don't judge me, I was just a kid.) Mr. Sheffield says that there is a rule that if you mess with Shakespeare the Queen of England can hit you with her handbag. I think this should become law in every country.
adoracat 8 years ago
I don't judge, it's a silly show that makes me laugh. Great one-liners!
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Florence Hastings 8 years ago
Once again it's not your a fuckn creep, it's YOU'RE a fuckn creep.
#4
How Free Are You Tonight?
#5
Pick Up Puns
Daria B 8 years ago
My thoughts exactly. Looks like he just tried to be stupid, but it didn't work.
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Funny Comebacks for Guys Hitting on You
Rejection doesn’t have to be a buzzkill—it can be a shared smile if you inject a little humor into it. Use creative metaphors to keep it light and playful. These smooth responses to pick-up lines will help you gracefully sidestep unwanted advances:
- “If my love life were a coffee, it’d be decaf. Just a whole latte ‘nope.’”
- “Sorry, I’m booked up in the past, present, and future. Time traveler problems, you know?”
- “If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.”
- “Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your mediocrity.”
- “Excuse me, but I think you dropped something: my interest.”
- “If I were a cat, I’d probably use one of my nine lives just to avoid this conversation.”
#6
It's Dark
Kjorn 8 years ago
sometime i Wonder if story like that are just boyfriend-girlfriend who are just joking around or if guys really are that stupid and ask that. if guys really ask that i really don't get it! what they expect?
Thegreatcountryofverden 7 years ago
If you look closely you can see that there is a silhouette of her there.
Emmanuel Christian 8 years ago
so if we don't use he/she we're assuming something ... something really bad
Daniel Fleming 8 years ago
I'm sure some server screenshoted that and sharpened it to see if he saw anything...
#7
My Head Is Intact
#8
A Pic In A Bra
Mia C 8 years ago
smart girl. She looks young too. Glad to see a young lady not falling under this sort of pressure
Atreïdes 3 years ago
Could be the first random printed photo she had on hand
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#9
Smile And Complain
frederic eeckman 8 years ago
Do people REALLY think that these kind of c**p is going to work ?
Robyn Scott 8 years ago
Pobin's about to go postal ....if he can get his fat hairy a**e out of his mother's basement.
#10
Pick Up Line Fail
Paul K. Johnson 8 years ago
You probably do. And like me it's two weeks later when it happens. :)
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Cheesybeansy 8 years ago
Who the hell thinks this would work? Some crass pick up line instead of a personality. brilliant
How Do You Politely Say No to Someone?
If you can’t think of clever pick-up line comebacks, the safest option is to turn them down politely. Be honest and direct—no one likes beating around the bush. Politely say you’re not feeling it, but don’t go all Shakespeare on them. Keep it real; keep it simple.
Also, acknowledge their effort because, hey, they took a shot! Thank them for the compliment to soften the rejection. No need to dissect their approach and cheesy lines meaning like a science project. Keep it positive. Less “you did this wrong” and more “I’m just not in that zone.”
Finally, if you don’t have any comebacks to pick up lines, just be diplomatic. Instead of saying, “You’re not my type,” go for, “I’m not looking for that right now.” Makes it about your feelings, not their qualities.
#11
Falling From Heaven
Fandoms Rise 8 years ago
I love this, though I've heard something similar before. -"Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" -"No, but I scraped my knees when I crawled up from hell?"
#12
Happy Ending
#13
Spelling Fail?
Long Joan Silver 8 years ago
I typed to a guy once "play with a rubber duckie" once. What autocorrect wrote was "rubber dickie". The guys response was "you can play with my rubber dickie"....no!
#14
Stranger Danger
#15
Mild Dyslexia
#16
Just Go Away
Crep 105 2 years ago
Her heart rate went from 0 to 100 real f****n quick.
Load More Replies... Melody Lanzatella 8 years ago
First lines a guy is doing great, second sentence, he cannot hide any longer and shows he is a true creep.
Heini Ozor 8 years ago
I love you to the moon and... Oh, maybe you should just stay there actually.
#17
Naming Your Boat
Álvaro Andrés Palacios Lara 8 years ago
Did you also imagine that name on the side of a boat?
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#18
No, Thanks
#19
High Standards
#20
Pick Up Line Fail
#21
First Grader Poetry
Yvonne Bernal 8 years ago
Your comment has me laughing better than the post!
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#22
Keep An Open Mind
Dana Mora 8 years ago
am i the only one who doesnt prefer tall guys? i am 173 and i like guys about my height
Janice Foster 8 years ago
I am 162cm (about 5"4?) and I prefer guys around my height. Tall guys make my neck crick!
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Family Osborne 2 years ago
as a short person...I don't give a darn. If you like him, who cares?
ParticularlyGoodFinder 5 years ago
Looks like she was the one brought up height, wonder if this was an attempt at negging on her part.
Non Bi-nary Panda ️ 2 years ago
I prefer shorter guys and always have. Maybe cause I'm super tall but the guys i like progressively get shorter by half an inch.
#23
Surprise!
Trew Windibat 7 years ago
"You look...greeeeeaaaaaat..." sees her in person "FALSE ADVERTISING!"
#24
Failed Poetry
Ana Ryguła 8 years ago
or maybe they just want to check their sense of humour... no that's still creepy and perv.
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#25
Plain And Simple
#26
A Talking Truck
Tania Strat 8 years ago
This is the sort of s**t I used to say when I was online dating many many years ago 😂
Thegreatcountryofverden 7 years ago
That means Daria B is an Anime person, i'm a planet with Countryballs on it ,and moonsong is a Temmie.
#27
Hi Horny
Sweep the Leg 8 years ago
Yep! That would have been a deal breaker for me right there. Well, assuming the "horny" thing didn't completely repulse me.
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#28
Que?
#29
Package Delivery
#30
It Burns My Eyes
Long Joan Silver 8 years ago
LMFAO! Your comment made me laugh like a b***h!
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#31
Pick Up Line Fail
Trew Windibat 7 years ago
She didn't ruin it she was bein honest he cood still give her a date
LooneyLovegood 3 years ago
Proper comeback would be "no it's definitely you who ruined your pickup line"
#32
Genetics
i_know_im_amazing 8 years ago
you don't need to reassure us that you're straight, you're allowed to call someone of the opposite sex "sexy" or "hot" without being gay
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#33
Simple Equation
#34
WrongCumber
#35
Social Skills
La 8 years ago
I don't see what was wrong their the wiki link...person asked and it was delivered...
Myrto Niforou 8 years ago
Well, she/he wanted to start a conversation by posing that question... They could have googled it themselves if that was their actual concern.
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Kyong-Suk Cho 8 years ago
On lesson 1!!! http://www.improveyoursocialskills.com/conversation/conversation-flow
#36
Just Bring Me Food
#37
Silly Poems
Jack Sparrow 3 years ago
The silent skelly has spoken for once the world will end now
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Becka Procter 6 years ago
Person:Are you google cause your everything I’m searching for. Y/n: Are you my search history because I want to delete you from my life forever.
CHARM TODD 4 years ago
OH DAMNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#38
Breaking The Ice
#39
Bone Count
Amin Sorbi 8 years ago
Some of the bones fuse into each other, and become one during the first years of life...
Load More Replies... #40
Know Your Spelling
just a nerd 3 years ago
now I am thinking that would've been a better response...
Load More Replies... Becka Procter 6 years ago
Person: Are you google,cause your everything I’m searching for😏 Y/n: Are you my search history?because I want to delete you from my life forever.
#41
Plural And Expensive
Teenage Mutant Grammar Ninja 2 years ago
And you still sound stuffed up 😂
Load More Replies... #42
Rearranging The Alphabet
#43
Archeologist
Jeanne Deaux 8 years ago
No, very clever in fact as the part she wants to inspect........ doesn't have any bone.
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Marie Garmon 8 years ago
This is stupid. Shldve said "orthopedist"...and it wld syill be stupud but wold at least be accurate
#44
Pick Up Line Fail
Pi... 8 years ago
The sun actually does nuffin. The Earth goes around. Someone teach him science!
Herb Eaversmells 8 years ago
It's a cheesy pick up line, I don't think he was reading that much into it.
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#45
Following Your Dreams
Long Joan Silver 8 years ago
LMFAO! That's something that I would say! The "s**t in my hands and clap" line
Elizabeth Schuyler 7 years ago
I like this because it can apply to anything you don't want to do. "Could you do the dishes?" "I would rather s**t in my hands and clap."
CHARM TODD 4 years ago
oneeee sec his/her parents did say follow your dreamsn lol but the reply oof
#46
Big Fish
#47
It's A No
Sweep the Leg 8 years ago
I don't understand how these guys can be offended. But it seems like any form of no, polite or impolite, would be an offense.
Amy Force 8 years ago
what baffles ME is how RUDE & forward some people can be with people they don't even KNOW! complete STRANGERS! WTH... maybe i'm just old. :P
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One direction addict 2 years ago
Anyone else hate Simon cowell cause of what he did to one direction?
#48
Simple Explanation
#49
Writing An Essay
#50
Error
#51
Rhyme Battle
#52
Know Your Movies
Anak Shaleh 8 years ago
lesson #23 before you get yourself into starwars fans,learn the basic character
Gracelyn Ryder 6 years ago
I hate anyone who confuses star wars for FLIPPING LORD OF THE RINGS!!!!!
#53
I'm Busy
#54
Talk Dirty
#55
Eye Color
Too Lazy To Care 🐼 8 years ago
I now wish I had brown eyes so that guys wouldn't be able to use this cheesy pickup line on me.
Rebeka Nováková 8 years ago
it would be much funnier if he explained where all the brown came from :D
#56
Smoking Hot
Daria B 8 years ago
Honestly... I don't get that either, but.... I guess, different people - different tastes....
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#57
It's Not A Preference
Jessica Jane 8 years ago
Better response is, "Yeah, you're hotter when I'm not wearing glasses too"
an actual phan trash can 8 years ago
ugh, do people not understand how rude it is to say that we look better without something we can't take off?
Elizabeth Schuyler 7 years ago
This angers me because one time when I wasn't wearing my glasses I tried on a rock and fell into a pole. Whenever people tell me I look better without glasses I take off my glasses, smile at them angelically, and throw my glasses case at them. With luck, I nail them in the forehead.
#58
No Image Found
Šimon Špaček 8 years ago
Quite a good try indeed but creating reply for one and half hour? Too slow I guess...
Load More Replies... porcupine 8 years ago
"I am and the systems saying 'no image found.'" Dafuq does that even mean?! NOTHING. That means nothing.
adoracat 8 years ago
"I'm a photographer and the computer says no image found" is what is implied. His comeback was trying to save face, badly.
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#59
No Need For Prayers
#60
Back To School
#61
Send Nudes
Gracelyn Ryder 6 years ago
OMG, MY CAT RAN INTO THE BATHROOM WHEN HE SAW THIS PHOTO! LMAO WTF?!?!?!?!??!
#62
Great Taste In Men
#63
Pick Up Line Fail
#64
Haunted House
Jace 8 years ago
What the hell kind of pickup line is that? "I'm both freakishly forward about sex AND awkwardly emotional about it". ???
Cheesybeansy 8 years ago
if you could write a book about what NOT to say this would be on the first page.
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#65
Wipe That Smile
#66
Not Your Babe
#67
Kiss You Everywhere
#68
Cannibalism
#69
Pick Up Line Fail
#70
Look What You've Done
#71
I'll Pass
Beatrice Alighieri 8 years ago
That would be 'Invalid input value. Use escape key to abandon changes'. Process stopped. Use Step or Run to continue.
#72
It's Not A Picnic
#73
Song Lyrics
#74
Bring A New Joke
#75
Wrong Festivity
#76
Spelling Bee
#77
What Does That Mean?
#78
Opening Line
Kenadee Bickford 8 years ago
I think its amazing how men can just straight up say ignorant things to a female. Young men need to learn respect.
Kenadee Bickford 8 years ago
If it was a nice guy they would talk about you and how you are not just go right to the topic of sex
#79
Bravo Avocado
Im_ya_girl 2 years ago
Many of these girls are actually protecting themselves with fun, witty, and humorous responses.
Load More Replies... Ana Ryguła 8 years ago
Me too. Why on earth would someone use such nasty words in reply?
Load More Replies... #80
There's Always Hope
#83
Purity Ring
#84
Pick Up Line Fail
#85
Here's Your Liberty
Too Lazy To Care 🐼 8 years ago
I would've said: Here, you can have both! And I would've sent them a picture of the Statue of Liberty and a donkey.
IcarusOfTheSkywings 3 years ago
I would have sent a picture of the Statue of Liberty riding a donkey. The best of both worlds!
Load More Replies... #86
Fantastic Mustache
Lord Beerus 8 years ago
When i was a kid i use want to grow a beard like my older brother.. :/
#87
Feather Allergy
#88
Pick Up Line Fail
#89
Egg Puns
#90
I'm Keeping It
adoracat 8 years ago
Trufax, I had my iPhone roughly 3 years before I learned to do screenshots. So...maybe the same lameness? (I know I'm lame, lol!)
Load More Replies... #91
Be Right Back
Christine Pan 8 years ago
smh I typed this all into Google Translate: "Shelf and lauan Yura, right? Nabamira. Well, Yanoe is okay."
#92
Heart Strings
Thegreatcountryofverden 7 years ago
Hearts don't even have strings, they have valves and chambers. Oh, and blood. Don't forget blood.
#93
Breaking The Ice
Crep 105 2 years ago
How? He's just explaining why he did it, why is that a sing of a "delicate ego"?
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#94
Fair Offer
Amaranthim Talon 8 years ago
well- we established what she is- sounds like now the are just haggling..
#95
A Broken Heart
i_know_im_amazing 8 years ago
WTF did he think? She was lying? "For a broken heart? I could've fixed that" umm how about "oh sorry to hear"
Elizabeth Schuyler 7 years ago
I would probably respond with something like "Well glad your alive."
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#96
Cute Dog
#97
Getting Nervous
#98
Just No
Lavinia A 8 years ago
So basically he wants her to give him A-N-A-L. I'd have said sure, let me get my strap-on XD
nicholas cosakavega 2 years ago
Dunno why they downvote you, you're just trying to salvage it from becoming a dirty conversation. For those confused, Analogy
Load More Replies... #99
Lame Puns
Your sleep paralysis demon 3 years ago
Well yea it takes ten tickles but everyone knows they only have 8, the last two are test tickles ;)
#101
Correct Grammar
#102
Pick Up Line Fail
Kelly Salazar 5 years ago
It can't be a coincidence that the time is the same over here. ...Right? RIGHT? R I G H T ? ? ?
Add New Image
What do you think ?
moustache lover 8 years ago
The burns are so hot even I felt them :( the best pick up line would probably be hello.
moustache lover 8 years ago
The burns are so hot even I felt them :( the best pick up line would probably be hello.
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