Man Doesn’t Want To Pay This Babysitter, So She Shares Their Private Conversation In A Shaming Group
Which professions or services do you think attract the most entitled jerks? If you look for answers on r/ChoosingBeggars, the subreddit for shaming people who make unreasonable demands, you might notice that devaluing art and childcare are both recurring themes. Well, this guy managed to be a complete jerk about both simultaneously when he asked his wife’s friend, who apparently had already helped the couple by watching their kids, to paint a free Christmas portrait (for “exposure”, naturally.) Let’s look over the conversation and see how he ticks every box of choosing beggar bingo by not only trying to take advantage of her for free art, but holding payment over her head for babysitting.
The artist posted this conversation on r/ChoosingBeggars
So, first of all, we have the classic attitude that the cost of art is nothing more than the cost of the materials (not that he understands how that works, either… if you already bought it and it’s in your house, that means it’s free, right?) Actually sitting down and making art, in these people’s view, takes nothing more than the goodness of one’s heart, which they expect the artist to have plenty of even after having to listen to their excuses. Artists have to develop their own ways of dealing with people who think they can get free art, like this guy who sent people who wanted free portraits hilariously sloppy scribbles.
Not to mention the cherry on the human trash cake, his oh-so-generous offer to maybe even pay her for babysitting four kids if she does the additional work of painting a full family portrait. Sorry, but taking care of kids that aren’t yours is work, no matter how “easy” they are or whether the person taking care of them knows you. And we’re not sure why these choosing beggars are always justifying why they can’t pay for something by bragging about how much money they already blew on something totally frivolous… get your priorities straight, people.
Commenters agree that this guy is a serious A-hole
Time to say goodbye to those people. Your friend is not a good friend. She is standing by while her husband takes the piss. You are better off with no friends than friends like that.
The wife may not know or expect this from her husband. Though the friendship is definitely going to suffer for this.
Her friend was angry because "the husband had an important meeting to go to". The artist had not even agreed to baby sit that day, but they assume she is home, try to drop the kids off anyway, and take it for granted that she will take the kids because it suits them? Neither of them are good friends.
I would SO tell the wife! I bet not only the friendship will suffer!
If she was a friend she would have answered the phone when the babysitter tried to call her.
I had a friend (we are no longer friends by the way) who wanted a necklace I made for free so she could show it off at a party. She said it was good exposure and a lot of her clients would most likely ask her where she got it from and so forth. Well, three days later I found out she was in need of money and sold the necklace I made for $300. My husband told me to take her to small claims court but I knew it wasn't going to go my way because I did gift it to her. What I did do was put her on full blast at a dinner party and ended our friendship. This might seem petty but I worked hard on the necklace and for her to do something like that really hurted me. I am not as trusting as I use to be either.
my Dad use to say that if Cosmic Balance wasn't working properly, you should give it a push. The way you end things with that "friend" really doesn't matter. What matters is that she abused of your trust, and you were hurt BUT you won't get hurt anymore. Good for you. You deserve better friends
Thank you for your kind words
Not petty. Perfect!
I'm sorry your friend did that to you. In truth you are better off without someone like that though you still feel the loss of who you thought they were - well, that's what I've found anyway. I'd love to know what the necklace was like - do you have photos or a website of your work?
I use to have an Etsy page but I shut it down after I started working for a Spa Retreat. It takes up a lot of my time but I do have pictures of the necklace.
In my opinion Yakisha, you were NOT petty - your 'friend' however, was a selfish, entitled, greedy, brat, who deserved more that you putting her on full blast at a dinner party. Shame on her. (And I'm sorry you had to deal with such an awful situation)
Yeah it was petty, and yeah it was understandable.
Its the small things that matter most. I'm so sorry that happened!
Ugh, your friend acted like a horrible person. I'm sorry for what she did to you and that you had to end your friendship, but we are all better off without people that act crappy in our lives. I'm flat broke but if I see a piece one of my friends made (she's a jeweler) and I want it, I ask if she has a buyer and if not I pay her asking price. She needs to make a living too
$5000 for Christmas gifts yet he can’t afford to pay for the artists work. I am more shocked at the $5000 than the whole scenario to be honest. That is just insane.
Totally agree Foxxy - spending that amount of money on presents (if true) is staggering. People go nuts over Christmas and get into debt for presents. Spend more on birthdays if you want to get children expensive presents.
Well the $5000 is probably a bragging lie, so say $2000. Which means adding $500 (would be underpaying probably as less than $15/h after materials) would be noticeable ---but he needs a substantial gift to her, as he's probably flung around that $5000 figure to her too (so she won't be impressed to be worth 10% of his love/gifts at $500-- for an actual, personal, memorable gift instead of the usual slightly larger vase would be a good deal. He's painted himself into a bad corner, he can't even crawl back waving $500 at the artist.
That's if you believe he even spent a quarter of that. He's quite clearly a liar
Time to say goodbye to those people. Your friend is not a good friend. She is standing by while her husband takes the piss. You are better off with no friends than friends like that.
The wife may not know or expect this from her husband. Though the friendship is definitely going to suffer for this.
Her friend was angry because "the husband had an important meeting to go to". The artist had not even agreed to baby sit that day, but they assume she is home, try to drop the kids off anyway, and take it for granted that she will take the kids because it suits them? Neither of them are good friends.
I would SO tell the wife! I bet not only the friendship will suffer!
If she was a friend she would have answered the phone when the babysitter tried to call her.
I had a friend (we are no longer friends by the way) who wanted a necklace I made for free so she could show it off at a party. She said it was good exposure and a lot of her clients would most likely ask her where she got it from and so forth. Well, three days later I found out she was in need of money and sold the necklace I made for $300. My husband told me to take her to small claims court but I knew it wasn't going to go my way because I did gift it to her. What I did do was put her on full blast at a dinner party and ended our friendship. This might seem petty but I worked hard on the necklace and for her to do something like that really hurted me. I am not as trusting as I use to be either.
my Dad use to say that if Cosmic Balance wasn't working properly, you should give it a push. The way you end things with that "friend" really doesn't matter. What matters is that she abused of your trust, and you were hurt BUT you won't get hurt anymore. Good for you. You deserve better friends
Thank you for your kind words
Not petty. Perfect!
I'm sorry your friend did that to you. In truth you are better off without someone like that though you still feel the loss of who you thought they were - well, that's what I've found anyway. I'd love to know what the necklace was like - do you have photos or a website of your work?
I use to have an Etsy page but I shut it down after I started working for a Spa Retreat. It takes up a lot of my time but I do have pictures of the necklace.
In my opinion Yakisha, you were NOT petty - your 'friend' however, was a selfish, entitled, greedy, brat, who deserved more that you putting her on full blast at a dinner party. Shame on her. (And I'm sorry you had to deal with such an awful situation)
Yeah it was petty, and yeah it was understandable.
Its the small things that matter most. I'm so sorry that happened!
Ugh, your friend acted like a horrible person. I'm sorry for what she did to you and that you had to end your friendship, but we are all better off without people that act crappy in our lives. I'm flat broke but if I see a piece one of my friends made (she's a jeweler) and I want it, I ask if she has a buyer and if not I pay her asking price. She needs to make a living too
$5000 for Christmas gifts yet he can’t afford to pay for the artists work. I am more shocked at the $5000 than the whole scenario to be honest. That is just insane.
Totally agree Foxxy - spending that amount of money on presents (if true) is staggering. People go nuts over Christmas and get into debt for presents. Spend more on birthdays if you want to get children expensive presents.
Well the $5000 is probably a bragging lie, so say $2000. Which means adding $500 (would be underpaying probably as less than $15/h after materials) would be noticeable ---but he needs a substantial gift to her, as he's probably flung around that $5000 figure to her too (so she won't be impressed to be worth 10% of his love/gifts at $500-- for an actual, personal, memorable gift instead of the usual slightly larger vase would be a good deal. He's painted himself into a bad corner, he can't even crawl back waving $500 at the artist.
That's if you believe he even spent a quarter of that. He's quite clearly a liar