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We’ve all experienced thinking of the perfect response to a person, but the moment had already passed. It’s like that one Seinfeld episode when George Costanza had a clever comeback to an insult from a coworker, but it had already been hours later.
However, since many conversations now occur online through comment boxes and social media, timing is no longer a key factor. You can deliver the ultimate clapback days after, and it would still sting like vinegar on an open wound.
Here are just a few excellent examples. These responses were so well-crafted, you’d wish you had thought of them. It also proves that ordinary people on the internet can easily be top-notch comedy writers. Enjoy scrolling through!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Or Just Very Friendly
Anthony Elmore 4 months ago
I believe the term is 'butt-s**t', but more importantly, he seems to be having a really good time.
RELATED:
#2
All My Life Consists Of Now
Wild Cream 4 months ago (edited)
Or corpse walks - edit: I meant crosswalks but the autocorrect made me laugh so I’m just going to leave it haha
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Mary Peace 4 months ago
I'm English. We have zebra crossings and pelican crossings. Only pelican ones have lights to tell you when it's safe, because the traffic has to stop.
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#3
Can Also Try Exploiting People
Geoffrey Scott 4 months ago (edited)
..or using your N(ame), I(mage), and L(ikeness) to start a movement like MAGA? Dude is c..a..s..h..ing in!
Abby Louise Rexroth 4 months ago
Cashing in? Oh, like the Clintons and Odumba?
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Sarah 4 months ago
Silly error. Scrap coffee altogether. Tap water is free. You’d have a house by now if you followed that advice
Crafting a quick-witted comeback isn’t solely about having a sharp, creative mind. Part of it is having excellent listening skills, according to comedian and artistic director Abigail Paul.
In an interview with the BBC, Paul shared an example wherein you’re dealing with a colleague who enjoys making snide remarks. In such situations, Paul advises training your brain to listen to their words, so you can eventually fire back the perfect retort.
#4
Cows Don’t K**l Sharks
Riley Quinn 4 months ago (edited)
From Discovery.com: There are approximately five deaths caused by sharks annually, while horses k!ll about 20 people a year and cows k!ll about 22. Since most humans are land-based, this seems reasonable. But if more people start swimming in the Maine Gulf, for example, I bet death by Great White sharks will bring that number up a bit.
#6
An Amateur Pilot At Best
Bill Swallow 4 months ago
Did the people walk away? By definition, a 'good landing'. (A *great* landing is when you can fly the airplane again.)
CP 4 months ago
I will defend that show from beginning to end. It was a magical island. It wasn't anymore deep than that. The ending explained everything well IMO.
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Riley Quinn 4 months ago
Good one, Matt, but we all know it was Desmond's failure to push the button on time.
TTorrest Author 4 months ago
FUN FACT: The first episode of the TV shows WINGS is titled "Legacy." Makes me angry every time I think about it.
nottheactualphoto 4 months ago
The first album from the band The Durutti Column is titled "The Return of the Durutti Column."
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A knee-jerk reaction to an insult would be to issue a more scathing response. At that point, your emotions are more heated, as your goal becomes more about winning the argument at all costs.
However, stooping to the same level of disparagement can only turn the conversation toxic, which only makes the responding person look worse. According to business consultant Belina Raffy, who worked with a condescending manager, harsh, uncalled-for responses typically come from a palace of insecurity.
“(Negative responses) increase tension, make a person feel excluded or inferior, and as though they are not in the 'in group' which is in the know,” Raffy said in the same BBC interview.
#7
I Laugh But It Hurts
Mel in Georgia 4 months ago
At 62, so many answers - my estrogen, my skin elasticity, my bone density, my recall, my weight, my blood pressure ... I could go on but my energy is flagging. lol
Lazy Panda 2 4 months ago
And I suspect as your recall is flagging, you've forgotten the rest
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Undercover 4 months ago
Got just diagnosed with arthrose in my lower spine at 40. My GP told me, happy as a camper, that's unusual for my age and it's probably hereditary. Thanks mom, I guess?!? 😬
#8
When Rejection Is A Win
Miki 4 months ago
I read your comment and for a split second I was like: "wait. I didn't wrote that comment".
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Tony Tripp 3 months ago
If l got 100$ ev3ry time I'd be a fu **ing millionaire by now (I'm 75.....lol)
#9
Well, She Did Ask For Pictures
Uncle Panda 4 months ago
I'm beginning to suspect that you could use, "It was just the question that was incorrect" to explain most of my life.
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Delivering the perfect off-the-cuff response is also considered a career-building skill, according to executive speech coach Darlene Price. In an interview with Forbes, she explained that such a skill not only exudes confidence and credibility but also ensures that your ideas are heard and acted upon.
#10
Name This Plant
#11
Get On The Bus
Rick Murray 4 months ago
If it was Trump, it would surely say "American Ocean".
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Leanne Kaut 4 months ago
This isn't as stupid a question as you first think - a lot of counties have done this. Netherlands, Italy, UK, Japan, Korea, china, Bahrain, use to name a few. Maybe not to the depth of the far right of the map though lol
LB 4 months ago
Yah, was going to say, 25% of the Netherlands is below sea level...
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Leanne Kaut 4 months ago
This is not a completely stupid.statement other countries have done this - Netherlands, Italy, Japan, Korea, China, barhain, UAE and UK to name a few...
Bill Swallow 4 months ago
He can and will do whatever the h3ll he pleases, unless and until someone physically stops him. Legality and Constitutionality be d@mned.
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CP 4 months ago
I said the same thing. Will delete mine. I even tried to check first too!
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Ellie Ahmed 4 months ago
I feel like they've spent too much time playing Minecraft on Creative Mode
#12
Yep, Can Only Be Eaten Once
Angela C 4 months ago
Not only is it edible, you won't need to eat anything else for the rest of your life
Nota Robot 4 months ago
Most things are edible once though... and while the original 02:00 AM kebab after a night out might in theory be edible twice, I am not very tempted.
nottheactualphoto 4 months ago
...yet Turbojet is not edible. The world is a strange and wondrous place.
Load More Replies...So, how do you develop the muscle to deliver the perfect response when necessary? Price says it begins with a calm mind, free of negative self-talk that would slow down reaction times in the brain.
“Couple positive self-talk with some nice deep breaths, and before you know it, you’ve transformed stress and tension into a relaxed state of mind and body,” she said.
#13
Brilliance Meets Confusion
Christine Wild 4 months ago
Maybe he’s the one with the problem and has difficulty explaining quantum physics?
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Abel 4 months ago
Try to grasp quantum physics make us all equally dumb. It is a pretty democratic theory
Chewie Baron 4 months ago
Hey, I’m gay and I can explain the offside rule!
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Al Padilla 4 months ago
Reminds me of a story about a brain transplant program. A patient enters the Brain Transplant Clinic to see the coordinator. Patient: "I'm thinking of getting a brain transplant." Coordinator: "You came at a perfect time! We have two brains available, a man's brain for $500, and a woman's brain for $100." Patient: "Why is the woman's brain so much cheaper?" Coordinator: "It's been used."
Riley Quinn 4 months ago
Knowing something, even to the extent of being an expert, does not mean the skill to teach is there. Didn't appreciate the knee-jerk defensive remark, but unfortunately it's understandable given how sexiest our world continues to be.
Joanne Hudson 4 months ago
Where the hell they ever got the idea women only have two "holes" down there. And how that works.
#14
No Lies Were Told
Geoffrey Scott 4 months ago
"We are competing with other companies to pay the least possible."
Janet Graham 4 months ago
Yes, and losing, but just by a little. If it were enough to pay your bills, it would be a winning salary.
#15
It Hurts Thinking About It
Vicki Perizzolo 4 months ago
twizzlers, jujubees, any number of sticky stuff that manages to remove implants OR bridge work.
Below-the-belt responses are typically blurted-out answers that the person likely didn’t think through. As a result, they may sound haphazard, flimsy, and weak. This is why Price suggests taking a two-second pause to organize your thoughts.
“Seize the moment, trust in your innate abilities, and take the time to deliver an intelligent reply,” she said, adding that silence is also an effective reply to communicate that you are “thoughtful, deliberate, and in charge of the situation.”
#16
Bit Weird To Be Asking For Such A Young Photographer
Uncle Panda 4 months ago
If you hand an infant an SLR, they'll turn it into a rattle in no time.
#17
Mind If I Comb Over?
Reemerger 4 months ago
if you are making seal-like noises, I'd suspect you are laughing (not an expert though).
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David Jackson 4 months ago
Must be fake then, like one of those disguises that sticks to your face
#18
I Can’t Imagine It Tastes Very Good
Upstaged75 4 months ago
Can confirm. Once had my mouth washed out with it as a child. Mom did not mess around! 😂
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Pyla 4 months ago
I have a horse and I do not objectively find manure nice to smell. I mean, now compared to chickensheet, that's another story
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Captive 4 months ago
Hah, in the book I'm reading, a guy was fighting someone else and bit his nose off
Azari the Lich 4 months ago
Smell makes up a large amount of our taste so idk if this is true XD
#19
Wax vs. Parchment Paper
BarBeeGirl 4 months ago
My mom would wrap sandwiches in wax paper so naturally as an adult I bought a roll of wax paper when I moved into my first house. Im 63 YO and I still have to same roll
Mark Alexander 4 months ago
Well, make some freaking sandwiches. A lot. And fast, you're not getting any younger. You don't wanna waste that stuff.
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Epona 4 months ago
Skip the parchment paper completely and use washable/reusable silicone baking mats
LovesBerk 4 months ago
Wow thanks for that. I didn't know that was a thing. You can even buy silicone cake tin liners. I looked them up. Definitely easier to use the parchment paper.
Load More Replies... Janet Graham 4 months ago
Nah, I still use wax paper as a liner when I bake cakes, cookies, muffins, etc.
Karen Menard 4 months ago
I bought store brand parchment paper because I tend to use alot of it and it set my oven on fire. The customer service kid was young and I had to explain the diff between that and wax paper. "So why don'cha use tin foil, everyone has that. I don't understand..." and I think when I asked him how old he was he was kind of insulted.
Strawberry Angel 4 months ago
You can safely use both in the oven. It just depends on what you're baking.
Sue 4 months ago
My mom always used wax paper, but I didn't care for it. I didn't bake anyway. No fires to be had, but glad to know this.
Bored Trash Panda 4 months ago (edited)
I highly doubt she used it in the oven. It is not heat resistant at all and will melt or catch on fire. It is literally covered in wax and if it didn't catch on fire, would ruin anything that was on it food wise. IT was most likely parchment paper, which looks pretty much the same.
Load More Replies... #20
So True
Beak Hookage 4 months ago
The Mummy 3: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor, when the awfulness finally got to be too much.
Nosirrow 4 months ago
Climax. I saw people leave but I didn't want to make a fuss, so I stayed. Also, I always surprised to hear people would walk out during the Pianist, after the Jew in a wheelchair was killed. Imagine this scene shocking you. Maybe as a Pole I was exposed to the war stories too early.
Christine Wild 4 months ago
Deliberately? Witches of Eastwick. Jack Nicholson’s great actor, but he gave me the w*****s in that one
Gracie Mae 4 months ago
great answer! Pet Cemetery made me walk out--when they brought the kid back & realized it was a bad idea...couldn't handle that
#21
Well Yes, But Actually Yes
Riley Quinn 4 months ago
I visited Canada. Really kind, polite, and helpful people. Not sure who was average though bc most of them were above average in my book.
Tony Manuel 4 months ago
I went to Vancouver last year for the first time and it was amazing! Best Chinese food I've ever had and no I've never been to China. Also everyone was so nice.
Melinda Flick 4 months ago
At my Costco parking lot, at Trader Joe’s, Safeway, Fred Meyer, and on the streets of town.. They’re EVERYWHERE!
Karen Menard 4 months ago
Come to Maricopa, AZ. We have a whole sub-culture of Canadian's who own houses who are only here for Canadian winter.
#22
Definitely, He Will Not
Uncle Panda 4 months ago
"You're early. Come back at my scheduled time." It won't change anything but the momentary look on his skull would be worth dying for.
Dawn Marie 4 months ago
It is about friggin time!!! What took you so long? Did you die and come back to life??
#23
His Wife Commented On His Post
#24
Ludicrous Speed
Ace 4 months ago
I admit it, but also that didn't see the dadness of the joke at first, failing to spot the actual intended meaning of 'talk real quick'.
Load More Replies... Upstaged75 4 months ago
Of course it's her Dad! 😂 Why do they all do this and where do they learn it?
The Majestic Opossum 4 months ago
It's kept a secret, but while moms are being "taught" to breastfeed in the hospital, dads are being taught Dad jokes.
Load More Replies... Riley Quinn 4 months ago
I'm from Massachusetts, one of the fastest talking states in the US. When I lived in the Midwest for several years, between my fast-talking and my non-rhotic dialect, those poor people didn't have a clue what I was saying.
Steve Wamsley 4 months ago
I’m I the only that gets anxiety from seeing their 306 unread messages?
#25
Whoops
Russell Rieckenberg 4 months ago (edited)
I have no problem with people who are just idiots. It's the people who are idiots and also anything else who cause all the problems.
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Marianne 4 months ago (edited)
I don't know who needs to hear this, but in most cases, it's totally ok to wear the traditional clothes of another country. Cultural appropriation is when you ridicule the culture or use cultural elements without knowing their meaning or if you're a cólonizer who takes away cultural artefacts from a people and using the artefacts yourself. If you visit Japan, you're welcome to wear a traditional outfit or even buy one. I'm from Munich and I can't tell you how many tourists I see wearing Dirndl or Lederhosen for the Munich Oktoberfest. That's totally ok, as long as you wear the real thing and not a skimpy costume.
Daniela Lavanza 4 months ago
"Cultural appropriation" is from the start a racist concept: telling people what they can or can't do based on their ethnicity/skin color. Culture is made to be shared, and to make people meet. And yes, there will be mistakes on the way but if not done with malice, it just means people are interested in different cultures, and that's a good thing.
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René Sauer 4 months ago
And 3) they have kimono rental services there. They have no problem with foreigeners wearing their traditional clothes. So who are you to write something like this?
MagicJacket 4 months ago
And obviously don't eat Japanese food, or Mexican, Greek, Chinese, Italian etc unless you are from those countries.
BK BigFish 4 months ago
Don't use written language - only Mesopotamians are allowed to do that...
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Oerff On Tour 4 months ago
The people who scream the loudest "cultural appropriation" are the Americans who claim to be Irish/Italian/Polish/whatever Non-American country
nicholas nolan 4 months ago
Man, I don't know how to tell you this, but when Americans say "I'm X", it's a signal to other Americans that when they come over to each other's houses "hey bro, be careful, we do weird s**t with cabbage." It's not a shot against the authenticity of what you are.
Load More Replies... Jon Steensen 4 months ago (edited)
...and why shouldn't white people wear a kimono? It is often the case that locals have figured out what is the smartest way to dress at the locations they are at.E.g. loose fitting white clothes is much better in the dessert than shorts and a croptop. Also Asian food is made to be eaten with chopsticks, so use those. Do as the locals.
Trophy Husband 4 months ago
I get really annoyed by these people. If you're not being disrespectful, then enjoy every culture all you want. And while you're at it, if your great, great, great grandmother was from a country, you can call yourself they nationality. The only people who get care what culture you identify with or what clothes you wear or what hairstyle you have, are gatekeeping fun, and I won't stand for that!
Riley Quinn 4 months ago
Most intelligent people know cultural appropriation is ethically problematic, but you can't make public accusations without knowing the facts. Plus, you insulted a young Japanese woman by saying she didn't look good in her cultural clothing.
#26
I Wonder What Do They Have In Common
This panda says ur worth it 4 months ago
No idea why us as a ppl hate Michigan so much
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Riley Quinn 4 months ago
The desire to experience the b!tchin' cold and lake-effect snow every winter???
Vylnce NA 4 months ago
It doesn't get that cold in Ann Arbor and its too far inland to get much lake effect snow. That would be NMU, or LSSU.
Load More Replies... #27
To Ask About Dirty Toilets
Christine Wild 4 months ago
It was just a lightbulb hanging down, not even a fixture. Water was dripping off of it.
Vicki Perizzolo 4 months ago
the Arco Station off the 215N in San Bernardino... haz mat suits required
#28
Driving 101
Nina 4 months ago
True. So probably something like getting a heart attack or a stroke while driving in heavy traffic would be the worst
Load More Replies... Crystalwitch60 4 months ago
Drink driving , texting /using phone , and destroying others lives by doing so !! but yup crash n die defo the worst 🤷♀️
#29
Took The Words Right Out Of My Mouth
#30
My Wife Would Have Given The Ring Back If I Made Our Proposal Something Political
Kyra Heiker 4 months ago
If you're thinking about other men while you're on your knees I think pride month has already won.
Jaya 4 months ago
If you hate Pride events so much, why don't you work on creating a society where queer people don't get physically attacked, bullied or excluded; where being queer is considered as normal as being straight and cisgender, where people don't have to be scared to come out, where queer people feel as safe as straight cisgender people. Then there won't be any need for Pride events anymore. But if you're not actively working on creating a society like that, you don't get to complain about us needing Pride.
Crystalwitch60 4 months ago
I thought it already was 🤷♀️n there is nothing wrong with pride ,I think it’s lovely , they are actually celebrating,being allowed to be THEM !
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Epona 4 months ago
I'm glad I'm not the only one who doesn't like giant bows (or any bows)! Is she an adult or a tall toddler?
Load More Replies... CP 4 months ago
I don't understand why these bigots care about LGBTQ people. It doesn't make sense. I know hate like this doesn't make sense, but it seems more people still do it than don't.
Ann Tiques 4 months ago
The “straight” folks who always protest the loudest and who are the most concerned with homosexuality are usually the ones battling their own homosexuality. It’s almost a cliche at this point, especially among politicians and preachers.
Load More Replies... Ellie Ahmed 4 months ago
Man, it's like when we had the campaign to legalise same s*x marriage in Australia about 10 years ago, and for some f*****g reason people on the 'no' side kept thinking it was a flex to post videos from hetero weddings and cry about how beautiful traditional weddings were and how we needed to protect them. Mate, if you see a video of a hetero wedding and think the beautiful part is that the two people have differently configured genitals, then I don't know how to help you. Maybe that's something you should discuss with a mental health professional instead of harassing gay people online
Kalevra 4 months ago
You cant propose to a fiance? I mean technically you cant but its not right.
Panda McPandaface 4 months ago
Just don't set out to 'defeat Pride month' is all.
Load More Replies... #31
I Don't Think Three Fingers Are Too Much
Auntriarch 4 months ago
I'm rather hoping they are going to pour me a scotch
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Crystalwitch60 4 months ago
Well that depends if your asking if three fingers of whiskey is to much 🤔😂
Rick Murray 4 months ago
Or for us Brits, do this the other way around ✌️ and add in a🖕.
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Every Woman Has Encountered This Man
Wild Cream 4 months ago
For real, I don’t read books because I think it’ll make people like me 😂
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Alessa Gillespie 4 months ago
Nothing better than enjoying a cold beer while reading a good book! Specially when solo traveling. Is being on your phone doom-scrolling more socially acceptable?
Wild Cream 4 months ago
I actually have lots of e-books on my phone, and have definitely had certain demographics of people snarkily make side comments about “kids these days always on their phones” while I’m literally reading a Stephen Hawking book 😂
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Crystalwitch60 4 months ago
Erm if us women take a book or have ear buds in , it means DO ONE !! but hold on men take a newspaper to a bar 🙄🤔🤔🤔how come that’s ok pfft
Epona 4 months ago (edited)
Global PSA (sorry to the people who already know and respect this rule, you can ignore it, but keep respecting it!): When someone is wearing earbud/AirPod/over-ear headphones, they DO NOT want to converse! I repeat: Headphones = No talking please! This is why I still wear wired headphones!
The Majestic Opossum 4 months ago
And that is exactly why I bring my book to the bar. Plus it's better company 🤷🏽♀️
KatSaidWhat 4 months ago
Or just read your kindle instead of having to squint at your screen?
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#33
Car
Jon Steensen 4 months ago
...so the type who can identify a traffic light.... if only cars could do that.
#34
Ingredients And Prononciation
Gerry Higgins 4 months ago
Nothing ever changes in the shire due to a force of hobbit.
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Billo66 4 months ago (edited)
There is a city in Massachusetts spelled this way and they pronounce it Woostah. Not sayin it's right. That's just how they said it when I was there. wtf do I know, I'm from Missouri.
Auntriarch 4 months ago
Well that's how we pronounce the name of the sauce in my part of England, so you're ahead of the game.
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quentariel 4 months ago
Nice, I can pronounce absolutely everything as a Finn. (We tend to pronounce everything exactly like it's written, especially brands).
Itsmeagain 4 months ago
It's easy to pronounce - just ask for Lea & Perrins. Or, leave out the middle bit of the Worcestershire and say....Wuster, you'll be close enough.
#35
Cursed Truth
Riley Quinn 4 months ago
I'll bet when I'm out in public and my social anxiety has my heart tap dancing, there's at least one other person in the vicinity feeling the same rhythm.
#36
Look Up At The Sky, It's Work Smarter-Not Harder Man
Tucker Cahooter 4 months ago
I always learned it as "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" which is a lot less than what was originally written and makes more sense too
Herringbone 4 months ago
You can save 2 letters by changing one 'the' to 'a'.
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#37
They Never Said You Couldn't Use Numbers
Bill Swallow 4 months ago (edited)
To those wanting a translation, converting the binary to hexadecimal gives "70 72 6F 66 65 73 73 69 6F 6E 61 6C 20 64 75 6D 62 20 61 73 73". Converting the hexadecimal to ASCII gives "p r o f e s s i o n a l d u m b a s s". NOTE: There are 'space' characters between the three words, but of course Bored Panda removes them.
Kevin Hickey 4 months ago
There are only 10 types of people in the world, those who can understand binary, and those who cannot.
#38
At Least 2 Pairs Are Needed
Oerff On Tour 4 months ago
Why? You spend most of your time in the elevator, and imagine the tips
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Wild Cream 4 months ago
I came to the comments to see if anyone else noticed that too 😂
Load More Replies... Jon Steensen 4 months ago
...but there are some very excited dogs at the foot of that building.
Bi.Felicia 4 months ago
I'm guessing that this tennis court is made with AstroTurf, it would be difficult to get a lawn mower up there.
Bert van Aalsburg 3 months ago
I guess that person on the right is preparing to high dive into the pool below.
#39
I Never Thought Of Earth That Way
Uncle Panda 4 months ago
Although I enjoy them, my internal word for public hot tubs is soup pot.
#40
The Three Faces Of Truth
#41
And Likely Get Arrested For Indecent Exposure
Alewa 4 months ago
Interesting choice. You would rather p**s in front of everyone and create an unhygienic situation than go to a bathroom with privacy and proper waste disposal.
Jaya 4 months ago
"I also refuse to use the toilet at my own home because that's a gender neutral toilet too!"
keyboardtek 4 months ago
Those bathrooms are one person occupancy. Did they expect both men and women to be in it together?
Jaya 4 months ago
Yes, those who wanna join the Foot High Club instead of the Mile High Club.
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Nadine Lynch 4 months ago
Nah. The unthinking, bigoted knee-jerk reaction is far more satisfying to some.
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Wondering Alice 4 months ago
Chatting with some kids the other day while they were washing their hands in one of those large multipurpose toilet areas on a school trip. I was telling them about a school I'd worked in with a similar layout. Obviously this is a massive benefit for non binary or questing youngsters, but it was actually helpful to everyone. Stalls were laid out different spacing - a lot of small stalls with just a toilet, the mid range had a little sink and sanitary bin, the largest could fit 2 assistants helping someone out of a wheelchair were big enough to get changed in had a large sink as well as a low level one. No signs on the doors, people know what they need. No bullying or harassment in the toilets. A lady who was listening said that sounded awful, girls are girls and boys are boys - I pointed out we were all in a gender neutral toilet right now, firstly we were just people needing the toilet.
Karen Menard 4 months ago
Uh - no privacy. Been there. Just long lines and the auto-flush doesn't really work on its own.
Nosirrow 4 months ago
Stop pretending to be stupid. You know women don't feel comfortable sharing a bathroom with men. Airplane bathrooms are for one person at a time. Stop pretending to be stupid!
T 4 months ago (edited)
I'm a woman, and if there are stalls, I really don't care. I'd be more uncomfortable sharing a bathroom with someone like you since you seem to be obsessed with genitals.
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#42
Gotta Love A Technicality
Tim Gearing 4 months ago
I think every American taxpayer could be considered in this group. It is their money after all.
Justin 4 months ago
Musk is mostly finding Starship himself... with money he ultimately got from US taxpayers
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Diane Tucker 4 months ago
This is who I think of when people insist Elon Musk is so smart. No, these are the smart people. He bankrolled it.
Weaponized Beef 4 months ago
That's what she said. My daughter, who read this over my shoulder.
#43
Its Always The Instagram Comments
Lotekguy 4 months ago
Anybody else remember Bob Mortimer having this in one of his bizarre anecdotes? Does the name Gary Cheeseman ring a bell? You Brits are lucky to have him.
#44
An Interaction With My Mother
Child of the Stars 4 months ago
If anyone's interested, a real answer would be diatomaceous earth. Depending on the infestation, it can take a long time (it took about a year for the ones that kept coming into my kitchen), but it's safe to use around children and mammalian pets (I specify mammalian because idk the effect on reptiles or birds).
Adrian 4 months ago
This! Totally natural and gets rid of more than just ants
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Itsmeagain 4 months ago (edited)
Why k**l them? Just sprinkle mint, paprika or cinnamon at all entry points.
Karen Menard 4 months ago
My baby brother spent one summer with a hammer and wiped out every ant in the yard.
#45
The New Industry Standard: Normal Screen Size
#46
No Way He Guessed That
This panda says ur worth it 4 months ago
Your mind is as fascinating and information holding as an etch a sketch
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Carmen Honacker 4 months ago
The worst part is that this person does not exist. It's AI generated.
#47
Anything Below 20 Hz As Well
Talis 4 months ago
Sure - but that part wasn't an exclusion in the question. 😊
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Riley Quinn 4 months ago
Women are never ready to hear: Calm down. Just relax. You're being silly. You look tired. What is it now. You should smile more.
Pursuing Peonies 4 months ago
Most of those it's the tone rather than the words. Also the accompanying uselessness as well.
Load More Replies... #48
All In The Cloud
Jaya 4 months ago
I have never in my life seen them in any other colour than white, I guess my supermarket always bakes them on the same day ;)
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Riley Quinn 4 months ago
Well, I have a few in my junk drawer that are only a couple of years old, so they're still being used. BTW, I always keep a few on hand to hold wires together neatly and to label cables.
LovesBerk 4 months ago
So you don't buy bread in plastic with the little thing at the top to keep it sealed? You take this off to open the plastic bag to get the bread out.
Load More Replies... Al Padilla 4 months ago
Monday - Blue Tuesday - Green Thursday - Red Friday - White Saturday - Yellow
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#49
Worst Loaf Of Bread Ever Baked
Uncle Panda 4 months ago
I think most or all of the yeast died, resulting in a very heavy dough that takes forever to heat and set internally. But the ingredients still taste like bread, so I'd slice it very thin, toast it, and say it's my new melba toast recipe.
Reemerger 4 months ago
If only the raw dough had been submitted to half the heat... for an hour?
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Cathy Carey 4 months ago
Probably bad yeast. Leave it to the mold, nothing else is going to eat that.
#50
This Guy Has Good Flirting Skills
KatSaidWhat 4 months ago
I have a half sister who is a well brought up Christian (don't bother with the inflammatory comments) - had to explain to her why she would find my facebook offensive and for that reason could not add her. She did take a look and agreed.
#51
It's Not In The UK
Doug Moyer 4 months ago
Greater Los Angeles is nearly the same size as Greater Tokyo. And also not in England.
QijianSanek 4 months ago
also most of greater Tokyo and greater LA is just rural or semi-rural. Most of London is 'city' or 'suburb' but this map of Tokyo is a bit misleading as only about 50% of it is 'city'
#52
That’s The Way To Go
Lara Verne 4 months ago
That would probably traumatize other participants, unless they plan to go the same way.
#53
Will You Marry Me?
#54
The War Of 1812
#56
Not The Healthiest Breakfast
Uncle Panda 4 months ago
I had chickens last year and had absolutely no idea that they eat white styrofoam. My first clue was when I said, "Hey, where did that 2' x 3' x 1/2" sheet of styrofoam go?" and then found the dinner plate sized remainder. Evidently this is well known for chickens but the weird thing is that there was never any evidence in the output from the chickens. I have no idea where all that material went.
#57
Good Soldiers Follow Orders
#58
A Shape Consisting Of Infinite Points That Are At A Distance "R" From A Central Point
ColdSteelRonin 4 months ago
Correct. A Perfect Circle is a band fronted by Maynard James Keenan.
#59
He's Out Of Line, But He's Right
Mel in Georgia 4 months ago
Just widen your horizon, son. I've read all of these and would love to have a husband who read these series, too!
Jaya 4 months ago
What did the OP mean? What does Post Divorce refer to in regards to his book collection?
Shark Lady 4 months ago
I'm guessing that their ex was religious and didn't allow fantasy/magic/witchcraft etc books to be in the same house as themselves.
Load More Replies... #60
The Rarest Steak In The World
LillieMean 4 months ago
It looks like some of the handmade raspberrysorbet lemonscream sunset fairyfart soaps that are sold in small boutiques.
Uncle Panda 4 months ago
I was thinking Luigi's Cherry Lemon Swirl Italian Ice.
Load More Replies... Crystalwitch60 4 months ago
I love my steaks blue , but even that’s to bloody raw for me eek lol now where’s that vet 😂
Wild Cream 4 months ago
I cooked for a restaurant that did steak tartare. Grossed me out so much at first but after making a few hundred of them they started to look kinda good. I got a free staff meal every shift so decided to try it. What do you know, it tastes exactly like raw steak smells 😂 and the soft wet chewy texture made it so I couldn’t stop thinking about how “this is pieces of a body.” No hate to those of you who enjoy it but I struggle so hard with raw cow lol
MagicJacket 4 months ago
Judging by the ample fat marbling, I am going to assume that they are feeding the cows donuts.
#61
Pretty Sure Alligators Can Be Efficient
#62
After 9 Months, Yea
Lene 4 months ago
When I found out that I was pregnant with my first kid I went to my neighbor because I got so happy and emotional and just wanted to tell someone and my bf wasn't home. So I went to her door and when she opened I was crying my eyes out and said "I'm pregnant!" And she said "it is a good thing, right?" And she looked so confused. Lol.
#64
Keep Your Teeth Natural, Guys
#65
The Holy Roman Empire
Tucker Cahooter 4 months ago
I was born in Australia which apparently still doesn't exist either
#66
Dave Chapelle And Joe Rogan
Amanda Reinstatler 4 months ago
Is he trying to be funny.....because he does not make me laugh. But I do like K**l Tony
#67
That's One Harry Hand
Miss Ann Thrope 4 months ago
Crying at my desk at work. Thought this was a dog wearing a watch.
#68
Not The Life You'd Want
#69
Germany Is Home To Many Things
Child of the Stars 4 months ago
I had a friend who was from Germany, and he made his own sauerkraut. It was amazing!
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Ahnjunwan 4 months ago
Creamcake, sausages, dark bread, the little sweet buns filled with jam ( forget the name), smoked sausages, currysausage, doner, potatosalad.....i guess i miss german food 😢
#70
Can't You Feel My Popcorn Crunch?
#72
I Know His Coworkers Hate Him
Wild Cream 4 months ago
Animal! At least put the tuna in a Tupperware and squirt the bbq sauce on top like a civilized human being 😂 I’d actually totally eat this with a little mayo and lemon pepper added, and throw some chopped celery and onion in there too
#74
He Did Explain
Sue 4 months ago
I'm still trying to figure out when the meaning of "crash out" changed from going to sleep to yelling at someone.
Wild Cream 4 months ago
No for real, I told some friends “yeah I crashed out at so-and-so’s house” and the one Gen z thought I meant I had an actual angry meltdown 😂
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What do you think ?
Emilu 4 months ago
This was a fun post. Thanks to the author and the pandas with the awesome comments!
FreeTheUnicorn 4 months ago
In Chrome and Firefox, the Gallery view text and arrow/symbol makes it hard to read 90% of the joke set ups. Super annoying.
blixten1982 4 months ago
Keith Johnstone was a famous improvisation comedy teacher and one thing he used to teach improvisers was: Don't try to be clever, be obvious.
Emilu 4 months ago
This was a fun post. Thanks to the author and the pandas with the awesome comments!
FreeTheUnicorn 4 months ago
In Chrome and Firefox, the Gallery view text and arrow/symbol makes it hard to read 90% of the joke set ups. Super annoying.
blixten1982 4 months ago
Keith Johnstone was a famous improvisation comedy teacher and one thing he used to teach improvisers was: Don't try to be clever, be obvious.
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