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Partner Refuses To Add Woman To House Deed Or Will Despite Her Raising His Child Full Time
Couple in kitchen having tense discussion, highlighting issue of not adding mother of child to house deeds.

Partner Refuses To Add Woman To House Deed Or Will Despite Her Raising His Child Full Time

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Sharing a home with your partner sounds sweet, until you realize one of you is acting like a landlord. Relationships are supposed to be partnerships, right? But somehow, when it comes to actual ownership, like your name on the house, it all gets weirdly one-sided. Turns out, love might be blind, but deeds sure aren’t.

One netizen has the internet furiously side-eyeing her partner after he made it painfully clear that, while she’s good enough to raise their child and clean the house, she’s apparently not “contributing” enough to deserve her name on the house deed.

More info: Mumsnet

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    Family walking barefoot on grass, highlighting a guy not adding the mother of his child to house deeds.

    Image credits: Jeniffer Araújo / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

    One woman is worried about her future after her partner of 5 years refused to add her name to the house deed, despite making her quit work to raise their kid

    Text excerpt discussing a guy refusing to add the mother of his child to new house deeds despite planning marriage.

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    Text excerpt about a woman who contributed to house before baby but is not on new house deeds with partner.

    Text about a guy planning marriage but refusing to add the mother of his child to new house deeds.

    Text on a screen stating a partner refuses to add the mother of his child to new house deeds despite financial contributions.

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    Toddler drawing in a notebook on bed with mother nearby, illustrating family and home ownership issues.

    Image credits: Tatiana Syrikova / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    The woman has been a stay-at-home mom since the baby was born, and quit her job when her partner demanded it so she could take care of the child and house

    Text on a light background explaining disagreement about not being added to house deeds despite contributing to childcare and household cleaning.

    Text on white background about a guy planning marriage but not adding mother of his child to new house deeds.

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    Text expressing insecurity about finances and savings while partner pays bills and food shopping but no direct money support.

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    Text image showing a message about reluctance to make a financial commitment to the mother of his child.

    Couple arguing in modern kitchen over new house deeds, woman holding dishes, man gesturing while cooking on stove.

    Image credits: Alex Green / Pexels (not the actual photo)

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    The woman’s partner refuses to add her to the house deed or even update his will and life insurance to include her because she’s not “financially contributing”

    Text on white background stating refusal to update will or life insurance policy and questioning expectations.

    Text excerpt about a guy refusing to add the mother of his child to house deeds, causing relationship insecurity.

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    Text on white background stating a partner won’t add mother of his child to new house deeds despite planning marriage.

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    Text discussing relationship issues as guy won’t add mother of his child to new house deeds despite plans for marriage.

    Image credits: HannahXsanderson

    The woman worries about her future and wonders if she’s being unreasonable to want her partner to add her to the house deed

    The OP (original poster) and her partner have been together for five years and share a 2-year-old kid. After the baby was born, the mom stepped away from her job, which her partner asked her to do, to focus on parenting full-time.

    The OP’s partner makes a decent income, so they agreed she’d stay home until the little one started nursery. Life seemed pretty stable, until the OP casually brought up the idea of becoming a co-owner of the family’s future home. And that’s when the red flags started flying.

    This dude shut down the idea immediately. His reason? Apparently, the OP doesn’t “financially contribute.” Never mind the unpaid full-time labor of parenting, or the fact that she hasn’t been dipping into his bank account.

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    She’s been living off her own savings for years, keeping the home together and wiping yogurt off walls without asking for a dime. Still, no deed for her. Oh, and don’t even ask about updating his will or life insurance. That’s also a no. But apparently, he wants to get married someday. Excuse me while I go raise an eyebrow.

    Man and woman in tense conversation at home, highlighting issues of house deeds and mother of his child rights.

    Image credits: Vitaly Gariev / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

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    Look, raising a kid is no small task it’s a full-time job with overtime, no lunch breaks, and a demanding boss who throws mashed peas at your face. In fact, studies from 80 major cities around the world show that the average stay-at-home parent’s unpaid labor is valued at around $4,500 per month, which is $54,000 every year.

    But the OP isn’t just worried about money; she’s questioning whether her partner is truly committed. Sure, he talks about marriage “someday,” but if he’s unwilling to protect her or their child with even the most basic legal steps, how solid is that foundation? A ring doesn’t mean much if you’re not even on the emergency contact list.

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    According to legal experts, couples who aren’t married and don’t have formal agreements are on very shaky legal ground, especially if one person owns all the assets. “Common law marriage” isn’t recognized in most places. If something goes wrong, a stay-at-home partner can be left with exactly zero financial security, even if they’ve raised the kids and managed the home for years.

    So, is the OP expecting too much by wanting her name on the deed? I have to go with no on this one. Because this isn’t about greed, it’s about protection. She’s raising a child, maintaining a household, and contributing in ways that can’t be measured by pay stubs. She’s not asking for a yacht, just a little security and recognition in the place she calls home.

    Unless this man is planning to cough up the cash to replace her efforts, maybe, just maybe, he should rethink the whole “you’re not contributing” thing.

    What do you think of this story? Is the poster being unreasonable to expect her partner to add her to the house deed? Drop your thoughts and comments below!

    Netizens encourage the woman to get a job and tell her partner she is leaving if he doesn’t include her in his plans

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    Comment discussing a guy who won’t add the mother of his child to new house deeds despite planning marriage.

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    Comment discussing a messy situation where a guy won’t add the mother of his child to new house deeds.

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    Screenshot of online comment advising to warn guy about financial risks of not adding mother to house deeds despite plans to marry.

    Comment discussing a guy who won’t add the mother of his child to house deeds and plans marriage but excludes her from paperwork.

    Text message conversation discussing financial vulnerability and concerns about not being added to house deeds.

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    Commenter PurpleFlower1983 warns about the risk of being excluded from house deeds despite plans for marriage.

    Forum post discussing a guy refusing to add the mother of his child to new house deeds despite plans for marriage.

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    Monica Selvi

    Monica Selvi

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    Hi! I'm Moni. I’m a globetrotting creative with a camera in one hand and a notebook in the other. I’ve lived in 4 different countries, an visited 17, soaking up inspiration wherever I go. A marketer by trade but a writer at heart, I’ve been crafting stories, poems, and songs, and creating quirky characters since I was 7.

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    Monica Selvi

    Monica Selvi

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Hi! I'm Moni. I’m a globetrotting creative with a camera in one hand and a notebook in the other. I’ve lived in 4 different countries, an visited 17, soaking up inspiration wherever I go. A marketer by trade but a writer at heart, I’ve been crafting stories, poems, and songs, and creating quirky characters since I was 7.

    What do you think ?
    Niki
    Community Member
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The people saying it is reasonable not to put her name on the deed when she is making no financial contribution are crazy. If he intends to marry her, and she is going back to work in a year or so, then she will be contributing. He won't even change his will etc. This is a series of red flags on the Red Flag Ship. Bail out now.

    Tabitha
    Community Member
    4 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Then calculate 24/7/365 since the baby was born at the going wage, plus overtime, for hiring one person for housework and another for childcare—-yes TWO different people’s wages with a shitload of over time, which also freed him up to concentrate on his career, so she deserves a bonus for that, and hell YES she contributed, probably at least as much, if not more, than he did,

    Load More Replies...
    Janelle Collard
    Community Member
    Premium
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP should start billing partner for her work: childcare, shopping, cleaning, laundry, etc. Then she'll *have* money to contribute. Doosh is getting a bargain now cuz he's not paying for someone else to do those things.

    Lyoness
    Community Member
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is about control, not money. As long as he prevents her from making her own money and refuses to put her on the deed she's 100% under his thumb. She needs to get out,

    Sue Ellen
    Community Member
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She should go back to work and move into her own place.

    FreeTheUnicorn
    Community Member
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She should divorce and claim child and spousal support and go back to work when the child is 3 per the plan.

    Load More Replies...
    🇺🇦 🇵🇸 TribbleThinking
    Community Member
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You've borne his child, are raising it and have given up work. This man has literally told you that these are not contributions. Stop caring about his sulks and get legal and career advice.

    Paul C
    Community Member
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He's either expecting this relationship to end, preparing for it or he's a total controlling AH. If the OP torpedoes her career for this guy, she will regret it, as I can't see it lasting when someone is so ready to jump and unwilling to commit.

    Tyke
    Community Member
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She needs to tell her partner either she works and contributes to the mortgage so gets put on the deeds, or she doesn't work and he puts her on the deeds. But he can't dictate she give up all financial stability for no recompense. He should also pull his head out of his ars3 and do his will... unless he wants his child to go into care should anything happen to him. However, if I were her I'd go back to work regardless... and probably get my own place.

    Ge Po
    Community Member
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If A gets to go out and work and B has to stay home and be care-taker of C (being child of A and B), then the contribution of A is wages/income through work and the contribution of B is work itself, which is taking the major share of caring for C and taking the major share of house-keeping. This means that B is covering part of A's domestic tasks, without getting paid for it by A in money. Payment instead will be in nature, which is an equal right to all the assets A gains with A's wages/income. This means an equal right to the house/car/bank-account/food/vacation-money/house's interior/etc. In other words; B hasn't given up work, A and B decided that B's work from now on will be within the household, so they do not have to hire a baby-sitter, house-keeper, grocery-shopper, life-planner, gardener, etc.

    shg stewart
    Community Member
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What he's doing to her is financial abuse. (It's a thing.)

    Sparkle
    Community Member
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He won't let her go back to work but wants her to contribute monetarily? She's almost drained her savings. How does he want her to contribute. She's probably working harder than him and she's on 24 hrs. He gets to come home from work help take care of the kid and wait for dinner to be made. He gets a break from work. She never does

    Load More Comments
    Niki
    Community Member
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The people saying it is reasonable not to put her name on the deed when she is making no financial contribution are crazy. If he intends to marry her, and she is going back to work in a year or so, then she will be contributing. He won't even change his will etc. This is a series of red flags on the Red Flag Ship. Bail out now.

    Tabitha
    Community Member
    4 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Then calculate 24/7/365 since the baby was born at the going wage, plus overtime, for hiring one person for housework and another for childcare—-yes TWO different people’s wages with a shitload of over time, which also freed him up to concentrate on his career, so she deserves a bonus for that, and hell YES she contributed, probably at least as much, if not more, than he did,

    Load More Replies...
    Janelle Collard
    Community Member
    Premium
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP should start billing partner for her work: childcare, shopping, cleaning, laundry, etc. Then she'll *have* money to contribute. Doosh is getting a bargain now cuz he's not paying for someone else to do those things.

    Lyoness
    Community Member
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is about control, not money. As long as he prevents her from making her own money and refuses to put her on the deed she's 100% under his thumb. She needs to get out,

    Sue Ellen
    Community Member
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She should go back to work and move into her own place.

    FreeTheUnicorn
    Community Member
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She should divorce and claim child and spousal support and go back to work when the child is 3 per the plan.

    Load More Replies...
    🇺🇦 🇵🇸 TribbleThinking
    Community Member
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You've borne his child, are raising it and have given up work. This man has literally told you that these are not contributions. Stop caring about his sulks and get legal and career advice.

    Paul C
    Community Member
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He's either expecting this relationship to end, preparing for it or he's a total controlling AH. If the OP torpedoes her career for this guy, she will regret it, as I can't see it lasting when someone is so ready to jump and unwilling to commit.

    Tyke
    Community Member
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She needs to tell her partner either she works and contributes to the mortgage so gets put on the deeds, or she doesn't work and he puts her on the deeds. But he can't dictate she give up all financial stability for no recompense. He should also pull his head out of his ars3 and do his will... unless he wants his child to go into care should anything happen to him. However, if I were her I'd go back to work regardless... and probably get my own place.

    Ge Po
    Community Member
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If A gets to go out and work and B has to stay home and be care-taker of C (being child of A and B), then the contribution of A is wages/income through work and the contribution of B is work itself, which is taking the major share of caring for C and taking the major share of house-keeping. This means that B is covering part of A's domestic tasks, without getting paid for it by A in money. Payment instead will be in nature, which is an equal right to all the assets A gains with A's wages/income. This means an equal right to the house/car/bank-account/food/vacation-money/house's interior/etc. In other words; B hasn't given up work, A and B decided that B's work from now on will be within the household, so they do not have to hire a baby-sitter, house-keeper, grocery-shopper, life-planner, gardener, etc.

    shg stewart
    Community Member
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What he's doing to her is financial abuse. (It's a thing.)

    Sparkle
    Community Member
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He won't let her go back to work but wants her to contribute monetarily? She's almost drained her savings. How does he want her to contribute. She's probably working harder than him and she's on 24 hrs. He gets to come home from work help take care of the kid and wait for dinner to be made. He gets a break from work. She never does

    Load More Comments
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