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Woman Ensures She Always Buys Quality Things, Partner Destroys Them, Then Plays The Hurt Party
Couple arguing on sofa, woman upset and gesturing while man looks stressed, depicting damage and victim role conflict.
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Woman Ensures She Always Buys Quality Things, Partner Destroys Them, Then Plays The Hurt Party

Interview With Expert

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We’ve all heard of couples who share everything from bank accounts, and wardrobes, to Netflix passwords. But what happens when the one thing you’re sharing is breakage?

Today’s Original Poster (OP) recently vented her frustration over a painfully relatable issue. Apparently, her partner has the uncanny ability to destroy almost everything she owns. Think Greek tragedy, but with broken wine glasses and an ottoman that died too young.

More info: Mumsnet

RELATED:

    Imagine spending years carefully saving for quality things, only to watch them break one by one at the hands of the person you live with

    Broken wine glass spilled with red liquid on white surface symbolizing damages to dishes and furniture in a relationship conflict.

    Image credits: Denis Barysau / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    The author shared her frustration over her partner repeatedly breaking both shared and personal items she’s worked hard to buy and maintain

    Text excerpt about boyfriend damaging girlfriend's car, dishes, and furniture, with her seeking apology while he plays victim.

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    Text message describing damages to car, dishes, and furniture, expressing frustration over constant breakage and money loss.

    Text on white background expressing frustration about not being allowed nice things and vowing not to buy more due to damage by boyfriend.

    Image credits: SpotlessMind88 

    Couple arguing on couch, boyfriend upset and girlfriend explaining, illustrating damage and victim playing in relationship conflict.

    Image credits: Timur Weber / Pexels (not the actual photo)

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    Despite the damage, including broken furniture, dishes, and even her car, he rarely apologizes and often downplays her feelings

    Text message conversation about broken dishes and delayed apology, highlighting boyfriend damages and victim-playing behavior.

    Text with a person describing the need for a cupboard to protect belongings after BF damages her car and furniture but plays the victim.

    Image credits: SpotlessMind88 

    Feeling disrespected and emotionally drained, she’s vowed to stop buying nice things and is considering hiding her belongings just to protect them

    The OP explained that while she treasures her belongings, her partner has a more carefree attitude. She’s the type who still owns her first car and her university laptop because she takes care of them. Meanwhile, her partner treats household items like they’re disposable.

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    Let’s try to name them all, from her ottoman which he broke by standing on it, her wine glasses, her glass tea pot, her knife, and then, her stoneware dish. She constantly feels like she’s throwing money away, and we all know that’s not the most comfortable thing.

    While he breaks his own things too, it’s her stuff that hurts the most, both emotionally and financially. However, what makes things worse is the apology drought. When he recently broke her stoneware dish, his response was defensiveness.

    Eventually, after some prompting, he apologized twenty minutes later. The OP has reached a point where she doesn’t even want to buy nice things anymore. She also now feels the need to keep her things in a locked cupboard, away from the reach of her breakage-prone partner.

    To better understand what repeated carelessness with a partner’s belongings might indicate, Bored Panda spoke with relationship coach and marriage counselor Mildred Okonkwo, who explained that this behavior often signals deeper emotional issues beyond simple clumsiness.

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    “When someone repeatedly treats shared or personal items carelessly, it’s usually a red flag for emotional disengagement,” Okonkwo said. “It’s less about the broken object and more about the message it sends like saying, ‘Your feelings and needs aren’t a priority.’ Over time, this kind of neglect can have an impact on trust and intimacy.”

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    Young woman sitting on a couch looking upset, reflecting on damaged car, dishes, and furniture in relationship conflict scenario.

    Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    She emphasized that when this becomes a pattern, partners need to talk, not just about the broken mug, but about the emotional disconnect behind it.

    We also asked Okonkwo about the impact when one partner never takes responsibility for their actions. “I always say this. Do not get into any relationship if you’re not willing to apologize and take responsibility,” she stated before explaining that refusing to own up creates a heavy emotional load for the other partner.

    “It leads to resentment, disconnection, and emotional burnout because one person ends up doing all the work by fixing, maintaining the relationship, while the other knocks down what’s built.” She described this imbalance as “exhausting and unsustainable,” warning that without accountability, relationships often start to feel like a battleground.

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    Finally, we asked whether differing attitudes toward money and possessions can become long-term dealbreakers, and Okonkwo was clear on this. “Absolutely. Financial conflicts often reflect deeper emotional divides in that what one person sees as a harmless threat might feel like recklessness to the other.”

    However, she pointed out, “The key is open, judgment-free conversations about money habits and goals, and understanding the personal meanings behind spending and the things that are being bought.” Okonkwo also encouraged couples to ensure they are always on the same page regarding personal or shared items.

    Netizens saw the OP’s partner’s behavior not just as clumsy, but potentially passive-aggressive or even deliberate. They also highlighted the lack of accountability and respect, calling the partner “emotionally careless” and questioning how long such a dynamic can remain tolerable.

    What do you think about this situation? Do you think repeated carelessness with personal items is a sign of deeper relationship issues? We would love to know your thoughts!

    The author clarified that he breaks some of his things as well, however, netizens insisted that her partner must pay to replace the things he damages

    Screenshot of a forum post describing boyfriend damaging car, dishes, and furniture without apologizing, playing victim instead.

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    Woman looking upset talking on the phone in a cluttered living room after boyfriend damages car, dishes, and furniture.

    User comment discussing passive aggression and ex-boyfriend damaging belongings as related to BF damages GF's car, dishes, and furniture.

    Woman looking frustrated and thoughtful while sitting on a couch next to broken dishes, damaged furniture, and a car key on the table.

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    Text message conversation screenshot showing a dispute about a boyfriend damaging girlfriend's car, dishes, and furniture with a victim-playing response.

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    Screenshot of an online comment discussing lack of apology after boyfriend damages girlfriend’s car, dishes, and furniture.

    Woman upset at damaged car and broken dishes, highlighting boyfriend playing victim instead of apologizing for the damage.

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    Person pointing at a dent on a silver car's rear side, showing damage likely from an accident or mishandling.

    Image credits: phanuwatnandee / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    Online forum post describing frustration about boyfriend damaging girlfriend's car, dishes, and furniture without apology.

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    Commenter sharing frustration about a careless boyfriend damaging car, dishes, and furniture, causing resentment.

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    Young woman looking frustrated holding a broken plate in a kitchen after boyfriend damages car, dishes, and furniture.

    Comment about boyfriend damaging car, dishes, and furniture, suggesting he should replace what he breaks to stop careless behavior.

    Screenshot of a social media post describing how the boyfriend damaged girlfriend's possessions and played the victim instead of apologizing.

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    Poll Question

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    Ifeoluwa Adesina

    Ifeoluwa Adesina

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    I'm a writer and bookworm (eyes glued to an e-book, more accurately) who happens to have a suspiciously deep knowledge about pop culture. When I'm not writing, I can most likely be found taking yet another online quiz to find out which soda matches my personality.

    Read less »
    Ifeoluwa Adesina

    Ifeoluwa Adesina

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    I'm a writer and bookworm (eyes glued to an e-book, more accurately) who happens to have a suspiciously deep knowledge about pop culture. When I'm not writing, I can most likely be found taking yet another online quiz to find out which soda matches my personality.

    What do you think ?
    GirlFriday
    Community Member
    Premium
    5 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had a boyfriend like this. Every single time he came to my home, something got broken. The final straw was when he managed to rip down a set of blinds and a curtain leaving holes in the wall where the brackets were. He goes, "oops." I asked him to leave. I repaired my wall, I replaced my blinds and curtain rod, and three months later, I replaced him. It was 100% disrespect on his part.

    tori Ohno
    Community Member
    5 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes, I don't believe for a moment that he's simply clumsy. He's clueless, disrespectful, and possibly doing it on purpose. After so long any normal human would learn.

    Load More Replies...
    Mel in Georgia
    Community Member
    Premium
    5 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think they need to "break" up!

    Orysha
    Community Member
    5 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The sooner the better. I'm a pretty clumsy person and I'm very very careful in order to compensate or at least try. If you're careless AND clumsy it means you don't respect your partner.

    Load More Replies...
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    The_Nicest_Misanthrope
    Community Member
    5 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This'd be a deal breaker for me. Being a klutz is one thing, but not apologising for it shows me that you don't respect me or my stuff one f*****g iota.

    Load More Comments
    GirlFriday
    Community Member
    Premium
    5 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had a boyfriend like this. Every single time he came to my home, something got broken. The final straw was when he managed to rip down a set of blinds and a curtain leaving holes in the wall where the brackets were. He goes, "oops." I asked him to leave. I repaired my wall, I replaced my blinds and curtain rod, and three months later, I replaced him. It was 100% disrespect on his part.

    tori Ohno
    Community Member
    5 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes, I don't believe for a moment that he's simply clumsy. He's clueless, disrespectful, and possibly doing it on purpose. After so long any normal human would learn.

    Load More Replies...
    Mel in Georgia
    Community Member
    Premium
    5 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think they need to "break" up!

    Orysha
    Community Member
    5 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The sooner the better. I'm a pretty clumsy person and I'm very very careful in order to compensate or at least try. If you're careless AND clumsy it means you don't respect your partner.

    Load More Replies...
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    The_Nicest_Misanthrope
    Community Member
    5 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This'd be a deal breaker for me. Being a klutz is one thing, but not apologising for it shows me that you don't respect me or my stuff one f*****g iota.

    Load More Comments
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