Couple Returns From Vacay To Find Their Son Baptized, MIL Loses Privileges For Doing It In Secret
Not everyone is allowed babysitting privileges. For instance, I wouldn’t allow just anyone to look after my pets without the absolute confidence that they’re trustworthy and will take care of them properly.
While I don’t have any children, I can only assume that when it comes to actual human babies (not just furry ones), the responsibility must be even more daunting. Trusting your own son to someone is a big deal, and it normally falls to grandparents. You’d assume they’d know what to do, but in today’s story, common sense went completely out the window.
Read more: Reddit
Grandparents are often the free babysitting choice for most new parents, but unfortunately, they can’t always be trusted
Image credits: freepik / Magnific (not the actual photo)
A couple entrusted their 2-year-old son to the mom’s parents while they were off to celebrate their anniversary
Image credits: freepik /Magnific (not the actual photo)
Once they returned, the man’s mother-in-law admitted she had finally baptized the toddler so his soul would be saved from the devil
Image credits: Walter Gadea / Unsplash(not the actual photo)
While both parents grew up in religious households, neither of them wanted the kid to be baptized, and the dad was especially angry about this
Image credits: nobaptismahole
The man decided to revoke all unsupervised babysitting privileges to his parents-in-law, but his wife didn’t agree with his decision
We can make a lot of assumptions, but you never truly know what might come your way, as today’s Original Poster (OP) found out. The story is told by a father who explains that, during a weekend getaway with his wife, they left their 2-year-old son with his in-laws. The couple expected everything to go smoothly, but when they returned, his mother-in-law greeted them with an unexpected surprise.
As it turns out, while they were away, she took the opportunity to have her grandson baptized without the parents’ consent. The OP says he isn’t necessarily an atheist. In fact, he explains that he was raised Lutheran and his wife was raised Catholic, but neither of them actively attends church, and early on they decided it would be best not to baptize their son. However, the grandmother clearly never accepted their decision.
The shocking news that their child had been baptized became a major issue for the couple. The OP explains that he was so blinded by rage that he grabbed his son and left immediately. Once they got home, the couple discussed what had happened, and the father decided he would no longer allow his in-laws to be alone with the toddler, explaining that he no longer trusted them.
Meanwhile, his wife begged him to forgive her mother, but the narrator stood firm, saying he would not change his decision. To the OP, his mother-in-law’s decision to go behind his back was a serious breach of trust, and he no longer felt comfortable letting her watch his son, as she had clearly disregarded his wishes as a father. Ultimately, the situation sparked major family drama.
Image credits: Wavebreak Media / Magnific (not the actual photo)
Unfortunately, while this situation is more specific, it illustrates a typical example of intergenerational conflict, which is very common. Experts explain that this phenomenon occurs when the beliefs of two generations converge. In this case, the grandmother believes her traditions and values should override the parents’ wishes. This can obviously lead to stress and discord.
It also creates a precedent that both parents probably wished to override. While both parents were brought up in religious households, studies show that 36 – 44% of adults under 30 are religiously unaffiliated in the U.S. alone, so it isn’t at all that surprising that nowadays young parents are actually trying to stray away from enforcing a religion upon their kids, in order to give them freedom to choose it themselves.
That said, after this situation occurred, what can the parents do? The OP suggested that he and his wife could go to couples counseling, as they were not seeing eye to eye, which could be a starting point. As for the mother-in-law, psychologists indicate that the best way to resolve conflicts is through establishing firm boundaries and roles. A firm conversation and an agreement on boundaries are necessary.
Netizens supported the OP’s decision while bringing up a good point in the comments, though. Many Baptist churches actually forbid secret Baptist ceremonies, and the situation could easily be reported to the bishop in question. So, do you think the dad is actually overreacting over some “water,” as the wife put it, or do you think his reaction is warranted? Let us know in the comments.
Netizens advised the man to talk to the bishop due to a possible illegal baptism and report the situation
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just a little bit of water. Just a little snip. Just a little bit of coconut oil. It's not about the baptism, it's about the "I'm doing with YOUR child what *I* want!". Also, that priests needs to be fired instantly. Wonder what he believes his god thinks of this sort of lie?
Also "you are doing it wrong! I know better! Im saving the baby from the imaginary train that is satan from rynning it over!"?? Also, might be a priest who think the baby now is saved from satan? But yes. 🫤
Load More Replies...Wouldn't an actual baptism (that would result in the child becoming a member of the catholic church) require parental consent?
Depends on the church. Catholic and Episcopalian, yes. LDS and Baptist, no.
Load More Replies...My MIL said the same - was very worried that if we didn't get our son baptised then the evil spirits would get him. We explained that we weren't doing it and why (mostly want it to be his choice, and we're not religious so it would be performative, etc). What did she do? NOTHING. Because despite this she's a sane human being who respects her grandchild's parents. MIL is batsh1t and no way would I let my son near her unsupervised if I were OP.
Or she's playing the long game and is going to persude the child when they hit 18.
Load More Replies...NTA. For centuries, Christians have forcibly converted others to their religion. Into the late 1900s, they kidnapped Indigenous people from their families and gave them to Christian schools and families. This reminds me of the Mortara Case. For those who don't know of it, in the mid 1800s, a Catholic servant of a Jewish family secretly baptized their infant son (Edgardo) when they thought he was about to d*e. Thankfully, he survived, but in the eyes of the church, this made him a Catholic. So the church kidnapped Edgardo and raised him themself. The Mortaras tried to get him back, but could not. He was raised as a Catholic and became a priest. They had little contact with him throughout the years, but he had been taken at such a young age (6) that of course he identified more with his kidnappers. It doesn't matter if there's no danger of it going this far. This act cannot be seen outside of its historical context. Christians have a duty to study history and not repeat the crimes.
File the complaint and demand that the child's name be removed from their baptism records. Something like that should be his choice when he's old enough to make that choice. If it was private, and his name isn't documented anywhere, it wasn't a real baptism. I'd tell this to MIL "It's not on record, which means it wasn't real and neither was the person who did it." She'll hopefully blurt the name out so you can file the charges against the individual.
I would leak the information that me, my wife an son converted to Islam. This would drive crazy that old f.a.rt. :-)
What a good Catholic to violate her daughter's marital bonds and cause strife between husband and wife. Also, does Mother believe in a loving and forgiving God? A Jesus who says, "Suffer the children unto me"? Does she think that Jesus will abandon her child to Hellfire because of the 'sins' of his parents? If she says that her Jesus turns his back on the unbaptized babes, then she is a flavour of Catholic that is VERY conservative -- one of the breakaway sects really -- and she might want to have doctrinal discussion with her priest. (After she's done driving a wedge through her daughter's marriage.)
On the one hand, it's a huge breach of trust, and to make such a big decision regarding someone else's child is completely wrong. On the other, it really makes no difference if someone has sprinkled water and said some words, there's still no god.
No, but what happens when the next boundary she steps over IS potentially harmful?
Load More Replies...Find what Church did this, the Catholic Church says its against Vatican Law for a priest to baptize without parental permission, both parents. Unless the priest thought the grandma was the actual mother, he can get in serious trouble, even defrocked. The Church takes this way more seriously than other things some priests do with kids
I agree with the husband, they agreed the baby wouldn't be baptized when she found out she was pregnant. I would also be royally pisssed at the in-laws for getting the kid baptized behind our backs. They wouldn't be alone with my kid either for a very long time if ever again. The wife saying her Mama only did what she thought was best fir him...HELL NO! As soon as they asked her parents to babysit she gets on the phone with the priest to set it up saying the parents are OK with it. I'm not Catholic & don't know much about the Catholic faith & I even know that the church doesn't allow it. I would either call or go to the church & tell this was done without our permission.
It's doesn't actually harm the child, and she believes it has to be done, or the kid will rot in hell, so I wouldn't say she's evil or anything...Still, w*f. She's a mad b*****d and so is everyone who went along with it.
What if the next boundary she stomps on IS harmful though? What if the kid gets ill and she’s also anti-vax or doesn’t believe in allergies/autoimmune disorders etc…..
Load More Replies...Wife is lucky. OP only banned unsupervised visits. If this were my child, they would never see him again.
It has been very interesting watching the country go from majority Christian to unaffiliated -- and the subsequent dying out of a lot of the old ugly beliefs, including misogyny and paternalistic authority. It is far better than it was in the 1950s, when you went to church unquestioning every Sunday. It's a vast improvement.
Ironically, as a Catholic mil is a heretic. The Church does not teach that unbaptized babies go to hell. It doesn't even suggest that they go to "limbo" anymore.
Isn’t it the Mormons or the LDS people who baptize strangers? Are they still doing that? If I remember correctly, they get birth records (or something) for every US citizen and baptize ‘em. Doesn’t matter to ‘em that folks don’t know they’ve been “saved”; they just wanna make sure that we’re not going to hell. I spent a lotta time worrying about that once, trying to find whether I could have it undone if it’d been done to me, but I eventually forgot about it until I saw this post. If it’s true that Catholics don’t think that unbaptized babies go to hell, then what’s the purpose of baptisms?
Load More Replies...I think ESH: The wife and MIL for doing it behind OP's back and OP (who says he isn't really religious) for losing his mind over it. I'm a Taoist, but can't imagine caring if my wife or anyone else "baptized" my daughter... people are way too zealous with religion and it's not helping anyone, anywhere.
just a little bit of water. Just a little snip. Just a little bit of coconut oil. It's not about the baptism, it's about the "I'm doing with YOUR child what *I* want!". Also, that priests needs to be fired instantly. Wonder what he believes his god thinks of this sort of lie?
Also "you are doing it wrong! I know better! Im saving the baby from the imaginary train that is satan from rynning it over!"?? Also, might be a priest who think the baby now is saved from satan? But yes. 🫤
Load More Replies...Wouldn't an actual baptism (that would result in the child becoming a member of the catholic church) require parental consent?
Depends on the church. Catholic and Episcopalian, yes. LDS and Baptist, no.
Load More Replies...My MIL said the same - was very worried that if we didn't get our son baptised then the evil spirits would get him. We explained that we weren't doing it and why (mostly want it to be his choice, and we're not religious so it would be performative, etc). What did she do? NOTHING. Because despite this she's a sane human being who respects her grandchild's parents. MIL is batsh1t and no way would I let my son near her unsupervised if I were OP.
Or she's playing the long game and is going to persude the child when they hit 18.
Load More Replies...NTA. For centuries, Christians have forcibly converted others to their religion. Into the late 1900s, they kidnapped Indigenous people from their families and gave them to Christian schools and families. This reminds me of the Mortara Case. For those who don't know of it, in the mid 1800s, a Catholic servant of a Jewish family secretly baptized their infant son (Edgardo) when they thought he was about to d*e. Thankfully, he survived, but in the eyes of the church, this made him a Catholic. So the church kidnapped Edgardo and raised him themself. The Mortaras tried to get him back, but could not. He was raised as a Catholic and became a priest. They had little contact with him throughout the years, but he had been taken at such a young age (6) that of course he identified more with his kidnappers. It doesn't matter if there's no danger of it going this far. This act cannot be seen outside of its historical context. Christians have a duty to study history and not repeat the crimes.
File the complaint and demand that the child's name be removed from their baptism records. Something like that should be his choice when he's old enough to make that choice. If it was private, and his name isn't documented anywhere, it wasn't a real baptism. I'd tell this to MIL "It's not on record, which means it wasn't real and neither was the person who did it." She'll hopefully blurt the name out so you can file the charges against the individual.
I would leak the information that me, my wife an son converted to Islam. This would drive crazy that old f.a.rt. :-)
What a good Catholic to violate her daughter's marital bonds and cause strife between husband and wife. Also, does Mother believe in a loving and forgiving God? A Jesus who says, "Suffer the children unto me"? Does she think that Jesus will abandon her child to Hellfire because of the 'sins' of his parents? If she says that her Jesus turns his back on the unbaptized babes, then she is a flavour of Catholic that is VERY conservative -- one of the breakaway sects really -- and she might want to have doctrinal discussion with her priest. (After she's done driving a wedge through her daughter's marriage.)
On the one hand, it's a huge breach of trust, and to make such a big decision regarding someone else's child is completely wrong. On the other, it really makes no difference if someone has sprinkled water and said some words, there's still no god.
No, but what happens when the next boundary she steps over IS potentially harmful?
Load More Replies...Find what Church did this, the Catholic Church says its against Vatican Law for a priest to baptize without parental permission, both parents. Unless the priest thought the grandma was the actual mother, he can get in serious trouble, even defrocked. The Church takes this way more seriously than other things some priests do with kids
I agree with the husband, they agreed the baby wouldn't be baptized when she found out she was pregnant. I would also be royally pisssed at the in-laws for getting the kid baptized behind our backs. They wouldn't be alone with my kid either for a very long time if ever again. The wife saying her Mama only did what she thought was best fir him...HELL NO! As soon as they asked her parents to babysit she gets on the phone with the priest to set it up saying the parents are OK with it. I'm not Catholic & don't know much about the Catholic faith & I even know that the church doesn't allow it. I would either call or go to the church & tell this was done without our permission.
It's doesn't actually harm the child, and she believes it has to be done, or the kid will rot in hell, so I wouldn't say she's evil or anything...Still, w*f. She's a mad b*****d and so is everyone who went along with it.
What if the next boundary she stomps on IS harmful though? What if the kid gets ill and she’s also anti-vax or doesn’t believe in allergies/autoimmune disorders etc…..
Load More Replies...Wife is lucky. OP only banned unsupervised visits. If this were my child, they would never see him again.
It has been very interesting watching the country go from majority Christian to unaffiliated -- and the subsequent dying out of a lot of the old ugly beliefs, including misogyny and paternalistic authority. It is far better than it was in the 1950s, when you went to church unquestioning every Sunday. It's a vast improvement.
Ironically, as a Catholic mil is a heretic. The Church does not teach that unbaptized babies go to hell. It doesn't even suggest that they go to "limbo" anymore.
Isn’t it the Mormons or the LDS people who baptize strangers? Are they still doing that? If I remember correctly, they get birth records (or something) for every US citizen and baptize ‘em. Doesn’t matter to ‘em that folks don’t know they’ve been “saved”; they just wanna make sure that we’re not going to hell. I spent a lotta time worrying about that once, trying to find whether I could have it undone if it’d been done to me, but I eventually forgot about it until I saw this post. If it’s true that Catholics don’t think that unbaptized babies go to hell, then what’s the purpose of baptisms?
Load More Replies...I think ESH: The wife and MIL for doing it behind OP's back and OP (who says he isn't really religious) for losing his mind over it. I'm a Taoist, but can't imagine caring if my wife or anyone else "baptized" my daughter... people are way too zealous with religion and it's not helping anyone, anywhere.
































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