Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app
Continue in app Continue in browser

The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here.

“They Then Called Me A Jerk”: Person Refuses Parents’ Request To Pay For Their Sister’s College Tuition And Fees
“They Then Called Me A Jerk”: Person Refuses Parents’ Request To Pay For Their Sister’s College Tuition And Fees
35

“They Then Called Me A Jerk”: Person Refuses Parents’ Request To Pay For Their Sister’s College Tuition And Fees

43

ADVERTISEMENT

Studying is stressful enough as it is. The constant pressure of meeting tight deadlines and cramming loads of information takes its toll. But the load gets a hell of a lot bigger when one has to deal with the financial side of seeking education as well. Students often have to take loans, which means juggling work and keeping up with the university schedule; and that is not an easy task to do.

Some people receive help from scholarships or family members. Yet these options are also not free from obligation. Scholarships often require impeccable grades or exceptional achievements in sports or other activities. As for families, they might have even higher requirements.

A student from the US poured his heart out online after his parents, who encouraged him to pursue a degree and agreed to cover the expenses, surprised him with a request to pay for the education of his younger sister. Bewildered by the situation, the guy turned to Reddit’s AITA community to ask if he’s the jerk for refusing, as this was never mentioned as part of the deal. He shared his story under the username u/snnsbsbssb and received lots of comments and opinions on the matter.

RELATED:

    Image credits: Tima Miroshnichenko (not the actual photo)

    A student opened up on Reddit about his parents requesting to pay for his sister’s education

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    Image credits: MART PRODUCTION (not the actual photo)

    The student was later surprised with an unexpected statement from his parents

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    Image credits: Prostock-studio (not the actual photo)

    The OP refused to cover the expenses of his sister’s education

    Image credits: u/snnsbsbssb

    Student loans are a huge load to bear, especially at a young age. Most of the youngsters are not financially stable when they seek such aid, which makes it hard to pay off. In addition to that, the sum is usually not a small one, thus, returning it takes quite some time, too.

    The average amount a student seeking a bachelor’s degree in a public university in the US borrows is nearly 33 thousand dollars. That might be difficult to cover with a part-time job, while stretching yourself thin working longer hours usually ends up hurting the performance at school.

    That is one of the reasons parents try to put their kids through school. Some might be saving from the moment the child is born and use it once it’s time for them to start the new chapter. Others might come to a certain agreement with their offspring when they become more independent. No matter the way, it lifts some of the weight off the student’s shoulders and allows them to concentrate on the joys and pains of studying.

    As seen in the OP’s case, sometimes help from the family comes with terms and conditions. They are not always discussed in advance and might come as expectations, which are sadly not always realistic. Whether they’re talked over beforehand or not, such expectations create additional stress for the child.

    According to the American Psychological Association, parental expectations have been on the rise for the last three decades. The association uncovered that it affects children even more than criticism coming from the parents does. In addition to that, it induces perfectionism as well, which might lead to deterioration of one’s mental well-being.

    Unfortunately for the OP, he had to face the pressure of unrealistic expectations of him paying for his sister’s education. To make matters worse, they came as a surprise, as if the situation was not stressful enough. Be that as it may, the young student received plenty of support from the online community he shared his story with.

    Members of the community shared their insight and opinions, most of which agreed the OP is not a jerk

    Share on Facebook
    Miglė Miliūtė

    Miglė Miliūtė

    Writer, Community member

    Read more »

    A writer here at Bored Panda, I am a lover of good music, good food, and good company, which makes food-related topics and feel-good stories my favorite ones to cover. Passionate about traveling and concerts, I constantly seek occasions to visit places yet personally unexplored. I also enjoy spending free time outdoors, trying out different sports—even if I don’t look too graceful at it—or socializing over a cup of coffee.

    Read less »
    Miglė Miliūtė

    Miglė Miliūtė

    Writer, Community member

    A writer here at Bored Panda, I am a lover of good music, good food, and good company, which makes food-related topics and feel-good stories my favorite ones to cover. Passionate about traveling and concerts, I constantly seek occasions to visit places yet personally unexplored. I also enjoy spending free time outdoors, trying out different sports—even if I don’t look too graceful at it—or socializing over a cup of coffee.

    What do you think ?
    JuniorCJ82
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When is it EVER a sibling's "obligation" to pay for a sibling's schooling? NTA 3000. Go NC and move on with your life.

    Tams21
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's totally unrealistic for a graduate in any field and at any level to be able to afford to pay the entire college tuition of a sibling, all the more if she's to go to an ivy league university. No matter how much the parents say they want it, there's just no way it's going to happen and this I what the OP needs to tell the parents, if necessary over and over.

    Marcellus II
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ivy League is $50--80K/year, not really equal to the occasional first-class domestic upgrade cost.

    Carol Emory
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your parents pulled a bait and switch on you. "Here son...we'll pay for your cheaper education and, in return, you can go into life long debt putting your sister through college." Bait and switch doesn't hold up in the corporate world, it shouldn't hold up here. If I were you, I'd tally everything they paid for over your college lifetime and tell them you will pay them back what they spent on you so THEY can fund your sister's Ivy League education. And if they threaten you with court, good luck in them trying to produce a contract in which you agreed to finance your sister's education.

    E V
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's assuming he's able to get a good enough paying job right away without going in the hole himself. Could take him years to get a decent paying job. I haven't be able to pay off my student loans and I've been out for several years. Wish I never went to be honest. I came from low income and got pushed into college as a first generation college student. Never finished my degree. Could no longer afford to.

    Load More Replies...
    Tiffany M
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Definitely NTA, but I have to question the intelligence of the Reddit crowd. Too many people saying take out loans or give up the degree. More information is needed before that kind of advice is given... Edit: Read some of the new comments, sounds like the Reddit crowd showed up.

    E V
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Jokes on them. Very few graduates get high paying jobs after graduating. He should talk to his sister and give her a heads up. This was set up to fail from the get go. Considering the age difference between the siblings, what if he started a family and have kids? If sister freaks out on brother, he should consider going no contact with the whole family. Hopefully the sister is reasonable and be upset with their parents and not OP. But definitely don't accept any more money from them. I wouldn't bother paying them back either since nothing was said beforehand. Like the one commenter said, even the worst loan sharks have contracts. Sad day when loan sharks are more honest than these parents.

    Lainey
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Will these conversations continue here at BP? If I wanted to talk to Reddit, I'd be on Reddit.

    Darkness
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm confused, just cuz he's getting an advanced degree, there no guarantee he'll be able to even afford his sister's education. Those are some huge assumptions.

    Mary Rogers
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A rotten deal for both siblings. I bet the sister doesn't know that her parents are not planning on paying for her education so they have likely lied to both of them. Now they have set up a situation where the sister may blame her brother for not paying (hopefully she won't) which could result in a lifelong rift. Stringing both of them along like that is really horrible parenting.

    June Miller
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When they ask you if you don't love your sister, you just ask them straight back why they don't love their daughter enough to have planned for her college tuition. However you should immediately look at paying for yourself from now on. The weirdest bit is them paying for you to fly first class - why? That's just a weird waste of money

    Load More Comments
    JuniorCJ82
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When is it EVER a sibling's "obligation" to pay for a sibling's schooling? NTA 3000. Go NC and move on with your life.

    Tams21
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's totally unrealistic for a graduate in any field and at any level to be able to afford to pay the entire college tuition of a sibling, all the more if she's to go to an ivy league university. No matter how much the parents say they want it, there's just no way it's going to happen and this I what the OP needs to tell the parents, if necessary over and over.

    Marcellus II
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ivy League is $50--80K/year, not really equal to the occasional first-class domestic upgrade cost.

    Carol Emory
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your parents pulled a bait and switch on you. "Here son...we'll pay for your cheaper education and, in return, you can go into life long debt putting your sister through college." Bait and switch doesn't hold up in the corporate world, it shouldn't hold up here. If I were you, I'd tally everything they paid for over your college lifetime and tell them you will pay them back what they spent on you so THEY can fund your sister's Ivy League education. And if they threaten you with court, good luck in them trying to produce a contract in which you agreed to finance your sister's education.

    E V
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's assuming he's able to get a good enough paying job right away without going in the hole himself. Could take him years to get a decent paying job. I haven't be able to pay off my student loans and I've been out for several years. Wish I never went to be honest. I came from low income and got pushed into college as a first generation college student. Never finished my degree. Could no longer afford to.

    Load More Replies...
    Tiffany M
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Definitely NTA, but I have to question the intelligence of the Reddit crowd. Too many people saying take out loans or give up the degree. More information is needed before that kind of advice is given... Edit: Read some of the new comments, sounds like the Reddit crowd showed up.

    E V
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Jokes on them. Very few graduates get high paying jobs after graduating. He should talk to his sister and give her a heads up. This was set up to fail from the get go. Considering the age difference between the siblings, what if he started a family and have kids? If sister freaks out on brother, he should consider going no contact with the whole family. Hopefully the sister is reasonable and be upset with their parents and not OP. But definitely don't accept any more money from them. I wouldn't bother paying them back either since nothing was said beforehand. Like the one commenter said, even the worst loan sharks have contracts. Sad day when loan sharks are more honest than these parents.

    Lainey
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Will these conversations continue here at BP? If I wanted to talk to Reddit, I'd be on Reddit.

    Darkness
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm confused, just cuz he's getting an advanced degree, there no guarantee he'll be able to even afford his sister's education. Those are some huge assumptions.

    Mary Rogers
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A rotten deal for both siblings. I bet the sister doesn't know that her parents are not planning on paying for her education so they have likely lied to both of them. Now they have set up a situation where the sister may blame her brother for not paying (hopefully she won't) which could result in a lifelong rift. Stringing both of them along like that is really horrible parenting.

    June Miller
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When they ask you if you don't love your sister, you just ask them straight back why they don't love their daughter enough to have planned for her college tuition. However you should immediately look at paying for yourself from now on. The weirdest bit is them paying for you to fly first class - why? That's just a weird waste of money

    Load More Comments
    You May Like
    Related on Bored Panda
    Popular on Bored Panda
    Trending on Bored Panda
    Also on Bored Panda
    ADVERTISEMENT