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Whether it’s setting up a lemonade stand, selling Girl Scout cookies, or simply watching how your parents deal with household expenses, our upbringing plays a big part in shaping our relationship with money.
There are many ways parents can explain finances to their children, but when Reddit user Disappointedkiddo198 set out to educate her 12-year-old on the matter, the girl’s teacher thought the woman was putting too much pressure on the kid.
In a post on the subreddit ‘Am I the [Jerk]?‘, the mom said that the lady even contacted her and gave her a scolding for it.
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This woman tried to involve her daughter in the family’s budget decision-making
Image credits: Mary Taylor / Pexels (not the actual photo)
But the kid’s teacher had a problem with it
Image credits: Selvin Esteban / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Joshua Hoehne / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Alexander Grey / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: disappointedkiddo198
Experts believe that teaching your children about money is the right thing to do
Mitchell Kraus, founder of Capital Intelligence Associates in Santa Monica, California, said, “The best way parents can teach their children good financial habits is by discussing the money decisions that they make.”
Kraus acknowledges that everyone might have a different approach, but they should at least discuss their thinking on spending and saving with their kids.
“Most Americans have a choice on how to spend their money,” he said. “Some choose nicer cars and houses. Some choose experiences. Going over the choices with your children helps them understand your values and that life is full of choices.”
However, this shouldn’t come as a one-and-done conversation. “Where most parents stop short is following up with the children on how well those choices turned out and what choices they might want to make in the future.”
Judging from the Reddit post, it sounds like the mother was just taking a proactive approach to instilling financial awareness in her child.
In fact, according to experts, between the ages of 9 and 12 is a good time to get kids thinking about the value of money, and comparison shopping is actually one of the most effective ways to go about it.
Only this time, instead of reading the store’s price labels and comparing the bulk amount per cent, it was about amusement rides and candles.
People unanimously said that the author of the post did nothing wrong and that the teacher was out of her depth
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What do you think ?
Shina Kohana 1 year ago
She’s not the the AH for this. I was taught something similar at that age and ended up being more financially prepared when I was older. Kids wanna know finances and too many adults beg for schools to teach them. It’s our jobs as parents to fill the gaps in our children’s education on these things. My eldest is already learning! My youngest still likes to splurge… I hope he’ll get there.
Remi (He/Him) 1 year ago
My parents were struggling financially when I was a little younger than the op's daughter and I wish my parents would have explained it to me at the time. I of course knew something was up, but not knowing the facts led to some catastrophising and anxiety on my part. 12 is a perfect age to learn about things like how to manage your money anyway, so strong NTA.
majandess 1 year ago
We didn't have a lot of money growing up, but my mom brought all us kids in on the family finances. We helped pay the bills, we helped budget and plan... And not once have I ever thought to myself that she was in the wrong. I found it to be empowering and highly valuable - so much so that I do it with my own kid. My job as a parent - just like with every other animal that rears their young - is to teach my offspring how to become a functional adult. He won't learn money management without exposure and experience. It takes time and a safe space to practice and make mistakes. Mom was not in the wrong at all; teacher was way off the mark.
Load More Replies...
StrangeOne 1 year ago
The teacher is the TA for not staying in her lane. The mom did a good job. What's the teacher expecting? That parents go into debt over leisurely field trips? There's not been one expensive field trip I've gone on all throughout school. Maybe camping, but that's it. I believe I've even hid some permission slips from my mom when I saw the big numbers of the price. Like $100-$1K. That was when I knew all the mean, snobby kids would be gone for a few days, or even a week, and I could relax in school, playing Froggy on the computer, read a book or some other fun game all day. It would be a quarter of the class left behind.
Praea Kitten 1 year ago
I like the cut of your jib! Fly your freaky rainbow and go against the grain! I always love to see folks who march to the beat of their own horn, they change the world 🌍😃😃😃
Load More Replies...
Sonja 1 year ago
Every person who 'protects' their children by not teaching them about life is a neglectful parent. You don't have to wonder that you see so many entitled, selfish little monsters out there if parents are to cowardly to explain such things. Children need to learn this, and teaching it at that point was the right decision. That way the child was saved from feelings of being unloved by her parents. She was treated with respect and kindness. He mom showed her that she trusted her and loved her by explaining to her why she couldn't have bought, but she also gave her reassurance. The daughter knows now that as long as they can afford some frivolities, it's not so bad.
Kit Black 1 year ago (edited)
I'd bet that teacher got quite a bit of negative feedback from various parents about the short notice on this trip and decided to take it out on a parent who was actually HONEST with her kid... And looking at the single downvote on each other comment, apparently the teacher is reading the article 🤔
StrangeOne 1 year ago
I've had teachers do that, and very obviously. My Grade 9 social studies teacher had a weird way of teaching about the justice system, using hockey game rules as an analogy. Then he would spend the rest half of the class talking about sports with the jocks. About 5 of us failed. Some just passing. Those who don't follow or have much understanding of sports were just lost. My folks mentioned to the teacher about how I was suddenly not doing well in a subject I normally did decently well in. I guess a few of the parents complained, too, during parent/teacher night. The next day in class, the teacher kept us behind and yelled at us about our parents complaints, slammed stapler on the floor, dislodging staple that hit my friend. Why this guy wasn't fired, I have no clue. None of us went to the principal or vice principal because we felt we would get in trouble.
Load More Replies...
Auntriarch 1 year ago
Exactly. 12 is well old enough. Besides which, I bet the child already knew more than she was told
Load More Replies... Panda Kicki 1 year ago
That trip would not have been allowed here. All in school is free here and if they want to make all trip all should be included. That means parents dont pay. Kids sell cookies or so to earn it.
Elisabeth 1 year ago
Here parents do pay, but there is a fund for kids whose parents can't afford it (based on trust, no proof needed). So every one can go on the school trips.
Load More Replies...
Brindle Nutter 1 year ago
Mom did right and I hope she lit into that teacher. I'd have torn that teacher a new a$$hole
E M 1 year ago
OP is absolutely NTA for explaining to her almost-teenage daughter the basics of their current financial situation. She did it in an age-appropriate way as well and as others have pointed out, the daughter seems to have handled it well. I was extremely upset by how far the teacher overreached and injected their personal beliefs onto the parents. If I were OP, I would speak to the principal about this conduct.
Shina Kohana 1 year ago
She’s not the the AH for this. I was taught something similar at that age and ended up being more financially prepared when I was older. Kids wanna know finances and too many adults beg for schools to teach them. It’s our jobs as parents to fill the gaps in our children’s education on these things. My eldest is already learning! My youngest still likes to splurge… I hope he’ll get there.
Remi (He/Him) 1 year ago
My parents were struggling financially when I was a little younger than the op's daughter and I wish my parents would have explained it to me at the time. I of course knew something was up, but not knowing the facts led to some catastrophising and anxiety on my part. 12 is a perfect age to learn about things like how to manage your money anyway, so strong NTA.
majandess 1 year ago
We didn't have a lot of money growing up, but my mom brought all us kids in on the family finances. We helped pay the bills, we helped budget and plan... And not once have I ever thought to myself that she was in the wrong. I found it to be empowering and highly valuable - so much so that I do it with my own kid. My job as a parent - just like with every other animal that rears their young - is to teach my offspring how to become a functional adult. He won't learn money management without exposure and experience. It takes time and a safe space to practice and make mistakes. Mom was not in the wrong at all; teacher was way off the mark.
Load More Replies... StrangeOne 1 year ago
The teacher is the TA for not staying in her lane. The mom did a good job. What's the teacher expecting? That parents go into debt over leisurely field trips? There's not been one expensive field trip I've gone on all throughout school. Maybe camping, but that's it. I believe I've even hid some permission slips from my mom when I saw the big numbers of the price. Like $100-$1K. That was when I knew all the mean, snobby kids would be gone for a few days, or even a week, and I could relax in school, playing Froggy on the computer, read a book or some other fun game all day. It would be a quarter of the class left behind.
Praea Kitten 1 year ago
I like the cut of your jib! Fly your freaky rainbow and go against the grain! I always love to see folks who march to the beat of their own horn, they change the world 🌍😃😃😃
Load More Replies... Sonja 1 year ago
Every person who 'protects' their children by not teaching them about life is a neglectful parent. You don't have to wonder that you see so many entitled, selfish little monsters out there if parents are to cowardly to explain such things. Children need to learn this, and teaching it at that point was the right decision. That way the child was saved from feelings of being unloved by her parents. She was treated with respect and kindness. He mom showed her that she trusted her and loved her by explaining to her why she couldn't have bought, but she also gave her reassurance. The daughter knows now that as long as they can afford some frivolities, it's not so bad.
Kit Black 1 year ago (edited)
I'd bet that teacher got quite a bit of negative feedback from various parents about the short notice on this trip and decided to take it out on a parent who was actually HONEST with her kid... And looking at the single downvote on each other comment, apparently the teacher is reading the article 🤔
StrangeOne 1 year ago
I've had teachers do that, and very obviously. My Grade 9 social studies teacher had a weird way of teaching about the justice system, using hockey game rules as an analogy. Then he would spend the rest half of the class talking about sports with the jocks. About 5 of us failed. Some just passing. Those who don't follow or have much understanding of sports were just lost. My folks mentioned to the teacher about how I was suddenly not doing well in a subject I normally did decently well in. I guess a few of the parents complained, too, during parent/teacher night. The next day in class, the teacher kept us behind and yelled at us about our parents complaints, slammed stapler on the floor, dislodging staple that hit my friend. Why this guy wasn't fired, I have no clue. None of us went to the principal or vice principal because we felt we would get in trouble.
Load More Replies... Auntriarch 1 year ago
Exactly. 12 is well old enough. Besides which, I bet the child already knew more than she was told
Load More Replies... Panda Kicki 1 year ago
That trip would not have been allowed here. All in school is free here and if they want to make all trip all should be included. That means parents dont pay. Kids sell cookies or so to earn it.
Elisabeth 1 year ago
Here parents do pay, but there is a fund for kids whose parents can't afford it (based on trust, no proof needed). So every one can go on the school trips.
Load More Replies... Brindle Nutter 1 year ago
Mom did right and I hope she lit into that teacher. I'd have torn that teacher a new a$$hole
E M 1 year ago
OP is absolutely NTA for explaining to her almost-teenage daughter the basics of their current financial situation. She did it in an age-appropriate way as well and as others have pointed out, the daughter seems to have handled it well. I was extremely upset by how far the teacher overreached and injected their personal beliefs onto the parents. If I were OP, I would speak to the principal about this conduct.
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