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Woman Feels Pressured To Visit Single Dad Every Weekend, Stops When She Finds Out He Tracked Her
Woman Feels Pressured To Visit Single Dad Every Weekend, Stops When She Finds Out He Tracked Her
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Woman Feels Pressured To Visit Single Dad Every Weekend, Stops When She Finds Out He Tracked Her

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Parents often say that everything they do is for the well-being of their children. However, sometimes they might not realize they’re going overboard with the “everything” bit. In fact, 62% of parents in the U.S. admit they can be too overprotective sometimes. And that goes for parents whose children are already adults.

One woman shared her story of an overprotective dad. When she found a tracker in her car, she asked others whether confronting him about it was inappropriate. People validated her feelings, and many pointed out that such behavior was more alarming than just regular overprotectiveness.

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    Overbearing parents sometimes don’t leave you alone, even when you’re in your 30s

    Image credits: Dimaberlin / Envato (not the actual photo)

    This woman found a tracker on her car and decided to confront her overprotective dad about it

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    Image credits: suspensionnn

    Image credits: Prostock-studio / Envato (not the actual photo)

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    Overprotective parents often tend to be authoritarian

    Having overprotective parents as a kid is one thing; having your parents overstep privacy boundaries when you’re an adult is entirely different. As children, we’re not able to care for ourselves physically and emotionally, so parents do that for us. Unfortunately, sometimes, they do it in a way that hinders our development of a healthy sense of self.

    Experts also refer to overprotective parenting as controlling parenting or authoritarian parenting. It’s when parents meddle too much in the business of their children, wanting to control many aspects of their lives.

    When kids are little, it’s about not letting them go play out in the street because it’s not safe. It’s disapproving of friendships with other kids the parents deem to be bad influences. And if someone were to ask the parents why they do it, the answer would probably be that it’s for the child’s sake.

    Yet the reality is the opposite. Experts claim that overly protective parents focus more on their needs than on the needs of the child. Licensed Clinical Psychologist Seth Meyers, Psy.D., writes that overprotectiveness “is more about a parent’s own anxieties, insecurities and paranoia than about merely protecting the child.”

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    So when the child grows up, the parents might control them in other ways. Some offer unsolicited life advice, and others try controlling their adult children through financial rewards that come with strings. Other times, they guilt-trip their children for not appreciating everything they’ve done for them. And in cases like this one, they overstep privacy boundaries by tracking them without their knowledge.

    Overly protective parents might also be too dependent on their children

    Image credits: Monstera Production / Pexels (not the actual photo)

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    Meyers also suggests that helicopter parents are controlling because they might be too co-dependent on their children. They want them to stay home as much and as long as possible to spend as much time together as they can.

    Co-dependency works both ways here: parents overprotect their kids because they’re too co-dependent, and the kids they raise might turn out too co-dependent on their parents because they weren’t given the chance to develop their sense of self properly.

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    According to a rehabilitation center Alta Mira, parents do so because they probably didn’t have a healthy relationship with their parents. “When a parent is codependent on their child, they place an unhealthy need on him or her for their own emotional, psychological, and social support—usually due to the lack of such defining systems in the parent’s own upbringing.”

    One study found that the majority of co-dependent mothers also suffer from depression, anxiety, and even personality disorders. So, experts link overprotective behaviors from parents to them having co-dependent personalities. It illustrates how hard it can be for people to break the cycles of unhealthy behaviors.

    “It is crucial that all parents regardless of their own histories, issues with separation or codependence and so forth recognize that some level of independence granted to the child will help them grow and evolve,” Meyers notes.

    Such a violation of the daughter’s boundaries was a major red flag for many people

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    The author later added an update, saying she decided to go low contact with her father

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    Kornelija Viečaitė

    Kornelija Viečaitė

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    Hi there, fellow pandas! As a person (over)educated both in social sciences and literature, I'm most interested in how we connect and behave online (and sometimes in real life too.) The human experience is weird, so I try my best to put its peculiarities in writing. As a person who grew up chronically online, I now try to marry two sides of myself: the one who knows too much about MySpace, and the one who can't settle and needs to see every corner of the world.

    Read less »
    Kornelija Viečaitė

    Kornelija Viečaitė

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Hi there, fellow pandas! As a person (over)educated both in social sciences and literature, I'm most interested in how we connect and behave online (and sometimes in real life too.) The human experience is weird, so I try my best to put its peculiarities in writing. As a person who grew up chronically online, I now try to marry two sides of myself: the one who knows too much about MySpace, and the one who can't settle and needs to see every corner of the world.

    What do you think ?
    Melissa Harris
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Protective or concerned would have been offering to pay for a home security system; this is controlling.

    arthbach
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd contact a friend in another country, and post the AirTag between us.

    notlikeyou1971
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's beyond ridiculous. It's controlling. You are more than old enough to live your own life. He's invasive.

    Paul C
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Personally, I would have gone no contact when he refused to reveal its location - that proves ill intent. Then reported it to the police that someone has a tracker the car - I'm sure they would have helped find it then traced the offender. There is no "but its family" card when someone is breaking the law and spying on you.

    Hphizzle
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Holy under-reacting, Batman!! The behavior of the father is either sad, scary, or super controlling. She’s taking a small step on the right direction with LC and therapy.

    Royal Stray
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She's under reaction because she's used to it. She views it as a minor annoyance but doesn't actually realize how messed up it is. It's very common with people from some type of toxic or abusive home.

    Load More Replies...
    Hope Tirendi
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He's controlling and borderline incestuous like the boy moms. Time to cut the cord. If he gets therapy then maybe we'd talk but until then he should be very lonely

    Venom Drop
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Therapy is the best answer if wanting to continue with the relationship. It's ok to say no to family. It's ok to leave family and find new family as well.

    Load More Replies...
    ColleenCanuck
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sorry, creepy ...its your dad. Not appropriate whatsoever. Its stalking.

    Glasofruix
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would've taken the airtag and put it on a bus or a train.

    Maryna
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would wager that her father's invasive and contrilling behaviour led to her strong desire now for so much privacy. It's trauma.

    René Sauer
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If OP had been 10 years younger I would have said "Eh, still pretty weird, but I can understand a bit." But at 32? Nah.

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’ve got a worse one for ya: my sister is pissed that I don’t have Find Friends turned on on my iPhone. She constantly asks me where I am. I’m 42. She’s 48. Every time I go home to visit my mom and sister, I lock my van and hide my keys (so she can’t toss a tracker inside) and check my undercarriage when I leave. My family once installed a GPS device in the engine of an employee’s PERSONAL VEHICLE so they could “keep an eye on him”. He had no idea they had done that. He did not give them permission. They did it illegally. They try to suggest to me to take my van to “their mechanic” when it needs repairs; they try to make it appealing by saying they’ll pay for the repairs. Haha, no. My fam is unhinged.

    Load More Replies...
    Load More Comments
    Melissa Harris
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Protective or concerned would have been offering to pay for a home security system; this is controlling.

    arthbach
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd contact a friend in another country, and post the AirTag between us.

    notlikeyou1971
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's beyond ridiculous. It's controlling. You are more than old enough to live your own life. He's invasive.

    Paul C
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Personally, I would have gone no contact when he refused to reveal its location - that proves ill intent. Then reported it to the police that someone has a tracker the car - I'm sure they would have helped find it then traced the offender. There is no "but its family" card when someone is breaking the law and spying on you.

    Hphizzle
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Holy under-reacting, Batman!! The behavior of the father is either sad, scary, or super controlling. She’s taking a small step on the right direction with LC and therapy.

    Royal Stray
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She's under reaction because she's used to it. She views it as a minor annoyance but doesn't actually realize how messed up it is. It's very common with people from some type of toxic or abusive home.

    Load More Replies...
    Hope Tirendi
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He's controlling and borderline incestuous like the boy moms. Time to cut the cord. If he gets therapy then maybe we'd talk but until then he should be very lonely

    Venom Drop
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Therapy is the best answer if wanting to continue with the relationship. It's ok to say no to family. It's ok to leave family and find new family as well.

    Load More Replies...
    ColleenCanuck
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sorry, creepy ...its your dad. Not appropriate whatsoever. Its stalking.

    Glasofruix
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would've taken the airtag and put it on a bus or a train.

    Maryna
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would wager that her father's invasive and contrilling behaviour led to her strong desire now for so much privacy. It's trauma.

    René Sauer
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If OP had been 10 years younger I would have said "Eh, still pretty weird, but I can understand a bit." But at 32? Nah.

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’ve got a worse one for ya: my sister is pissed that I don’t have Find Friends turned on on my iPhone. She constantly asks me where I am. I’m 42. She’s 48. Every time I go home to visit my mom and sister, I lock my van and hide my keys (so she can’t toss a tracker inside) and check my undercarriage when I leave. My family once installed a GPS device in the engine of an employee’s PERSONAL VEHICLE so they could “keep an eye on him”. He had no idea they had done that. He did not give them permission. They did it illegally. They try to suggest to me to take my van to “their mechanic” when it needs repairs; they try to make it appealing by saying they’ll pay for the repairs. Haha, no. My fam is unhinged.

    Load More Replies...
    Load More Comments
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