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The word incel is short for “involuntary celibate.” It’s most often used to describe men who say they want a romantic or sexual relationship but feel unable to find one. In many cases, that frustration gets aimed at women and girls through blame, objectification, and outright insults.
Online, incels gather in communities to swap stories and reinforce each other’s worldview. And while platforms like Reddit have banned some incel groups over violent content, there are still dedicated forums on the internet where they can post freely.
That’s what TikToker Kylie Brewer set out to show. In a video, she shared what it’s like inside one of these forums, and what she found was exactly as ugly as you’d expect—packed with misogyny, discrimination, and racism. She called the content “disgusting” and argued that websites like this should be banned.
Read more below, but be warned: some of the content may be upsetting.
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On social media, many incel groups have been banned over violent content
Young woman speaking on camera in a casual setting discussing experiences inside popular incel forums undercover.
Instead of saying “women,” incels often use the term “foid,” a dehumanizing label that implies they don’t see women as people
Screenshot of an online incel forum conversation discussing the derogatory term used for women in hostile online communities.
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Seeing language like that, many viewers were disgusted by what they saw on the forum
Commenter Samurai Pizza Cat, a woman, replies firmly in online incel forum discussing mistakes, reflecting harsh forum culture.
Screenshot of an online comment highlighting gender statistics from a user in incel forums, reflecting toxic discussions.
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Screenshot of an online comment in an incel forum discussing men as victims, highlighting toxic forum culture.
Comment from Luke expressing disgust about hate speech in incel forums, questioning how such forums are allowed to exist.
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However, some men jumped in to defend it in the comments
Comment from AUGIS_v2 stating men are getting robbed of their personal space, with a sad emoji and 615 likes shown.
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Screenshot of incel forum comments discussing account restrictions in a hidden online incel community.
Screenshot of an online discussion highlighting hate speech in incel forums debated as free speech.
Screenshot of online comments discussing incel forums, highlighting harsh and disturbing viewpoints expressed there.
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Screenshot of an online conversation showing comments reflecting the toxic nature of incel forums.
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Screenshot of a social media comment thread discussing posts from incel forums with users reacting humorously.
Comment on social media from user mob reacting with disbelief, related to women going undercover in incel forums.
Comment discussing incel forums' social media bans and women's ability to speak freely on Twitter and Reddit.
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Screenshot of a social media comment discussing the difficulty of banning websites, related to incel forums.
Comments from an online incel forum discussing violence and perspectives within the incel community and society.
Where did incels come from and what do they believe?
The term “incel” might seem relatively new to mainstream conversations, but its origins tell a surprisingly different story. In 1997, a Canadian woman named Alana created an online community to connect with others experiencing similar struggles with dating and relationships. She originally called it “involuntary celibacy,” which she shortened to “invcel” and eventually “incel.”
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The space was meant to be inclusive and supportive—a place for people to share their experiences without judgment.
However, by the early 2000s, the community had begun to change. As incel communities established themselves on forum-based websites like Reddit and 4chan, the term transformed from its inclusive origins.
What started as a supportive space evolved into something far more troubling. By 2010, incel became associated with hateful rhetoric and threats from men’s rights groups on fringe platforms.
Today’s incel communities share a specific worldview built around what they call “the blackpill”—a nihilistic belief that society is structured to benefit attractive men and women at the expense of everyone else.
Members use specialized terminology to describe this perceived hierarchy. “Chads” and “Stacys” represent attractive men and women at the top, while “normies” occupy the middle tier. Incels place themselves at the bottom, believing their appearance makes romantic relationships impossible.
The community’s language reveals much about its ideology. Terms reference “The Matrix,” where taking a “red pill” means seeing harsh truths about reality. For incels, being “blackpilled” means accepting their belief that physical appearance determines everything in dating and that this hierarchy cannot be changed.
Other terms are more concerning—some members use dehumanizing language when discussing women, reflecting the deep-seated hostility that characterizes many of these spaces.
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What makes incel forums truly dangerous is that their online conversations don’t just stay online
While reading about incel ideology is deeply disturbing, the most dangerous aspect is how this online rhetoric translates into real-world consequences.
A study by researchers at Rutgers University and Penn State examined how new members are recruited and radicalized through the community’s specific language and belief system. The research identified a “pipeline” process where members move through increasingly extreme positions, from initial frustration to the most radical “blackpill” ideology.
The connection between online incel communities and violence has been documented by security agencies. In 2020, a Texas Department of Public Safety report warned that the incel movement represented an emerging domestic threat.
A study by Bruce Hoffman and colleagues concluded that the violent manifestations of incel ideology pose a genuine threat that should not be dismissed by law enforcement.
Research examining incel forums found that some members actively participating in the online community had histories of violence toward women, including harassment and misconduct. A recent study used composite measures of harmful attitudes including hostility and justification of violence, noting these measures have been linked to real-world harm.
Many dismiss incel communities as simply out-of-touch individuals who should be ignored. But researchers and people speaking up online about these spaces are doing important work.
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Paying attention to how these communities operate and promote their ideology helps us understand a documented threat. Ignoring them completely could allow harmful beliefs to grow unchecked.
In another video, a woman shared that researchers monitored an incel forum for 18 months
Woman discussing findings from undercover research in incel forums exposing harsh realities online.
Commenters, once again, pointed out just how out of touch incels seem
Reddit post showing intense incel forum discussion with women challenging aggressive language and attitudes online.
Screenshot of a female user undercover in online incel forums, revealing disturbing and harsh conversations.
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Screenshot of a Reddit comment describing how incels live in a detached, destructive online world far from reality.
Screenshot of an online comment discussing women under 35, highlighting harsh views found in incel forums.
Screenshot of an anonymous forum post discussing the unnoticed existence of many women in incel forums.
Screenshot of a forum post discussing women’s experiences and challenges in incel forums and online dating.
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Screenshot of an incel forum post revealing misogynistic views shared by users targeting women online.
Screenshot of an online forum post discussing perspectives found in incel forums where women go undercover.
Screenshot of an online comment discussing average men and women in the context of incel forum discussions.
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Comment from an anonymous user discussing research on incel forums about gender messaging dynamics and physical attractiveness.
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Screenshot of a comment from an online incel forum discussing desensitization to adult content among users.
Comment from incel forum user expressing harsh views on social Darwinism and loneliness in incel communities.
Screenshot of a harsh comment in an incel forum revealing negative attitudes toward women undercover.
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Comment from an incel forum discussing harsh views on women’s appearance and social value in incel communities.
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Screenshot of a user comment discussing challenges in dating and insights from women reading incel forums.
Screenshot of an online post discussing appearance effort in incel forums, highlighting harsh community views on women.
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Screenshot of an anonymous forum post revealing incel community attitudes, highlighting the dark reality of incel forums.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing public opinions, related to women going undercover in incel forums.
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Screenshot of a Reddit comment humorously comparing incels and Excel, highlighting incel forum culture and language.
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Screenshot of an online forum discussion showing users debating average appearance in conversations related to incel forums.
Reddit comment discussing distorted self-views and gender dynamics in incel forums from an undercover perspective.
Incel forums discussion showing distorted views on women and reality, highlighting incel community's mindset and behavior.
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Screenshot of a forum post questioning if members are aware they are incels or refer to themselves as nice guys in incel forums.
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Comment from incel forum discussing dangers women face with unwanted attention and red flags from incels online.
Screenshot of an online forum post discussing attention dynamics, related to women undercover in incel forums research.
Screenshot of an anonymous comment in an incel forum discussing hygiene and behavior of men.
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Screenshot of a user comment in an incel forum discussing perceptions of average men and their desirability.
Screenshot of an online forum post discussing logic and reason in incel communities, highlighting toxic forum culture.
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Oleksandra is an experienced copywriter from Ukraine with a master’s degree in International Communication. Having covered everything from education, finance, and marketing to art, pop culture, and memes, she now brings her storytelling skills to Bored Panda. For the past six years, she’s been living and working in Vilnius, Lithuania.
Oleksandra is an experienced copywriter from Ukraine with a master’s degree in International Communication. Having covered everything from education, finance, and marketing to art, pop culture, and memes, she now brings her storytelling skills to Bored Panda. For the past six years, she’s been living and working in Vilnius, Lithuania.
I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. I kickstart my day with a mug of coffee bigger than my head, ready to tackle Photoshop. I navigate through the digital jungle with finesse, fueled by bamboo breaks and caffeine kicks. When the workday winds down, you might catch me devouring bamboo snacks while binging on the latest TV show, gaming or I could be out in nature, soaking up the tranquility and communing with my inner panda.
I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. I kickstart my day with a mug of coffee bigger than my head, ready to tackle Photoshop. I navigate through the digital jungle with finesse, fueled by bamboo breaks and caffeine kicks. When the workday winds down, you might catch me devouring bamboo snacks while binging on the latest TV show, gaming or I could be out in nature, soaking up the tranquility and communing with my inner panda.
this is an active epidemic among young men and even minors. I cannot tell you the amount of disgusting things that have been said to me, often because I've said something like 'hey lets not say slurs' or 'maybe you could respect their right to exist', here are some examples "I bet the girl who got r***d deserved it" "Im white, straight, and male, so I honestly don't care" "of course you'd defend them you're obviously sped"
My heart is with you. There are so many things wrong with society, the views of men toward women and how hate is allowed to fester and gather momentum. Without inner strengrh there is nothing. I have had my face in the mud with the foot on my throat and I can say one thing.
I. Will. Survive. No. Matter. What. And so will you Multa. Rise above. And breathe.
this is an active epidemic among young men and even minors. I cannot tell you the amount of disgusting things that have been said to me, often because I've said something like 'hey lets not say slurs' or 'maybe you could respect their right to exist', here are some examples "I bet the girl who got r***d deserved it" "Im white, straight, and male, so I honestly don't care" "of course you'd defend them you're obviously sped"
My heart is with you. There are so many things wrong with society, the views of men toward women and how hate is allowed to fester and gather momentum. Without inner strengrh there is nothing. I have had my face in the mud with the foot on my throat and I can say one thing.
I. Will. Survive. No. Matter. What. And so will you Multa. Rise above. And breathe.
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