“My Life Fell Apart Due To One Screenshot”: Person’s Story About How One Group Message Cost Them Their Best Friend And Job
Interview With Author
Even when you have the best intentions, it seems like the universe is out to get you and make your life hell for no apparent reason. You want to help someone struggling or solve a difficult situation, and the smallest action turns into a game of dominoes. The dominoes topple until something gets ruined irreversibly, and it feels like it’s all your fault.
Reddit user u/OutrageousPrice9800 details a similar situation where everything came tumbling down because of one small mistake that was made with good intentions in mind. They lost their job, their best friend, and, potentially, their home.
More info: Reddit
Navigating workplace relationships is difficult enough, especially when your best friend is the CEO
Image credits: Helsinki Hacklab Lab Camera (not the actual photo)
The Reddit user starts the story by saying that their best friend, boss, and CEO of the company they were working in took two months off for a mental health crisis
Image credits: OutrageousPrice9800
Image credits: Joel Bez (not the actual photo)
OP was working in a small nonprofit advocacy group of five people. One of their coworkers was their best friend and also the CEO of the company. She decided to take a break because of a mental health crisis, with no end in sight. For two months, OP picked up the slack for her, working through a mental crisis of their own as she was being stalked online. The CEO would flake on plans at the very last minute, “even though she knows I’m autistic, and that stuff sends me into a meltdown.”
The company began going under without its CEO, with the Vice President and CFO wanting to resign. OP wanted for the CEO to come into work for one day to sign over her CEO powers to them and another coworker, so they could get the company back on its feet. So they arranged a meeting with the CEO.
This meeting was one of the biggest breaking moments of the story. Having come in, the CEO started by saying that she was in a severe mental health crisis. The crisis was supposed to be private, and she had begged OP not to tell anyone, as OP is a mandated reporter. OP was then blamed for bullying her into returning to work before she was ready. She further said that no one had reached out to her.
During those two months, OP covered for their CEO best friend, all while dealing with own their problems and trying to help her
Image credits: OutrageousPrice9800
The CEO refused their help, flaked on any and all plans they had, and things at the company started falling apart
Image credits: OutrageousPrice9800
Image credits: Porapak Apichodilok (not the actual photo)
OP mentioned that they were particularly hurt because of these remarks, as they had reached out frequently by calling and texting but would always be given the cold shoulder by the CEO. Later in the evening, they received a text from the CEO about how they had supposedly done nothing to help her during her mental health crisis. They say that the text was “vile” and that they were pretty scared by this point. Without realizing what they were doing, the OP took a screenshot of the messages and posted them to a work group, which included the CEO’s boyfriend.
She soon found out about this and started texting OP again, telling them how horrible they are and that she didn’t want to have anything to do with them ever again.
After this, the CEO called the President of the Board of Directors and told them that her team had failed her in her mental health crisis and violated HIPAA. OP hadn’t violated HIPAA, which is an act that exists to prevent the disclosure of sensitive health information. Even so, the company was dissolved after this came to light.
OP says, multiple times, how much they regret failing their friend in a mental health crisis, and that they should never have sent the screenshot. They also mention that they simply didn’t know what they were doing wrong and what they could do further, emphasizing that they are autistic.
For this article, Bored Panda reached out to the story’s author to get further input from them about the situation. When asked whether they have come into contact after the events told in their post, OP said that their friend has not contacted them since and that they’ve blocked each other on every form of contact. OP has also blocked the friend’s boyfriend.
OP further emphasized how guilty they feel after it all, saying that “I feel as though I failed her,” but further mentions that they know that they did everything they could.
When asked for advice for people in similar situations, OP said: “Don’t mix business and friendship. Let business be business, and friendship be friendship. Oh, and, also, things can always get worse.” Perhaps OP’s story will inspire people to be more cautious at work, leaving everything related to work behind right after the closing hour.
The rest of OP’s team tried reaching out to the CEO, too, with no luck, and they continued to cover for her at work
Image credits: OutrageousPrice9800
People started resigning from the company, so OP tried calling their friend for her to come in and sign over her CEO powers to OP and another coworker
Image credits: OutrageousPrice9800
Image credits: Pixabay (not the actual photo)
According to an article by Business News Daily, having friends at the workplace can boost worker morale and improve productivity, all the while lowering workplace stress and making day-to-day work more pleasant. Nevertheless, although the benefits of workplace relationships are many, one should still keep in mind that if an office friendship goes sour, it may have the opposite effect of decreasing productivity, creating tension which may even rub off on coworkers unrelated to the friendship.
Having friends in the workplace can have a significant effect on employees, says a survey by JobSage. The survey wanted to explore workplace dynamics, so they surveyed more than 1200 Americans with experience in different industries. Their findings show that 95% of them said that having a friend at work makes them happier, with 76% indicating that work friends make them more creative and 74% saying that having friends helps increase their productivity. Furthermore, 92% of these respondents said that friendships at work impact their willingness to stay at a company.
When the CEO came in, she said that OP was a bully and broke her trust by telling others about her mental health crisis and that no one had reached out to her when in reality, many people had
Image credits: OutrageousPrice9800
After their meeting, the CEO texted OP about how they had done nothing to help her in her mental health crisis, and OP screenshotted it in a moment of panic
Image credits: OutrageousPrice9800
Image credits: Pixabay (not the actual photo)
It’s still important to monitor these relationships, finding a fine balance between professionalism and friendship. Once again, Business News Daily has some advice for people who want to do just that. You should make sure that you don’t overshare information about yourself with your coworkers – even your friends. There is a lot of gossip in the office, and you wouldn’t want sensitive personal information to make the rounds around the office.
It’s also very important to set boundaries in the office, as a friendship with someone may net you accusations of bias and unprofessionalism. Close relationships may also inspire gossip from others around the office, so it’s important to set boundaries and expectations which are professional and consistent.
You should also consider that the workplace friendship dynamic is very different from others. For example, your work friend probably won’t be someone you can tell all your secrets and entrust your life to. Enjoy the relationships that you have without letting them get out of hand. This friendship dynamic may also turn into a rivalry, so be sure that the competition is healthy rather than toxic.
Finally, you should also be wary of trash-talking your management. Complaining about the boss isn’t something unusual, as long as you keep it respectful, as it may come back to bite you far harder than you expect.
OP had sent the screenshot to a work group with the CEO’s boyfriend, who promptly found out about it and started calling them horrible and cutting OP out of her life
Image credits: OutrageousPrice9800
This incident caused the President of the Board of Directors to dissolve the company as they had failed the CEO, making OP lose both their best friend and their job
Image credits: OutrageousPrice9800
OP says they feel very guilty and accept full responsibility for their actions, being lost and directionless on what to do next
Image credits: OutrageousPrice9800
In the comments, OP said that they will attempt to rebuild their life but will hold themself accountable even if the comments say that they’re not at fault
OP’s post received more than 4 thousand likes and almost 700 hundred comments, with lots of commenters saying that OP was not at fault for any of the happenings at the office besides sending the screenshot. They place the blame on the CEO best friend, as she used OP as a scapegoat, gaslit them, and was overall incompetent for her behavior detailed throughout the story. What are your thoughts about this story? Have you had similar work experiences that suddenly came crashing down? Please share them in the comments!
Image credits: Andrew Neel (not the actual photo)
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If CEO and president weren't in contact, that company was going to be dissolved anyway. Nor was it wrong at this point to get someone else involved. They did reach out and try to support their friend, but their efforts were taken advantage of, lied about, and shat on. Probably could have been handled better, but that was no friend.
I'm a former healthcare professional, but not in any way a doctor. Having said that, Schizophrenia runs in my family, I've seen it at previous jobs, and that's kinda what this sounds like. That OP was treated so horribly isn't an excuse and my heart truly breaks for them. The "friend" should not only have sought SERIOUS help (if what "friend" reported to OP was true), they shouldn't have been dumping it on OP, nor manipulate them into NOT reporting what was going on. OP was taken advantage of in so many ways the list is too long to write. 😔
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It sounds like she was hoping the whole company was going to go belly up, if I'm honest. She made no attempts to try to get someone else into leadership to keep the place going, threw OP under the bus for doing their job, and blew up when OP pointed out how she was acting. That's incredibly unprofessional on the so-called CEO's part.
This story makes me so mad. The CEO is an abusive jerk and a liar. l just hope OP gets some therapy so she will realize she is NOT at fault here. CEO is using her as a scapegoat so she can blame OP rather than taking accountability for her own actions! Oh and co workers are not responsible for your mental health. Its the responsibiliry of family, partners and your doctor.
This! I have had mental health issues for 30 years. Although I'll admit to hiding myself away in a crisis, I let work know what's happening and I do not sh1t all over friends like this person did! I hate when people use MH as an excuse for awful behaviour. This person in turn has adversely affected the MH of the OP and that's just toxic. They're better off without so called friend
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I agree that a screenshot does not ruin a company, life, jobs... There were so many red flags, and obviously mental health is a priority, but a company needs a CEO, and just the fact that you guys were left without direction, timelines, is already setting up the rest of the story for failure. Don't blame yourself so much, your CEO is humane, but you are too, and that was completely disregarded. It's specially hurtful after the efforts you've done throughout to be supportive, to protect her from the colleagues and any blame, and to keep up with the work and covering for her. Maybe she's not in a position to perceive it, but your limits were also physically and emotionally reached too, and that she did not show any sign of care throughout. Being a CEO comes with responsibility, the candidate needs to be up for it, that's simply how business works, especially on such a small team. Good luck, i hope you get your friend back, but i genuinely believe you're not to blame at all.
As a person with Borderline Personality Disorder, that sounds like a split. When a person with BPD is in that sort of crisis, honestly you can be as supportive as you can be and they will not see it until the crisis has been resolved. I'm sorry all that happened to you.
I'm sorry, did I just read a story about actual adults in a work place, or some childish drama in middle school? It doesn't sound like any of these people are fit to lead a company and the board made the right decision in dissolving the organization. ESH - op tried to help, but next time I think all of you need to take a few lessons and separate professional relationships from personal relationships.
Sorry I disagree! How does OP suck as well as everyone else?? For reaching their limit in how much they could handle?? No they made a bad judgment call out of emotion by sending that screen shot to the company president or whomever. That does not mean they were being childish tho. They did everything humanly possible to try to keep it together with hardly any help. So pls do not include them in this esh judgment.
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Just because you may be having a mental health crisis, don’t mean you give your whole company a mental health crisis.
The screenshot was bad, but everything else is on the CEO. She left without leaving anyone in charge. She rebuffed everyone who attempted to reach out repeatedly to help her. Then twisted everything around and said no one tried to help her. The only mistake OP made other than the screenshot was not getting her resume out there to look for a new job sooner.
I find it strange that exposure is wrong. She was embarrassed of her behavior and chose to vilify. She exposed in the meeting her health crisis which she used as an excuse. Imagine your kid is in need of the hospital and you go on and on about your health crisis. She used it as an excuse it seems to me. And you thinking you were protecting her is a common mistake. You let it fester. People will lie to kids thinking they are protecting then only for the kid to grow up not trusting you because you lied. I don't lie to my kids.
When father-in-law was abusive we told the 3yr old he was not nice and won't say sorry. We are waiting for his sorry. My 9ur old asked his grandma "when will you say sorry?" She then told him he was abusing her by asking that. Classic vilification in order to sear her conscience. Verbal abuse. He was saying he want unity, that she is capable of humility,... Beware the devil inside them
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No! This was not your fault. The only fault you have is not saying something right away and blaming yourself. First of all if I read this correctly and this was run like a real company not like a Fisher Price play company that this is your boss should have taken FMLA leave. If you have a mental breakdown or have kids what the f**k you can't just say I'm not working and expect to get paid. In most places in the world if you don't do your job you don't have a job anymore. You covering for her was your mistake. That's why work and friends don't mix someone will get burned. So your lesson you learned is don't be friends with your boss will bite you in the a*s and cover your own a*s. You should have let the real corporate know what she did right away no it's not telling on your boss she broke rules therefore she has to accountable for her actions. Grow the f up. She is like a 5 year old. Mental health is a real thing but how she handled it she acted like an entitled brat. B please.
The second you notice you can't keep the place running without the CEO is the moment you need to inform the people that can appoint a new CEO. No need to tell them why the CEO isn't coming in, that's for them to figure out, but something needs to be done about the situation at hand. I don't blame OP, they meant well, but the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Now five people are out of a job.
The OP didn't screw up at all, if anything that screenshot was proof that they'd been trying to help their BF the entire time and could be used to get the BF the professional help they need. The OP tried to help even to the detriment of their own mental health, that's a real friend. If the BF doesn't understand that someday, the heck with her.
The company failing isn't your fault by any means. It wasn't anyone's responsibility at work to help her in her mental health. That's all on her. She's an adult and in charge of an entire company. You didn't everything you could to help keep it afloat. She's just looking for a scapegoat and because of the screenshot you sent you became the perfect target. I'm sorry but if she truly is/was YOUR best friend she would have never treated you so poorly. Mental health crisis or not.
Wow. This poor person taking on all this guilt and responsibility for a s**t show that was going to end this way whether or not that screen shot went out. It sounds like there's nothing they could have done differently that would have changed that outcome, and I'm sorry about their friend's mental health crisis, but that doesn't make it okay to unfairly heap all the blame for what happened on the poster
I'm on the autism spectrum as well, and I get where the OP is coming from. They feel guilty for outing their friends behavior, but vile isn't a word to be used lightly. This "friend" must have said some awful stuff, and it sounds like the screenshot was posted after being basically abandoned and then crapped on for 2 months. The CEO tanked her own company by not delegating someone to do her job while she was going to be away. And even then, it doesn't sound like she actually checked herself into a care facility, she just went into reclusive-not-gonna-shower-for-3-weeks mode. OP didn't do anything wrong. This person wasn't a good friend. This many changes is going to be very grating on OP's own mental health, but the only thing to do is pick up the pieces and try again elsewhere.
Nta you did everything you could try to do even more. The company was dissolving because of her actions and decisions, even in a mental health crisis -- you were only offering to take the weight off of her shoulders. At some level, she had already decided that she was giving up, and that the company was going with her
I really truly hope this person sees all of their support bc what happened is awful! They were the victim in all of this! Imagine not knowing whether your company is going to survive or how you're going to survive for months on end! She's moving through the world with autism too, which means she has to put extra work into understanding things like nuance. It's just crazy that no one could reach the CEO. This person went above & beyond. She sent the screenshot out of sheer desperation. It was the only thing close to a status update for the other employees in my mind. I think this person would be an asset to any company, it sounds like she really cares. As for the CEO, I'm sorry you have mental illness but you still need to act like an adult. I deal with near constant panic attacks out here, major depression, a family life that would leave you in tears too. I bet most people who read this have had serious issues too. Your actions affect others. I know this isn't this but-NTAH 😉😁
If you keep blaming yourself then you've not learnt from this situation and you will continue to make friends who will use you in order to gain sympathy for their misgivings.
I have mental health issues, and the doc thinks I maybe on the spectrum. I also work in a pharmaceutical environment. Coming from that background, the CEO could handled that better. The screenshot gave away no personal health info, then it didn't break HIPPA, that would prove your actions not to be the reason for the dissolve. There should have been an acting CEO in her absence, which should have been decided upon before the CEO took that break. The CEO mistreated and took advantage of a friend. Honestly the friend, bf and whomever else personally connected probably shouldn't be working together either, so business/personal lines are not blurred
There's no way this was in the US cause she'd have been fired after like 3 days since we don't take mental health issues seriously... hence why we have mass shootings everyday & 98% of our government should either be in a retirement home or a mental health facility.... yeah she was wrong to send the screenshot... but also... the CEO was being a vile person & sending inappropriate & disrespectful texts. The fact that the CEO literally took down an entire company & a handful of peoples jobs & potentially their homes all because she failed to do her job by assigning someone to take over for her is the worst thing anyone did in this story. Was a selfish a*****e. Imagine expecting an entire company that you're in charge of to just wait for you to get your s**t together when you didn't even do the smallest bit of work you were supposed to by finding a stand in.. then turning into a child when your words were shared w/ everyone else. Maybe don't be a s****y person?
Sounds more like a group of jr high kids playing in a pretend company. Wtf is an advocacy company? Sounds more like the blind leading the blind.
This story is ridiculous and the OP's sense of guilt is misplaced and foolish. If this person was self aware enough to recognize that they were having a "crisis" then they should have sought professional help and passed on their professional responsibilities when it became obvious they would be stepping away. Instead they pushed their responsibilities onto their "friend" and coworker and emotionally manipulated and guilted them into hiding this important information. When they were forced to abdicate they decided to dump all responsibility onto the OP and then attack them privately. I'd expose it too if only to help clear my name! Screw this person. They're no friend and were probably aiming for an outcome like this from the beginning.
Okay no! The OP is not being ridiculous by reaching out by telling their story. Pls don't shame them for reaching out after all they had been through.
Load More Replies... I am actually getting sick of people misusing HIPPA. The laws only apply to people who agree to them (a HIPPA agreement contract), and even then it only applies to information you've learned as a result of your job. Like when I worked hospital security. It wouldn't apply to information about your friend that you learned from your friend directly, nor would it apply to sharing how vile your "friend" treated you with their coworkers. Lastly, and not relevant to this, but relevant to the current COVID - HIPPA does *NOT* bar people from asking. I can ask anyone anything, and they can choose to answer or not. But HIPPA doesn't ban anyone from asking about your medical history. It bans medical staff from sharing it.
Its not just medical staff who are under it. A boss or hr could know your medical problems, but they are still under hippa to not reveal it.
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I'm surprised there was no proceeduralized line of succession. Usually it's the vice president that would step in as temporary CEO, unless the CEO had locked accounts or documents only she could access and she never passed that info on. Still, I think the screenshots from OP are the least of the crimes here. I'm not sure what exactly the CEO had, but the way she scapegoated her supposed friend is pretty unforgivable. Yes the screenshots were wrong, but the fall of the company is on the CEO's shoulders. I hope OP one day realizes all of this isn't her fault.
Your life didn't fall apart because of that screenshot. Your life fell apart because your financial and professional life was completely tied up with your friend who refused to get help when she needed it.
This person is really bad at letting personal details slip. The CEO begged her not to tell anyone because the OP was a mandated reporter. Mandated reporters only have to report something when it pertains to the abuse of a child.
Mandated reporters also have to report if someone is planning to harm themselves or others. But from what I just read, the CEO did not ever say she was suicidal. Even being a mandated reporter, the OP would not have been obligated to report anything.
Load More Replies... It sounds to me that the woman with a mental health crisis was trying to give her whole company a mental health crisis. And succeeded.
Whatever your mental health it’s still possible to do limited damage control with a few phone calls. That the CEO couldn’t even be arsed to do this shows how completely unsuitable for the role she was in the first place. You can be ill, you can be sad, but you don’t have to be a asshat.
Sorry... But no the OP was not the bad guy at all. Mental health issues are very real, and maybe it was a crisis. But it only became one BECAUSE the CEO acted the way she did. It was incredibly childish and unprofessional. And gives a bad name to everyone actually struggling. Then she full on gaslit and lied about her "friend" who feels awful now. But should be glad she got away from somone so toxic and childish as that. I do hope it worked out.. another joke of a CEO ruining lives, through a position they shouldnt be in.
The CEO gaslighted the OP. Selfish, arrogant and an arsehole. I'm sick of people using mental illness as an "out". Deal with it or GTFO. OP was the not the arsehole and was the victim in this regard.
what type of mickey-mouse company is this? CEO and President goes missing ?
"I'm a mandated reporter." Yeah, no. That's not what that means. The only thing anybody is mandated to report is suspected child abuse.
I wish the OP could read this. This is not your fault. You did more then what could be expected as an employee. And you did as much as can be expected of a friend. As someone who is autistic with my own mental health problems, I do understand the need for self care, but what your friend did was not the way to do it. 2 months with no end in sight is too much time to take off, without setting something up for their extended absence. And pushing people away is not the way to help yourself get through a mental health crisis. What your friend did was terrible and nothing that you did, including sharing that screen shot was the wrong thing to do. I would be forever grateful to have a friend like you who cares so deeply.
Elizabeth Holmes, Marissa Mayer, Caroline Ellison, Ankiti Bose. All female CEOs just like the OP's company, in a male dominated world eh? I'm spitting facts, because I also know successful CEOs like Barra exist. However, given the lower proportion of female CEOs, the failure rate so far is quite high. May I suggest it's because precisely what made them a good leader (empathy) made for a lousy CEO (who should be led by data). Go ahead, call me sexist. Or maybe, just maybe, concede that males and females have different strengths and let's discuss how to optimise them. E.g. advocacy at HR level, welfare, group think / dynamics
Unless this was a group of friends running an Etsy store or something like that, I have a hard time believing this story. A CEO would submit a leave of absence to the board members (doesn't have to disclose why) and appoint a temporary stand in. This person would usually have to be voted on. Also, the CFO can apply for grants or appoint a grant writer. This doesn't seem real to me
I earn oh wait wrong post for that. BP needs to stop getting articles from reddit or at least read them so they seem somewhat realistic. President of the board didn't contact anyone for a while all of a sudden they are disappointed in the team and dissolving the company. Oh and they are gonna give the reporter the CEO position not offer it to the CFO or VP before they leave nope just straight to the reporter. And if its true they didn't violate any HIPPA rules. They are dissolving the company out of the presidents disappointment. Not to mention the person who put this also seems to want pity for their mental health crisis and their autism. Nothing wrong with getting help for either of those but when you mention it in a post where it's irrelevant then it's just someone wanting pity. So overall BP is the A hole.
Or the fact they "replied" to the friend. A lot of this story doesn't make sense. It's like a HS club and something happened between friends. Like how some people skew stories for validation. I mean, who knows. Tbh it sounds like this person was upset(rightfully) posted an SS, wanting to vilify their friend(it backfired) ,using corporate "terms" to rectify their position, and posted for validation. That and quite a few things being left out. Doesn't necessarily mean OP is wrong, just seems more HS drama than, than adult business.
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Follow this chain of feelings down the rabbit hole that 8t is, and you will realize that is a grand chain of nothingness all the way downnnnnn.
Who said anything about politics? There is not a single word in this post that has to do with that. You're making a huge assumption that anyone in this story is a liberal... and you know what happens when you assume, right?
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Channo, it doesn't sound like you have ever suffered with a mental health problem and if that is the case, you are very lucky and you should pray that you never suffer with one. I can't speak for everyone that has one, but I don't sit around eating ice cream wasting the months away eating bon bons. I have been diagnosed with PTSD, major, recurrent depression, severe anxiety disorder, and agoraphobia. I wasn't always this way, actually I was a productive member of society. I was married to the love of my life and I was working in a career that I loved while raising my 3 children. Then one day my beloved husband was murdered horrifically in front of me and my children. I will spare you the details but it was the worst thing I have ever been through. I wish I could sit around eating ice cream but I don't work that way. You shouldn't comment on something that you don't know anything about. I hope you never have to experience what some of us have to live with every day!
Load More Replies... If CEO and president weren't in contact, that company was going to be dissolved anyway. Nor was it wrong at this point to get someone else involved. They did reach out and try to support their friend, but their efforts were taken advantage of, lied about, and shat on. Probably could have been handled better, but that was no friend.
I'm a former healthcare professional, but not in any way a doctor. Having said that, Schizophrenia runs in my family, I've seen it at previous jobs, and that's kinda what this sounds like. That OP was treated so horribly isn't an excuse and my heart truly breaks for them. The "friend" should not only have sought SERIOUS help (if what "friend" reported to OP was true), they shouldn't have been dumping it on OP, nor manipulate them into NOT reporting what was going on. OP was taken advantage of in so many ways the list is too long to write. 😔
Load More Replies... It sounds like she was hoping the whole company was going to go belly up, if I'm honest. She made no attempts to try to get someone else into leadership to keep the place going, threw OP under the bus for doing their job, and blew up when OP pointed out how she was acting. That's incredibly unprofessional on the so-called CEO's part.
This story makes me so mad. The CEO is an abusive jerk and a liar. l just hope OP gets some therapy so she will realize she is NOT at fault here. CEO is using her as a scapegoat so she can blame OP rather than taking accountability for her own actions! Oh and co workers are not responsible for your mental health. Its the responsibiliry of family, partners and your doctor.
This! I have had mental health issues for 30 years. Although I'll admit to hiding myself away in a crisis, I let work know what's happening and I do not sh1t all over friends like this person did! I hate when people use MH as an excuse for awful behaviour. This person in turn has adversely affected the MH of the OP and that's just toxic. They're better off without so called friend
Load More Replies... I agree that a screenshot does not ruin a company, life, jobs... There were so many red flags, and obviously mental health is a priority, but a company needs a CEO, and just the fact that you guys were left without direction, timelines, is already setting up the rest of the story for failure. Don't blame yourself so much, your CEO is humane, but you are too, and that was completely disregarded. It's specially hurtful after the efforts you've done throughout to be supportive, to protect her from the colleagues and any blame, and to keep up with the work and covering for her. Maybe she's not in a position to perceive it, but your limits were also physically and emotionally reached too, and that she did not show any sign of care throughout. Being a CEO comes with responsibility, the candidate needs to be up for it, that's simply how business works, especially on such a small team. Good luck, i hope you get your friend back, but i genuinely believe you're not to blame at all.
As a person with Borderline Personality Disorder, that sounds like a split. When a person with BPD is in that sort of crisis, honestly you can be as supportive as you can be and they will not see it until the crisis has been resolved. I'm sorry all that happened to you.
I'm sorry, did I just read a story about actual adults in a work place, or some childish drama in middle school? It doesn't sound like any of these people are fit to lead a company and the board made the right decision in dissolving the organization. ESH - op tried to help, but next time I think all of you need to take a few lessons and separate professional relationships from personal relationships.
Sorry I disagree! How does OP suck as well as everyone else?? For reaching their limit in how much they could handle?? No they made a bad judgment call out of emotion by sending that screen shot to the company president or whomever. That does not mean they were being childish tho. They did everything humanly possible to try to keep it together with hardly any help. So pls do not include them in this esh judgment.
Load More Replies... Just because you may be having a mental health crisis, don’t mean you give your whole company a mental health crisis.
The screenshot was bad, but everything else is on the CEO. She left without leaving anyone in charge. She rebuffed everyone who attempted to reach out repeatedly to help her. Then twisted everything around and said no one tried to help her. The only mistake OP made other than the screenshot was not getting her resume out there to look for a new job sooner.
I find it strange that exposure is wrong. She was embarrassed of her behavior and chose to vilify. She exposed in the meeting her health crisis which she used as an excuse. Imagine your kid is in need of the hospital and you go on and on about your health crisis. She used it as an excuse it seems to me. And you thinking you were protecting her is a common mistake. You let it fester. People will lie to kids thinking they are protecting then only for the kid to grow up not trusting you because you lied. I don't lie to my kids.
When father-in-law was abusive we told the 3yr old he was not nice and won't say sorry. We are waiting for his sorry. My 9ur old asked his grandma "when will you say sorry?" She then told him he was abusing her by asking that. Classic vilification in order to sear her conscience. Verbal abuse. He was saying he want unity, that she is capable of humility,... Beware the devil inside them
Load More Replies... No! This was not your fault. The only fault you have is not saying something right away and blaming yourself. First of all if I read this correctly and this was run like a real company not like a Fisher Price play company that this is your boss should have taken FMLA leave. If you have a mental breakdown or have kids what the f**k you can't just say I'm not working and expect to get paid. In most places in the world if you don't do your job you don't have a job anymore. You covering for her was your mistake. That's why work and friends don't mix someone will get burned. So your lesson you learned is don't be friends with your boss will bite you in the a*s and cover your own a*s. You should have let the real corporate know what she did right away no it's not telling on your boss she broke rules therefore she has to accountable for her actions. Grow the f up. She is like a 5 year old. Mental health is a real thing but how she handled it she acted like an entitled brat. B please.
The second you notice you can't keep the place running without the CEO is the moment you need to inform the people that can appoint a new CEO. No need to tell them why the CEO isn't coming in, that's for them to figure out, but something needs to be done about the situation at hand. I don't blame OP, they meant well, but the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Now five people are out of a job.
The OP didn't screw up at all, if anything that screenshot was proof that they'd been trying to help their BF the entire time and could be used to get the BF the professional help they need. The OP tried to help even to the detriment of their own mental health, that's a real friend. If the BF doesn't understand that someday, the heck with her.
The company failing isn't your fault by any means. It wasn't anyone's responsibility at work to help her in her mental health. That's all on her. She's an adult and in charge of an entire company. You didn't everything you could to help keep it afloat. She's just looking for a scapegoat and because of the screenshot you sent you became the perfect target. I'm sorry but if she truly is/was YOUR best friend she would have never treated you so poorly. Mental health crisis or not.
Wow. This poor person taking on all this guilt and responsibility for a s**t show that was going to end this way whether or not that screen shot went out. It sounds like there's nothing they could have done differently that would have changed that outcome, and I'm sorry about their friend's mental health crisis, but that doesn't make it okay to unfairly heap all the blame for what happened on the poster
I'm on the autism spectrum as well, and I get where the OP is coming from. They feel guilty for outing their friends behavior, but vile isn't a word to be used lightly. This "friend" must have said some awful stuff, and it sounds like the screenshot was posted after being basically abandoned and then crapped on for 2 months. The CEO tanked her own company by not delegating someone to do her job while she was going to be away. And even then, it doesn't sound like she actually checked herself into a care facility, she just went into reclusive-not-gonna-shower-for-3-weeks mode. OP didn't do anything wrong. This person wasn't a good friend. This many changes is going to be very grating on OP's own mental health, but the only thing to do is pick up the pieces and try again elsewhere.
Nta you did everything you could try to do even more. The company was dissolving because of her actions and decisions, even in a mental health crisis -- you were only offering to take the weight off of her shoulders. At some level, she had already decided that she was giving up, and that the company was going with her
I really truly hope this person sees all of their support bc what happened is awful! They were the victim in all of this! Imagine not knowing whether your company is going to survive or how you're going to survive for months on end! She's moving through the world with autism too, which means she has to put extra work into understanding things like nuance. It's just crazy that no one could reach the CEO. This person went above & beyond. She sent the screenshot out of sheer desperation. It was the only thing close to a status update for the other employees in my mind. I think this person would be an asset to any company, it sounds like she really cares. As for the CEO, I'm sorry you have mental illness but you still need to act like an adult. I deal with near constant panic attacks out here, major depression, a family life that would leave you in tears too. I bet most people who read this have had serious issues too. Your actions affect others. I know this isn't this but-NTAH 😉😁
If you keep blaming yourself then you've not learnt from this situation and you will continue to make friends who will use you in order to gain sympathy for their misgivings.
I have mental health issues, and the doc thinks I maybe on the spectrum. I also work in a pharmaceutical environment. Coming from that background, the CEO could handled that better. The screenshot gave away no personal health info, then it didn't break HIPPA, that would prove your actions not to be the reason for the dissolve. There should have been an acting CEO in her absence, which should have been decided upon before the CEO took that break. The CEO mistreated and took advantage of a friend. Honestly the friend, bf and whomever else personally connected probably shouldn't be working together either, so business/personal lines are not blurred
There's no way this was in the US cause she'd have been fired after like 3 days since we don't take mental health issues seriously... hence why we have mass shootings everyday & 98% of our government should either be in a retirement home or a mental health facility.... yeah she was wrong to send the screenshot... but also... the CEO was being a vile person & sending inappropriate & disrespectful texts. The fact that the CEO literally took down an entire company & a handful of peoples jobs & potentially their homes all because she failed to do her job by assigning someone to take over for her is the worst thing anyone did in this story. Was a selfish a*****e. Imagine expecting an entire company that you're in charge of to just wait for you to get your s**t together when you didn't even do the smallest bit of work you were supposed to by finding a stand in.. then turning into a child when your words were shared w/ everyone else. Maybe don't be a s****y person?
Sounds more like a group of jr high kids playing in a pretend company. Wtf is an advocacy company? Sounds more like the blind leading the blind.
This story is ridiculous and the OP's sense of guilt is misplaced and foolish. If this person was self aware enough to recognize that they were having a "crisis" then they should have sought professional help and passed on their professional responsibilities when it became obvious they would be stepping away. Instead they pushed their responsibilities onto their "friend" and coworker and emotionally manipulated and guilted them into hiding this important information. When they were forced to abdicate they decided to dump all responsibility onto the OP and then attack them privately. I'd expose it too if only to help clear my name! Screw this person. They're no friend and were probably aiming for an outcome like this from the beginning.
Okay no! The OP is not being ridiculous by reaching out by telling their story. Pls don't shame them for reaching out after all they had been through.
Load More Replies... I am actually getting sick of people misusing HIPPA. The laws only apply to people who agree to them (a HIPPA agreement contract), and even then it only applies to information you've learned as a result of your job. Like when I worked hospital security. It wouldn't apply to information about your friend that you learned from your friend directly, nor would it apply to sharing how vile your "friend" treated you with their coworkers. Lastly, and not relevant to this, but relevant to the current COVID - HIPPA does *NOT* bar people from asking. I can ask anyone anything, and they can choose to answer or not. But HIPPA doesn't ban anyone from asking about your medical history. It bans medical staff from sharing it.
Its not just medical staff who are under it. A boss or hr could know your medical problems, but they are still under hippa to not reveal it.
Load More Replies... I'm surprised there was no proceeduralized line of succession. Usually it's the vice president that would step in as temporary CEO, unless the CEO had locked accounts or documents only she could access and she never passed that info on. Still, I think the screenshots from OP are the least of the crimes here. I'm not sure what exactly the CEO had, but the way she scapegoated her supposed friend is pretty unforgivable. Yes the screenshots were wrong, but the fall of the company is on the CEO's shoulders. I hope OP one day realizes all of this isn't her fault.
Your life didn't fall apart because of that screenshot. Your life fell apart because your financial and professional life was completely tied up with your friend who refused to get help when she needed it.
This person is really bad at letting personal details slip. The CEO begged her not to tell anyone because the OP was a mandated reporter. Mandated reporters only have to report something when it pertains to the abuse of a child.
Mandated reporters also have to report if someone is planning to harm themselves or others. But from what I just read, the CEO did not ever say she was suicidal. Even being a mandated reporter, the OP would not have been obligated to report anything.
Load More Replies... It sounds to me that the woman with a mental health crisis was trying to give her whole company a mental health crisis. And succeeded.
Whatever your mental health it’s still possible to do limited damage control with a few phone calls. That the CEO couldn’t even be arsed to do this shows how completely unsuitable for the role she was in the first place. You can be ill, you can be sad, but you don’t have to be a asshat.
Sorry... But no the OP was not the bad guy at all. Mental health issues are very real, and maybe it was a crisis. But it only became one BECAUSE the CEO acted the way she did. It was incredibly childish and unprofessional. And gives a bad name to everyone actually struggling. Then she full on gaslit and lied about her "friend" who feels awful now. But should be glad she got away from somone so toxic and childish as that. I do hope it worked out.. another joke of a CEO ruining lives, through a position they shouldnt be in.
The CEO gaslighted the OP. Selfish, arrogant and an arsehole. I'm sick of people using mental illness as an "out". Deal with it or GTFO. OP was the not the arsehole and was the victim in this regard.
what type of mickey-mouse company is this? CEO and President goes missing ?
"I'm a mandated reporter." Yeah, no. That's not what that means. The only thing anybody is mandated to report is suspected child abuse.
I wish the OP could read this. This is not your fault. You did more then what could be expected as an employee. And you did as much as can be expected of a friend. As someone who is autistic with my own mental health problems, I do understand the need for self care, but what your friend did was not the way to do it. 2 months with no end in sight is too much time to take off, without setting something up for their extended absence. And pushing people away is not the way to help yourself get through a mental health crisis. What your friend did was terrible and nothing that you did, including sharing that screen shot was the wrong thing to do. I would be forever grateful to have a friend like you who cares so deeply.
Elizabeth Holmes, Marissa Mayer, Caroline Ellison, Ankiti Bose. All female CEOs just like the OP's company, in a male dominated world eh? I'm spitting facts, because I also know successful CEOs like Barra exist. However, given the lower proportion of female CEOs, the failure rate so far is quite high. May I suggest it's because precisely what made them a good leader (empathy) made for a lousy CEO (who should be led by data). Go ahead, call me sexist. Or maybe, just maybe, concede that males and females have different strengths and let's discuss how to optimise them. E.g. advocacy at HR level, welfare, group think / dynamics
Unless this was a group of friends running an Etsy store or something like that, I have a hard time believing this story. A CEO would submit a leave of absence to the board members (doesn't have to disclose why) and appoint a temporary stand in. This person would usually have to be voted on. Also, the CFO can apply for grants or appoint a grant writer. This doesn't seem real to me
I earn oh wait wrong post for that. BP needs to stop getting articles from reddit or at least read them so they seem somewhat realistic. President of the board didn't contact anyone for a while all of a sudden they are disappointed in the team and dissolving the company. Oh and they are gonna give the reporter the CEO position not offer it to the CFO or VP before they leave nope just straight to the reporter. And if its true they didn't violate any HIPPA rules. They are dissolving the company out of the presidents disappointment. Not to mention the person who put this also seems to want pity for their mental health crisis and their autism. Nothing wrong with getting help for either of those but when you mention it in a post where it's irrelevant then it's just someone wanting pity. So overall BP is the A hole.
Or the fact they "replied" to the friend. A lot of this story doesn't make sense. It's like a HS club and something happened between friends. Like how some people skew stories for validation. I mean, who knows. Tbh it sounds like this person was upset(rightfully) posted an SS, wanting to vilify their friend(it backfired) ,using corporate "terms" to rectify their position, and posted for validation. That and quite a few things being left out. Doesn't necessarily mean OP is wrong, just seems more HS drama than, than adult business.
Load More Replies... Follow this chain of feelings down the rabbit hole that 8t is, and you will realize that is a grand chain of nothingness all the way downnnnnn.
Who said anything about politics? There is not a single word in this post that has to do with that. You're making a huge assumption that anyone in this story is a liberal... and you know what happens when you assume, right?
Load More Replies... Channo, it doesn't sound like you have ever suffered with a mental health problem and if that is the case, you are very lucky and you should pray that you never suffer with one. I can't speak for everyone that has one, but I don't sit around eating ice cream wasting the months away eating bon bons. I have been diagnosed with PTSD, major, recurrent depression, severe anxiety disorder, and agoraphobia. I wasn't always this way, actually I was a productive member of society. I was married to the love of my life and I was working in a career that I loved while raising my 3 children. Then one day my beloved husband was murdered horrifically in front of me and my children. I will spare you the details but it was the worst thing I have ever been through. I wish I could sit around eating ice cream but I don't work that way. You shouldn't comment on something that you don't know anything about. I hope you never have to experience what some of us have to live with every day!
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