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62 Obvious Lies People Collectively Agreed To Pretend Were True
Lying is a social lubricant. A little fiction here, a convenient untruth there, and suddenly the dinner party goes smoothly, and nobody has to have a conversation they were not ready for. We all do it, we all receive it, and most of the time we just agree to let it stand because the alternative is a level of honesty that nobody actually wants.
But the lies are so transparent and unconvincing that the ones that really demand some active participation from us all. The crown jewel of this category is the corporate "we are one big family here" speech, delivered by a manager who will lay off half the room before Christmas without losing a minute of sleep. No, Dereck, family doesn't make you clock out before using the bathroom.
Other honourable mentions include "your call is very important to us," "we are committed to your privacy," and "this won't hurt a bit." Reddit asked people which obvious lies they have cheerfully pretended to believe, and the thread shows us the human capacity for being polite, strategic self-deception.
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#1
During the financial crisis our company sent an email saying that due to the economy nobody was getting raises that year and then flowery talk about us all being in it together as ONE TEAM etc. etc. The end of the email invited us to the annual all hands meeting.
The first item on the agenda at the All Hands? Every single director was awarded bonuses for their efforts in cutting costs. Then they went on to the ONE TEAM presentation and we all had to pretend like they hadn't just awarded themselves with our raises.
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#2
"If you vote us back in ill send everyone $5000. Trust me.".
#3
That my aunt's 10 pound godson was two months premature.
I'm amazed at how many people who were supposedly virgins until married have big, healthy babies 7 months after the wedding.
Gerry Higgins 1 hour ago
Don't be rude! Everyone knows a new bride can do in 7 months what it takes other women 9 months to accomplish.
Pretending to believe something you know is false is not stupidity. Psychologists call it polite fiction, the mutual agreement between two or more people to accept a version of reality that keeps the interaction moving without anyone having to deal with the consequences of honesty.
Research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that people tell an average of one to two lies per day, but more importantly, that the lies we receive outnumber the ones we tell, because we are also absorbing everyone else's daily quota. The system only works because everyone is participating, which makes this feel like a collective infrastructure project.
#4
In school we watched a BBC documentary about the Italian farmers that harvest noodles from trees and dry them in the fields before boxing them up.
I was gobsmacked at how many people thought it was real. Teacher was showing what fake news and propaganda were in real time.
#5
I was at a pro wrestling show a few years ago with like 80 thousand people there. Everyone knows it's not real but we all pretended anyway. We all had a great time too.
Con O Cuinn 18 minutes ago
But you got some awesome stories from back when people still believed. Like Jake the snake Roberts getting being such a good heel that he got stabbed by a little old lady at a show.
#6
My cousin swore up and down for YEARS that she was allergic to chocolate. Like carried an epipen at family parties level of committed. We all nodded along at every birthday party while she "tragically" skipped cake. Then at her own wedding her mom gave a toast and mentioned the easter she ate an entire basket of eggs and candy at age six with zero issues. Whole room just went quiet and kept chewing. She's 31 now and still says it. At this point we're all just honoring the commitment.
StrangeOne 20 minutes ago (edited)
Sometimes severe allergies are developed later in life. I was never allergic to plums until recently. My daughter was okay eating melons, like honeydew and cantaloupe, until she ate a honeydew recently and her tongue and throat started swelling up. Not sure what it is that causes allergies to develop, but it is a thing.
The corporate family farce deserves its own mention because it is one of the most widely deployed and least convincing pieces of workplace fiction in existence. Research from MIT Sloan Management Review found that toxic company culture, which often hides behind warm language about teams and families, is the single strongest predictor of employee attrition, ten times more powerful than compensation.
The "we are family here" speech tends to arrive in companies where the actual conditions would not survive honest description, which is why the language has to work so hard. Real families do not have non-disclosure agreements, and they do not require two weeks' notice.
#7
We are like a family here, every single person in that meeting knew it was garbage but we all nodded anyway because that's the job.
#8
During a job interview in healthcare, was told we can use our sick days for mental health. Took the job, several months in I really needed that "mental health day", called in and was told they never said such thing and denied the day off. Should have just called in sick.
StrangeOne 11 minutes ago
We have mental day allowances at my job, too, but we're told we don't have to explain why we're calling in sick. Best not to. But if the manager thinks you're "just tired", there's no proof for you to give against their word. So they can punish you and even disapprove your time off. Basically fire you. I've also found it wiser to save my accrued sick time for when I absolutely need it. I could call in for a mental health day one week, then be bed ridden with a bad cold the next week and not have enough sick time.
#9
I once performed a wedding for a couple that was already married. The groom's family all knew, the bride's family was completely oblivious.
Gerry Higgins 1 hour ago
Lying about your marriage to your family strikes me as a bad start to a marriage.
The average American spends roughly 43 days of their life on hold, according to research by Velaro, a customer engagement company. This is proof that "your call is important to us" is a huge lie, and so is "we will be right with you."
The on-hold message was invented in 1962 by Alfred Levy, a factory owner who accidentally discovered that his phone line was picking up a nearby radio broadcast and that callers were staying on the line longer because of it. So the music is just a retention strategy, and the importance of your call was always secondary to keeping you from hanging up.
#10
When our new CEO announced, with a straight face, he'd finalized a Private Equity Deal and promised there wouldn't be any layoffs. Everyone clapped.
Not even two months later it began then went for 3 more rounds over the course of 14 months.
#11
Every sales forecast meeting I've ever been in.
I'm marketing.
Shannimal 36 minutes ago
Oh my gosh, YES! I have to explain for an hour and 1/2 what I'm doing to help increase sales and field out of nowhere questions from the executive team, while the actual sales people just say, "I'm down, but I'm not worried about it" with no follow up questions from anyone! FML!!
#12
My friend group from school we all believed that we’d stick together and our friendship would only get stronger in the years to come whenever someone said school friends drift apart most of the times we’d just deny it and say you clearly dont know us but now I can see we were maybe to naive or ignorant of how tough life can get where it becomes impossible to meet how we used to.
Beak Hookage 1 hour ago
🎶As we go on we remember all the times we had together. And as our lives change from whatever, we will still be friends forever!🎶
The "I'm five minutes away" lie is one that hits particularly hard for every Type-A person reading this. It is so universal, in fact, it has become its own cultural shorthand for "I'm still in my pajamas."
A study from the British Science Association found that people are broadly terrible at estimating their own travel time, consistently underestimating how long journeys will take by an average of 40%. This means some of the people saying they are five minutes away genuinely believe it, which makes the lie only a little more sympathetic.
#13
In Denmark we call them "status møder" or status meetings, I don't know what they're refferd to in the rest of the world. But it's when the upper brass gives the employees a run down on how the company have been doing for the last 6-12 monts.
Anyway, when ever it's going well it's always praise all around, good jobs, we appreciate your hard work, all that shite. Then they'll weave in "this will come back around to you" the wording can be different, often are, but the implication is always the same, you'll get more money, better equipment, and so on. Everyone always noods along, smiles, or acts slightly excited. But everyone knows it's nonsense, nothing is going to change, the workers won't benefit from it.
StrangeOne 6 minutes ago
I always zone out at those meetings. The numbers and the company growth and profits mean nothing to me. My wages don't change, either way. Not until my next review. We don't get short-staffed areas refilled. We don't get better equipment or better working conditions. Just a pizza lunch occasionally. Pizza that I typical buy for myself often enough. If I do well I get a little cheap Dollarama treat. .... wohoo....
#14
Steering away from the religious and political (because I’m tired) for this one.
My cousin shows up for every family event and tells us how she hasn’t smoked since 2019, while reeking of cigarette smoke, and how she quit drinking in 2021, while staggering and slurring her words. I mean, her family nickname is Drunk Janie, and nobody takes her calls after 8 pm because she’s *always* hammered.
But we all just smile politely and say, “That’s awesome!”.
#15
There's a girl at my work who lies all the time, it doesn't matter what your story is, she has something more exciting.
You've been to Tenerife
She's been to elevenerife
She has many obvious lies, but her go to is about how in a drunken state once her and a friend picked up a wild badger and took it to her hotel room and left it there after they left the following day!
We accept her lies because she has a bad life, and its seemingly the only time she feels like a person with something to contribute to the conversation.
Marketing has built an entire industry on the polite agreement not to look too closely. "Up to 50% off" means one item in the back. "Natural flavoring" is a legally defined term that covers a surprisingly wide range of things that do not grow in a field. "New and improved" is added to packaging so regularly that the Federal Trade Commission has guidelines on how long a product has to have changed before the claim becomes misleading.
None of this stops anyone from buying the product, because somewhere between reading the label and reaching the checkout, the decision to not investigate further has already been made.
#16
"The election was stolen.".
#17
That my godfather somehow became a nice man because he passed away. It was actually amusing to hear people skate around wording at the funeral. "He was very opinionated....".
StrangeOne 1 minute ago
I've noticed this when my grandpa passed away. I'm sure my swindling auntie and uncles are going to be "missed". It will be hard not to go on a tangent at my mom's funeral. But I guess it makes sense to just stick to the positive. No one wants to hear the drama at a funeral and not everyone knows the deceased in the same light.
#18
In our college senior final seminars we each had to give a presentation on a topic related to our degrees. Someone gave a presentation that they clearly didn't understand the papers they read. They were talking about forest/tree migrations which as a topic is real, they do move as climate changes etc. This dude went up there and was talking about the trees themselves physically moving to a new location by uprooting. We all just nodded along. We frequently brought up that presentation in the rest of my classes because of how *awful* it was. Worst part is there were 3-4 other presentations of roughly equal quality.
And if there has ever been an industry built on lies, it is the beauty industry. It runs on optimistic fiction that consumers buy into with full awareness and very little regret. "Clinically proven" on a skincare product means a study was conducted, not that the study was large, independent, or particularly rigorous. "Reduces the appearance of" is doing significant legal work in that sentence.
Anti-aging cream does not reverse aging, a fact that is understood by most people purchasing it and has had essentially no impact on the size of the global anti-aging market, which was valued at $67.2 billion in 2023. The lie is comfortable. The alternative is accepting that moisturizer is just moisturizer, and nobody is ready for that conversation.
#19
An old house mate of mine told us all during a house party, that during the last storm, the wind lifted his granny 2-3 feet off the ground until her husband grabbed her and pulled her back down. We live in the UK just FYI.
In my 1st year of secondary school (so ages 12-13) a class mate told everyone he was in a local night club during the weekend and found a weapon on the bathroom, which he used to whip someone who tried to dance with his GF.
Neither of these happened, and resulted in Undertaker style eye rolls.
#20
Some speaker at a church (not mine) explaining how the earth is a few thousand years old & 'dinosaurs definifely lived alongside humans'. Idk what was more painful him using forced false humor to 'prove' points, or everybody else seemingly going along with it.
The social "I'm fine" is perhaps the most universally deployed piece of obvious fiction in daily life, understood by both parties to mean anything from "I am functional" to "I am absolutely not fine but this is not the time or the person."
Research from the Mental Health Foundation found that 60% of people say they are fine when they are not, and that the habit is so ingrained that most people do it automatically before they have consciously decided to. The person asking "how are you?" is also frequently not prepared for an honest answer, which means the exchange is a mutual performance that both sides have agreed to without ever discussing the terms.
#22
When my SIL was getting married and the man she was getting married to said he was going to be a dentist. He hadn't even applied to college for an undergrad. No surprise: he never went to school for anything .
#24
Faith healers
They put on a show with actors or they use cold reading and hypnosis to manipulate individuals.
All of this for the tithes. Money from the poor and the sick.
The surprising thing about obvious lies is how necessary they turn out to be. Psychologists at the University of Massachusetts found that complete honesty in social interactions would make them significantly shorter, considerably more uncomfortable, and far less likely to be repeated.
The social lie, the corporate fiction, the "I'm nearly there" text, all of them are load-bearing elements of a functioning social world that would look quite different without them. This does not make them true. It just makes them useful, which is apparently enough for most of us to keep accepting them with a straight face and absolutely no follow-up questions.
Which one of these lies are you most guilty of? Tell the truth for once in the comments!
#25
Working hard would give you a future to not work anymore.
Lies.
Beak Hookage 56 minutes ago
Oh but now we have AI soon nobody will have to work any more! Sure, I buy that.
#26
When my brother in law claimed the wind blew his car into the car in front of him
Despite nobody else’s car moving
And despite the fact he had already totaled multiple cars in the past, everyone believed him anyway 🙃.
#27
One of my relatives is insanely jealous of her sisters (close in age) and she’s the one who ended up unattractive. But as someone in a similar spot with my own close cousins of close age, I can say her personality is the biggest turn off. She constantly says at family gatherings how she’s gonna lose the weight and be just as hot as the other two and have men clawing after her. We all tell her go get it, and hope she succeeds.
We all know she won’t do it. She gives up on everything that requires the teeniest bit of work. We both were on GLP-1s (former type 2 diabetic me) & I gave her every tip for getting it cheaper and how to make sure she keeps her supply as some places were short on it. Couldn’t even keep to that. I think she just likes complaining.
#28
We had a guy who was always claiming crazy stuff. One day he brought in cheese scones and someone asked if he added shredded cheese. He flipped out saying he would never give out the recipe and top chefs from all over the UK were always trying to steal it and how dare you ask him. Everyone nodded along and I thought maybe they were just being polite, but later they all talked about it and how good they were and how amazing it was.
#29
My sister one time showed up to a huge family dinner with bright red henna dyed hair. She was the center of attention and told everyone it was natural. Everyone believed her and swooned over it all night. Obnoxious.
#30
Girl I know had been married about 6 mos when she gave birth to a 7-8 lb baby. Cute kid. Grandma of the kid insisted the baby was born 3 mos premature and talked about how big the kid was for being so premature. No one said anything.
#31
Trickle Down Economics will make the citizens wealthier while allowing corporations to make more profits.
#32
Any roomful of fans listening to George R.R. Martin saying he's still working on The Winds of Winter.
Beak Hookage 52 minutes ago
Disgruntled former fan here. I don't even f*****g care how the story ends any more. *mutter mutter*
#33
Sis saying she's been studying at a library, reasoning out why she keeps going home late despite having a daughter to care for.
#35
The lie:
>Married man at church had a "come to jesus" moment in front of the church where his "demons of lust" were "cast out" and the church "forgave" him.
The truth:
>A ~40 year old adulterer who got caught with another ~20 year old woman and then pastor and deacons came together to save his reputation while also using the public spectacle to peer pressure his wife into "forgiving" him.
Got the whole true story from his daughter who was in my age group. The mom thankfully wised up and got a divorce but was cold-shouldered out of the church while the man remained and everyone pretended she was no longer "godly".
One of many incidents that showed me how crooked and evil "christianity" in the US is.
#36
My old boss invented a husband that didn’t exist.
Beak Hookage 57 minutes ago
My parents had a friend back in the day who was awfully keen to make sure everyone knew about how he'd had a wife. A few decades later after his passing they figured out he was probably in the closet, poor thing.
#37
Most times any executives say to a crowded room that they're going to consult with key stakeholders. Most of the time the decision has been made, this is just performance.
#38
"We don't need to adjust our business goals to the economy as a whole, we are in complete control of our performance to those goals regardless of economic factors.".
#39
My mother passed young, so it attracted a lot of people. Because when young people pass away it is tragic and people love themselves a good tragedy.
Anyway, the speech was about a woman I didn't knew. They made her appear so cheerful and full of life.
I looked around and thought "Okay, I see a lot of familiar faces but did ya'll actually knew her?"
Nothing about that woman was cheerful.
#40
All the times Elon Musk has said at an investor conference, etc. that (1) full self driving cars are a year away or (2) we’ll be on Mars in years.
Probably a few more that I’m forgetting but those are the clearest lies that people still pretend to believe.
#41
My first experience in a Mormon temple ritual involved staring dumbfounded as my parents and adult relatives acted as if the weirdest cultish behavior was nothing at all. .
Gerry Higgins 1 hour ago
Is this the ritual where they touch your privates? I've seen those p**n films. Very hot.
#42
That my dad didn't cheat, we all knew. So glad my mum dropped that jerk. She is a lot happier now.
#43
General shows up to our meeting impromptu asking about some metric, which he has set a target as X. The Colonels assure him that it is indeed X, when the whole room knows dang well that it is actually 4X and that X will never happen. And that the General will now proceed to inform policymakers which in all likelihood will result in fewer resources and increased risk of harm to the people in the room. But it will earn the General admiration for having accomplished X.
#44
"This will be a quick meeting" and the whole room just sat down and accepted it like we hadn't all been burned before.
#45
"I'll circle back to you on that"
The go-to *I don't know w*f to say so I'll just make a vague acknowledgement to follow up and hope that they also just forget about it after a few days* response in like 99% of work meetings.
#46
Thanksgiving 2025. mom served a turkey so dry it could double as kindling. we all said 'oh wow, perfectly roasted!' while chewing gravel. i wanted to scream but just kept smiling and passing the cranberry sauce to hide my face.
Gerry Higgins 1 hour ago
I once served a kindling-turkey. Everyone said how good it was I called them all out for lying. I ate some, too, and new better. We had a good laugh and filled up on sides & pies.
#47
The bloke we saw three or four times a year who had a painfully obvious wig. Then he turned up without it and said he'd had meningitis and all his hair had fallen out.
Not a soul in the room believed him.
#48
That one of my husband’s sisters wasn’t with a married man who had a wife and 2 children at home while he attended my husband’s sister’s family Christmas and other dinners. Made me so upset my husband and I stopped attending.
#49
There's one actor I follow who's wife basically only posts about him and people totally fall for her "we're so happy posts" when like if they were really happy she wouldn't have to post about the relationship all the time. (Actually one did admit to me she found the couple to be shady but posted and gushed about them so she wouldnt look bad).
#50
"This is our year!" - Dallas Cowboys fans.
#51
The CEO saying 'We're like a family here' right before announcing mandatory weekend overtime and a pizza party. The entire room nods while mentally drafting their two-week notice.".
#52
I went to a lecture of Jurgen Habermas, who is a famous philosopher, in college. It was completely impossible to understand a single word of what this man was saying. He was quite old, back then I believed he had some kind of speech disability. Yet the auditorium was FILLED with professors and students who all seemed fully engaged with his lecture.
It reminded me of the story of the king without clothes who gave a speech and didn't realize he had no clothes on, yet his audience pretended that everything was normal.
#53
“I couldn’t do my homework, my grandad passed away last week”.
No he didn’t, I saw him yesterday!!
#54
When they asked for the office wifi password at lunch and I told them password123. Definitely got a good laugh from that one.
#56
Probably when someone says they’re “five minutes away” and they haven’t even left the house yet. We all know that lie.
#57
"This isn’t a layoff, it’s an organizational restructuring and realignment of strategic goals.".
#58
Truth or dare with a group of friends when we were younger. Troy was very obviously very very gay. Tori was smoking hot with big chest. Troy was dared to kiss Tori, and promptly declined because he wasn't feeling well and didn't want to get her sick. We all pretended to believe him when he said he was straight throughout the years, but the atmosphere in that room when people were trying to "believe" him about not feeling well was one of the most awkward situations I've ever been in. He's married to a guy now and Tori ended up blowing me on one of our group camping trips. All's well that ends well.
#59
When someone says, “I'm fine,” and everyone knows they're clearly not, but nobody wants to ask what's wrong.
#60
This meeting could’ve been an email” nah the real lie is when the boss says “there’s no stupid questions” and then looks at u like that 💀.
#61
I convinced a group of my friends that denzel Washington was a distant descendant of George Washington
American history is not widely known in the uk.
#62
Managers encourage feedback and promise will improve ways of working.
And 3 months later, nothing really changed, just some new names for same thing.
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