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78 People Who Blurted Out The Most Obvious Lies And Thought They Could Fool Someone
Ever since we were kids, we’ve been told that lying is bad. I mean, that’s what the nursery rhyme “Johny Johny Yes Papa” is all about. But as we grow up, we realize that sometimes white lies are necessary if we don’t want to hurt someone. Bigger deceptions, however, can’t be shrugged off.
For instance, people who fib and traumatize others should be held accountable. But not everyone can cook up a convincing lie. Some are so bad at it that no one falls for them. When netizens shared the most obvious lies they’d ever been told, we pulled together the wildest ones below. Just scroll down to laugh at their sheer stupidity!
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#1
I was in a pub having a chat with this fella and he casually slipped in that he had an IQ of 276. I didn't call him on it as he seemed like an otherwise nice bloke and I was enjoying the conversation but that's the biggest whopper someones told me in a long while.
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#2
Work hard, get an advanced degree, and you will be successful.
The world is just so different now!
I know it wasn't an intentional lie. I'm in my mid-40s and when I was in high school, that's what past reality had taught adults. So I'm not angry or bitter about it and I understand where this advice came from.
But tech and trades really seem to be where the money is at, especially if you have to take out student loans to get through college!
Saul Goodman from Breaking Bad is often considered one of television’s biggest liars. He mastered this art so well that he rolled out one fib after another without feeling any remorse. In fact, if you watch the series, he sounds so earnest in his deception that anyone would believe it.
As I said before, lying isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but some are just born with the talent for fibbing. On the other hand, some are absolutely terrible at it. But that doesn’t stop them from lying. And that’s why we have this list, which clearly shows that even their failure won’t stand in their way.
#4
When I was in grade 2, my best friend and I built a trap to catch the toothfairy. We had a sleepover and found money in the trap but no toothfairy. A few weeks later he lost another tooth and told me he was going to set up the trap again. He called me in the morning to say he caught her. I'm 98% sure he was lying.
#5
If the UK leaves the EU we will have an extra £350 million a week we can spend on the NHS.
#6
"No no, I didn't buy a gift for you. You must be mistaken" - My girlfriend, who ordered something I needed for months using my amazon account, writing my phone number in the order page. I love that goofball.
A study examined 116,366 lies told by 632 participants over 91 consecutive days. 75% of respondents did not lie much; about zero to two lies per day. Most were small white lies, like saying you like a gift you really don’t. Unlike previous lie studies, this one examined lies over time rather than a one-day survey of behavior.
It found that “people who are usually honest have days in which they lie more than is typical for them and prolific liars have days in which they tell few lies. Generally, prolific liars exhibited much more day-to-day variation than the rest of the sample. This variance was especially true for the top 1% of liars, who averaged 17 lies per day. The only respondents who did not vary much day-to-day were the 1% who rarely lied.”
#7
Caught my 2 year old nephew taking my loose change when I was babysitting him over the weekend.
"Are you taking my money?" "No is my monies."
Adorable little liar.
#8
When my friend's dog ate my goldfish, and then my friend lied to me and said I never had any goldfish. But why did I have the bowl, then? Why did I have the bowl?
#9
A girl I knew in college tried to convince me she had to cancel plans because she had malaria, despite never leaving England. Two days later she'd "recovered".
The study also highlighted the various reasons why people tell lies. 21%: to avoid others, 20%: as humor (a joke or a prank), 14%: to protect oneself, 13%: to impress or appear more favorable, 11%: to protect another person, 9%: for personal benefit or gain, 5%: for the benefit of another person, 2%: to hurt another person, 5%: unspecified reasons or, explicitly, for no reason at all.
#10
"We'll let you know."
Last thing I heard on the last 8 job interviews I've had. 7 of which never contacted me again or replied to my inquiries. What the hell is the world coming to that basic courtesies are not even extended after interviewing for a job???
#11
My friend was adamant that he had a "diesel powered turbo" built into his ford Taurus. I called his bluff countless times, and there was always some reason he couldn't show me at the time..
when he finally did, he lifts his hood, and his "turbo" was the air intake with holes drilled into it. I rofled.
He also tried to convince everyone he had a waterproof phone ( in the late 90's/ very early 00's) He proceeded to dip it in the ocean and it went haywire.
#12
When I was really young, my older brother had this friend who would come over and boast about things. IIRC, he had learned how to swim when he was on a cruise with his parents, fell off the boat and flailed around. He also said he had seen Santa's sleigh in the sky, when he went out to urinate on christmas night.
Even at five years old I didn't believe him.
In 2017, Matthew Lupoli, Lily Jampol, and Christopher Oveis conducted an interesting study titled Lying because we care: Compassion increases prosocial lying. Their studies investigated whether feeling compassionate actually makes someone more likely to tell white lies.
In the first two studies, participants were asked to give feedback on a poorly written essay. Those who felt experimentally induced compassion, or who naturally scored high in trait compassion, tended to give inflated, overly positive feedback. Their compassion led them to prioritize protecting the writer’s feelings over being completely honest.
#13
From my dad, last week: "Your grandmother is in the hospital, under observation for depression. The reason she's depressed is that you don't have enough respect for me and you don't make enough of an effort to be a good daughter."
It's paraphrased, but what a crock of bull, how ridiculously manipulative, and what a giant show of disrespect for my intelligence.
hannahbahngswife 18 minutes ago
Does OP and I have the same dad? Minus the grandmother in hospital BS, I apparently don't have enough respect and isn't a good daughter too.
#14
A "friend" claimed he has a "hacker station" in his house. He said he can hack into your computer just by searching your name. I just sat back and nodded.
#15
We were in year 8 or 9, and one of my friends came back to school after spending a summer with her extended family in London, where she had met Daniel Radcliffe and Tom Felton. They continued their long distance friendships with Tom Felton and her having frequent MSN conversations where they use witty nick names for eachother, and Daniel Radcliffe sending her love letters. Apparently his crush on her culminated in him calling her at a party and confessing his love for her.
Meanwhile, the third study added a twist by looking at financial motives. Compassion increased lying when the lie benefited a charity. However, it didn’t lead to more lying if the financial gain was for oneself.
This suggests that compassion specifically drives us to lie when we want to help others. Ultimately, it highlights a potentially harmful side to an emotion we usually view as purely positive.
#16
In elementary school a kid said he turned his basement into a skating rink by keeping his freezer open.
#17
It wasn't obvious until I was older, but I once confronted my mother as to why Santa and daddy had the same handwriting. She explained that all grown up boys have the same handwriting.
#18
An ex-friend told me he was hired by Disneyland to be Jack Sparrow.
Supposedly, some reps saw him at Anime Expo cosplaying as Jack, and they were so "overwhelmed" by his impersonation that they hired him on the spot.
He told this to me, the Disney fangirl who knows well that's not how Disney hires people. He's also too short to even try out for the role (he could have been Pluto...). He also lives too far from the park.
He also said that in Fantasmic they were going to replace the Peter Pan sequence with PotC, and he was going to star in it. Maybe in Disney World where the shows are more modern, but not here in California.
Unfortunately, everyone believed his lies. I called him out on it, and just 3 months later he claims he quit because there were "Too many Jacks at the park." Riiiiiight.
To elaborate further, we also look at what Elena Svetieva, an assistant professor of communication, and Leanne ten Brinke, an assistant professor of psychology, told Psyche.
As social scientists studying the consequences of lies, they’ve concluded that these widespread beliefs and practices of deception are wrong and harmful. Lies, even the little ones, don’t help as much as you might think, and they cost far more than you imagine, they add.
#19
Not told to me- but by a friend about me.
Back in high school one halloween, I was up to no good and wanted to stay out all night with my friends. However, I had a midnight curfew, so I hatched a brilliant scheme to have a friend call my dad pretending to be another friend's mom. Here's how the conversation went:
Friend: "Hi... ummm... Mr. Pickphlow's dad? This is Mrs. [friend]'s Mom, and I was wondering if Pickphlow can stay over?"
Dad: "[Friend], put Pickphlow on the phone. NOW"
Not my friend's finest moment.
#20
“I have a pool in my house” // he didn’t, I know this guy for like 20 years, went to his house all the time, don’t really know why he tought he could get away with a lie like that.
#21
I've a reverse example I'll share because it's so cute.
My friend, a second grade teacher, had a sweet lil guy who was an African immigrant. Lil Guy told his classmates that his dad had been rich and they had pet giraffes and elephants. My friend thought it was just a sweet kid lie until Lil Guy brought in a photo album with pics of him, at different ages, riding his elephant and hanging with giraffes.
The two experts also explain, “Every time you decide to lie, even if that lie is intended as a kindness, you feed the cynical side of yourself. Psychologists call this ‘deceiver’s distrust’. The reasoning goes: ‘If I’m lying, other people are probably lying to me too.’ You start to distrust others, ironically, because you are being dishonest.”
“Each time someone chooses to lie, no matter how small or seemingly inconsequential, a thread unravels. No big reveal that deception has occurred is necessary, no treachery named, no betrayal felt, no punishment to the deceiver doled out; rather, it is the act itself that harms.”
#22
"Me and my friends used to live near an RAF base and so we'd sneak into the hangars, get into a chinook helicopter, hover it to a few metres off the ground and jump out of the back!"
Yep, he claimed a bunch of 13 year olds could do this. He was 30.
#23
A guy my SO knew casually bragged that he breached the local Uni's security to access restricted sites and when pulled up on it he said he deserved some kind of recognition for exposing flaws in their system.
I guess he figured the nerdy looking guy he was talking to wouldn't have seen The Social Network, which came out just months prior...
#24
Someone I knew told my friends and I that his band's EP was produced by the guy who produces The Foo Fighters music. If it wasn't obvious that he was lying already, it gets worse.
My friend then says "so you're telling me Dave Grohl produced your music?"
He responds "no, I said his producer."
My friend then explains that Grohl is his own producer and asks him again "so Grohl produced your EP?"
The guy stammers as he says yes. My friend finding it unbelievable that he would try to keep this lie going, continues to interrogate him.
" So you met Dave Grohl, and he heard your band, and then said he'd produce your music?"
The guy was adamant that this happened even though he clearly didn't know Grohl produces his own music until my friend told him. It's been almost a decade since this happened and we still laugh about it today.
Lastly, they advise that you might not choose to be honest in every situation. But they believe that thoughtfully considering the potential positive outcomes of honesty will help you counter the tendency to jump to the worst-case scenario.
“You’ll better understand where those missed opportunities for honesty lie, and seize them when they come. By building trust in your individual conversations, you can change your own sense of trust in others,” they sum up.
#25
Had a house party when I was a teen (whilst my parents were away) and broke the ironing board by riding it down the stairs. I threw it in the river to hide the evidence (I know, not cool. Idiotic 15 year old).
My parents came back and asked about the ironing board and I gave it the, “what ironing board?” “Are you sure there was an ironing board before you left?” “personally, I don’t ever really remember seeing an ironing board in this house”
They were unimpressed at best.
#26
"Your call is very important to us." Then why am I still on hold several minutes after I dialed your number?
#27
I'm a lawyer. I was working on a child welfare case where the father was ordered to undergo hair follicle testing for substance use. Then he shaved off all of his hair - head, facial and body - but insisted to the social workers and even the Judge that it was just something he'd been planning to do all along and it had nothing to do with substance testing.
Well, bad liars can definitely learn something from this. After all, their lies only end up harming them. So, what did you think of this list? Did any of these terrible fibs fool you? Which ones made you facepalm yourself? And which ones gave you secondhand embarrassment? Give them an upvote or write your thoughts in the comments. Also, if you found this list funny, check out some more laughably unconvincing lies!
#28
My three year old son told me he was stronger than the Hulk, he informed me he had smashed my Jeep with his powerful fists, and he would throw me all the way to work in the morning.
I looked out the windows and told him he lied and my Jeep was still there. He said he smashed it but then repaired it with his magic repair hammer so I wouldn't cry.
He's a pretty obvious liar.....magic hammer. RIIIIIIGHT. How stupid does he think I am?
#29
Kid in second grade told me he had a remote control helicopter that could turn invisible.
#31
Seriously, there's nothing going on between him and I. We're just friends. There's nothing to worry about.
Catch them making out about 3 beers later.
#32
A kid I went to school with told me he had a chimps as pets and said I could have one. His mom made him get rid of all the chimps the day before he was going to bring me one. I still want to believe.
#33
I remember one time I was getting food at a Wendy's drive thru and I ordered a Coke. When I got my order, I noticed that it didn't look like there was Coke in it, so I popped the lid off and saw that it was some clear soda. I went back and told them that they gave me the wrong soda and the guy looked me in the eye and said, "No, we gave you Coke, I filled it myself." Clearly it was not Coke, and the guy could see that it was a clear beverage, but he refused to admit his mistake. I had somewhere to go, so I didn't feel like arguing with him and just left.
#34
This prince from Nigeria told me he would give me like $15,000 if I lent him a grand.
#35
Back in the late 90's:
"Did you hear the Red Wings traded Steve Yzerman for Wayne Gretzky??"
"No they didn't"
"I swear! It's all over the news right now!"
#36
While I was married to my first husband, my mother told me that she had intimacy with said husband. He said she was lying. Obviously, someone was lying. Oh, how classy my life has been.
#37
Found other girls hairs on his pillows. "My friend uses my place and must have brought their girlfriend here. They must have slept on my bed"... Yep. Doesn't explain why theres more than one type and questionable stains on the sheets. I got out of there so fast.
#38
A kid in my choir class told me he was going to a nirvana concert last year.
#39
In my early 20s, when I was with my best friend from high school in the mall. This very attractive girl, a year younger, walks by us. My friend tells me about the intimacy he had with her and her friend back in high school and how they slept together a few times after that.
He had no idea I was close with her and had known her for years. I called her, told her I just saw her walk by me and to wait up for me. His face when that went down, plus when she introduced herself to him was awesome. I ragged on him relentlessly.
#40
Was walking down the street when I noticed some guy drop his wallet. I tried being a nice guy, and ran after him to try to give him his wallet back. He looked at me with a straight face and said That's not my wallet. I told him I saw him drop it. He again said that's not my wallet. I asked him if he was Mr. Star and if this was his ID in the wallet. He said yes. I told him then that makes this your wallet. He replied makes sense to me. So I said here take your wallet. He replies, but its not my wallet.
#41
A guy in high school tried to convince me he had intimacy with my girlfriend.
I didn't even have a girlfriend at the time so I tried to call his bluff.
"What was her name?"
"She didn't tell me, it was a one night stand."
"What color hair did she have?"
"It was dark, I couldn't tell"
I was more impressed that he had an answer for everything.
#42
When I was a sophomore in high school, my "friend" (nobody liked him, we all just tolerated his weird things) told me that he and his brother made a video game console that you could input your own story into and have it create the game for you. Of course, he was never able to show it to us cuz, you know, reasons.
#43
My LTR ex-gf dumped me one night out of the blue right before Valentine's Day. No argument, no explanation, little discussion, no options. She begged me to stay friends. I terminated the relationship when a new boyfriend appeared in March.
Three years later, on Facebook, she wrote an entry in January talking about how wonderful her 3 year anniversary dinner was with the fiance. Again, she dumped me in February.
I wrote her an email asking her to explain. The obvious lie?
"That's not really our anniversary. But we're both so busy..."
#46
An old guy I work with has maintained that he and Shania Twain kissed on a bus.
Also, he was once abandoned in the ocean and rescued by Jamaican fishermen, is a world-class archer, bowler, diver, golfer, angler, gymnast, and could've gone pro but his high school basketball coach was jealous of him.
#47
An old friend who works at Verizon said he was offered to be moved to China and become head of international sales. He turned it down because he didn’t think he’d like it there.
#48
I have a co worker that has so many stories and experiences he should be like a 120 years old. His most recent obvious lie. When he was in the army as a private or something, everyone was so scared of him. Apparently his commanding officer said something he didn’t like and punched him. And of course he didn’t get into any trouble. It’s getting more difficult to give this guy a courtesy laugh.
#49
Taught a class for many at risk and special needs. One girl who could barely read or write at age 16 was convincing another few that when living in mexico her family is actually rich and had mansions. This was at the time those little 2 wheeled hoverboards were coming out. She claimed that back in mexico they actually floated like a real hoverboard and were made a solid gold at her mansion. the girl was dirt poor too:(.
#51
My brother is a pathological liar. He was a load master on a C17. One time he told me that he transported Marine 1 helicopter for then President George Bush. Okay that's plausible. He went on to tell me that he went to introduce my mom, dad and sister to the President. Secret Service approached my mom to frisk her. He said "I said hold on that's my moms don't touch her" then he threatened them. They backed down and everyone met the President. I told my sister the story. She laughed. Nobody ever did any of that.
By the way he would be in the brig if he threatened the secret Service who are guarding the President. Oh yeah he said he told Bush he had to meet all his men and so Bush obliged. God he's delusional.
Edit: typo.
#52
Don't worry I'm not like others, I'm a good guy
(P.S- he turned out to be a creepy stalker).
#53
A guy around my age (47) told me he was a Vietnam vet and wouldn't back down off of it. I eventually just went.
#54
“i went over to his house, sat in this bean bag chair he had while he sat on the couch and we watched a movie and it was awkward so i left before it was over”
found out she showered there, had intimacy with him, and slept there lmao.
#55
I worked with a compulsive liar for a couple years. Decent worker but you couldn't believe anything he said. I specifically remember in November 2010ish he told us Taco Bell was going to switch to Coke in January.
Spoiler: Taco Bell is owned by Pepsi (basically, it's complicated now).
#56
I caught this girl I went to college with share a story to me and a bunch of friends about her past. As I listened, my friends and I realized some very distinct situations and specific circumstances about the story. It was actually my story, about my middle school, and my encounters. Stupid lie.
#60
This will get buried, but this actually happened.
I was teaching at risk teens. One kid in particular was being a jerk. I told him to sit down. While standing directly in front of me, "I am sitting!"
"No, you're not."
"You can't prove it."
So I knocked over his chair and asked if he was alright.
#61
My little brother defecated his pants when he was like 4. He takes them off and leaves them on the ground and changes. My mom finds the pants and the horrible smell, so she questions him. "Did you defecate your pants?" She asks. "No," he says. "Jeremy (his older brother who's way bigger then him) did it."
#62
"You're my favorite son" - said to my brother, who's in the same room as me.
"You're my favorite son" - said to me, in the same room as my brother.
#63
High school classmate claimed he has a special layer on his eye and can stare right into the sun, then claimed he's once stared at the sun for 24hr straight.
#64
"Yeah, dude. I'm totally good to drive," he slurs, reeking of cheap grain alcohol, inhaling the burning filter of a cigarette.
#66
When I was younger, I would be dropped off with my brother at the police station for my mother to pick us up(parents are divorced). One night she didn't show. We go to the gas station to use the pay phone(early 2000s) and we called her home phone. The excuse she gave us for not being there was "I'm in kentucky for work right now, I'll be home tomorrow." My brother who was talking to her believed her and told my dad who responded "we called her home phone, tell her to get over here."
#67
When I was younger this guy told me he once had a fever of 148 without going to the doctor.
#68
About a year ago, I was into this girl, and I thought one of my close friends was too, so I asked him if he was talking to her and he said no. He asked her out the next day.
#69
I might but a little late to this but here it goes
SO in highschool I had an attractive female 'friend' who must've got off on the weird lies she told. There were many but I'll just name the ones that stuck out
- she was ran over by a car while just laying down in the street chillin. Okay whatever. Heard her tell the story twice. First time she was 5. Second time 11. Pretty sure she said she broke all the bones in her body then recovered quickly, because God.
- she was in a severe, tragic plane crash when she was 8 while living over seas. Her family were the only survivors
- She joined cross country because her at the time boyfriend was on the team, and she couldn't bear being away from him. Month or so later she quit and said it was because she had extreme heart issues and if she was breathing too heavily her heart would explode ( her mother had told me she had forced her to quit because she kept lying to them. I heard this story before my female friend shared her lovely heartfelt tale)
Oh man was she somethin.
#70
Just the most recent one in memory. A store employee recently wolf whistled at me as I bent over to buy flour.
Me: Did you just whistle at me?
Him: Huh?
Me: Did you just whistle at me?
Him: I mean, I whistled, but not at you.
Me: You wolf whistled at nothing?
Him: Uh...yeah. I like to whistle.
(I've now written whistle so many times that it sounds weird to my brain. And yours, I guess!)
#73
We went to see a movie for my grandma’s birthday bc anything that comes on TV she SWEARS she’s already seen it
The movie she picked was so boring
At one point, she turned to my mom and I and said “Don’t worry y’all.. it gets better. I’ve seen this one before.”
#74
My ex husband and his girlfriend telling me there was nothing going on while they were staying at a motel.
#75
In grade school, I remember being told we couldn't use a calculator on tests because we wouldn't be able to use one in real life.
Even in college, I remember how we couldn't use Wikipedia or online sources for articles because "they couldn't be trusted."
Am I 80? No. 70? Nah. 60? Negative. 50? *shakes head sideways* 40? Not quite!
#76
My wife went to job interview. Was asked the question 'If you were an animal what animal would you be?' Reels off answer. That night she tells me the question she was asked and the answer she gave.
Next day at work in passing I mentioned the interview and question and answer to my direct report.
A week later talking to the same report he says to me 'I've just been to a management seminar and was asked what animal would I be' He then reels off the word for word answer my wife gave as if it was his own.
a) The guy isn't management and hadn't just been to a management seminar
b) The guy talks strange things all the time.... Like the time he tells us all about boot camp and been dressed down by a drill instructor even though he's never been in the army
I stop there nodding and smiling. I just didn't have the heart to call him a liar.
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