“I’d Really Like To Hear The Reasoning Behind Women Who Won’t Take Their Husband’s Last Name” (28 Answers)

My husband was relieved when I told him he could keep his maiden name.

It’s 2023 and we’re still on this? No one owes you a reason.

Missing women are even harder to find if they've had a name changed.

When I was a small child in the 1950s, the first thing I noticed about gender inequity (which was never or rarely discussed back then) was women giving up their previous name. It just seemed so one-way to me and consequently made no sense.

It never occurred to either of us to say I'd take his surname. He didn't/doesn't own me. He felt as strongly as I did about it. "Nope, we're married, not owned" basically. So, yeah. Most people don't grasp it, and while we expected me to be called Mrs. Hisname, it's happened that he's been called Mr. Myname. We correct them, they look confused anyway, life goes on.

Have you every picked up your grandma's mail and it read "Mrs. John Ratatoui"--that used to be the norm. Don't need it. Don't want it.

I don't know what I'd do if I got married to my boyfriend. Pros- I get my surname from my dad who was abusive and I chose not to see when I turned 16. I love and respect my boyfriend, so taking his name would cut that connection. Plus I'm not a fan of double barreled names so I'd want our children to have his name, and I like the idea of us having the same name. Cons- It's been my name all my life so it would be strange to have a different name. It's complicated to update everything with a new name.

We were married in 1986. At the time I told my wife that she was more than welcome to keep her maiden name. She looked at me like I was stupid. "I am an artist and your name is a much better last name than mine." So there. I am sure there are a bunch of dudes out there twitting about women that don't take their husband's last name and how that's leading to the end of civilization. Meet my wife of 30+ years.

The traditional name change was because the wife became his property, he didn't take my name so I didn't take his

My wife chose to take my last name because she really liked it. But I made it clear she was under no obligation to do so.

My parents decided based on whose name was less common. I like their decision.

I have a very unique and rare last name, it's in my family tree from at least 1600's. When I got married, I told my husband I don't change, and he has a free choise to keep his (ordinary) last name or take mine. He chose mine. So we have my rare last name and I didn't demand him to take it :)

I wanted to take my wife's surname because I don't like mine. She wanted my name (just because she a bit old fashioned), eventually, after months of discussing it, we decided to just keep our own names.

I've been married for 28 years next month. I knew I didn't want kids and his last name is super common. Plus I just didn't want to.

Personally, I have never understood why some women decide to change their names from something simple to spell & pronounce to something complicated just because they got married. That, or if the new husband has a questionable name. But too each their own. I kept my name because I never wanted to change it and it's a perfectly good name

"I'd really like to hear the reasoning behind men who don't take their wives' last names." See how ridiculous that sounds?

Why isn't because "I didn't want to." good enough?

I got married early and didn't have a driver's license at the time. I only sent a request for my SIN and used his name socially. At the time, we lived in a province when the woman kept her maiden name but because I changed the name on my SIN, my Income Taxes were under my married name. This province is also known for their high level of feminists and keeping your name after marriage is equal to being a feminist, which I'm not. When we moved to another province, I changed everything. It was easy; we were both doing it anyways for the address and the rest. I do not regret this and if I ever go back to the original province, I will change it in Court - they allow that. Our children have his name, we both have the same; it's so much easier and it just rounds up everyone; we're a unit. My brother and his children all have different names and it's a mess (hyphen, no hyphen, her name first, his name first...). Not for me.

Because if I ever get married, I become his partner, not his property. Besides, I know I’m never having kids, so I don’t have do deal with the controversial yet valid “shouldn’t our kids have the same last name as both of us” debate.