“I Have A Very Big Problem With This”: New Mom Starts A Discussion After Sharing That Her MIL Wants To Get A Tattoo Of Grandkid’s Footprint

Tattoos can be a wonderful way to commemorate an important event or show a loved one how much you care about them. However, before you get someone’s name or footprint inked on your body, it’s probably a good idea to run this by them… or their parents.

A mom, who recently gave birth to her first child, turned to the r/JUSTNOMIL subreddit for advice on how to deal with her mother-in-law. You see, they’re not at all close, but the MIL has plans to get the baby’s footprint tattooed on her. And the mom was unsure if she was overreacting to this. Read on for the full story, as well as to see what tips internet users gave the OP.

Births are a cause for celebration, and one way that people show their love for babies is by getting tattoos

Baby's feet peeking from under a blanket, symbolizing grandkid's footprint.

Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)

However, one mom felt uncomfortable that her mother-in-law wants to tattoo the newborn’s footprint on her body

Text post discussing MIL wanting tattoo of grandkid's footprint, sparking a new mom's concerns.

Text discussing a husband's relationship with his divorced parents.

Text from a new mom discussing her MIL's request for a grandkid's footprint tattoo.

Text discussing a new mom's issue with her MIL wanting a tattoo of grandkid's footprint.

Text discussing a grandmother becoming more involved with her second grandchild.

Text discussing a problem between a new mom and MIL over grandchild's footprint tattoo.

Family dinner scene with candles and food, discussing a grandmother's desire for a tattoo of her grandkid's footprint.

Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)

Text discussing MIL wanting grandkid's footprint tattoo without asking new mom.

Text screenshot about grandmother's large, poorly done tattoo of granddaughter's foot.

Text discussing new mom's concerns about MIL wanting a grandkid's footprint tattoo.

Tattoo artist working in a studio, tattooing a footprint on a client's arm, surrounded by art and equipment.

Image credits: Pavel Danilyuk (not the actual photo)

Text discussing family concerns over MIL wanting a tattoo of grandkid's footprint.

Text discussing a new mom's concerns about her MIL wanting a tattoo of grandkid's footprint.

Text image discussing a MIL wanting a tattoo of grandkid's footprint while parents don't have one yet.

Text expressing concerns about MIL's tattoo idea of grandkid's footprint, seeking advice on communicating feelings to husband.

Image credits: I_Have_A*al_Leakage

The internet helped the mom see the situation from a variety of perspectives

The r/JUSTNOMIL subreddit, where the mom shared her story, is an online community that’s a safe space for people to vent about their mother-in-laws “who are the worst.” Members try to support each other and give useful advice. The group has been helping everyone deal with “nasty, cruel, toxic” MILs all the way since 2015.

According to the OP, this was her very first time posting there. Everyone was very friendly and helpful, helping the mom see all of the angles. Broadly speaking, they urged her to set some clear boundaries with her mother-in-law, instead of avoiding the issue altogether. And even though some redditors were unsure about what was “so intimate” about a footprint, many of them believed that it was up to her to decide whether someone else should or shouldn’t get a tattoo like that. Others, however, thought the mom may have been acting a tad too sensitive in this particular case.

Stressed woman sitting, hand on head, contemplating issues surrounding MIL's desire for grandkid's footprint tattoo.

Image credits: Liza Summer (not the actual photo)

People clash with their in-laws more often than with their own parents

The author of the post mentioned that she and her mother-in-law aren’t close. And that’s not very surprising: many people have tense relationships with their in-laws. A recent study published in the Evolutionary Psychological Science journal found that people, regardless of gender, argue more with their MILs than with their own mothers.

According to ‘Choosing Therapy,’ some reasons why a MIL might be overbearing include having a controlling nature, being narcissistic, or having an authoritative or authoritarian parenting style. As such, some mothers-in-law are bound to have sky-high expectations for others and might dole out more criticism than praise. Or, in other words, no matter how hard you try, nothing will ever be good enough for them.

New mom in discussion about MIL wanting grandkid's footprint tattoo, in a casual setting.

Image credits: SHVETS production (not the actual photo)

It’s not hard to spot an overbearing MIL

Some red flags that you might be dealing with an incredibly overbearing MIL include a total disrespect of your boundaries. She might show up at your place unannounced and start doing things ‘her way’ to show her dominance. Moreover, she will also most likely ignore your subtle hints that you want her to leave.

Meanwhile, overbearing mothers-in-law will also be incredibly judgmental, insist that they’re always right, and will find ways—either subtle or overt—to pressure you into doing what they want. Their excuse for overstepping any and all boundaries might be that they care about the family. However, they might simply want to be at the center of attention and get praise for all of their ‘help.’ Alternatively, they might not be aware that they’re being domineering or that they’re doing something wrong.

Marriage.com suggests taking things in stride and having an open conversation with your MIL if she doesn’t seem to be taking any of your hints about boundaries. You need to lay out the ground rules without attacking your MIL, and you both have to come to some sort of compromise, so you can coexist moving forward.

New mom holding baby in soft knit sweater, discussing MIL wanting tattoo of grandkid's footprint.

Image credits: Kristina Paukshtite (not the actual photo)

The mom shared some more information in the comments

Reddit discussion about mother-in-law wanting tattoo of grandkid's footprint, user comments on family dynamics.

Reddit discussion about MIL wanting a tattoo of grandkid's footprint, suggesting a necklace alternative.

Forum discussion about MIL wanting a tattoo of grandkid's footprint, featuring differing viewpoints.

Her post started a discussion, and the readers had different opinions

Reddit comment discussing a new mom's issue with her MIL wanting a tattoo of the grandkid's footprint.

Reddit comment expressing discomfort about getting a child's name, face, or footprint tattooed, gathering 398 points.

Online discussion about MIL wanting grandkid's footprint tattoo.

Comment discussing a mother-in-law's desire to tattoo her grandkid's footprint.

Reddit comment discussing discomfort over MIL wanting a tattoo of grandkid's footprint and suggestions to handle it.

Text of a social media comment discussing sentimental tattoos of baby footprints as a coping mechanism.

Reddit comment discussing a new mom's concern about MIL wanting a tattoo of grandkid's footprint.

Text discussing concerns about a MIL wanting a grandkid's footprint tattoo.

Reddit comment discussing a problem about a MIL wanting a grandkid's footprint tattoo.

Reddit comment humorously discussing a grandmother with multiple grandkid footprint tattoos.

Comment expressing concerns over tattooing grandkid's footprint for privacy reasons.

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