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“They Are Not My Children”: Woman Refuses To Pay Husband’s Child Support, Ex Loses Her Mind
Child support is crucial for many families to meet children’s needs after parents separate. However, such an arrangement rarely goes without disputes over its amount, late or missed payments, and how it’s used, among other things. This often causes emotional stress for both parents and affects the kids and new partners involved, too.
In this family’s case, the conflict rose from the fact that the dad was late on payment due to their failing business. To resolve the situation, his ex suggested that his current wife pay it on his behalf, which didn’t sit right with his spouse, causing a quarrel between the parents.
RELATED:
Child support arrangements rarely go without disputes
Image credits: unsplash (not the actual photo)
This family was no exception and it all started because the dad was late on his payment
Image credits: unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Jaded_777
New partner isn’t legally responsible to financially support their stepkids
Image credits: unsplash (not the actual photo)
Quite a few things are causing tension in this family’s child support arrangement, which readers were quick to point out in the comments. One that is taking the front stage is the new partner that the ex-wife expects to pay child support instead of her husband. As most, and even the author herself, rightly mentioned, new partners aren’t responsible for financially contributing to their stepkids’ child support.
“Normally, if you remarry or live with a new partner, that won’t—in and of itself—affect an existing child support order. That’s because your new partner usually has no legal obligation to support your children from a prior relationship. And the child support guidelines in most states don’t use a new partner’s income when calculating child support,” explains legal encyclopedia Nolo.com.
Even if a blended family consists of divorced parents who both have children from their previous relationship, this doesn’t affect the child support agreements they have in place, as they’re legally both responsible for their own children. That said, this could change in case they have children together. Then their current support payments with ex-partners may be adjusted accordingly.
Another thing that readers were concerned about with this family’s child support agreement was that the dad paid child support even though the co-parents had a 50/50 custody agreement. That is a totally standard practice, as even with 50/50 custody, the parent who earns more may have to pay financial support.
Since the dad now earns less with the family’s business failing, it might seem that he should negotiate for smaller child support payments. However, the original poster, his current wife, clarified this, saying that their lawyers believe this factor doesn’t change anything, since in their state things operate differently.
“She has made more than us for about a year now but when we bring it up to lawyers, they all tell us the same thing. That it won’t change anything because they will go off of his “potential” for earning. This is why we have never gone back to court. We just see it as a waste of time and money if the courts won’t help him anyways,” she explained in the comments.
During child support disputes, it’s crucial to avoid involving children
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
This family is far from being the only one whose child support agreement leads to quarrels. That’s why it could be useful to know how to handle and resolve them. The Law Offices of Robert A. Chapski suggests trying the following advice to address child support disputes:
- Stay focused on the child: Parents should keep discussions centered on the child’s needs rather than personal grievances.
- Be transparent: Both parties should keep and share detailed records of financial information, such as payments and expenses, and discuss concerns openly to avoid misunderstandings.
- Review the child support agreement: Both parties should thoroughly understand their obligations and verify if their agreement complies with the legal child support guidelines in their jurisdiction.
- Document everything: Parents should maintain records of payments, receipts and communication related to child support. These can serve as evidence in case legal action is necessary.
- Consult an attorney: Parents may consult with an attorney for assistance in navigating disputes, ensuring compliance with child support laws and receiving representation in court if needed.
During child support disputes, it’s also crucial to avoid involving children in it and continue taking adequate care of them. The latter should involve open communication, focusing on the children’s needs, providing a stable and consistent environment, encouraging them to find healthy outlets, and seeking out professional help if needed. Disputes between parents can have a profound impact on children, so it’s important to minimize their consequences as much as possible.
Most readers sided with the original poster, saying she shouldn’t pay child support
While some still think she should contribute
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What do you think ?
Glen Ellyn 1 month ago
If custody is truly 50/50, why is anyone paying child support? Each side is shouldering 50% of the costs.
BlackestDawn 1 month ago
From what was in the post it was based on an income disparity at the time of the divorce. Just because you shoulder 50% of the cost doesn't magically mean you can actually afford it. Say that one person brings in 80% of the total household income when together, do you think the other one will always be able to account for 50% of any children's costs if they separate? However OP's husband need to go back to court and get the child support adjusted.
Load More Replies... Tabitha 1 month ago
Listen, if OP is in the US and not in a major metropolitan area, and will be going to work for someone else now that the business failed, she will need a reliable car for the commute. If hubby doesn’t have his own car, he’ll need to carpool with her to get to his own job. Period. No car, no commute, no job, no income. No bills paid, including child support. The ex needs to cool her f*****g jets and stop poisoning the kids’ minds by lying to them about their father and stepmother.
Kate Johnson 1 month ago
The YTA's are deranged and deeply stupid as usual. His kids are not her responsibility.
Woodsie 1 month ago (edited)
Don't discuss anything in front of the kids that you don't want to get back to her, or your MIL either. You all seem to know too much about each other's business. Take her back to court now as who knows how long until you husband is working again, you could do with not having to pay out so much money. Not only have the working circumstances and incomes changed you also have a child and he/she should be taken into account. Any discount in child support won't be backdated but o/s child support will still be owed. Do it now before you are in more debt. NTA re the car. MIL and ex are greedy.
KatSaidWhat 1 month ago
I will pay child support for any child I birthed. End of discussion. Let the ex take him to court for payments and it will suddenly be changed to her paying him child support since she now earns more. MIL can GTFO too.
Southie 1 month ago
I'd love to hear the ex's side of the story. I bet my last dollar it's totally different than what is posted hear. I would also bet that dh is more than one month behind. I'd never stay with a man that wasn't meeting his child payments. OP certainly seems to have no problem with it.
Glen Ellyn 1 month ago
If custody is truly 50/50, why is anyone paying child support? Each side is shouldering 50% of the costs.
BlackestDawn 1 month ago
From what was in the post it was based on an income disparity at the time of the divorce. Just because you shoulder 50% of the cost doesn't magically mean you can actually afford it. Say that one person brings in 80% of the total household income when together, do you think the other one will always be able to account for 50% of any children's costs if they separate? However OP's husband need to go back to court and get the child support adjusted.
Load More Replies... Tabitha 1 month ago
Listen, if OP is in the US and not in a major metropolitan area, and will be going to work for someone else now that the business failed, she will need a reliable car for the commute. If hubby doesn’t have his own car, he’ll need to carpool with her to get to his own job. Period. No car, no commute, no job, no income. No bills paid, including child support. The ex needs to cool her f*****g jets and stop poisoning the kids’ minds by lying to them about their father and stepmother.
Kate Johnson 1 month ago
The YTA's are deranged and deeply stupid as usual. His kids are not her responsibility.
Woodsie 1 month ago (edited)
Don't discuss anything in front of the kids that you don't want to get back to her, or your MIL either. You all seem to know too much about each other's business. Take her back to court now as who knows how long until you husband is working again, you could do with not having to pay out so much money. Not only have the working circumstances and incomes changed you also have a child and he/she should be taken into account. Any discount in child support won't be backdated but o/s child support will still be owed. Do it now before you are in more debt. NTA re the car. MIL and ex are greedy.
KatSaidWhat 1 month ago
I will pay child support for any child I birthed. End of discussion. Let the ex take him to court for payments and it will suddenly be changed to her paying him child support since she now earns more. MIL can GTFO too.
Southie 1 month ago
I'd love to hear the ex's side of the story. I bet my last dollar it's totally different than what is posted hear. I would also bet that dh is more than one month behind. I'd never stay with a man that wasn't meeting his child payments. OP certainly seems to have no problem with it.
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