“Cheating On Your Partner”: 40 Common Things That Should Not Be So Normalized
The fact that something is normal or normalized doesn’t magically make it ethical, moral, or right. Sure, it does feel like the issue has reached a point where folks quite literally don’t see it or just don’t care enough about it and everyone’s cool with that, but it doesn’t detract from the idea that it can be flat out messed up and that something definitely needs to change.
Folks on Reddit recently gathered to discuss such issues, specifically sharing the things that are widely normalized but are actually really messed up in a now viral AskReddit thread.
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Having to pay for vision and dental insurance in addition to health insurance. Last time I checked, your eyeballs and teeth were part of your body and should be considered under medical insurance.
Filming strangers without their knowledge or consent and posting it online for millions to see.
Normalization is a social process whereby something—an idea, an action, what have you—is made “normal” and viewed as such by the vast majority of a society. To them, it just feels natural in everyday life at this point and is often taken for granted.
Massive wealth inequality.
As long as there are people starving to death for lack of food, there should be no such thing as a billionaire.
When countries compare their GDP to Jeff Bezos' wealth, there's something wrong.
Parents posting their children’s entire lives on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, TikTok and treating them as accessories instead of people. Imagine the horror stories we’ll probably hear from these “kidfluencers” in 10-20 years time.
Working 40+ hours a week to make enough money to still be in poverty.
Thank God I only have to work 3 days a week (24h total) and make enough. I'm in Germany though and an MD, so I guess that's privilege
The idea of normalization has been discussed by several notable figures, including French philosopher, historian and activist Michel Foucault. His unique take is within the context of disciplinary power and the 19th century. Essentially, normalization is a process of establishing an ideal standard of behavior and enforcing it through rewards and punishment. This way, you form a broader strategy and discipline that essentially controls society with minimal effort.
Having children when you’re not mentally or financially stable, said what I said.
I agree to certain extent, as there are people chosing not to but the legislation is not on their side. "Pro life" is an oxymoron
And you can say that there are several layers of normalization. That which is good or bad can be normalized as is, but it also changes over time and the new norms can also become good or bad as a result.
This ought to be concerning because, considering the past few US presidential elections and the media’s impact over it was a dangerous game to play as it essentially normalized controversial behaviors.
Trying to guilt the consumer into thinking that they are the ones who can really make a difference with recycling, when 98% of all waste is industrial, retail and restaurant and none of them are big on recycling if they do it at all. Figure is from science writer Elizabeth Royte's book Garbage Land.
Zero tolerance in schools. Protects the bully and harms the innocent
Well, this is what the counselors told the school and it is one of the most stupid s**t I have ever heard, "If you insult/fight back or do something back you are now also being a bully..." I was dumbfounded. (I typed it best off of my memory)
The amount of plastic we use. It's absolutely insane.
The amount of plastic I saw during breakfasts in US hotels was mind-blowing. Everything was single-use only. And after guests were done, the staff just took the single use table cover and threw it in the bin with all the plastic trash. Convenience beats common sense.
The idea behind this sociopolitical normalization was the psychological idea of repetition—a certain kind of desensitization. Repeated exposure to particular behaviors, very closely covered by the media, has great power in pushing towards forming a view that this is normal over time.
delivery drivers and waitresses having their wages determined by customers and not their employers. aka, living off of tips while employers don't pay enough.
Getting puppies for Christmas just to rehome a couple months later(dump at shelters).
Restaurants and grocery stores throwing away mass quantities of good, edible food and not being allowed to donate it.
I found an app that I've been using for a few weeks (I'm not advertising - just saying) where I can buy food that is very close to being "expired" but still good. "Oh no! This muffin might go bad in 3 days!" Well, it's still good. They discount it, and I save money. They have surprise bags where you never know what you're going to get, but it's usually great stuff. Today I bought two bags and gave one to a struggling family who were asking for money outside the store. No food should go to waste when there are so many people struggling to get by.
And it’s not just politics. There are studies that have determined men exhibiting stalker-like behaviors can lead to female viewers to become more tolerant of obsessive behaviors.
While many are protective of the concept of normal, always wanting to retreat to that comfort zone after a life-changing event, it’s these situations of shifting acceptance that prove just how that which is normal changes over time.
Phone use while behind the wheel.
Every trip out is a death roulette game.
I see someone nearly drift into my lane all the time.
This!!! I drive a lot for work and it’s infuriating and stressful to have to be super alert constantly because half the people on the road are to distracted to actually drive. I’m constantly stuck behind someone who’s speed varies between 35-50 multiple times between lights because they gotta get that text in. Can’t pass them because they’re playing ping pong with the lane lines. Anyone who thinks you’re good at diving and texting, you’re not. Your driving like a jerk and putting lives in danger for a throw away conversation.
Child marriage.
Look at how many US states allow child marriages with "parents permission".
If a f*****g child can't consent to sex its probably wrong that their parents can consent to their marriage.
In fact, having a fixed idea of what is normal seems to be a problem. Cultural theorists, sociologists and other experts agree that more folks should recognize that normal is a “value judgment and not a neutral or descriptive term.” It is so because having set ideas of what normal is in beauty and aesthetics is damaging to the self esteem of women and girls alike.
Most gynecological procedures, as they often don’t allow anesthetics and can be downright barbaric. Women get screwed when it comes to healthcare.
They always have been. Look up how and why the chainsaw was invented. Hint: for childbirth.
Having toddlers scroll TikTok so they shut up. Hell every human under 12 shouldn't be anywhere near.
Forcing mothers to go back to work when their babies are like, fresh from the womb. It’s barbaric and cruel.
So, no, not everything needs to be normalized. Not only for the reasons above, but also there is a certain kind of overuse and subsequent misapplication of the concept of normalizing things in modern day society.
While the idea of normalizing things to foster a culture of acceptance is definitely the way to go, a lot of folks started using the word as if it’s a trend and have attempted to either normalize things that are already normal or have attempted to normalize them into a level of glamorizing it. It’s overdoing it, in other words.
Poor care of “beginner” pets like goldfish, hamsters, leopard geckos etc.
I had a gerbil as a teenager. Sometimes I would leave the lid off his tank and block the door up so he couldn't escape the room. Weeks later I discovered he had found a back way into my bottom drawer were I kept crappy clothes that I never wore. He had shredded some and made a little nest there. Little dude straight up made himself a holiday home. 😆
CEO pay.
I could live with it, if they were responsible for their decisions, but not even that is given.
Not everything has to be normalized and not everything has to be accepted, despite there being a strong culture of acceptance. As it leads to a culture that doesn’t give things critical thought. Normalizing everything essentially starts to desensitize the core issues that might tie in with a particular topic.
The fact that so many people live on the streets when empty housing exists. I don’t care what just world fallacy people want to peddle, that s**t is ghoulish and inhumane.
If there are empty homes, there shouldn’t be homeless people.
We should all be like Finland in this matter. Housing before job
In North America - tipping culture . It’s gotten out of hand.
Dumping unwanted Cats off in "the country" because some farmer will take them in. No, no they won't. Farmers already have enough Cats and the existing population will typically drive off outsiders, so now you have a housecat with no survival skills in the middle of nowhere being easy prey for Coyotes, Foxes, Owls, or farm Dogs. And that's if they don't get hit by a car like happens to a great many abandoned pets.
There are two "outside" cats in my neighborhood that are fed and "owned" by my neighbors. Those cats kill many wild birds. I find many baby birds dead around our bird feeders due to these cats. If you like cats, keep them inside!
Whatever the case, normalizing stuff has to be done right. It has to be purposeful, well paced, critical and truly sending a message of what the society or the culture stands for. And even if something looks good on paper, in the long run, it can turn into something that was not intended. Sometimes, that seems like a natural course of things, but it doesn’t mean there should be a tolerance just because.
Driving drunk/high among teens. People my age (18) often mention it in passing like it’s no big deal, then I’m treated like a wet blanket for making a thing out of it. No, Kevin, you don’t “drive better high” you’re just selfish.
Doctors dismissing severe period symptoms because it’s ‘normal’ —> if you are vomiting, cannot move from pain and passing out from blood loss they don’t rly care and usually just give you a slightly better pain medicine like naproxen which does f**k all and tell you to get over yourself. If you had these symptoms and did not have periods you’d be admitted into hospital on the spot.
Or, if MEN had those sorts of periods (or just periods, full stop!) you can bet your bottom dollar that the very, very best doctors and scientists would be employed day and night, 7 days a week, 365 and a quarter days of the year, to find a solution to these problems, and hell, even find a way to eliminate even the *need* to have periods in the first place, without impacting their ability to procreate! AND, all necessary personal hygiene products associated with menstrual cycles would be FREE! (as would all birth control products!) [*blows raspberry at all those who thinks painful periods are "normal"!]
Expecting people to be contactable 24/7 and acting like someone is rude if they don’t respond relatively promptly. Back when the main form of contact was calls, it was deemed relatively normal for people to not answer as they were busy or not home, therefore it was so much easier to switch off and enjoy other things. Now it’s expected that people are pretty much connected to everyone all the time and if you try to disconnect from that a bit it can almost get you socially ostracised. You can relate it to workplaces as well and the rise of employers basically expecting workers to be contactable 24/7.
Everyone has a choice, silence your calls overnight and do not answer your phone if you do not wish to. WHEN it's a work call DO NOT ANSWER IT in your own time. You are are not paid 24/7....
So, what are your thoughts on any of this? Have any norms in mind that were normalized even though they shouldn’t have? Share your ideas, takes and stories in the comment section below!
And if this isn’t enough, jumping into a rabbit hole on Bored Panda might just be a pleasant way to spend the evening.
Having to send your kids to a daycare to be raised by strangers for such a crucial chapter of their development because living is unaffordable on one salary.
If those strangers are caring and love working with children, it does not matter. In fact a study of adults who grew up in orphanages mostly found them to be well adjusted adults who reported receiving good care in the orphanage. Humans do not remember most of their early years unless some trauma occurs. Bad parents are more often the cause of bad traumas than day care center workers.
The amount of pollution that the US military and oil companies commit. there are entire chunks of land that have been rendered uninhabitable by them.
War
I'm going to pick up a gun go next door and take the neighbors stuff= Obvious psyco
We're all going to pick up a gun, go next door, and take the neighbors stuff= Well as long as you're all wearing the same outfit its fine!
The amount of sugar we consume and give our kids.
I remember reading a research study that said that sugar triggers the dopamine levels in the brain in a similar way that heroin does and that is why it’s so addictive and hard to quit. I don’t know if this study has been debunked or not but it would make sense.
South Africa specific answer - having your electricity switched off for several hours a day. This can range from 2 to 8 hours a day. We just organise our lives around it like it isn't a thing cause we've been doing it for 16 years now.
Thank you for this answer!! As a South African myself I am so happy that others around the world know about this issue.
Viral Cringe/Freakout videos, especially of minors.
I was a super weird kid, and thank god I grew up before social media and smartphones were a thing. I don't know how I'd ever get over my spazziest moments being seen and ridiculed by millions of people.
So they censor "drúg" but not "spaz"? Spaz is a derogatory word used against people with cerebral palsy (spastics).
Zero expectations of privacy. We're all expected to behave like we could be recorded at any time and we wonder why everyone has anxiety now.
The negative consequences of mass surveillance are empirically proven (for a good example read "The social consequences of a mass surveillance measure: What happens when we become the ‘others’?" by Marie-Helen Maras) but these consequences are ignored so deliberately that I am beginning to believe they are desired.
Drinking alcohol.
If alcohol was discovered today, it would be classified as a dangerous d**g that negatively affects multiple organs, not to mention it can lead to addiction. It would probably be illigal to consume in many countries.
Alcohol withdrawal can kill an addict. Not something that can be said of many other d***s. J-shaped risk curve though.
Posting pictures of babies/kids on social media.
I'm OK with this as long as it's with your family/close friends only. My niece and nephew each have an Instagram account where my SIL has been posting pics since they were babies. They're not public accounts though - only family and friends are allowed access. I love it because they don't live locally and I get to see cute pics of what they're up to. Same with Facebook. My account is private. I don't get people who allow complete strangers to see whatever they post.
Note: this post originally had 48 images. It’s been shortened to the top 40 images based on user votes.
which ones?? A lot of them are in other countries as well
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Subjecting babies to medically unnecessary surgical removal of part of their genitalia, because “god says” or “it’s what you do”.
Bored Panda Staff: "Let's repost this list every week. It's easier than finding new content."
which ones?? A lot of them are in other countries as well
Load More Replies... Subjecting babies to medically unnecessary surgical removal of part of their genitalia, because “god says” or “it’s what you do”.
Bored Panda Staff: "Let's repost this list every week. It's easier than finding new content."
