A good man is not to be confused with a nice guy. He’s genuinely kind and caring. He is polite to everyone not because he wants a reward. He’s just a decent human being.
The nice guy is a totally different breed. His dating profile and social media feeds might be full of phrases about how a woman should be treated, but he’s only advertising. This male only portrays himself to be gentle, compassionate, sensitive, and vulnerable. In reality, he simply hopes that this facade will make a woman start a romantic or sexual relationship with him.
However, women have a strong intuition about things like this. If they meet a nice guy, they can usually tell there’s something off. And they’ll run away from him. Or, in this case, give him a fake number.
When Keegan texted Sandra, he thought his nice guy act worked. However, the person he contacted wasn’t Sandra and Keegan was absolutely crushed. So he took it out on that random stranger.
Good job, Sandra. Obviously, you did the right thing by getting rid of him.
Image credits: mrssherlockbones
Counsellor & Psychotherapist Tati Silva agreed to share her thoughts on the nice guy syndrome with Bored Panda. “A man that is physically less attractive tends to compensate by being nice to be able to connect to people. They will overcompensate with over-the-top behaviors. The ‘nice guy’ will use all the tools to charm the person they are interested in. However, if it is not replicated, the ‘nice guy’s’ true colors come to light.”
“According to Dr. Glover, a ‘nice guy’ has a sinister side. In the mind of the ‘nice guy’, the person he is pursuing should repay his action by becoming his girlfriend or boyfriend, for him that is how these things work. The ‘nice guy’ will lash out if he does not get what he wants, which might be indirectly influenced by misogynistic entitlement complexes.”
Silva said that misogyny occurs unconsciously, connecting with hatred that forms early in life, often as a result of a trauma involving a female figure they trusted. Of course, there are exceptions. “This doesn’t apply to everyone, there are genuinely nice guys and girls out there. That will be ok to be put in a friend-zone, respecting your opinion. They won’t expect anything back.”
But the ‘nice guy’ we’re talking about will place themselves as a victim to get what they want. That’s because they are nice, so they deserve a chance. At least in their mind. “They evoke notions of fairness when they complain about not receiving the attention they seek.”
“For all the masked ‘nice guys’ out there, it is ok to be vulnerable, be yourself with the person that you would like to date, it might take you a few steps further in your relationship instead of a complete shutdown,” Silva added. “People have the right to say no and owe nothing in return. True kindness is given without expecting nothing in return.”
Sorry, Keegan, but it looks like calling yourself a nice guy doesn’t necessarily make you nice. Nor does cussing people out.