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121
Lady Gets Pressured By Ex’s New Wife Wanting Full Control Over Her Kids, Court Takes Mom’s Side
Statistics are merciless and inexorable—no matter how sincerely we swear eternal love at the altar, the divorce rate nowadays is 2.5 per 1,000 population. That’s lower than a quarter of a century ago, but still a hell of a lot. And where there are divorces, there are remarriages and, of course, the problem of stepmothers and stepfathers to kids.
Children often have conflicts with step-parents, and there are many studies explaining this from a psychological point of view. However, there are also reverse cases, when, for example, a stepmother tries so hard to become a “true, decent mom” for the kids and perceives their biological mom as a “problem.” This happened in a situation with user u/InternationalTaro233, the author of today’s tale.
More info: Reddit
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The author of the post is a mom of 2 sons, who she’s co-parenting with her ex-partner
Image credits: Kaboompics.com / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The ex-spouses stayed on good terms but everything changed when the man re-married a few years ago
Image credits: InternationalTaro233
Image credits: Alex Green / Pexels (not the actual photo)
That lady always tried to push the author out of her kids’ lives, trying to impose herself as their “true mom”
Image credits: InternationalTaro233
Image credits: Sora Shimazaki / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The parents ended up in court several times over this—and each time, the judge sided with the boys’ real mom
Image credits: InternationalTaro233
Image credits: Kaboompics.com / Pexels (not the actual photo)
It turned out that the new wife couldn’t have her own biological kids, and they were rejected for adoption—so the issues went on
Image credits: InternationalTaro233
Recently, after having a spat with the husband, the lady showed up at the author’s place, seeking her compassion—but was just brushed off
So, the Original Poster (OP) is now 33 years old, and seven years ago, she split up with her partner, leaving their two sons—now 11 and 9 years old—in a co-parenting situation. The author claims that they split up peacefully, and for the first few years, they were on good terms, sharing the responsibilities of raising their kids. Until a few years ago, when the man found himself a new wife…
This woman, as it turned out, was overly zealous in her role as a stepmom to the children, always trying to push our heroine out of the upbringing process. She tried to impose herself on the boys as “their true mom,” which, of course, they didn’t like—and she took any contact between the original poster and her sons to heart.
The case even went to court several times—and each time, despite the woman’s desperate attempts to present herself as the only real mom, the judge invariably upheld the verdict in favor of the OP. Things got even worse when it turned out that the new wife couldn’t have her own biological children, and they were rejected for adoption. The OP probably thinks that the spouses began having arguments over this.
So, one day, this lady went to our heroine’s house and, upset, literally demanded some compassion from her. But, of course, she didn’t get what she was looking for. The author didn’t want to support the person who had been consistently making her life miserable for years, so she simply rolled her eyes at her and left, leaving the lady to shower her with insults outside.
However, after some time, our heroine’s ex called her and said that she owes his wife an apology for rolling her eyes at her, and in general, in his personal opinion, she should grow up a little. The author, however, completely disagreed with this—so she simply decided to seek support online.
Image credits: noxos / Freepik (not the actual photo)
“Apparently, this woman felt insecure over her possible issues with having her own biological children – and tried to compensate for this by imposing herself as a mother on her stepkids,” says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, who Bored Panda asked for a comment here. “It’s not surprising that nothing good came of it.”
“This attitude looks like an obsession, and one should distinguish between simply being a decent stepmom and trying to replace a real mom for the kids. And the subsequent events—when this woman tried to find sympathy from the person she had been pestering for so long—this is only confirmation that the problem is precisely in her emotional state.”
“I think it’s worth advising this woman to undergo therapy, to understand her own problems, what’s in her own head—and then try to solve subsequent issues. In any case, I do think it was not for nothing that the guardianship authorities rejected this couple’s adoption papers…” Irina ponders.
Commenters also supported the OP, assuring her that she had done the right thing all along by defending her sons and her parenthood. And that there can be no compassion for someone trying to push her out of her own kids’ lives. Some folks even felt it was necessary to get the police involved. “I think you need a no contact order against her,” someone added. And do you, our dear readers, agree with this?
People in the comments supported our heroine, also urging her to get a no-contact order against the lady
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What do you think ?
Janelle Collard 10 months ago
"Hello? Delulu Land? We have your Queen. Can you *please* come get her?"
Janelle Collard 10 months ago
Wonder if OP can get a Restraining Order against ex's 2nd wife. 🤔 Barring that, is there an actual Court Order stating that all matters to do with the kids are between OP + her ex ONLY?
LakotaWolf (she/her) 10 months ago
I'm not sure if there's a court order about it, but OP did say "The second time there was a documented incident of her saying she was the kids real mom in front of them and the judge restricted certain things she can do. She can't do drop offs of the kids and she can't show up to appointments or school meetings that require both parents." - so I hope that means that daddy's wife can't actually do anything other than literally be around the kids and do basic parenting when the kids are with their dad.
Load More Replies...
Mike F 10 months ago
The guy wants OP to apologize for rolling her eyes, at a kook, who showed up (probably uninvited) to whine about her situation. A situated she created for herself (as far as the kids are concerned). She needs more help than a thru the door convo will provide. The ex needs to have a come-to-Jesus for allowing this to progress this far. She sounds like she's borderline unhinged and needs real help, not a "I'm sorry I rolled my eyes at you when you were freaking out on my porch" kind of help. Jeez.
SheamusFanFrom1987 10 months ago
OP, keep rollin' rollin' rollin' those eyes! Step-monster thinks she can try to get OP out of the picture and come back demanding sympathy when it fails. OP ought to send all communications to a lawyer and see what authoritative action follows. Hell, if it's enough for full-custody and a restraining order(probably unlikely but if it persists and the kids don't like her, who knows?), I'd say go for it. Both the step-monster and the spineless excuse of an ex are the type that should have nothing to do with kids for good reason and it absolutely shows!!! >:-(
KrazyChiMama 10 months ago
Oh my goodness I don’t even know where to start with this! As a stepmother this is appalling! This woman knows she’s not their mother she’s wishful thinking at best. Shame on her for the damage she’s doing to those boys she claims to love as her own! The first thing I did was swallow my pride and make peace with my husbands ex for the sake of the kids. We coparented together the three of us. I was legally on the list as an emergency contact at the school and pediatricians office. It can be done if everyone grows up and acts like adults. Now the three of us are grandparents! :)
Betsy S 10 months ago
I did the same. Always make friends (or polite acquaintances at the very least) with the birth parent. It makes your life SO much easier.
Load More Replies...
zims 10 months ago
It's clear that "mother" is a huge part of this woman's identity, so if the kids she had access to aren't playing along, of course she'll look for other avenues. I'd suspect that would be a reason to be rejected for adopting, if they think you'll use the new kid as a replacement and start neglecting or pushing out the kids already living with you.
brandyy17 10 months ago
as someone who looked into adoption incase my epilepsy does indeed stop me from having kids in the end i can tell u that its not exactly difficult to pass the adoption test. however if u have a bad attitude or disagree to any terms u get instantly rejected. both parents need to agree. if the ex agreed and she didnt its an instant reject. another instant reject is lack of funds to care for child but i doubt thats the case here
Janelle Collard 10 months ago
"Hello? Delulu Land? We have your Queen. Can you *please* come get her?"
Janelle Collard 10 months ago
Wonder if OP can get a Restraining Order against ex's 2nd wife. 🤔 Barring that, is there an actual Court Order stating that all matters to do with the kids are between OP + her ex ONLY?
LakotaWolf (she/her) 10 months ago
I'm not sure if there's a court order about it, but OP did say "The second time there was a documented incident of her saying she was the kids real mom in front of them and the judge restricted certain things she can do. She can't do drop offs of the kids and she can't show up to appointments or school meetings that require both parents." - so I hope that means that daddy's wife can't actually do anything other than literally be around the kids and do basic parenting when the kids are with their dad.
Load More Replies... Mike F 10 months ago
The guy wants OP to apologize for rolling her eyes, at a kook, who showed up (probably uninvited) to whine about her situation. A situated she created for herself (as far as the kids are concerned). She needs more help than a thru the door convo will provide. The ex needs to have a come-to-Jesus for allowing this to progress this far. She sounds like she's borderline unhinged and needs real help, not a "I'm sorry I rolled my eyes at you when you were freaking out on my porch" kind of help. Jeez.
SheamusFanFrom1987 10 months ago
OP, keep rollin' rollin' rollin' those eyes! Step-monster thinks she can try to get OP out of the picture and come back demanding sympathy when it fails. OP ought to send all communications to a lawyer and see what authoritative action follows. Hell, if it's enough for full-custody and a restraining order(probably unlikely but if it persists and the kids don't like her, who knows?), I'd say go for it. Both the step-monster and the spineless excuse of an ex are the type that should have nothing to do with kids for good reason and it absolutely shows!!! >:-(
KrazyChiMama 10 months ago
Oh my goodness I don’t even know where to start with this! As a stepmother this is appalling! This woman knows she’s not their mother she’s wishful thinking at best. Shame on her for the damage she’s doing to those boys she claims to love as her own! The first thing I did was swallow my pride and make peace with my husbands ex for the sake of the kids. We coparented together the three of us. I was legally on the list as an emergency contact at the school and pediatricians office. It can be done if everyone grows up and acts like adults. Now the three of us are grandparents! :)
Betsy S 10 months ago
I did the same. Always make friends (or polite acquaintances at the very least) with the birth parent. It makes your life SO much easier.
Load More Replies... zims 10 months ago
It's clear that "mother" is a huge part of this woman's identity, so if the kids she had access to aren't playing along, of course she'll look for other avenues. I'd suspect that would be a reason to be rejected for adopting, if they think you'll use the new kid as a replacement and start neglecting or pushing out the kids already living with you.
brandyy17 10 months ago
as someone who looked into adoption incase my epilepsy does indeed stop me from having kids in the end i can tell u that its not exactly difficult to pass the adoption test. however if u have a bad attitude or disagree to any terms u get instantly rejected. both parents need to agree. if the ex agreed and she didnt its an instant reject. another instant reject is lack of funds to care for child but i doubt thats the case here
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