“This Is Likely To Look Ridiculous”: Petty Woman Complains About Neighbor’s Bush, Demands They Rip It Out Or She Will Put A Fence Around Her Front Drive
Even the most beautiful house can turn into a headache if you live next door to the wrong kind of people. So let’s be honest: annoying neighbors are every homeowner’s nightmare. Whether they feel the need to declare unwanted opinions on your lifestyle or complain about the tiniest details in your front yard, pesky neighbors are always difficult to cope with. And if they have a bad attitude, finding a solution and setting healthy boundaries is next to impossible.
This is the situation one woman recently found herself in. As shared in her post on Mumsnet, it all started when her neighbor kept making a fuss about a bush in the user’s garden — and a handful of leaves that ended up in her driveway. At first glance, this seems like a minor issue. But it was enough for the lady to create a series of demands that placed the couple in the middle of a silly garden war.
After getting fed up with the lady’s behavior, the woman asked for perspective on whether they should “let her win” or challenge her ridiculous request. Scroll down to read the story in full, as well as how the community reacted. Let us know what you think the best course of action for this situation is, and be sure to weigh in on the discussion in the comments!
Recently, a woman shared how her neighbor kept complaining about “a handful” of leaves from a bush in her driveway
Image credits: F. D. Richards (not the actual photo)
Feeling sick and tired of this behavior, she turned to the internet for advice
Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)
Image credits: ShedThirtySeven
It’s easy to understand the lady’s desire to live as comfortably as possible on her own land. But trying to control your neighbors is never the answer. These behaviors can lead to long-lasting arguments about minor issues that shouldn’t be a problem at all. They can especially take a toll on the residents if they consistently give in to their neighbor’s harmful repeated patterns. As the woman explained in her post, the lady always seems to find something to obsess over and create tensions between her and the people living in close proximity to her. But the more alarming issue is that she doesn’t even acknowledge it.
After reading the story, people immediately jumped to the comment section to offer advice. Some users suggested responding to the lady’s pettiness in an equally petty way — to leave the bush where it is or even put more plants nearby to irritate the lady. Some mentioned the woman overcomplicates things and further hurts the relationship. And others said that no matter what the couple decides, it won’t ever be enough for the neighbor, so they might as well ignore her complaints.
This is just another example proving tensions and disputes between neighbors are inevitable. But when your neighbor showcases signs of a controlling personality, it’s a whole other level of complicated. According to WebMD, controlling people usually want to have a say in other people’s lives. They may do this out of anxiety or a personality disorder because they worry things may go wrong if they don’t maintain control. Or they may opt for these behaviors to assert dominance. Whatever the cause, crossing paths with them can be demanding, so it’s best to know the signs to look out for and the ways of dealing with them.
One of the most evident signs of controlling behavior is that they insist everyone do things their way. Even on small issues that refer to their personal choice, such as having problems with a bush growing on another person’s property. Another hint is that they are incapable of accepting blame. “Even when their actions are clearly the issue, they will find some way to blame you for what went wrong. It may be as petty as accusing you of distracting them when they made a mistake.”
When it comes to dealing with controlling people, WebMD suggests determining the severity of the behavior and then acting accordingly. “If the controlling behavior is mild, it can help to discuss it with the offender. You can tell them how their behavior makes you feel, using ‘I’ statements to avoid sounding like you’re blaming them. A sentence that begins with, ‘I feel,’ will likely be better received than one that starts with, ‘You always.’ You will probably also need to set clear boundaries to see a change.”
The woman provided more details about the story and answered some questions in the comments
As Dr. Jesse Matthews, a licensed clinical psychologist based in Chester Springs, PA, told Bored Panda in an earlier interview, we will all encounter people who want to take advantage of us, and we don’t always see eye-to-eye with our neighbors. But in most cases, simply talking peacefully to one another is the best way to solve a problem.
“You can bring it to their attention if you think it’s important to let them know you see it or if you want to give them the opportunity to change. Or, if you would rather not confront them, you might simply back away from the relationship, responding less frequently to their calls or texts, not reaching out to them, or being ‘busy’,” he explained some of the ways of dealing with these situations, adding that it also helps to set healthy yet firm boundaries.
When it comes to conflicts between neighbors, Dr. Matthews said they typically emerge because one household violates another’s ability to enjoy their lifestyle, like being noisy late at night. “Beyond that, however, there are neighbors who are jealous of others, who don’t like people for various reasons, or some other things they are doing might bother them,” he noted. “It could be a matter of them not minding their own business, which we see a lot of these days with so many ‘Karen’ videos online.”
If you’re wondering about solutions to these disputes, it’s important to be respectful so everyone can live peacefully. But at the same time, “you also need to distinguish between what are valid complaints and what is just someone not minding their own business.”
“If a conflict arises, you should always try to be tactful and respectful, trying your best to keep any problems to a minimum. But you may also need to be assertive and set or hold boundaries with neighbors. If you believe they are asking too much or concerning themselves with something they shouldn’t, don’t be afraid to let them know. And the more you can resolve conflicts on your own the better,” Dr. Matthews concluded.
Readers were quick to share their reactions to the situation, here’s what they had to say
291Kviews
Share on FacebookBecause of the caption "neighbor obsesses over this woman's bush" I had expected a very different kind of article.
Make sure you post NO Trespassing signs so anyone she tries to send into your yard realizes it's YOUR yard, not hers and they shouldn't enter without permission. If she's this upset about a few leaves & you acquiesce on the issue, think how much worse it will be next time. I definitely wouldn't take the bush out. Might think about cameras, too
I lived across the street from a nutter about leaves. She would go through all the leaves that would fall on her land and those from the neighbor's tree would be collected and put on the other side of the fence. We made a drinking game out of watching her.
Ugh, what an awful place to live in,. Someone upset over leaves (maybe she needs to move to a sterile, concrete apartment block), having to ask permission to put up fences. I’m assuming that would be asking permission from a HOA? (The don’t exist where I live, thank goodness, and council can’t tell us how high a fence can or can’t be.
Good lord, does this creep have nothing better to do with her time?? (Apparently not).
First check if fences are allowed at the front in your area, if they aren't then her threat is baseless. Then get out your home survey and make sure where the property line really is, mark it with a chalk string if possible. Then show it to your neighbor and tell her, any fence she puts in has to be on her side of the line only, and no her workmen can't go on your property to install it, that's trespassing, they have to work from her land. Then put a no trespassing sign right on the property line facing her house. The second she steps over the line yell "no trespassing, get off my land". If she disputes it, tell her to hire a surveyor and get him out there to meet your surveyor. Chances are, she will back off putting up a fence once you make her incur surveyor's fees. A lot of time the property line is not where people assume it to be, but a foot or more over, so it's important to make sure any fence she installs isn't on your side of the property line.
I had a neighbor like that. Even pruned the crape myrtles in my yard without asking. Perhaps if you trimmed up the bush a bit, she'd calm down. My neighbor complained that I didn't maintain my yard, and I responded there are laws against trespassing. He never got on my property again.
I seriously hope they don't go for the fence, the neighbor will expect them to foot half the bill for it, plus maintenance of it.
I had a tree I hated in my backyard. I was planning on getting it removed, but hadn't gotten enough in the budget yet. Then a neighbor came over telling me I "had" to remove it. Leaves were getting in her yard, and she was calling the city. She did, the city said to bad, and that tree was never removed out of spite, until she moved away 5 years later.
We have a neighbor who sweeps her lawn. Also her lawn guys blow the clippings toward the lawns of whoever is not home.
Escalating issues with anyone only serves to give you more headaches in the future. If you can find a peaceable way out, take it. Over time this tends to soften a difficult person's behavior rather than exacerbate it. If the Bush was due to be removed anyway, it isn't pandering. If the neighbor wants to take their own steps to resolve what they see as the issue, being a fence or otherwise, let them. Always speak to contractors working on or near your property about your expextations regarding potential damage. Put up a temporary construction fence to protect your property while they are working. In the long run it will always serve you to be the better person and not to return problematic behavior in kind. We all reap what we sow.
There's a point where you can say "I am considering you a hostile person, if you have an issue call the police. I do not want to talk to you. If you try to talk to me, I WILL call the police about harassment." Then let her get herself in trouble, and pay for a wall. Let her spend all of her money and laugh.
You want to remove the bush but not let her win? Here's how: Tell her to make sure ghe fence is on HER side; after irs built remove the bush. "Oh, we were planning on removing that MONTHS ago."
How totally petty and immature some people can be. I'm so glad I live in a neighbourhood where everyone is friendly, but not intrusive. I live a very "forested" area, where big trees are everywhere, so my poor little car is always covered in either deciduous leaves or pine needles! But annoying as it is, I'd rather that than lose our beautiful forested neighbourhood trees. It's my problem because I don't park in my garage!
Just prune the bush and ignore her. Or, as some one else suggested, let her put up an expensive fence, then cut the bush. Once the fence is up, add more bushes on your side to hide her ugly fence . I am also petty.
Put up a security camera and a no trespassing sign, check the deeds, HOA, planning permission for fence requirements, and consider installing your own fence at the property line. A low fence you choose may be better than a high fence the neighbour chooses. Check local requirements for overhanging branches to make sure you know your rights, provide her a copy, and point out that you can plant something deciduous if you want to, so stop harassing you about the bush.
I think I would build an approximate 4 ft. X 4ft. X 6 ft. fence around the tree. That way you get to keep your tree, the leaves stay under the tree and she can look over a the stupid fence she caused a need for.
If your bush debris is going into her drive, your gardeners Should blow it off her property. Not her bush, it shouldn't be her problem to clean up after. When she mentioned it, you could have be a cordial neighbor & mention you've been thinking about taking it out; that you'll discuss it w/ your s.o. & get back to her. You sound equally as petty as she sounds high strung. I think a fence would be best for the both of you. In California USA we call them "Good Neighbor Fence(s)" because it maintains boundaries between the properties (& adds privacy).
Because of the caption "neighbor obsesses over this woman's bush" I had expected a very different kind of article.
Make sure you post NO Trespassing signs so anyone she tries to send into your yard realizes it's YOUR yard, not hers and they shouldn't enter without permission. If she's this upset about a few leaves & you acquiesce on the issue, think how much worse it will be next time. I definitely wouldn't take the bush out. Might think about cameras, too
I lived across the street from a nutter about leaves. She would go through all the leaves that would fall on her land and those from the neighbor's tree would be collected and put on the other side of the fence. We made a drinking game out of watching her.
Ugh, what an awful place to live in,. Someone upset over leaves (maybe she needs to move to a sterile, concrete apartment block), having to ask permission to put up fences. I’m assuming that would be asking permission from a HOA? (The don’t exist where I live, thank goodness, and council can’t tell us how high a fence can or can’t be.
Good lord, does this creep have nothing better to do with her time?? (Apparently not).
First check if fences are allowed at the front in your area, if they aren't then her threat is baseless. Then get out your home survey and make sure where the property line really is, mark it with a chalk string if possible. Then show it to your neighbor and tell her, any fence she puts in has to be on her side of the line only, and no her workmen can't go on your property to install it, that's trespassing, they have to work from her land. Then put a no trespassing sign right on the property line facing her house. The second she steps over the line yell "no trespassing, get off my land". If she disputes it, tell her to hire a surveyor and get him out there to meet your surveyor. Chances are, she will back off putting up a fence once you make her incur surveyor's fees. A lot of time the property line is not where people assume it to be, but a foot or more over, so it's important to make sure any fence she installs isn't on your side of the property line.
I had a neighbor like that. Even pruned the crape myrtles in my yard without asking. Perhaps if you trimmed up the bush a bit, she'd calm down. My neighbor complained that I didn't maintain my yard, and I responded there are laws against trespassing. He never got on my property again.
I seriously hope they don't go for the fence, the neighbor will expect them to foot half the bill for it, plus maintenance of it.
I had a tree I hated in my backyard. I was planning on getting it removed, but hadn't gotten enough in the budget yet. Then a neighbor came over telling me I "had" to remove it. Leaves were getting in her yard, and she was calling the city. She did, the city said to bad, and that tree was never removed out of spite, until she moved away 5 years later.
We have a neighbor who sweeps her lawn. Also her lawn guys blow the clippings toward the lawns of whoever is not home.
Escalating issues with anyone only serves to give you more headaches in the future. If you can find a peaceable way out, take it. Over time this tends to soften a difficult person's behavior rather than exacerbate it. If the Bush was due to be removed anyway, it isn't pandering. If the neighbor wants to take their own steps to resolve what they see as the issue, being a fence or otherwise, let them. Always speak to contractors working on or near your property about your expextations regarding potential damage. Put up a temporary construction fence to protect your property while they are working. In the long run it will always serve you to be the better person and not to return problematic behavior in kind. We all reap what we sow.
There's a point where you can say "I am considering you a hostile person, if you have an issue call the police. I do not want to talk to you. If you try to talk to me, I WILL call the police about harassment." Then let her get herself in trouble, and pay for a wall. Let her spend all of her money and laugh.
You want to remove the bush but not let her win? Here's how: Tell her to make sure ghe fence is on HER side; after irs built remove the bush. "Oh, we were planning on removing that MONTHS ago."
How totally petty and immature some people can be. I'm so glad I live in a neighbourhood where everyone is friendly, but not intrusive. I live a very "forested" area, where big trees are everywhere, so my poor little car is always covered in either deciduous leaves or pine needles! But annoying as it is, I'd rather that than lose our beautiful forested neighbourhood trees. It's my problem because I don't park in my garage!
Just prune the bush and ignore her. Or, as some one else suggested, let her put up an expensive fence, then cut the bush. Once the fence is up, add more bushes on your side to hide her ugly fence . I am also petty.
Put up a security camera and a no trespassing sign, check the deeds, HOA, planning permission for fence requirements, and consider installing your own fence at the property line. A low fence you choose may be better than a high fence the neighbour chooses. Check local requirements for overhanging branches to make sure you know your rights, provide her a copy, and point out that you can plant something deciduous if you want to, so stop harassing you about the bush.
I think I would build an approximate 4 ft. X 4ft. X 6 ft. fence around the tree. That way you get to keep your tree, the leaves stay under the tree and she can look over a the stupid fence she caused a need for.
If your bush debris is going into her drive, your gardeners Should blow it off her property. Not her bush, it shouldn't be her problem to clean up after. When she mentioned it, you could have be a cordial neighbor & mention you've been thinking about taking it out; that you'll discuss it w/ your s.o. & get back to her. You sound equally as petty as she sounds high strung. I think a fence would be best for the both of you. In California USA we call them "Good Neighbor Fence(s)" because it maintains boundaries between the properties (& adds privacy).
























81
31