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73
Woman Declares War On Noisy Toddler, Calls CPS, Loses Everything But Her Own Echoing Silence
Interview With ExpertWhen you live in an apartment building, there are bound to be some clashes with your neighbors, be it over parking, trash disposal, or, as was the case for Reddit user Osoimopt, noise.
A family moved in above the woman, and she claimed she tried to be understanding at first, but the child’s tantrums had become so loud and frequent that she could no longer work.
Not knowing what to do, the Redditor called the authorities to investigate. However, she told the “Am I the [Jerk]?” community that it only made things worse, and now she is unsure if it was even the right move. So, she wants them to help her make sense of the situation.
RELATED:
This woman said she could no longer work from home because her neighbor’s toddler was having too many tantrums
Image credits: yanadjana / envato (not the actual photo)
However, it sounds like neither the police nor child protective services thought her concerns were reasonable
Image credits: Kindel Media / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: osoimopt
Vicki Broadbent of Honest Mum thinks the woman has been completely unreasonable
Image credits: Honest Mum
We showed this story to our parenting expert Vicki Broadbent and asked her to tell us more about temper tantrums.
Vicki Broadbent, who is a writer, director, broadcaster, and founder of the family blog Honest Mum, has three kids of her own, so she knows all about them.
“It is normal, common, and formative behavior for toddlers and young children to have tantrums,” Broadbent told Bored Panda. “They cannot regulate their emotions and tantruming is a way of expressing themselves.”
Temper tantrums range from whining and crying to screaming, kicking, hitting, and breath-holding. They’re equally common among boys and girls and usually happen between the ages of 1 to 3.
The specifics depend on the child: some kids may have tantrums often, and others have them rarely, but generally, tantrums are common during the second year of life (when language skills are developing) because toddlers can’t always say what they want or need—and because words describing feelings are more complicated and will develop later, a frustrating experience may cause a tantrum. But, as language skills improve, tantrums tend to decrease.
“Whilst parents can comfort and distract the child, they are not magicians and cannot stop tantrums nor should they want to,” Vicki Broadbent, author of The Working Mom: Your Guide to Surviving and Thriving at Work and at Home, said. “Tantrums communicate pain or frustration at being unable to do something, hunger, thirst, and overtiredness, so we as parents can respond to their cues. The neighbor should wear noise-cancelling headphones or consider moving to a remote island where birds, animals, and humans won’t bother her! Not sure where that is though!”
Neighbors usually resolve their conflicts without involving the authorities
Image credits: Gabriel Ponton / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Research shows that when neighbor vs. neighbor conflicts arise, people:
- Discussed issues personally with their neighbor 49%;
- Called police 27%;
- Notified the neighborhood or owners association 15%;
- Sent a letter, note, or email 11%;
- Went to court 4%;
- Went to mediation 4%;
- Took another action 4%;
- Took no action 14%
While the Redditor said she did try to talk to the mother, it’s unclear how far their conversations progressed.
Sasha Philip, who practiced civil litigation before becoming a certified professional mediator and arbitrator, highlights that taking calm, measured steps to resolve conflicts with your neighbors can lead to greater understanding and harmony on the block.
And it’s amazing how effective words can be. “I’ve had neighbors who’ve contacted me and said, you know, I thought my neighbor was trying to [exterminate] my tree. And then we had a conversation in mediation, and now we can walk to each other’s houses and ask for a cup of sugar. And oh, my goodness, those are the moments that you live for as a mediator … And they happen. They happen, and it’s not that uncommon,” Philip explains.
That is also reflected in the numbers. Usually, people find common ground with their neighbors because when there’s a conflict, it:
- Is mutually settled 40%;
- Resolves itself 35% (neighbor moved, behavior stopped, etc.);
- Is solved by an outside party 11% (police, court, association, etc.);
- Remains unresolved 14%.
At the end of the day, “parents must understand they should not feel guilt nor shame if their children tantrum, especially in public,” Vicki Broadbent said. “If others punish you with judgemental looks or comments, ignore or smile politely, not letting them bother you. Most often those judgmental strangers simply cannot remember their own children tantruming or themselves doing so.”
“Sometimes no amount of comfort can help to ease a child’s tantrums and they simply need to shout it out until they calm down. Often distracting them with a game, book, or toy is a great way to help them forget whatever it is they’re upset about,” the mom added.
“As they become older, you can explain to them in more detail why they can’t have X or Y, or that they need to eat or sleep. Practising mindful exercises like deep breathing from a young age can help them learn to self-soothe.”
“Please remember, however, that children cannot reason until the age of 5-7, depending on the individual!” the Vicki highlighted.
People have been saying the woman was way out of line
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What do you think ?
Hey hey hey 1 year ago
This time around, the YTAers are the one with sense while the NTAers are off their rockers.
Harper 1 year ago
Do you now ealize that calling CPS over a toddlers tantrum is the ADULT equivalent of a TANTRUM?!
Crystalwitch60 1 year ago
It really is lol in uk we call em nimbys not in my back yard 😂oh and entitled asholes lol
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ToGo 1 year ago
If this was simply about concern over the consistent tantrums, I couldn't blame someone who has no experience of kids being worried enough to call CPS - if something was actually going on and they didn't call, they'd be the bad guy for not reporting. HOWEVER, the mother made a point to visit the neighbours and let them know the baby has these tantrums, she took the baby outside for a few hours each time she'd get a complaint from OP, this is absolutely not a negligent parent. It's clear as day that OP did in fact take very serious action because she simply didn't like the noise. That's an arsehole move.
Ms.GB 1 year ago (edited)
If they didn't know what's normal for a toddler Google exists! They called CPS who are already overloaded with real cases that don't get enough attention partially because of false and/or malicious reports like this one. That lady is awful.
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Kare Deter 1 year ago
He made the right call hitting the door running and not looking back!
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DrBronxx 1 year ago
Anyone else notice "but they couldn't evict based on a child throwing tantrums"? This woman was really jumping very quickly to trying to get a family EVICTED because a toddler was having a hard time. If this person ever has a child, I bet she will have an overwhelming realisation about her behaviour here.
Fellfromthemoon 1 year ago
I disagree. She will be the most entitled mother ever, rationalizing the truly bad behavior of her future child instead of actual parenting.
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François Bouzigues 1 year ago
It is not the mother´s fault that OP cannot afford a detached house. Flats come with neighbours. Deal with it.
Ben Aziza 1 year ago (edited)
She did not bother to do anything to confirm if it was abuse or not, and she calls cps? The mom was considerate and started by explaining her toddler's behavior to everyone. Every time he cries, and she is informed she takes them outside to comply with the request. BUT sure let us assume she is one of those rare class 1 psychopaths like that momtuber who tortured her kids and somehow kept it secret FOR WAY too long... Let us assume this newcomer is that level of elite psycho... You can't jump to CPS without ACTUALLY HAVING ANYTHING other than the random cries of a child... Some children don't make sound as if they were born in a business suit... Some are just wild reincarnated barbarians who do nothing but channel their warrior spirit everyday... So my guess is simply that this was not about any kind of care for an abused kid. She just decided to be massive a*****e instead of buying noise cancelling headphones... The thing i did 2 days ago a there is a playground next to my new place... It is THAT easy! What would this b***h do if she had to work at a noisy office or factory and not from home? Good on the BF for leaving that nuclear fusion bomb and I hope the mom has a smooth interaction with CPS and be magically blessed to never again encounter a "Karin" of this magnitude...
Nice Beast Ludo 1 year ago
I liked reading about the various tantrums in the comments. "Her socks felt weird. I looked at her too much when she was dancing. I didn't look at her enough when she was dancing." The best and loudest ones my kid had was age 18 mos- 2 and a half every time we left the library. We would stay for hours but she loved it there so much. It would be full body flailing, nuclear screaming and throwing her shoes every time we left. Luckily she was so sweet all of the other times and the librarians loved having her. It just brought back a memory. Miss those days.
Kare Deter 1 year ago
My son, on the spectrum, would have SPECTACULAR meltdown tantrums every time we would walk into one dollar store. Just cross the threshold, hit the floor thrashing & screaming like someone set him on fire. I would have to literally drag him out the door each time - we stopped going. It was the only solution. Never figured out what triggered him.
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Katharina Sei. 1 year ago
I guess that happens if people grow up with less and less children around. They do not know the behaviour of children. 3-4 tantrums a day is pretty normal for a 2 year old.
Weasel Wise 1 year ago
Or just ignorant, self-centered people. I have zero children but I live on Earth and know, and have seen, that 2yo children are the worst. Go to a mall, the grocery store, or basically anywhere a toddler might be and there's a good chance it'll have 5 meltdowns during that one visit. It's basic, world renown common sense. This woman was just upset that she was being disturbed. She STARTED with trying to get them evicted and when she didn't get what she wanted she thought the authorities would do her bidding, using the child crying as an excuse to pretend to be concerned.
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CatWoman1014 1 year ago
I remember having to deal with this years ago, but it was 5 kids, not one. It sounded like I lived under a playground. I complained so many times and sometimes I did have to call the police if the noise was after 10 pm and one occasion it sounded like they were fighting. No parents ever home and they left a 12 year old in charge. It was a nightmare. I ended up moving to a different apartment because living under them was hell. Even though I probably should have called CPS I never did bc I didn’t want to judge the situation. I only knew they were loud, but loud doesn’t equate to neglect or abuse.
UKGrandad 1 year ago
Leaving a 12-yr-old in charge of 4 younger children is absolutely neglect and, in the UK at least, illegal.
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Big Chungus 1 year ago
I wish this wasn't the way it was, but this is soooo normal for toddlers. They literally cry and throw a tantrum over absolutely everything lol my toddler threw himself to the ground because he gave me his toy and was mad he did that. That is why they are called terrible twos and threenagers lol
Hidalgo 1 year ago
Have to guess that a lot more children have been killed because someone didn’t call CPS when they should have than vice versa. A visit from CPS is not “having one’s child taken away.” It is a check.
Joey Jo Jo Shabadoo 1 year ago
Yes! If you work from home, you have to buy some. Apartments are not built to be sound-proof, and they certainly weren't built to be offices. You have to figure out a way to deal with toddlers, dogs, renovations, deliveries, whatever.
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Laura MG 1 year ago
My daughter rarely threw tantrums. The first time was at the mall, startled me, ppl were staring anyway, so I joined in: yelling, waving my arms around, all of it. Now she was so startled that she stopped the tantrum. Only threw one or two after that and got the same performance. Always talked to her about everything, NEVER spanked.
Richard Iachetta 1 year ago
Obviously she doesn't have children. Parents should be able to control a child's tantrum NO experience with child at all
Sharkfin6 1 year ago
I understand toddlers are difficult and the mom neighbors is obviously a single parent, but their rights end at my front door and my ability to live a peaceful live in my own home. I would not have gone so far as to involve authorities over the noise without first trying kindness and offering mom at least the benefit of the doubt and asking if there was anything that could help the tot out. Maybe I would have chipped in for some toys, or DVDs for their entertainment, of course after getting myself a pair of noise-cancelling headphones and trying to sound proof. But again, people need to stop making their own choices every else's problem.
Deborah B 1 year ago
Babies cry. Toddlers throw tantrums. Put on some background noise or get noise-cancelling headphones. Calling CPS because a two-year-old has 3 or 4 tantrums in a day, when theres other reason to suspect abuse or neglect, and a clearly present, concerned and attentive parent, is malicious.
roddy 1 year ago
I've had two kids, one of them autistic and there is no way there were tantrums every day or even every week. I'm a bit weirded out by people saying that several times a day is normal. Frankly, if you are worried about a child, report it. Far better to look like a jerk than let a child suffer if there is abuse going on.
JayWantsACat 1 year ago
YTA. I don't like kids and even I think OP is an ahole. My neighbor's kid has scream-cried at 7:30pm every day since she was born like 5 years ago. It's annoying as hell but SHE'S A KID and I can hear them not tolerating and trying their best to correct it, so it is what it is. It seems like this kid's mom went out of her way to both apologize in advance, gave OP a way to contact her when there's an issue, she took that baby outside each, and hasn't been crappy about being called so much. AND IT'S ONLY BEEN A MONTH, FFS. Would I be annoyed AF, like OP? Absolutely. But the mother is doing what she can. The situation sucks but to call CPS for this is INSANE.
The person leveling NYC 1 year ago
YTA forever. Suuuper entitled redditor. The fact that they actually posted this looking for sympathy…you should know that isn’t coming.
talliloo 1 year ago
grew up living in apartments with three siblings. yes, we were told to be considerate of neighbors but kids are noisy. go back to the office if you want working environment. reminded me of when my husband had just left that day for deployment. we had spent hours in the ER due to my toddler being very ill. was given meds in liquid form. it was night by the time we got home. attempted to give meds w/him screaming/fighting. knock on the door: it was military police responding to screams of child. showed them hospital discharge & meds & told them it tastes terrible but i have to get it in him. but they were free to give it a try. one of them kind of smiled, said his wife usually handled that and went on their way. will admit their showing up settled him down but i was so angry that my neighbor had called instead of coming over (were in a duplex). next day i explained& she apologized. it all worked out in the end because we talked. btw she was expecting her first child.
Dirk Daring 1 year ago
Not just YTA, but I'd apply a word I usually don't like. OP is a person who Can't Understand Normal Thinking
BrownEyedPanda 1 year ago
Plus, she's a Bratty Intolerant Trifling Childish Harpy.
Load More Replies... Crystalwitch60 1 year ago
For once I’m with att the YTAS COS YOURBA VILE A*****E , and please please do not ever have kids your a selfish entitled cruel b***h as needs to get over yourself ! Yes kids hve tantrums ginger snap put it perfectly n yes im a mother n 60 my kids are 23-20 thankfully in uk no where near scum like you and I never lived in a flat with them no nasty neighbours to call police etc cos a child had. Bloody tantrum GET OVER YOURSELF GET HEADPHONES or move out and go grovel to your poor neighbour and as for the ex SENSIBLE MAN ! you b***h are are inhuman !
DC and S 1 year ago (edited)
She was not actually concerned about the well being of the child. They were concerned for their own undisturbed quiet... Which unfortunately you don't get living in close proximity to others. The world around you doesn't cater to you. The entire time, her actions and words revolve around being annoyed at the noise a crying toddler makes. It's only when all other avenues of seeking quiet failed that she suddenly decided the kid must be in danger? She admits the crying at night stopped. She was happy when the mom took the kid away at every complaint. But the mom and kid have a right to, you know, LIVE in their home so the crying keeps happening. So she made a NOISE complaint hoping to get them evicted. In ALL of this, there is no concern for the kid's well-being, only concern for her dislike of the noise. It's only when all of this fails that she decides to be concerned and call CPS? Nah. Her boyfriend and the YTAs see right through her BS. PS - I do not have kids and I live in apartments, and the noise of other people living is a part of it. Just like you are allowed to live and make noise in your own house.
Ginger ninja 1 year ago
This was absolutely not done because OP was concerned the child was being neglected. They called cps just because they didnt like the noise even though the mum gave them a warning, a goodie bag and tried to accommodate as best as possible by taking the kid out
zims 1 year ago
Calling CPS was a bad faith judgement made out of selfishness and self-righteousness ("~I~ would have better control over ~MY~ child's tantrums!") Calling the SHERIFF was the nuclear option. There's a reason they're called EMERGENCY services, and it's for EMERGENCIES, like a fire, or a kid dangling off a roof, or someone screaming about pulling the trigger. Not the same tantrums you've been hearing for a month. OP was way over the line and deserved to get dumped. Noisy neighbors are an unfortunate fact of life in apartment living, and it sounds like the parents were doing everything in their power to accommodate the neighbors. If OP wanted a 24/7 quiet space she should have found alternate living arrangements.
vogonpoet 1 year ago
As a parent to five kids on the spectrum. Wowza! My second eldest would bite everyone instead of screaming. It's hard to communicate sometimes when you're ASD. I didn't start talking until I was 3. My biter kid didn't talk until she was 5. She would bite or scream (she's now a travelling 21f working her way around the globe). Currently working through my youngest (12m) thinking hitting me is appropriate behaviour. If anyone wants to know, he is ASD/ADHD, severely dyslexic and has raging OCD.
Elizabeth Lawlis 2 weeks ago
Definitely TA. My daughter threw a blood curdling screaming tantrum because I told her we can't have a pet elephant from the zoo. I have video of this on my phone 11 years later. It's great. I show it to all her friends and now they all get her elephant stuff.
Shelly Graham 1 year ago
This woman needs her head examined! Calling CPS, was so out of line; it should be illegal to make a frivolous or false allegation! If I was that Mom, I might consider having my child do scream therapy at home!
AllRightyNowThen 1 year ago
Other people's kids are not everyone's problem by default. The child was not developing nor improving... CPS was drastic yeah, but how would this lady know of the kid was being treated ok or not? NTAs say protect all mothers no questions no problems just let babies tantrum all day.... It's what they do... That about sums it up?
Aline Vargas 1 year ago
NTA. I work from home and I know what noise all day can make. Also my mother told me that I've never threw a tantrum. neither my brother. So, I guess the parents can manage it if my mother and father were able to do that and the kids are not under spectrum, I know things can be delicate if a kid is under spectrum.
Gwyn 1 year ago (edited)
I'm wondering if OP has some sort of pathological disorder. She doesn't understand the kindness and consideration that the Mom showed for her neighbors at all. What she should have done in a situation like this, if she had any empathy at all, is offer to help, drop off some nice things like strawberries or coloring pages, and wear earplugs.
Leigh Pierce 1 year ago
You know this wouldn't happen if parents wouldn't get up in arms about childfree apartments.
Sarah Kathrin Matsoukis 1 year ago
That's why I moved into a house full of elderly, this toddler would drive me nuts. I wouldn't call cps or something but I do understand the woman.
Joanne Earle 1 year ago
This is why I'll never share walls/floor/ceiling with anyone ever again. Bad enough in hotels when parents let their little darlings run back and forth for hours, disturbing people below them.
Kelly Scott 1 year ago
I don't know. All these people saying toddlers throw tantrums all the time seem to me to be suspiciously like the people who use "gentle" parenting. In other words, it's too much trouble for them to help their toddler redirect their emotions, so they let the kids act out any way they want and call it gentle parenting. Yet these are the same parents who won't spank their kids, but instead try to reason and negotiate with their toddlers. I don't think either one works, but I'm willing to bet this kid is terrorizing his fellow students in kindergarten and throwing chairs at the teacher when he's in 5th grade because of a lack of emotional self-regulation. Just call it a hunch.
BrownEyedPanda 1 year ago
As a former au pair, I can say with impunity that KIDS HAVE TANTRUMS. They cry, throw things, pee and poop on themselves, throw up (on others, thank you very much!), and simply pout. I don't subscribe to the "gentle parenting" technique, but getting your hide tanned constantly isn't the answer.
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Svenne O'Lotta 1 year ago
Honey, you can't even spell Megadeth. You're nothing more than an edgelord on the internet.
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Clown fish 1 year ago
What do you mean? I'm trying to understand where you seem to think language is a problem? And it tuck 7 years for your grandchild to stop having meltdowns so was there a lack of language for 7 years? Please help me understand what you are getting at because it is very contradictory from one sentence to the next
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Upstaged75 1 year ago
Obviously you're not a parent.... because only someone who has no idea about toddler behavior would write what you just did. A few tantrums a day is completely normal for a 2 year old.
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Weasel Wise 1 year ago
😮💨 Wow. You definitely don't have the experience you claim if you think that a 2yo is capable of controlling themselves enough to have 0-2 tantrums per day. 2yo's are bipolar little psychopaths that freak out all the time lol
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Tamra 1 year ago
Why should you be exposed to that sort of thing? Because you live in a society with other humans. S**t happens, and as an adult you should be capable of dealing with it. Insinuating this woman's child is a "mistake" proves that I doubt anyone would want to live near you, either. Sounds like *you* need to move to the damn country.
Load More Replies... Hey hey hey 1 year ago
This time around, the YTAers are the one with sense while the NTAers are off their rockers.
Harper 1 year ago
Do you now ealize that calling CPS over a toddlers tantrum is the ADULT equivalent of a TANTRUM?!
Crystalwitch60 1 year ago
It really is lol in uk we call em nimbys not in my back yard 😂oh and entitled asholes lol
Load More Replies... ToGo 1 year ago
If this was simply about concern over the consistent tantrums, I couldn't blame someone who has no experience of kids being worried enough to call CPS - if something was actually going on and they didn't call, they'd be the bad guy for not reporting. HOWEVER, the mother made a point to visit the neighbours and let them know the baby has these tantrums, she took the baby outside for a few hours each time she'd get a complaint from OP, this is absolutely not a negligent parent. It's clear as day that OP did in fact take very serious action because she simply didn't like the noise. That's an arsehole move.
Ms.GB 1 year ago (edited)
If they didn't know what's normal for a toddler Google exists! They called CPS who are already overloaded with real cases that don't get enough attention partially because of false and/or malicious reports like this one. That lady is awful.
Load More Replies... Kare Deter 1 year ago
He made the right call hitting the door running and not looking back!
Load More Replies... DrBronxx 1 year ago
Anyone else notice "but they couldn't evict based on a child throwing tantrums"? This woman was really jumping very quickly to trying to get a family EVICTED because a toddler was having a hard time. If this person ever has a child, I bet she will have an overwhelming realisation about her behaviour here.
Fellfromthemoon 1 year ago
I disagree. She will be the most entitled mother ever, rationalizing the truly bad behavior of her future child instead of actual parenting.
Load More Replies... François Bouzigues 1 year ago
It is not the mother´s fault that OP cannot afford a detached house. Flats come with neighbours. Deal with it.
Ben Aziza 1 year ago (edited)
She did not bother to do anything to confirm if it was abuse or not, and she calls cps? The mom was considerate and started by explaining her toddler's behavior to everyone. Every time he cries, and she is informed she takes them outside to comply with the request. BUT sure let us assume she is one of those rare class 1 psychopaths like that momtuber who tortured her kids and somehow kept it secret FOR WAY too long... Let us assume this newcomer is that level of elite psycho... You can't jump to CPS without ACTUALLY HAVING ANYTHING other than the random cries of a child... Some children don't make sound as if they were born in a business suit... Some are just wild reincarnated barbarians who do nothing but channel their warrior spirit everyday... So my guess is simply that this was not about any kind of care for an abused kid. She just decided to be massive a*****e instead of buying noise cancelling headphones... The thing i did 2 days ago a there is a playground next to my new place... It is THAT easy! What would this b***h do if she had to work at a noisy office or factory and not from home? Good on the BF for leaving that nuclear fusion bomb and I hope the mom has a smooth interaction with CPS and be magically blessed to never again encounter a "Karin" of this magnitude...
Nice Beast Ludo 1 year ago
I liked reading about the various tantrums in the comments. "Her socks felt weird. I looked at her too much when she was dancing. I didn't look at her enough when she was dancing." The best and loudest ones my kid had was age 18 mos- 2 and a half every time we left the library. We would stay for hours but she loved it there so much. It would be full body flailing, nuclear screaming and throwing her shoes every time we left. Luckily she was so sweet all of the other times and the librarians loved having her. It just brought back a memory. Miss those days.
Kare Deter 1 year ago
My son, on the spectrum, would have SPECTACULAR meltdown tantrums every time we would walk into one dollar store. Just cross the threshold, hit the floor thrashing & screaming like someone set him on fire. I would have to literally drag him out the door each time - we stopped going. It was the only solution. Never figured out what triggered him.
Load More Replies... Katharina Sei. 1 year ago
I guess that happens if people grow up with less and less children around. They do not know the behaviour of children. 3-4 tantrums a day is pretty normal for a 2 year old.
Weasel Wise 1 year ago
Or just ignorant, self-centered people. I have zero children but I live on Earth and know, and have seen, that 2yo children are the worst. Go to a mall, the grocery store, or basically anywhere a toddler might be and there's a good chance it'll have 5 meltdowns during that one visit. It's basic, world renown common sense. This woman was just upset that she was being disturbed. She STARTED with trying to get them evicted and when she didn't get what she wanted she thought the authorities would do her bidding, using the child crying as an excuse to pretend to be concerned.
Load More Replies... CatWoman1014 1 year ago
I remember having to deal with this years ago, but it was 5 kids, not one. It sounded like I lived under a playground. I complained so many times and sometimes I did have to call the police if the noise was after 10 pm and one occasion it sounded like they were fighting. No parents ever home and they left a 12 year old in charge. It was a nightmare. I ended up moving to a different apartment because living under them was hell. Even though I probably should have called CPS I never did bc I didn’t want to judge the situation. I only knew they were loud, but loud doesn’t equate to neglect or abuse.
UKGrandad 1 year ago
Leaving a 12-yr-old in charge of 4 younger children is absolutely neglect and, in the UK at least, illegal.
Load More Replies... Big Chungus 1 year ago
I wish this wasn't the way it was, but this is soooo normal for toddlers. They literally cry and throw a tantrum over absolutely everything lol my toddler threw himself to the ground because he gave me his toy and was mad he did that. That is why they are called terrible twos and threenagers lol
Hidalgo 1 year ago
Have to guess that a lot more children have been killed because someone didn’t call CPS when they should have than vice versa. A visit from CPS is not “having one’s child taken away.” It is a check.
Joey Jo Jo Shabadoo 1 year ago
Yes! If you work from home, you have to buy some. Apartments are not built to be sound-proof, and they certainly weren't built to be offices. You have to figure out a way to deal with toddlers, dogs, renovations, deliveries, whatever.
Load More Replies... Laura MG 1 year ago
My daughter rarely threw tantrums. The first time was at the mall, startled me, ppl were staring anyway, so I joined in: yelling, waving my arms around, all of it. Now she was so startled that she stopped the tantrum. Only threw one or two after that and got the same performance. Always talked to her about everything, NEVER spanked.
Richard Iachetta 1 year ago
Obviously she doesn't have children. Parents should be able to control a child's tantrum NO experience with child at all
Sharkfin6 1 year ago
I understand toddlers are difficult and the mom neighbors is obviously a single parent, but their rights end at my front door and my ability to live a peaceful live in my own home. I would not have gone so far as to involve authorities over the noise without first trying kindness and offering mom at least the benefit of the doubt and asking if there was anything that could help the tot out. Maybe I would have chipped in for some toys, or DVDs for their entertainment, of course after getting myself a pair of noise-cancelling headphones and trying to sound proof. But again, people need to stop making their own choices every else's problem.
Deborah B 1 year ago
Babies cry. Toddlers throw tantrums. Put on some background noise or get noise-cancelling headphones. Calling CPS because a two-year-old has 3 or 4 tantrums in a day, when theres other reason to suspect abuse or neglect, and a clearly present, concerned and attentive parent, is malicious.
roddy 1 year ago
I've had two kids, one of them autistic and there is no way there were tantrums every day or even every week. I'm a bit weirded out by people saying that several times a day is normal. Frankly, if you are worried about a child, report it. Far better to look like a jerk than let a child suffer if there is abuse going on.
JayWantsACat 1 year ago
YTA. I don't like kids and even I think OP is an ahole. My neighbor's kid has scream-cried at 7:30pm every day since she was born like 5 years ago. It's annoying as hell but SHE'S A KID and I can hear them not tolerating and trying their best to correct it, so it is what it is. It seems like this kid's mom went out of her way to both apologize in advance, gave OP a way to contact her when there's an issue, she took that baby outside each, and hasn't been crappy about being called so much. AND IT'S ONLY BEEN A MONTH, FFS. Would I be annoyed AF, like OP? Absolutely. But the mother is doing what she can. The situation sucks but to call CPS for this is INSANE.
The person leveling NYC 1 year ago
YTA forever. Suuuper entitled redditor. The fact that they actually posted this looking for sympathy…you should know that isn’t coming.
talliloo 1 year ago
grew up living in apartments with three siblings. yes, we were told to be considerate of neighbors but kids are noisy. go back to the office if you want working environment. reminded me of when my husband had just left that day for deployment. we had spent hours in the ER due to my toddler being very ill. was given meds in liquid form. it was night by the time we got home. attempted to give meds w/him screaming/fighting. knock on the door: it was military police responding to screams of child. showed them hospital discharge & meds & told them it tastes terrible but i have to get it in him. but they were free to give it a try. one of them kind of smiled, said his wife usually handled that and went on their way. will admit their showing up settled him down but i was so angry that my neighbor had called instead of coming over (were in a duplex). next day i explained& she apologized. it all worked out in the end because we talked. btw she was expecting her first child.
Dirk Daring 1 year ago
Not just YTA, but I'd apply a word I usually don't like. OP is a person who Can't Understand Normal Thinking
BrownEyedPanda 1 year ago
Plus, she's a Bratty Intolerant Trifling Childish Harpy.
Load More Replies... Crystalwitch60 1 year ago
For once I’m with att the YTAS COS YOURBA VILE A*****E , and please please do not ever have kids your a selfish entitled cruel b***h as needs to get over yourself ! Yes kids hve tantrums ginger snap put it perfectly n yes im a mother n 60 my kids are 23-20 thankfully in uk no where near scum like you and I never lived in a flat with them no nasty neighbours to call police etc cos a child had. Bloody tantrum GET OVER YOURSELF GET HEADPHONES or move out and go grovel to your poor neighbour and as for the ex SENSIBLE MAN ! you b***h are are inhuman !
DC and S 1 year ago (edited)
She was not actually concerned about the well being of the child. They were concerned for their own undisturbed quiet... Which unfortunately you don't get living in close proximity to others. The world around you doesn't cater to you. The entire time, her actions and words revolve around being annoyed at the noise a crying toddler makes. It's only when all other avenues of seeking quiet failed that she suddenly decided the kid must be in danger? She admits the crying at night stopped. She was happy when the mom took the kid away at every complaint. But the mom and kid have a right to, you know, LIVE in their home so the crying keeps happening. So she made a NOISE complaint hoping to get them evicted. In ALL of this, there is no concern for the kid's well-being, only concern for her dislike of the noise. It's only when all of this fails that she decides to be concerned and call CPS? Nah. Her boyfriend and the YTAs see right through her BS. PS - I do not have kids and I live in apartments, and the noise of other people living is a part of it. Just like you are allowed to live and make noise in your own house.
Ginger ninja 1 year ago
This was absolutely not done because OP was concerned the child was being neglected. They called cps just because they didnt like the noise even though the mum gave them a warning, a goodie bag and tried to accommodate as best as possible by taking the kid out
zims 1 year ago
Calling CPS was a bad faith judgement made out of selfishness and self-righteousness ("~I~ would have better control over ~MY~ child's tantrums!") Calling the SHERIFF was the nuclear option. There's a reason they're called EMERGENCY services, and it's for EMERGENCIES, like a fire, or a kid dangling off a roof, or someone screaming about pulling the trigger. Not the same tantrums you've been hearing for a month. OP was way over the line and deserved to get dumped. Noisy neighbors are an unfortunate fact of life in apartment living, and it sounds like the parents were doing everything in their power to accommodate the neighbors. If OP wanted a 24/7 quiet space she should have found alternate living arrangements.
vogonpoet 1 year ago
As a parent to five kids on the spectrum. Wowza! My second eldest would bite everyone instead of screaming. It's hard to communicate sometimes when you're ASD. I didn't start talking until I was 3. My biter kid didn't talk until she was 5. She would bite or scream (she's now a travelling 21f working her way around the globe). Currently working through my youngest (12m) thinking hitting me is appropriate behaviour. If anyone wants to know, he is ASD/ADHD, severely dyslexic and has raging OCD.
Elizabeth Lawlis 2 weeks ago
Definitely TA. My daughter threw a blood curdling screaming tantrum because I told her we can't have a pet elephant from the zoo. I have video of this on my phone 11 years later. It's great. I show it to all her friends and now they all get her elephant stuff.
Shelly Graham 1 year ago
This woman needs her head examined! Calling CPS, was so out of line; it should be illegal to make a frivolous or false allegation! If I was that Mom, I might consider having my child do scream therapy at home!
AllRightyNowThen 1 year ago
Other people's kids are not everyone's problem by default. The child was not developing nor improving... CPS was drastic yeah, but how would this lady know of the kid was being treated ok or not? NTAs say protect all mothers no questions no problems just let babies tantrum all day.... It's what they do... That about sums it up?
Aline Vargas 1 year ago
NTA. I work from home and I know what noise all day can make. Also my mother told me that I've never threw a tantrum. neither my brother. So, I guess the parents can manage it if my mother and father were able to do that and the kids are not under spectrum, I know things can be delicate if a kid is under spectrum.
Gwyn 1 year ago (edited)
I'm wondering if OP has some sort of pathological disorder. She doesn't understand the kindness and consideration that the Mom showed for her neighbors at all. What she should have done in a situation like this, if she had any empathy at all, is offer to help, drop off some nice things like strawberries or coloring pages, and wear earplugs.
Leigh Pierce 1 year ago
You know this wouldn't happen if parents wouldn't get up in arms about childfree apartments.
Sarah Kathrin Matsoukis 1 year ago
That's why I moved into a house full of elderly, this toddler would drive me nuts. I wouldn't call cps or something but I do understand the woman.
Joanne Earle 1 year ago
This is why I'll never share walls/floor/ceiling with anyone ever again. Bad enough in hotels when parents let their little darlings run back and forth for hours, disturbing people below them.
Kelly Scott 1 year ago
I don't know. All these people saying toddlers throw tantrums all the time seem to me to be suspiciously like the people who use "gentle" parenting. In other words, it's too much trouble for them to help their toddler redirect their emotions, so they let the kids act out any way they want and call it gentle parenting. Yet these are the same parents who won't spank their kids, but instead try to reason and negotiate with their toddlers. I don't think either one works, but I'm willing to bet this kid is terrorizing his fellow students in kindergarten and throwing chairs at the teacher when he's in 5th grade because of a lack of emotional self-regulation. Just call it a hunch.
BrownEyedPanda 1 year ago
As a former au pair, I can say with impunity that KIDS HAVE TANTRUMS. They cry, throw things, pee and poop on themselves, throw up (on others, thank you very much!), and simply pout. I don't subscribe to the "gentle parenting" technique, but getting your hide tanned constantly isn't the answer.
Load More Replies... Svenne O'Lotta 1 year ago
Honey, you can't even spell Megadeth. You're nothing more than an edgelord on the internet.
Load More Replies... Clown fish 1 year ago
What do you mean? I'm trying to understand where you seem to think language is a problem? And it tuck 7 years for your grandchild to stop having meltdowns so was there a lack of language for 7 years? Please help me understand what you are getting at because it is very contradictory from one sentence to the next
Load More Replies... Upstaged75 1 year ago
Obviously you're not a parent.... because only someone who has no idea about toddler behavior would write what you just did. A few tantrums a day is completely normal for a 2 year old.
Load More Replies... Weasel Wise 1 year ago
😮💨 Wow. You definitely don't have the experience you claim if you think that a 2yo is capable of controlling themselves enough to have 0-2 tantrums per day. 2yo's are bipolar little psychopaths that freak out all the time lol
Load More Replies... Tamra 1 year ago
Why should you be exposed to that sort of thing? Because you live in a society with other humans. S**t happens, and as an adult you should be capable of dealing with it. Insinuating this woman's child is a "mistake" proves that I doubt anyone would want to live near you, either. Sounds like *you* need to move to the damn country.
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