Man Asks If He’s Wrong For Involving Police After Neighbor’s Outrage Over Washing Underwear
People often forget that a house or apartment isn’t just the location and amenities, so much of the experience can be made or ruined by one’s neighbors. This is so much more true if you are forced to share some area of equipment with them.
A man wondered if he was wrong to call the police on a disturbed old woman who called him a pervert for cleaning his underwear in the building’s washing machines. After he called her out, he returned to discover that she had poured bleach all over his things. We reached out to the man in the story via private message and will update the article when he gets back to us.
Bad neighbors can ruin a perfectly nice place to live
Image credits: cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo)
But one man had his entity set of laundry deliberately ruined by a bizarre old lady
Image credits: Darya Sannikova / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: LaundryBleaches
A person who wants to cause trouble will always find a reason
While some no doubt held the man in the story responsible for having a clearly mentally ill woman held, it’s worth noting that those present actually have all the facts. Unlike random folks on the internet, the authorities deemed her a big enough risk to intervene. Perhaps it’s not the best outcome, but this woman is clearly a risk to people around her. It can be hard to tell bad intentions from a distance, particularly from a “harmless” looking person, but results speak for themselves.
For example, no rationally thinking person will conclude that a man cleaning his underwear in the communal washing machine is an act of perversion. Indeed, deciding to not clean them and just walk around like a human stink bomb is a lot worse. However, if this old lady wanted to start some drama, she would have found a way, underwear or no. Harassment isn’t always proportional to the degree of dislike someone might have.
After being told to mind her business, she immediately went vigilante-mode and destroyed the man’s laundry. This point is another piece of evidence that she is a risk to those around her. Imagine you encounter an actual pervert in your building, someone you catch in the act. Most folks would contact the authorities or get help. While agency is often a good thing, this does show that this woman is ready and willing to do real damage to people if she feels slighted.
Image credits: Danya Gutan / pexels (not the actual photo)
Getting out of this living situation was the best option
Fortunately, the man in the story seems quite aware that this is not some issue that will magically disappear. The woman’s daughter does not seem to have a way to “move” her. One has to sympathize with her a bit, even if she is not willing to fully take responsibility for the woman. She no doubt has a job and a life and can’t be babysitting her 24/7.
This way, she is at least sometimes under some supervision and not being unleashed on the wider public. Given the response of the police, it would appear that this is the first time someone has called the authorities on this woman. Unless there are some significant changes, someone else will end up finding bleach in their laundry or worse. All in all, cutting one’s losses and getting out now is the sensible option. Particularly hot off the heels of this event, where the landlord has few options to complain.
Naturally, the optics of the situation perhaps made the man second-guess his decision. Maybe some thought calling the police was too much, perhaps the daughter’s arguments started to sway him. Fortunately, folks online helped him set the record straight. Getting out of this apartment now, when all he has lost is a set of laundry is the absolute best bet.
Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto / pexels (not the actual photo)
Most thought he was not at fault
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If she got a 72-hour hold, some serious issues are at play. As someone with mental health issues, I can tell you it's damn hard to get put on hold.
But some neighbours seems to think he is a perv, if they act different towards him now??
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The police were the only avenue open at the time and qualified to handle issue. If daughter knows mother is in early stage dementia, why is she not getting parent into suitable and safe living conditions.
Because that is not as easy as it sounds. Here in the Netherlands, you can't just simply go live in an assisted facility building/organization or whatever it's called. There is a waiting list as there are not enough places. And for daughter to monitor her mom 24/7 is also not possible. Sometimes your hand are tied. If anything, police involvement might speed up the process of getting assisted living though. Daughter was out of line.
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NTA. This is not on OP, but the daughter and the landlord. The daughter: because even though she and the other tenants were aware of her mother's mental issues, she has yet to get her the help she needs. She has chosen instead to force others to tolerate the unhinged behavior. The landlord: because he had prior knowledge of the unhinged tenant, but has yet to do anything about the situation. This time, it has only cost him the price of new clothing. Had the bleach been thrown in OP'S face, it would have cost him thousands more. Would the daughter STILL have expected OP to be "understanding"?
The landlord only has one of two choices: allow OP to break his lease or brace himself for legal trouble. In the meantime, he needs to confront the daughter and give her the option of placing her mother elsewhere or moving out. One tenant shouldn't be allowed to manipulative an entire apartment complex.
Load More Replies... If she got a 72-hour hold, some serious issues are at play. As someone with mental health issues, I can tell you it's damn hard to get put on hold.
But some neighbours seems to think he is a perv, if they act different towards him now??
Load More Replies... The police were the only avenue open at the time and qualified to handle issue. If daughter knows mother is in early stage dementia, why is she not getting parent into suitable and safe living conditions.
Because that is not as easy as it sounds. Here in the Netherlands, you can't just simply go live in an assisted facility building/organization or whatever it's called. There is a waiting list as there are not enough places. And for daughter to monitor her mom 24/7 is also not possible. Sometimes your hand are tied. If anything, police involvement might speed up the process of getting assisted living though. Daughter was out of line.
Load More Replies... NTA. This is not on OP, but the daughter and the landlord. The daughter: because even though she and the other tenants were aware of her mother's mental issues, she has yet to get her the help she needs. She has chosen instead to force others to tolerate the unhinged behavior. The landlord: because he had prior knowledge of the unhinged tenant, but has yet to do anything about the situation. This time, it has only cost him the price of new clothing. Had the bleach been thrown in OP'S face, it would have cost him thousands more. Would the daughter STILL have expected OP to be "understanding"?
The landlord only has one of two choices: allow OP to break his lease or brace himself for legal trouble. In the meantime, he needs to confront the daughter and give her the option of placing her mother elsewhere or moving out. One tenant shouldn't be allowed to manipulative an entire apartment complex.
Load More Replies...
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