On Valentine’s day, I went to a concert and got home past midnight. My mother expressed her panicky concern about this incident and reprimanded me about it this morning. I’m a 24 year old woman with no job and lived with my parents for a long time. Ever since I was young, I always see life as an adventure instead of it as a dangerous place, I had high confidence that I’m gonna travel the world by my 20s but it hadn’t yet happened and large part of the reason was because of my mother’s paranoia that has infected my mind. But I have to live my life and I want to throw myself into what my mother see as the shark’s mouth. I am planning to move out sooner or later, and make small steps towards my greater dreams. I want the world but my mother just expect me to move around this very small place of my province. To have a 9-5 job and to go home under their wings. But I want more, I want to go to italy and switzerland, and hawaii and everywhere else! I have an infinite imagination of a beautiful life and it has to happen but the way they get so paranoid when I’m outside, I can’t even imagine the distress she’d feel if I decided to separate from them, living on a different city—let alone a different country!
I have a mother like that. When I visited pen pals when I was in my mid- to late 20s she's panic so hard. Especially when I went to Budapest. She kept asking me what I'd do if my pen pal (which whom I'd written for nearly 10 years at the time) wouldn't come and pick me up at the airport. I just told her that I'd find a cheap hotel and continue visiting Budapest for the week. She did the same when I was going to visit a pen pal in Germany. And again I told her I'd just find a cheap hotel and continue seeing the area I'd come to. I know it feels s****y to have an over-protective mother. My best advice would be that you move out and show her that you can live by yourself just fine. It will not "cure" your mother but at least you can respond to her worries with "but now I've lived by myself for X time and you can see my home is fine, I have food in my fridge, I pay my bills... I am doing fine and you do not have to worry about me".
Some mothers just have a really hard time to realise when their kid has grown up. Especially for only-children. I am 40yo and my mother still sees me as an incompetent teenager. And she hates my bf because she feels he's stealing my away from her. Because I talk with him about the everyday things that I'd call and tell her about years ago. It didn't even help when I began to have children. She still texts me to tell me to drive slowly when it's freezing outside. Because you know... as a 40yo mother of 3 I cannot think myself that I should drive carefully when there's ice and snow on the roads. Lol.
Load More Replies...I have a mother like that. When I visited pen pals when I was in my mid- to late 20s she's panic so hard. Especially when I went to Budapest. She kept asking me what I'd do if my pen pal (which whom I'd written for nearly 10 years at the time) wouldn't come and pick me up at the airport. I just told her that I'd find a cheap hotel and continue visiting Budapest for the week. She did the same when I was going to visit a pen pal in Germany. And again I told her I'd just find a cheap hotel and continue seeing the area I'd come to. I know it feels s****y to have an over-protective mother. My best advice would be that you move out and show her that you can live by yourself just fine. It will not "cure" your mother but at least you can respond to her worries with "but now I've lived by myself for X time and you can see my home is fine, I have food in my fridge, I pay my bills... I am doing fine and you do not have to worry about me".
Some mothers just have a really hard time to realise when their kid has grown up. Especially for only-children. I am 40yo and my mother still sees me as an incompetent teenager. And she hates my bf because she feels he's stealing my away from her. Because I talk with him about the everyday things that I'd call and tell her about years ago. It didn't even help when I began to have children. She still texts me to tell me to drive slowly when it's freezing outside. Because you know... as a 40yo mother of 3 I cannot think myself that I should drive carefully when there's ice and snow on the roads. Lol.
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