Moms Share The Weirdest Things Their Kids Have Ever Done
Motherhood ain’t easy. Some of the stuff that we all put our mothers through when we were too young to remember was so weird and messed up that the only appropriate response would have been laughing or crying. Here are 17 mothers who decided to confess some of the most degrading and WTF moments they’ve had to experience while raising their children.
The confessions were submitted anonymously by guests to the Pump & Dump comedy show hosted by Shayna Ferm and her coach MC Doula. For more hilarious humor about kids and parenting, check out some of the creepiest or most hilariously honest things kids have ever said or written.
More info: thepumpanddumpshow.com (h/t: huffpost)
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My son will be 3 in December. He likes you to blow raspberries on his tummy. Now he walks up to strangers, lifts his shirt & says "blow me"
When my son was 2 years old he told me that he want to go and live in the moon and eat clouds.
This is really nice, I'd love to do the same!
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I was in line at the vehicle registry, when my 3 year old pointed at the tall man behind me and yelled "mommy, you farted on that big guy!"
My 2 year old son walked in on me going to the bathroom, tried to spread my legs and said, "Mama, can I see...where is your penis?"
when my son was around two, we were walking through the store and sirens went off outside, instead of yelling "Fire Truck" it was "Tire F**K
My two year-old nephew used to yell "Dumb F**k!" whenever he saw a dump truck.
Load More Replies...
My 2 year covered himself and the dog with poop. It was everywhere, and he walked up to me like he was so proud.
Lol,Kids are fascinated by poop, poop jokes,the word poop or pooh.
Load More Replies...
My 2-year old daughter confused who, what, and where and looked around the grocery store one day and asked, "Who's my daddy?"
We bumped into some work colleagues, and my 4yo told them that at nursery she peeled off a boys skin and put it in a wall...Charming she is.
One time I caught my 4 y/o daughter watching lesbian midget porn. I told her to turn it off and she said "But this is what mommy does"
Making cakes n needed honey but had none,my 3yr old asked me...Where honey comes from? I explained n she replied let's find one n squeeze it
I tied a cherry stem in my mouth to impress my older cousin in front of my whole family. Had no idea it was a sexual thing. Still embarassed
Stephanie Liao- "submitted anonymously by guests to the Pump and Dump Comedy Show". Read the whole story before you judge.
I took my two year old to a petting zoo... there was a peacock. .. he ran around yelling, "c**k, I want c**k mom! "
My preschooler told me one day that he was going to buy me a limo when he grew up so I could drive him everywhere...uh thanks...
In a busy enclosure at a zoo, my daughter pointed to a mammy Orangutan and SHOUTED "Look! That orangutan has boobies just like you Mammy!"
MY 6 YEAR OLD GIRL ASKED ME: MOM WHEN I WILL HAVE BIG BOOBS LIKE YOURS.
My 3 year old at a fast food place looked at a biker sitting at the next table and said mom look a pirate
I took my 5y/o son to see a X-Men. As we set in the theatre he screams my water broke. I was 37 weeks pregnant.
You took your son to see X Men???????!!!!!!!! Shame on you!
Load More Replies...
My son at age 3, after walking in on my the in the bathroom: boys have a pee, girls have a string! very loudly!!!
In a restaurant my 7yo pointed to a rastafarian gentlemen and loudly asked whys that man dressed like rasta mouse !!! Omg the shame !!! Lol
Had to look up what rastamouse is. LOL! How did you explain?
Load More Replies...
My 4 year old cover the dog and herself in mud and let the dog lose in the house.
My parents own a small motel. I was cleaning today and my 18 month old took a muffin out of the trash and started eating it. I freaked. Lol.
My son said he had a "poop monster" in his pocket. He then dropped his pants and reached up his a*s to pull out a piece of his own s**t.
My son said he had a "poopy monster" in his pocket. He then reached up his a*s to pull out a piece of his own s**t.
When my son was 6 years old, he had a cat that he loved more than anything. One day he asked, "When Twinkle dies, can I keep his head?"
While eating lunch in public my 4 yr old shouted "my panties are in my butt crack, pull it out Mama!"
When my daughter was 3 she ate sun rotted chicken gizzard maggots and all.
My two year old had a melt down on the toilet yesterday because he couldn't find his boobs..
Covering everything but himself in poop while taking his afternoon nap...
In JCPenny with my 2&3 y/o when my son, 3y/o said to the cashier, "My mama has a hootie, she takes the hair off"
My 4 year old daughter pooped on a plate under our kitchen table and when I asked her why she said " I wanted to see what you would do" lol.
My 6 yr old daughter boldly asked the dark choc. cashier, " are you from Africa?" When in fact born and raised in Texas, "slave?" -LSR3
My 5 year old son decided he was ready for a committed relationship. He asked the gardener to marry him and I haven't seen him since.
This is so sad as it mostly reflects the wrong behaviour of their parents. Kids are just copying what they see and hear. I feel sorry f them
How many times are you gonna repeat the same thing? We heard tou the first 10 times! Parrot
Load More Replies... Some are funny but some are just plain wrong. Amazing what some kids see, hear and their homes. Maybe the parents should be a tad careful.
Or on tv...or in public! You can't protect them from everything and some kids have imaginative minds...Doesn't mean that the parents are bad
Load More Replies... 
So basically these were written by 3 different people as most of the handwriting looks the same.
10 people could tell me their stories and I write them down. Doesn't mean those 10 people didn't tell me their stories.
Load More Replies... My 4 year old cover herself and the dog in mud and then let the dog loose in the house.
This is soo sad, as it mostly reflects adults' wrong behavior. Kids are just copying what parents or elder siblings show them.
My son will be 3 in December. He likes you to blow raspberries on his tummy. Now he walks up to strangers, lifts his shirt & says "blow me"
When my son was 2 years old he told me that he want to go and live in the moon and eat clouds.
This is really nice, I'd love to do the same!
Load More Replies... I was in line at the vehicle registry, when my 3 year old pointed at the tall man behind me and yelled "mommy, you farted on that big guy!"
My 2 year old son walked in on me going to the bathroom, tried to spread my legs and said, "Mama, can I see...where is your penis?"
when my son was around two, we were walking through the store and sirens went off outside, instead of yelling "Fire Truck" it was "Tire F**K
My two year-old nephew used to yell "Dumb F**k!" whenever he saw a dump truck.
Load More Replies... My 2 year covered himself and the dog with poop. It was everywhere, and he walked up to me like he was so proud.
Lol,Kids are fascinated by poop, poop jokes,the word poop or pooh.
Load More Replies... My 2-year old daughter confused who, what, and where and looked around the grocery store one day and asked, "Who's my daddy?"
We bumped into some work colleagues, and my 4yo told them that at nursery she peeled off a boys skin and put it in a wall...Charming she is.
One time I caught my 4 y/o daughter watching lesbian midget porn. I told her to turn it off and she said "But this is what mommy does"
Making cakes n needed honey but had none,my 3yr old asked me...Where honey comes from? I explained n she replied let's find one n squeeze it
I tied a cherry stem in my mouth to impress my older cousin in front of my whole family. Had no idea it was a sexual thing. Still embarassed
Stephanie Liao- "submitted anonymously by guests to the Pump and Dump Comedy Show". Read the whole story before you judge.
I took my two year old to a petting zoo... there was a peacock. .. he ran around yelling, "c**k, I want c**k mom! "
My preschooler told me one day that he was going to buy me a limo when he grew up so I could drive him everywhere...uh thanks...
In a busy enclosure at a zoo, my daughter pointed to a mammy Orangutan and SHOUTED "Look! That orangutan has boobies just like you Mammy!"
MY 6 YEAR OLD GIRL ASKED ME: MOM WHEN I WILL HAVE BIG BOOBS LIKE YOURS.
My 3 year old at a fast food place looked at a biker sitting at the next table and said mom look a pirate
I took my 5y/o son to see a X-Men. As we set in the theatre he screams my water broke. I was 37 weeks pregnant.
You took your son to see X Men???????!!!!!!!! Shame on you!
Load More Replies... My son at age 3, after walking in on my the in the bathroom: boys have a pee, girls have a string! very loudly!!!
In a restaurant my 7yo pointed to a rastafarian gentlemen and loudly asked whys that man dressed like rasta mouse !!! Omg the shame !!! Lol
Had to look up what rastamouse is. LOL! How did you explain?
Load More Replies... My 4 year old cover the dog and herself in mud and let the dog lose in the house.
My parents own a small motel. I was cleaning today and my 18 month old took a muffin out of the trash and started eating it. I freaked. Lol.
My son said he had a "poop monster" in his pocket. He then dropped his pants and reached up his a*s to pull out a piece of his own s**t.
My son said he had a "poopy monster" in his pocket. He then reached up his a*s to pull out a piece of his own s**t.
When my son was 6 years old, he had a cat that he loved more than anything. One day he asked, "When Twinkle dies, can I keep his head?"
While eating lunch in public my 4 yr old shouted "my panties are in my butt crack, pull it out Mama!"
When my daughter was 3 she ate sun rotted chicken gizzard maggots and all.
My two year old had a melt down on the toilet yesterday because he couldn't find his boobs..
Covering everything but himself in poop while taking his afternoon nap...
In JCPenny with my 2&3 y/o when my son, 3y/o said to the cashier, "My mama has a hootie, she takes the hair off"
My 4 year old daughter pooped on a plate under our kitchen table and when I asked her why she said " I wanted to see what you would do" lol.
My 6 yr old daughter boldly asked the dark choc. cashier, " are you from Africa?" When in fact born and raised in Texas, "slave?" -LSR3
My 5 year old son decided he was ready for a committed relationship. He asked the gardener to marry him and I haven't seen him since.
This is so sad as it mostly reflects the wrong behaviour of their parents. Kids are just copying what they see and hear. I feel sorry f them
How many times are you gonna repeat the same thing? We heard tou the first 10 times! Parrot
Load More Replies... Some are funny but some are just plain wrong. Amazing what some kids see, hear and their homes. Maybe the parents should be a tad careful.
Or on tv...or in public! You can't protect them from everything and some kids have imaginative minds...Doesn't mean that the parents are bad
Load More Replies... So basically these were written by 3 different people as most of the handwriting looks the same.
10 people could tell me their stories and I write them down. Doesn't mean those 10 people didn't tell me their stories.
Load More Replies... My 4 year old cover herself and the dog in mud and then let the dog loose in the house.
This is soo sad, as it mostly reflects adults' wrong behavior. Kids are just copying what parents or elder siblings show them.
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