Woman’s Halloween Costume With Stepkids Drives Their Mom Mad, Internet Suspects It’s Not About The Costume

Halloween is always more fun if you have people around who share your enthusiasm for dressing up and getting into the spirit of things.

Group costumes can be especially exciting. So when Reddit user LisaoftheRoses was asked by her husband’s twins to join them in portraying characters from The Parent Trap, she was touched and happily agreed.

But not everyone enjoyed the idea. The girls’ mother found out about their plans and thought it was inappropriate, leading to a tense phone call between the two adults.

It’s not always easy for stepparents to find their place in family traditions and holiday celebrations

Twins hugging their stepmom and mother, expressing desire to include stepmom in group Halloween costume plans.

Image credits: Ron Lach / Pexels (not the actual photo) 

Especially when they’re being accused of overstepping boundaries

Stepmother and ten-year-old twin girls want to join group Halloween costume but face disapproval from their mother.

Text about twins watching the movie Parent Trap and wanting to dress in a group Halloween costume with their stepmom.

Twins wanting to include stepmom in group Halloween costume face opposition from their mother about appropriateness.

Two twins smiling near a woman reacting with surprise, representing group Halloween costume and stepmom inclusion debate.

Image credits: Walt Disney Productions

Text on a white background about twins wanting to do a group Halloween costume including their stepmom, facing concerns from their mother.

Text about twins wanting to include stepmom in group Halloween costume while mother finds it inappropriate.

Text excerpt discussing a mother disapproving a group Halloween costume involving twins and their stepmom as inappropriate.

Woman in white shirt wiping tears while on phone call, reflecting tension about twins and stepmom Halloween costume debate

Image credits: Kaboompics.com / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Text excerpt discussing concerns about including stepmom in twins' group Halloween costume, viewed as inappropriate by mother.

Text message describing a tense phone call about including stepmom in group Halloween costume, causing upset.

Text excerpt discussing twins wanting to include stepmom in group Halloween costume and mother finding it inappropriate.

Woman covering her face with hands, appearing stressed, related to twins wanting to include stepmom in group Halloween costume debate.

Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Text on a white background about reminding someone it was their choice for Halloween costume approval during a tense call.

Alt text: Text expressing concern about including stepmom in twins' group Halloween costume causing potential family issues

Image credits: LisaoftheRoses

Image credits: Austin Guevara / Pexels (not the actual photo) 

There’s a good chance the true cause of this fight isn’t really the Halloween costume at all

When it comes to blended families, stepmothers usually start in a pretty difficult spot.

“Women feel more internal (emotional) and external (social) pressure to create a perfect ‘blended’ family than men do,” says writer and social researcher Wednesday Martin, Ph.D. “Additionally, they may well feel pressure from their partners or husbands to ‘make us into a ‘real’ family.'”

So it’s really cool that the author of the post has managed to connect with her stepdaughters.

However, dealing with exes is also a big part of being a stepparent. “Stepfathers are dealing with ex-husbands. [But] twenty- and thirty-year … longitudinal studies … found that statistically speaking, women tend to nurture feelings of hostility and anger longer post-divorce than men, who are more likely to harbor fantasies of reconciliation or smooth sailing,” explains Martin, author of Untrue: Why Nearly Everything We Believe About Women, Lust, and Infidelity Is Wrong and How the New Science Can Set Us Free.

“This sets the stage for conflict between the ex and her ex’s partner from both directions—she may be very resentful of the re-partnership, and he may want to avoid creating waves and so remain involved with her and in her household in ways that create dissatisfaction and discomfort for his partner/wife.”

In addition, Martin says researchers have found that mothers are more likely than fathers to want high levels of involvement in the ex-partner’s household when children are there (everything from homework to school lunches to dental appointments may be matters of concern).

“This creates more opportunities for interaction and increases the likelihood of conflict between mother and stepmother (who may be the stand-in appointment and lunch maker, for example),” she adds.

Dialing down expectations—both personal expectations and expectations within the couple—is a key ingredient in finding happiness in a re-partnership with children of any age. So the answer might be to get rid of the myth of the blended family, and find authentic ways to connect. Hopefully, the Redditor and her stepdaughters’ mom can find a way to strengthen their cooperation rather than destroy it.

As her story went viral, the woman provided more information in the comments

Discussion about twins wanting to include stepmom in group Halloween costume amid mother's objection and family tension.

Screenshot of a social media discussion about twins wanting to include their stepmom in a group Halloween costume.

Discussion about twins wanting to include stepmom in group Halloween costume while mother finds it inappropriate

And people eagerly shared their thoughts

Comment discussing twins wanting to include stepmom in group Halloween costume despite mother's objection about appropriateness.

Comment discussing stepmom inclusion in group Halloween costume and family dynamics around appropriateness and jealousy.

Comment discussing tensions between mother and stepmom over group Halloween costume and parental roles with twins.

Comment expressing support for twins wanting to include stepmom in group Halloween costume despite mother's disapproval.

Alt text: Online discussion about twins wanting to include their stepmom in a group Halloween costume and mother's concerns about appropriateness

Comment discussing concerns about twins, stepmom inclusion, and parental conflicts in a group Halloween costume situation.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing twins wanting to include their stepmom in a group Halloween costume and family disagreements.

Discussion on twins wanting to include stepmom in group Halloween costume and mother's view on appropriateness.

Screenshot of an online discussion about twins wanting to include their stepmom in a group Halloween costume while their mother objects.

Text from a user explaining how twins want to include stepmom in group Halloween costume but their mother finds it inappropriate.

Comment discussing twins wanting to include stepmom in group Halloween costume but facing opposition from their mother.

Comment discussing twins wanting to include stepmom in Halloween costume and mother’s disapproval of the idea.

Alt text: Online discussion about twins wanting to include stepmom in group Halloween costume while mother objects to idea

Comment suggesting a family discussion about including stepmom in group Halloween costume amid mother's concerns.

Reddit comment discussing the chance people will recognize a group Halloween costume involving twins and their stepmom.

Comment suggesting inviting stepmom to join group Halloween costume to ease tensions between twins' mother and stepmom.

Comment discussing twins wanting to include stepmom in group Halloween costume and mother finding it inappropriate.

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