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As writer Hanson O’Haver pointed out, there’s a pretty simple way to figure out if a joke is offensive: if the punchline is the victim, the joke is probably bad.
But pranks take this one step further. They not only laugh at the victim, pranks create a victim for the sole purpose of laughing at them.
So when Reddit user u/Small-Raspberry-6561 saw her son targeting his sister, she couldn’t just let it slide. After one particularly mean toilet incident, the woman made him clean up the mess, and her little one finally started to understand that his actions have consequences.
However, the woman’s husband thought it was bad parenting and confronted her about it.
RELATED:
This mom found out her son pulled a nasty prank on his sister, making her pee all over the bathroom
Image credits: Pranksters in Love (not the actual photo)
So the woman insisted he had to clean the mess, but the boy tried to talk himself out of it
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Gustavo Fring (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Small-Raspberry-6561
We managed to get in touch with u/Small-Raspberry-6561 and she was kind enough to have a little chat with us.
“Dax and Mia get along OK, but honestly not that great,” the mom told Bored Panda. “They used to be a lot closer when they were younger, but recently, since Mia has grown up a bit, she’s a lot less amused by her brother’s pranks and jokes. For the most part, they keep their distance. It’s not like they hate each other or anything, but they’re definitely not best friends.”
u/Small-Raspberry-6561 said she and her husband have discussed the issue since she made the post they still fundamentally disagree.
“He has a weird standoff-ish approach with parenting and a general attitude of never punishing the kids. He wants to ‘let them be kids’ and refuses to make them take responsibility for anything,” the mom explained. “I would personally prefer a bit of a harsher approach, to teach them how to navigate life better. I think punishment is an important part of growing up. And you don’t have to be overly harsh, to teach them a lesson and let them know that some actions are not OK.”
“I’ve spoken to Mia about this directly and checked in with her to make sure she’s doing all right. I don’t think she has any particular grudge against her brother, but she was very embarrassed in the situation, and she’s definitely getting tired of his antics. My husband and I have a continual dialogue about this. But it seems like we can’t come to a good agreement on what to do. Dax’s behavior is OK and he’s making his sister feel on edge in her own house all the time. I want to help her in any way I can.”
In hindsight, the woman is happy with the way she handled the situation. “I think my reaction was the right one, and that belief has been reinforced after making my post and seeing that the majority of people here agree with me. Dax needs to learn the natural consequences of his actions and this was a good way of doing that.”
Pranks can cross the line into abuse
Stephanie Sarkis, Ph.D., who is a AMHCA Diplomate and clinical specialist in child and adolescent counseling, recognizes that social media has given rise to increasingly higher stakes in pranking, chasing views and money.
Because of this, “Spouses, partners, family members, and friends have been subject to pranks that involve gruesome scenes, physical harm, and humiliation,” Sarkis wrote. “When some victims confronted the people perpetrating the prank, their concerns were brushed off or told they needed to ‘lighten up.'”
These situations can seriously disrupt relationships, making the victims of pranks question whether they have the right to be upset, especially if the perpetrator doesn’t take the victim’s concerns seriously. But they shouldn’t.
“You have a right not to be pranked,” Sarkis highlighted. “You have the right to be treated with kindness and respect. You also have the right to speak out when you feel a sense of injustice or have witnessed an injustice towards another person.”
“Pranks may qualify as a form of emotional or psychological abuse. Pranks can be how a person attempts to gain control over their partner, family members, or friends. Pranks can invoke fear and give the perpetrator a feeling of power over others,” she added.
By sending her family a clear message that pranks are not tolerated in their household, the author of the Reddit post is trying to foster an inclusive environment for everyone involved.
Image credits: Keira Burton (not the actual photo)
Natural consequences help kids learn to make good choices
As a parent, it’s tempting to just take away your child’s iPad whenever for they misbehave. But if you do so, your kid won’t learn the powerful lessons that natural consequences can teach.
Essentially, natural consequences are simply what happens as a result of a person’s actions, without much intervention by an outside party.
By employing this approach when a child makes a mistake, the parent lets the child learn by doing, truly experiencing the fruits of their labors, Aliza Pressman, PhD, an assistant clinical professor of pediatrics and psychologist at Mount Sinai Kravis Children’s Hospital in New York City, explained.
This can mean that they end up chilly, overtired, without their homework, late, or any number of other unpleasant things. They may feel disappointed or frustrated.
Natural consequences are things that happen automatically as a result of a child’s action or inaction without any purposeful behavior on the adult’s part, and if the natural consequence is unwanted or unpleasant, the child has the opportunity to learn from the experience and do things differently the next time to avoid the unpleasant experience.
So let’s hope “Dax” walks away from this whole thing with a better understanding of why pranks aren’t cool.
Image credits: August de Richelieu (not the actual photo)
As the story went viral, the original poster (OP) provided more information on the whole ordeal
And people unanimously said she did nothing wrong
What do you think ?
similarly 2 years ago
The saran wrap on the toilet prank is so old, my Mom told me this was a common prank at her university back in the 1960s. I think the Mom was 100% correct to make the son clean it up. Your prank = your mess.
Ken Beattie 2 years ago
Was thinking the same thing. I remember the girls doing it (to each other) on a mixed touch football trip 30ish years ago. It's annoying, and gross but relatively harmless. The punishment certainly seemed more than fair though. In fact it sounds like the boy is the only one doing the pranks and (maybe) has trouble differentiating between what is and isn't an appropriate prank. So seems like time to step in and call time on all pranks. Dad is the biggest AH in the story though. Maybe he needs to be on the butt end of a few of the pranks.
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Deborah B 2 years ago
"Boys will be boys" is toxic and bad parenting. OP needs to have a chat with her husband about how he is undermining his son, and setting him up to be a toxic a*****e later in life. It sounds like tiktok is a major problem, and a 1 week ban is not enough. I would suggest a week without internet (except for essential homework use) and two addional weeks without tiktok, every time he copies bad behaviour from tiktok. Make it clear to him that pranks are only funny if everyone involved has consented to pranking, and finds the particular prank funny. Otherwise it's bullying and harassment.
Jaya 2 years ago
Agree. It's clear that the sister doesn't like pranks, so they should not allow him to prank her anymore at all, she needs to feel like her home is a safe space and not a place where she can be bullied at any moment. And if they think he should be allowed to prank people, they should give him permission to prank his parents as much as he likes, but not his sister. I agree on your punishments as well, the punishments should be something he really cares about and not being allowed on Tiktok for a longer time everytime he has done a prank, will quickly make him realize that the prank isn't worth it because he would rather have Tiktok for 2 weeks than do 1 prank. I think they also should do empathy exercises with the boy, not as a punishment, but to help him develop empathy which he seems to lack.
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FantastiKitty 2 years ago
Oh, COME ON! Mom is not an AH, but the dad definitely is. "You're endangering him"... It's just pee.
ConstantlyJon 2 years ago
Sounds like the husband needs to spend some time cleaning a public restroom. Jesus.
Jaya 2 years ago
Yes, this goes way beyond a prank, it's abusive and bullying. It's unclear whether the kid meant it as bullying or is just very clueless and hasn't learned to have enough empathy yet. But either way, this is not okay, and needs to be dealt with.
Load More Replies... Marion Vambre 2 years ago
The whole point of that stupid joke was that somebody pee/s**t on the plastic, right? Well then the son should be happy: he got what he wanted. And the punishment is even rather nice and lenient considering what he did. The most disturbing thing about this is that this little prick assumed that not only would his sister be subjected to his crappy joke, but that as a bonus it would be up to her to wash. It says a lot about the respect he has for her... And, given his sister’s reaction, it is obvious that there is a big problem and that he takes pleasure in harassing her. We are no longer on simple "child battles" of brothers and sisters but rather on malevolence. That kid’s a big a*****e.
Frau von Düh 2 years ago
So dad ist enabling son to pull pranks on His sister. Sister learns that it's ok when men disrespect boundaries, because boys will be boys. Brother has a hard time cleaning the toilet, mother lets father decide if her decision is OK or not... Everything ist fine...
Robert Greenwood 2 years ago
NTA. However you husband and son definitely are. He's lucky to have got off so lightly. Next time make him mop the mess up with his favourite t-shirts. Then make him throw them in the trash.
Weasel Wise 2 years ago
Both the parents are failures for allowing unrestrained use of the internet by a CHILD. After the first "prank" they should have grown wiser and taken those privileges away until he can be more mature. Dad is extra useless cuz who has that sort of attitude when their child is being so blatantly mean to hia sibling? Since precious Son shouldn't be exposed to those "germs", I guess Dad can clean it up, right?
Marilyn Russell 2 years ago
Guess what else? His job should now be to keep the bathroom clean. He’s old enough to do household chores. Mom should get him a new pair of rubber gloves and pass the baton, so to speak.
Margaret Hinman 2 years ago (edited)
Your husband is angry that you're making his boy do "women's work". You clean up their gross male messes - pee & poo & boogers etc. He needs to grow up along with your son and stop being lazy entitled brats.
Far Cough Khan 2 years ago
tell dad he has to clean it then. see what he says. if the son can catch germs, so can mom if mom has to clean...
Tomato Froggo 2 years ago
As a teenager girl, let me just say I would have punched him in the face after. That’s not a “prank.” A prank doesn’t involve people getting hurt or ending up like that. That’s not okay.
Say What 2 years ago
Why does the husband hate the daughter and his wife? He's not a partner to his wife and undermines her. He won't expose his cherished son to germs the some made, but will expose his daughter to the germs his sons made? Throw the whole man out. Plus, the son wasn't even punished. He cleaned up his own mess and cried like a baby while he was at hit. That's not a punishment, that goes without saying. He needs an actual punishment. Protect your daughter and divorce your awful husband.
Eliza May 2 years ago
Tik tok is not a need, it's a privilege the son is abusing. Husband is a useless tool as far as sensible discipline. I'd be asking why the don is do badly in need of attention he's pulling these pranks. Too much time on internet and games, not enough one on one or group family time, or learning empathy for other peoples' discomfort or pain. He needs to learn empathy while he's young and somewhat controllable, and learn consequences BADLY, as does the father.
Randy Sanders 2 years ago
Mom did the right thing. It teaches him stupid behavior has consequences.
Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
Sorry, but let me make sure I have this right. Your husband thinks that urine is toxic and dangerous...but it's ok for YOU to clean the toilet? NTA. Actions have consequences, a lesson you just taught your son. Maybe he'll think before doing something even more hazardous. Also, if I were you, I'd add "cleaning the toilet" to hubby's chores list. He needs to learn the same lesson.
MR 2 years ago
She played this 100% correctly. Her husband is a terrible parent. He seriously pulled out the "boys will be boys" card? Like really? Of course they will. If only there was a way his boy could be taught to be a man. JFC, he really had concerns over the germs? Just wow. Everything about this is embarrassing on his part. And he's absolutely the reason he the son keeps pulling these terrible pranks.
Courtney 2 years ago
If they continue to allow the son to behave this way, the daughter will resent her parents into her adulthood and never want to have a relationship with with her childhood torturer. No wonder they “don’t get along well.” Most siblings that don’t get along usually stems from inequitable parenting.
Wysteria_Rose 2 years ago
Feel bad for the daughter. She's the target of all these stupid pranks, and it really doesn't seem like either parent is actually trying to stop it. Yes, the mom made the son clean up the pee but can't seem to commit to any action/reprimand that would actually knock the whole "pranking" mentality off. And the pranks may seem 'harmless' but it's crappy to try to live your life at home but be on alert 24/7 because your parents can't get any control over their 12 year old.
SnackbarKaat 2 years ago
So the dad doesn't mind his wife or daughter 'exposing' themselves to cleaning pee?
baby frog 2 years ago
I ABSOLUTELY HATE THE “boys will be boys” MINDSET. LIKE, NO. TEACH YOUR BOYS TO CONTROL THEMSELVES INSTEAD OF LETTING DO THESE KINDS OF THINGS. THEY WONT GROW AND THEY WONT MATURE, MUCH LIKE MY SIBLING. PLEASE DONT HAVE THIS MINDSET WHEN TEACHING YOUR KIDS I AM BEGGING YOU
Shawna Burt 2 years ago
OP doesn't have two kids, she has THREE, one of whom is definitely more than old enough to know better.
Anton Swanepoel 2 years ago
So the father thinks his poor delicate boy will be exposed to germs, and shouldn't have to clean up, but it's okay for his daughter? He's enabling his son to be the worst version of himself.
Blue Chambers 2 years ago
Did someone really have to ask people on the internet if she was in the right? Very very obvious that you did the right thing. Actions have consequences and he needs to clean up his mess.
Seabeast 2 years ago
She lives with a misogynist who thinks his precious boy shouldn't be exposed to germs from pee but it's okay for his wife and daughter to clean it up. So I'm going to say she's been brainwashed for a long time.
Load More Replies... Tyranamar Seuss 2 years ago
I think allowing some pranks while not allowing others may be confusing. This needs to be a no prank household. And TikTok should be gone for 1 month.
Jaya 2 years ago
"Someone murdered my whole family. I told him that wasn't very nice of him. AITA?" Seriously, why on earth is BP spreading these nonsense articles where the person asking is so clearly right that no-one in their right mind would disagree, and the asker CLEARLY knows this and just wants to get some sympathy? I hate that BP is becoming all about drama and rage-bait, instead of interesting and funny stuff like it used to be.
Angie Falzarano 2 years ago
Nta. The punishment fit the bill that's 100% good parenting. I agree with others that the son does not need to be getting on social media. Some of the pranks that are now been doing are down right dangerous. Take his computer and anything that would allow him access to social media. Later put parental controls on all of it. Your son needs to learn the consequences of his actions. Your husband doesn't understand that this kind of thing can cause a female of any age to get an infection. If he doesn't understand that make him talk to a doctor who can explain this to him. Your son needs to have punishments appropriate for his actions. He is old enough to know better.
Stannous Flouride 2 years ago
First of all, urine is virtually sterile. Especially that of a healthy teen-aged woman. Second, third, fourth, etc of all: not making the boy deal with repercussions of his actions leads to the "Boys will be boys" mentality that allows men to get away with much more serious crimes in adulthood.
Vivian Ashe 2 years ago
Uhh... so what exactly does the husband think should happen? Unless they're just going to leave the pee there forever, or sell the house and move, I assume he thinks *someone* should clean it up. Who does he think that person should be? Is he going to volunteer? Will the magic elves do it? Does he expect his traumatized daughter to do it and be exposed to the same "germs" that are too dangerous for his son? Or he could call Grandma! No, obviously he just takes it for granted that his wife should silently and automatically take care of every gross, thankless task... even when said task is the result of someone else's mean-spirited, deliberate action.
Thor Haugen 2 years ago
Wow, kids are fragile these days. The prank was a jerk move, but crying and running to mommy? And then the other child crying and running to Daddy when he is held accountable? I am older, but my weekly chores included cleaning bathrooms with a father that didn't aim well. No gloves included. I didn't get any horrible illnesses.
Marion Vambre 2 years ago
I don't think the daughter is "drama queen". If you read the whole thing from the beginning, this isn't the first stupid prank his brother has played on her. And what the mother says gives a very, veryyyy strong impression that he regularly targets her. I rather think that it must have been too long since she saw her brother making fun of her and her lax and amorphous parents (he is 12 years old, 12 years old, for f**k's sake, he is totally old enough to use his brain ) to simply deprive him of Tik-Tok for two or three days as a "punishment" and that, this time, the joke being particularly humiliating, she cried. It's also possible, given the dad's s****y mentality, that she thought she'd be told to clean up the mess her brother caused, adding further humiliation ? On that, I hope I'm wrong.
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Seabeast 2 years ago
Not sterile, but cleaning it up with rubber gloves on isn't going to kill you either.
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Lama 2 years ago (edited)
STOP THE MYTH: urine is NOT sterile, and is not safe to drink/put in your eyes. [ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4659483/ ]
SadieCat17 2 years ago
There goes my normal way of cleaning the bathroom floor with my tongue.
Load More Replies... The Redhead 2 years ago (edited)
NTA you did the right thing 100%. Like you said your son needs to learn that his consequences.Based on this story I'd honestly say you're a great mom. 🙂
Alexandra Grey 2 years ago
"Boys will be boys" created Brock Turner. Time for mom to lay down the law - to husband and son.
Celesta 2 years ago
Honestly, both parents seem pretty useless. Sure, mom is somewhat parenting by making him clean HIS mess, but only a WEEK of just no Xbox? And every time someone says "restrict what they watch" her response is "I do as much as possible". No, you can lock them out of ALL social media, especially the son until he can prove he has better decision making skills. And if her husband is that toxic, sexist and partial to the kids, she is only making everything worse by staying with him and showing her kids that kind of bs is okay. I feel so sorry for the daughter here.
Exotic Butters 2 years ago
Your husband is dead wrong. 100% dead wrong. OP is right all day long. Surprised she never heard of this prank. It's not new, been around for decades
Mandy Delaforce (PC Girl) 2 years ago
The son is a bully. He's not funny, or "pranking". He's a pure out and out bully. Domestic terrorist. The parents need to stop it now. And Dad needs to pull his head out of his a**e and see it.
Diplodocus Dinosaur 2 years ago
If mum and dad have different ideas for raising children it will cause problems. They should back each other. Children need boundaries to learn. It will also make them good future parents.
Eva Sawyer 2 years ago
So Dad undermines you, and you are the one questioning if YOU are the a*****e? When your husband sits there and tells you that he will just roll back any punishments that you impose, that is a SERIOUS marital problem. If he won't back you on the little stuff, he is certainly not going to on the big stuff.
Ione Decep 2 years ago
I'm starting to become an advocate of writing lines. You're forced to stay in one spot for a long period of time, doing a repetitive, boring task, and whatever it is you're having to write will stay in your memory for a LONG time.
Sara Wilson 2 years ago
ANYONE who says ANYTHING other than NTA is a horrible human being. What I think it comes down to is our precious baby boys having to clean up icky human grossness that women r just automatically expected to do. It's ok for the WIFE or DAUGHTER to do, but not the person who made the decision to do the prank knowing EXACTLY what would happen. I think she gave him the only suitable punishment, except I would have grounded him too and taken away all access to the internet until the pranks stop
Nitka Tsar 2 years ago
I really don‘t like it when people say stuff like „like every boy“. No, it is NOT every boy/ girl that does certain stuff. My children for example would be quite the reverse. My daughter would be the prankster snd my son the one who is annoyed about it. But anyway: the husbands approach is what causes toxic masculinity. He comes off as one of those „boys will be boys“ kind of people. His precious boy should not clean, yeah right. Next time make the husband do it!
Nigel Sulley 2 years ago
Dad is an F'ng moron.. maiking the son clean up after his prank is exactly the correct call. Pranks can be very fun but the prankster needs to realize that they may be required to help with the clean up.. I learned that back in the 80's after TPing a friend's house, car, and trees. Sounds like daddy needs to start doing some cleaning at home if the doesn't understand this.. maybe next time let him clean up the mess.
SheamusFanFrom1987 2 years ago (edited)
If they were my kids, Dax would be cleaning the toilet unless he wants more than just his gadgets taken away. Poor Mia, that's not a prank, that's just sickening. Hell, if I were OP, I'd make the useless enabler of a husband clean up as well since "boys will be boys". Well, boys will also receive punishment when in the wrong and will be expected to man-up and face the music, more so in this case where the tune is gross enough. Also, this kind of sh*t and bullf*ckery is why I generally avoid TikTok like the damn Black Plague.
Becca Kuehn 2 years ago
The only people who were behaving like AHs in this situation were the son and husband. Mom handled the situation perfectly. The fact that the husband did not back up his wife is ridiculous. If this happened between my children, I would have made the child who pulled the prank and caused the mess to clean it. Cleaning the bathroom daily would definitely be one of the prankster's chores for at least 2 weeks. I would also restrict him from watching prank videos for quite a while.
Mark Buxbaum 2 years ago
Mom is NOT the 'a'. The one who does the prank (in this case, the son) not only gets to clean up all the pee, he gets to clean the entire bathroom, once a week, for a month. Maybe then he'll realize how hard others work (like his mom!). And dad is close to being the 'a' by not supporting his wife!
Nancy 2 years ago
That husband needs to get his thinking adjusted - big time. When his son comes home from injuring a girl (or boy) outside the family - what will namby-pamby dads reaction be? Boys will be boys. And yeah men will be men - even in jail. His son is in for a very real rude awakening in his life. And taking away electronics. Oh boo hoo. Make him sit down and read a book about abuse. Manners. Decency. Maybe dad too should read it
Marcellus II 2 years ago
How TF is this a question? You made your bed of pee, you lie in your bed of pee. He's 12, he knew PERFECTLY the mess it was going to make. If he's going to whine about it, you make him clean it up; if he accepts his fault and the consequences, you give him a pair of marigolds and make him clean it up.
COCO puff 2 years ago
A bit of bad parenting if the kids dont communicate and the boy is messing around.
Inglourioustmnt 2 years ago (edited)
As a parent I can see why you hate the prank. And the son shouldve had to clean it up. Totally agree. But as someone not involved, its a funny prank. Downvote away
YetAnotherSarah 2 years ago
Daughter should calm tf down. Mom should calm tf down. Son should calm tf down. Husband should calm tf down. Playing pranks have consequences. Husband's a douche.
Lama 2 years ago
Urine is absolutely not sterile! This myth needs to end, before more people drink it/pour it in their eyes.
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shereallylikesmusic 2 years ago
Maybe Dax is watching "Friends"? I know this prank from the show, and even while watching the episode (where Ross and his son make pranks xD) I thought it was an eeeeeeewwwwwww thing to do
Janet Graham 2 years ago
I think your reaction was spot-on. I also think the daughter was being a bit of a drama queen. The son sure was! I was cleaning up my own messes from a young age as were my kids. We are all responsible adults now. Dad, however, is a huge problem here. Even if he never gives his son a side wink, the kid knows that dad is laughing inside and this is giving the son reason to react more. Mom and Dad need to go to counseling because Dad is as immature as they come. He will mess up both kids.
Marion Vambre 2 years ago
I don't think the daughter is "drama queen". If you read the whole thing from the beginning, this isn't the first stupid prank his brother has played on her. And what the mother says gives a very, veryyyy strong impression that he regularly targets her. I rather think that it must have been too long since she saw her brother making fun of her and her lax and amorphous parents (he is 12 years old, 12 years old, for f**k's sake, he is totally old enough to use his brain ) to simply deprive him of Tik-Tok for two or three days as a "punishment" and that, this time, the joke being particularly humiliating, she cried. It's also possible, given the dad's s****y mentality, that she thought she'd be told to clean up the mess her brother caused, adding further humiliation ? On that, I hope I'm wrong.
Load More Replies... similarly 2 years ago
The saran wrap on the toilet prank is so old, my Mom told me this was a common prank at her university back in the 1960s. I think the Mom was 100% correct to make the son clean it up. Your prank = your mess.
Ken Beattie 2 years ago
Was thinking the same thing. I remember the girls doing it (to each other) on a mixed touch football trip 30ish years ago. It's annoying, and gross but relatively harmless. The punishment certainly seemed more than fair though. In fact it sounds like the boy is the only one doing the pranks and (maybe) has trouble differentiating between what is and isn't an appropriate prank. So seems like time to step in and call time on all pranks. Dad is the biggest AH in the story though. Maybe he needs to be on the butt end of a few of the pranks.
Load More Replies... Deborah B 2 years ago
"Boys will be boys" is toxic and bad parenting. OP needs to have a chat with her husband about how he is undermining his son, and setting him up to be a toxic a*****e later in life. It sounds like tiktok is a major problem, and a 1 week ban is not enough. I would suggest a week without internet (except for essential homework use) and two addional weeks without tiktok, every time he copies bad behaviour from tiktok. Make it clear to him that pranks are only funny if everyone involved has consented to pranking, and finds the particular prank funny. Otherwise it's bullying and harassment.
Jaya 2 years ago
Agree. It's clear that the sister doesn't like pranks, so they should not allow him to prank her anymore at all, she needs to feel like her home is a safe space and not a place where she can be bullied at any moment. And if they think he should be allowed to prank people, they should give him permission to prank his parents as much as he likes, but not his sister. I agree on your punishments as well, the punishments should be something he really cares about and not being allowed on Tiktok for a longer time everytime he has done a prank, will quickly make him realize that the prank isn't worth it because he would rather have Tiktok for 2 weeks than do 1 prank. I think they also should do empathy exercises with the boy, not as a punishment, but to help him develop empathy which he seems to lack.
Load More Replies... FantastiKitty 2 years ago
Oh, COME ON! Mom is not an AH, but the dad definitely is. "You're endangering him"... It's just pee.
ConstantlyJon 2 years ago
Sounds like the husband needs to spend some time cleaning a public restroom. Jesus.
Jaya 2 years ago
Yes, this goes way beyond a prank, it's abusive and bullying. It's unclear whether the kid meant it as bullying or is just very clueless and hasn't learned to have enough empathy yet. But either way, this is not okay, and needs to be dealt with.
Load More Replies... Marion Vambre 2 years ago
The whole point of that stupid joke was that somebody pee/s**t on the plastic, right? Well then the son should be happy: he got what he wanted. And the punishment is even rather nice and lenient considering what he did. The most disturbing thing about this is that this little prick assumed that not only would his sister be subjected to his crappy joke, but that as a bonus it would be up to her to wash. It says a lot about the respect he has for her... And, given his sister’s reaction, it is obvious that there is a big problem and that he takes pleasure in harassing her. We are no longer on simple "child battles" of brothers and sisters but rather on malevolence. That kid’s a big a*****e.
Frau von Düh 2 years ago
So dad ist enabling son to pull pranks on His sister. Sister learns that it's ok when men disrespect boundaries, because boys will be boys. Brother has a hard time cleaning the toilet, mother lets father decide if her decision is OK or not... Everything ist fine...
Robert Greenwood 2 years ago
NTA. However you husband and son definitely are. He's lucky to have got off so lightly. Next time make him mop the mess up with his favourite t-shirts. Then make him throw them in the trash.
Weasel Wise 2 years ago
Both the parents are failures for allowing unrestrained use of the internet by a CHILD. After the first "prank" they should have grown wiser and taken those privileges away until he can be more mature. Dad is extra useless cuz who has that sort of attitude when their child is being so blatantly mean to hia sibling? Since precious Son shouldn't be exposed to those "germs", I guess Dad can clean it up, right?
Marilyn Russell 2 years ago
Guess what else? His job should now be to keep the bathroom clean. He’s old enough to do household chores. Mom should get him a new pair of rubber gloves and pass the baton, so to speak.
Margaret Hinman 2 years ago (edited)
Your husband is angry that you're making his boy do "women's work". You clean up their gross male messes - pee & poo & boogers etc. He needs to grow up along with your son and stop being lazy entitled brats.
Far Cough Khan 2 years ago
tell dad he has to clean it then. see what he says. if the son can catch germs, so can mom if mom has to clean...
Tomato Froggo 2 years ago
As a teenager girl, let me just say I would have punched him in the face after. That’s not a “prank.” A prank doesn’t involve people getting hurt or ending up like that. That’s not okay.
Say What 2 years ago
Why does the husband hate the daughter and his wife? He's not a partner to his wife and undermines her. He won't expose his cherished son to germs the some made, but will expose his daughter to the germs his sons made? Throw the whole man out. Plus, the son wasn't even punished. He cleaned up his own mess and cried like a baby while he was at hit. That's not a punishment, that goes without saying. He needs an actual punishment. Protect your daughter and divorce your awful husband.
Eliza May 2 years ago
Tik tok is not a need, it's a privilege the son is abusing. Husband is a useless tool as far as sensible discipline. I'd be asking why the don is do badly in need of attention he's pulling these pranks. Too much time on internet and games, not enough one on one or group family time, or learning empathy for other peoples' discomfort or pain. He needs to learn empathy while he's young and somewhat controllable, and learn consequences BADLY, as does the father.
Randy Sanders 2 years ago
Mom did the right thing. It teaches him stupid behavior has consequences.
Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
Sorry, but let me make sure I have this right. Your husband thinks that urine is toxic and dangerous...but it's ok for YOU to clean the toilet? NTA. Actions have consequences, a lesson you just taught your son. Maybe he'll think before doing something even more hazardous. Also, if I were you, I'd add "cleaning the toilet" to hubby's chores list. He needs to learn the same lesson.
MR 2 years ago
She played this 100% correctly. Her husband is a terrible parent. He seriously pulled out the "boys will be boys" card? Like really? Of course they will. If only there was a way his boy could be taught to be a man. JFC, he really had concerns over the germs? Just wow. Everything about this is embarrassing on his part. And he's absolutely the reason he the son keeps pulling these terrible pranks.
Courtney 2 years ago
If they continue to allow the son to behave this way, the daughter will resent her parents into her adulthood and never want to have a relationship with with her childhood torturer. No wonder they “don’t get along well.” Most siblings that don’t get along usually stems from inequitable parenting.
Wysteria_Rose 2 years ago
Feel bad for the daughter. She's the target of all these stupid pranks, and it really doesn't seem like either parent is actually trying to stop it. Yes, the mom made the son clean up the pee but can't seem to commit to any action/reprimand that would actually knock the whole "pranking" mentality off. And the pranks may seem 'harmless' but it's crappy to try to live your life at home but be on alert 24/7 because your parents can't get any control over their 12 year old.
SnackbarKaat 2 years ago
So the dad doesn't mind his wife or daughter 'exposing' themselves to cleaning pee?
baby frog 2 years ago
I ABSOLUTELY HATE THE “boys will be boys” MINDSET. LIKE, NO. TEACH YOUR BOYS TO CONTROL THEMSELVES INSTEAD OF LETTING DO THESE KINDS OF THINGS. THEY WONT GROW AND THEY WONT MATURE, MUCH LIKE MY SIBLING. PLEASE DONT HAVE THIS MINDSET WHEN TEACHING YOUR KIDS I AM BEGGING YOU
Shawna Burt 2 years ago
OP doesn't have two kids, she has THREE, one of whom is definitely more than old enough to know better.
Anton Swanepoel 2 years ago
So the father thinks his poor delicate boy will be exposed to germs, and shouldn't have to clean up, but it's okay for his daughter? He's enabling his son to be the worst version of himself.
Blue Chambers 2 years ago
Did someone really have to ask people on the internet if she was in the right? Very very obvious that you did the right thing. Actions have consequences and he needs to clean up his mess.
Seabeast 2 years ago
She lives with a misogynist who thinks his precious boy shouldn't be exposed to germs from pee but it's okay for his wife and daughter to clean it up. So I'm going to say she's been brainwashed for a long time.
Load More Replies... Tyranamar Seuss 2 years ago
I think allowing some pranks while not allowing others may be confusing. This needs to be a no prank household. And TikTok should be gone for 1 month.
Jaya 2 years ago
"Someone murdered my whole family. I told him that wasn't very nice of him. AITA?" Seriously, why on earth is BP spreading these nonsense articles where the person asking is so clearly right that no-one in their right mind would disagree, and the asker CLEARLY knows this and just wants to get some sympathy? I hate that BP is becoming all about drama and rage-bait, instead of interesting and funny stuff like it used to be.
Angie Falzarano 2 years ago
Nta. The punishment fit the bill that's 100% good parenting. I agree with others that the son does not need to be getting on social media. Some of the pranks that are now been doing are down right dangerous. Take his computer and anything that would allow him access to social media. Later put parental controls on all of it. Your son needs to learn the consequences of his actions. Your husband doesn't understand that this kind of thing can cause a female of any age to get an infection. If he doesn't understand that make him talk to a doctor who can explain this to him. Your son needs to have punishments appropriate for his actions. He is old enough to know better.
Stannous Flouride 2 years ago
First of all, urine is virtually sterile. Especially that of a healthy teen-aged woman. Second, third, fourth, etc of all: not making the boy deal with repercussions of his actions leads to the "Boys will be boys" mentality that allows men to get away with much more serious crimes in adulthood.
Vivian Ashe 2 years ago
Uhh... so what exactly does the husband think should happen? Unless they're just going to leave the pee there forever, or sell the house and move, I assume he thinks *someone* should clean it up. Who does he think that person should be? Is he going to volunteer? Will the magic elves do it? Does he expect his traumatized daughter to do it and be exposed to the same "germs" that are too dangerous for his son? Or he could call Grandma! No, obviously he just takes it for granted that his wife should silently and automatically take care of every gross, thankless task... even when said task is the result of someone else's mean-spirited, deliberate action.
Thor Haugen 2 years ago
Wow, kids are fragile these days. The prank was a jerk move, but crying and running to mommy? And then the other child crying and running to Daddy when he is held accountable? I am older, but my weekly chores included cleaning bathrooms with a father that didn't aim well. No gloves included. I didn't get any horrible illnesses.
Marion Vambre 2 years ago
I don't think the daughter is "drama queen". If you read the whole thing from the beginning, this isn't the first stupid prank his brother has played on her. And what the mother says gives a very, veryyyy strong impression that he regularly targets her. I rather think that it must have been too long since she saw her brother making fun of her and her lax and amorphous parents (he is 12 years old, 12 years old, for f**k's sake, he is totally old enough to use his brain ) to simply deprive him of Tik-Tok for two or three days as a "punishment" and that, this time, the joke being particularly humiliating, she cried. It's also possible, given the dad's s****y mentality, that she thought she'd be told to clean up the mess her brother caused, adding further humiliation ? On that, I hope I'm wrong.
Load More Replies... Seabeast 2 years ago
Not sterile, but cleaning it up with rubber gloves on isn't going to kill you either.
Load More Replies... Lama 2 years ago (edited)
STOP THE MYTH: urine is NOT sterile, and is not safe to drink/put in your eyes. [ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4659483/ ]
SadieCat17 2 years ago
There goes my normal way of cleaning the bathroom floor with my tongue.
Load More Replies... The Redhead 2 years ago (edited)
NTA you did the right thing 100%. Like you said your son needs to learn that his consequences.Based on this story I'd honestly say you're a great mom. 🙂
Alexandra Grey 2 years ago
"Boys will be boys" created Brock Turner. Time for mom to lay down the law - to husband and son.
Celesta 2 years ago
Honestly, both parents seem pretty useless. Sure, mom is somewhat parenting by making him clean HIS mess, but only a WEEK of just no Xbox? And every time someone says "restrict what they watch" her response is "I do as much as possible". No, you can lock them out of ALL social media, especially the son until he can prove he has better decision making skills. And if her husband is that toxic, sexist and partial to the kids, she is only making everything worse by staying with him and showing her kids that kind of bs is okay. I feel so sorry for the daughter here.
Exotic Butters 2 years ago
Your husband is dead wrong. 100% dead wrong. OP is right all day long. Surprised she never heard of this prank. It's not new, been around for decades
Mandy Delaforce (PC Girl) 2 years ago
The son is a bully. He's not funny, or "pranking". He's a pure out and out bully. Domestic terrorist. The parents need to stop it now. And Dad needs to pull his head out of his a**e and see it.
Diplodocus Dinosaur 2 years ago
If mum and dad have different ideas for raising children it will cause problems. They should back each other. Children need boundaries to learn. It will also make them good future parents.
Eva Sawyer 2 years ago
So Dad undermines you, and you are the one questioning if YOU are the a*****e? When your husband sits there and tells you that he will just roll back any punishments that you impose, that is a SERIOUS marital problem. If he won't back you on the little stuff, he is certainly not going to on the big stuff.
Ione Decep 2 years ago
I'm starting to become an advocate of writing lines. You're forced to stay in one spot for a long period of time, doing a repetitive, boring task, and whatever it is you're having to write will stay in your memory for a LONG time.
Sara Wilson 2 years ago
ANYONE who says ANYTHING other than NTA is a horrible human being. What I think it comes down to is our precious baby boys having to clean up icky human grossness that women r just automatically expected to do. It's ok for the WIFE or DAUGHTER to do, but not the person who made the decision to do the prank knowing EXACTLY what would happen. I think she gave him the only suitable punishment, except I would have grounded him too and taken away all access to the internet until the pranks stop
Nitka Tsar 2 years ago
I really don‘t like it when people say stuff like „like every boy“. No, it is NOT every boy/ girl that does certain stuff. My children for example would be quite the reverse. My daughter would be the prankster snd my son the one who is annoyed about it. But anyway: the husbands approach is what causes toxic masculinity. He comes off as one of those „boys will be boys“ kind of people. His precious boy should not clean, yeah right. Next time make the husband do it!
Nigel Sulley 2 years ago
Dad is an F'ng moron.. maiking the son clean up after his prank is exactly the correct call. Pranks can be very fun but the prankster needs to realize that they may be required to help with the clean up.. I learned that back in the 80's after TPing a friend's house, car, and trees. Sounds like daddy needs to start doing some cleaning at home if the doesn't understand this.. maybe next time let him clean up the mess.
SheamusFanFrom1987 2 years ago (edited)
If they were my kids, Dax would be cleaning the toilet unless he wants more than just his gadgets taken away. Poor Mia, that's not a prank, that's just sickening. Hell, if I were OP, I'd make the useless enabler of a husband clean up as well since "boys will be boys". Well, boys will also receive punishment when in the wrong and will be expected to man-up and face the music, more so in this case where the tune is gross enough. Also, this kind of sh*t and bullf*ckery is why I generally avoid TikTok like the damn Black Plague.
Becca Kuehn 2 years ago
The only people who were behaving like AHs in this situation were the son and husband. Mom handled the situation perfectly. The fact that the husband did not back up his wife is ridiculous. If this happened between my children, I would have made the child who pulled the prank and caused the mess to clean it. Cleaning the bathroom daily would definitely be one of the prankster's chores for at least 2 weeks. I would also restrict him from watching prank videos for quite a while.
Mark Buxbaum 2 years ago
Mom is NOT the 'a'. The one who does the prank (in this case, the son) not only gets to clean up all the pee, he gets to clean the entire bathroom, once a week, for a month. Maybe then he'll realize how hard others work (like his mom!). And dad is close to being the 'a' by not supporting his wife!
Nancy 2 years ago
That husband needs to get his thinking adjusted - big time. When his son comes home from injuring a girl (or boy) outside the family - what will namby-pamby dads reaction be? Boys will be boys. And yeah men will be men - even in jail. His son is in for a very real rude awakening in his life. And taking away electronics. Oh boo hoo. Make him sit down and read a book about abuse. Manners. Decency. Maybe dad too should read it
Marcellus II 2 years ago
How TF is this a question? You made your bed of pee, you lie in your bed of pee. He's 12, he knew PERFECTLY the mess it was going to make. If he's going to whine about it, you make him clean it up; if he accepts his fault and the consequences, you give him a pair of marigolds and make him clean it up.
COCO puff 2 years ago
A bit of bad parenting if the kids dont communicate and the boy is messing around.
Inglourioustmnt 2 years ago (edited)
As a parent I can see why you hate the prank. And the son shouldve had to clean it up. Totally agree. But as someone not involved, its a funny prank. Downvote away
YetAnotherSarah 2 years ago
Daughter should calm tf down. Mom should calm tf down. Son should calm tf down. Husband should calm tf down. Playing pranks have consequences. Husband's a douche.
Lama 2 years ago
Urine is absolutely not sterile! This myth needs to end, before more people drink it/pour it in their eyes.
Load More Replies... shereallylikesmusic 2 years ago
Maybe Dax is watching "Friends"? I know this prank from the show, and even while watching the episode (where Ross and his son make pranks xD) I thought it was an eeeeeeewwwwwww thing to do
Janet Graham 2 years ago
I think your reaction was spot-on. I also think the daughter was being a bit of a drama queen. The son sure was! I was cleaning up my own messes from a young age as were my kids. We are all responsible adults now. Dad, however, is a huge problem here. Even if he never gives his son a side wink, the kid knows that dad is laughing inside and this is giving the son reason to react more. Mom and Dad need to go to counseling because Dad is as immature as they come. He will mess up both kids.
Marion Vambre 2 years ago
I don't think the daughter is "drama queen". If you read the whole thing from the beginning, this isn't the first stupid prank his brother has played on her. And what the mother says gives a very, veryyyy strong impression that he regularly targets her. I rather think that it must have been too long since she saw her brother making fun of her and her lax and amorphous parents (he is 12 years old, 12 years old, for f**k's sake, he is totally old enough to use his brain ) to simply deprive him of Tik-Tok for two or three days as a "punishment" and that, this time, the joke being particularly humiliating, she cried. It's also possible, given the dad's s****y mentality, that she thought she'd be told to clean up the mess her brother caused, adding further humiliation ? On that, I hope I'm wrong.
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