This Woman Doesn’t See Her Mom At Award Ceremony Because She Missed It To Be With Her Autistic Brother, Cuts All Ties With Her
Very often various unwelcome news, accidents, or tragedies show us who our real friends and trustworthy family members are. Even though we might think that those who are close to us won’t leave us when things start to look bad, unfortunately, that’s not always the case. Hard life events often alter the lives of families, changing the relationship between their members. One of the examples could be considered the story by Reddit user @u/waltzingaway78, who wanted to ask others online whether what happened between her and her daughter could’ve been handled differently. The post that received more than 24k upvotes was commented on by many other Reddit users who didn’t hold back their opinions.
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Parents are the ones who are usually there for you no matter what
Image credits: UC Davis College of Engineering (not the actual photo)
The author of the post shared that she became a single mom after her husband died, leaving her with two little kids, a daughter and a son. Soon after, the woman learned that her son was autistic. This made the situation even more severe as the boy wasn’t communicating much and would have physical meltdowns, but the woman shared that therapy helped to control this situation. The mom shared that because of this, she became a primary caregiver to her son and didn’t hide the fact that finding the right help was hard.
Reddit user decided to share the situation she had to face after her daughter no longer wanted to deal with her because she missed her awards ceremony
Image credits: waltzingaway78
The woman revealed that she takes care of her autistic son who requires a lot of attention
Image credits: waltzingaway78
The whole family situation escalated further when OP’s daughter grew up and a week before her graduation, there was an awards ceremony, to which she invited her mom. All was well because the mom was very proud of her daughter and assured her that she would come to see her daughter being awarded. For this occasion, the author of the post hired a trained specialist to stay with her son. However, once the woman was ready to leave, her son had a meltdown and instead of leaving the sitter to handle the situation, the mom stayed with her son, once again missing one of her daughter’s important events.
The mom shared that she also has a daughter who was graduating and was invited to her awards ceremony
Image credits: waltzingaway78
Despite saying that she would be there, the woman missed the ceremony because she had to stay in for her son
Image credits: waltzingaway78
After the ceremony, the daughter called her mom and was very much upset after going through another disappointment, reminding her mom of all the times she skipped her events to be with her brother instead. The woman poured her heart out, revealing how it’s hard to be around her brother and how she finally was “done” with years of disappointment, so after hanging up, she stopped communicating with her mom and brother. OP revealed that her daughter hasn’t sent her tickets to her graduation, didn’t show up over the holidays, and she even heard that her daughter was engaged, but she hasn’t shared news about this either.
After this incident, the daughter told her mom how she felt about being left alone in situations like these and decided to cut contact with her
Image credits: waltzingaway78
The woman shared that it was easier not to have her mom and her brother around
Image credits: waltzingaway78
OP shared that since the incident, she has only spoken with her daughter a few times, and during one of these interactions, she told her mom that it was better for her not to have them in her life as this way she won’t be disappointed. Despite knowing what she did wrong, the author of the post thought that she shouldn’t have lost her daughter over something that was another “emergency”. However, a lot of people online found this to be not quite the truth as the woman herself shared that her daughter was upset not just because of this particular event, but for years of missed milestones, events, awards ceremonies, and other events.
The original poster thought it’s not fair that because of something that was an emergency, she was out of her daughter’s life
Image credits: Aldair Nuñez (not the actual photo)
Having to take care of a kid who has autism is of course challenging, and a lot of times parents spend all their time and effort trying to make their everyday life as easy as possible. However, in cases when a family has more than one kid, there is a high chance that the other sibling might feel neglected or forgotten. According to WebMD, a news site that covers insightful information on health shares that parents aren’t the only ones who have to adjust to the situation of having an autistic son or daughter. But it’s also important to understand how it will affect their other kids. What is crucial in this situation is that a parent should talk about it with their kid, listen to how they feel about it, what is their relationship with their sibling, not forgetting the fact that they also need their parents’ love and support. The best way to do so is by having some one-on-one time with their child to do things that they enjoy and be involved in their life too to avoid the situation where they would resent their parents for not being there for them.
However, a lot of people online didn’t think that the mother was right in this situation, reminding her of how much she missed of her daughter’s life
Many commentators agreed with the daughter’s decision, reminding the mom that she has two kids she had to take care of
Image credits: waltzingaway78
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Why would the daughter send the mother and engagement party, or Wedding invitation? She KNOWS the mother won't turn up. There is ALWAYS going to be an "emergency".
It's so SO hard to give up. You think you can, and then you see a friend's mom so attentive and keep hoping..
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YTA. I'm not clear whether OP was downplaying what happened when her son had an outburst, whether lashing out translate as physical assault of the sitter for her to class what happened as an emergency, or whether the 'emergency' is simply how she refers to the son being upset. Yes, she'd hired a specialist sitter which showed willing to attend, but if OP had reason to anticipate her son would have an outburst when she was leaving, couldn't she have planned for an earlier departure or introduced the sitter on an earlier occasion(s) for a shorter period to ease her son it? What to me defines YTA is the subsequent comment her daughter didn't send her tickets to the graduation, doesn't call and she's only spoken to her 3 times since. A) Her daughter probably preferred to give those tickets to friends than be disappointed by empty seats; b) OP could have gone, waited outside and seen her daughter after the ceremony; c) OP hasn't commented daughter is not taking calls - is OP trying to call?
What exactly does this mother think is going to happen to her son when she's gone?
Probably expected the daughter to come and do dedicate rest of her life handling him.
Load More Replies...
Why would the daughter send the mother and engagement party, or Wedding invitation? She KNOWS the mother won't turn up. There is ALWAYS going to be an "emergency".
It's so SO hard to give up. You think you can, and then you see a friend's mom so attentive and keep hoping..
Load More Replies... YTA. I'm not clear whether OP was downplaying what happened when her son had an outburst, whether lashing out translate as physical assault of the sitter for her to class what happened as an emergency, or whether the 'emergency' is simply how she refers to the son being upset. Yes, she'd hired a specialist sitter which showed willing to attend, but if OP had reason to anticipate her son would have an outburst when she was leaving, couldn't she have planned for an earlier departure or introduced the sitter on an earlier occasion(s) for a shorter period to ease her son it? What to me defines YTA is the subsequent comment her daughter didn't send her tickets to the graduation, doesn't call and she's only spoken to her 3 times since. A) Her daughter probably preferred to give those tickets to friends than be disappointed by empty seats; b) OP could have gone, waited outside and seen her daughter after the ceremony; c) OP hasn't commented daughter is not taking calls - is OP trying to call?
What exactly does this mother think is going to happen to her son when she's gone?
Probably expected the daughter to come and do dedicate rest of her life handling him.
Load More Replies...
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