Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
Lady Beyond Furious MIL Booked Hawaii Trip With Her 3YO, Gets Labelled A “Bad Mother” For Refusing
It’s probably most people’s dream to get along with their in-laws to the best extent possible. Life doesn’t always go according to plan, and sometimes impulsive decisions or a lack of communication can sour such relationships.
This is what happened when a mother-in-law booked a vacation for herself, her husband, and her toddler grandchild without even asking her son or her daughter-in-law about it. When she was confronted, she started saying insulting things, and the kicker is that her son backed her up.
More info: Reddit
RELATED:
Grandparents should consult parents before they make any important decisions regarding their kids
Image credits: prostooleh / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster shared that she often keeps her three-year-old in the care of her husband’s mom, and that the older woman is quite a hands-on person
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The grandma, who often has a habit of crossing boundaries, said that she booked a vacation to Hawaii with her husband and was planning to take her grandchild along
Image credits: jet-po / Freepik (not the actual photo)
She made the vacation plans without consulting her son or daughter-in-law, which left the other woman feeling shocked and confused
Image credits: EdgeAfraid3617
When the poster refused to let her kid be taken, her mother-in-law called her a “bad mother,” and her son had no problem letting the conflict slide
The poster explained that her three-year-old daughter spends a lot of time with her grandma since she and her husband both have to work. They can’t do anything else about daycare and have had to deal with the older woman’s pushiness sometimes. The OP mentioned that her mother-in-law keeps finding different ways to cross their boundaries.
One of the biggest reasons some grandparents are so challenging to deal with is that they might still be adjusting to the change in their roles. As parents, they held a lot of power and could decide what their kids did, but as grandparents, they have to take a step back and let their son or daughter decide how to raise their children.
This loss of power might not be easy to deal with, and it’s clear that the grandma in this story probably feels the same way. That’s why, in a bid to dominate once again, she went ahead and booked a trip to another state with her granddaughter without even consulting the child’s parents.
Dealing with a pushy in-law like this might be exhausting. It’s therefore important to sometimes take a break from them and reflect on what feelings their behavior might be bringing up. You might not always come to a compromise with them, but if you don’t give in to their demands, they eventually will learn to take a step back.
Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
When the woman learned that her mother-in-law had booked a trip to Hawaii and was planning to take the three-year-old along with her, the OP was shocked. She couldn’t believe her husband’s mom would make such a big plan with the young child who hasn’t even stayed away from home overnight once.
She couldn’t let her child be taken like that and stood up to the older woman. Unfortunately, this led to a bitter confrontation in which her husband did not even back her up. He felt that she should not say anything to avoid drama, and so she was left alone, struggling to stand up to her mother-in-law.
In situations where the grandparents refuse to back down and believe that they have the right of way, it’s important for their children to be the voice of reason. In this case, the OP was painted as the villain, but if her partner had stood up for her, his mother would have probably not escalated things as much.
When one partner is left to set boundaries and the other person refuses to get involved, it can undermine their position significantly. Hopefully, the man eventually understands his wife’s point of view and sets better boundaries with his pushy mom. Although judging from his current behavior, that seems like a long way off.
How would you have handled this situation? Do let us know if you have a different perspective on this story.
Folks were enraged on behalf of the woman and felt that she needed to sternly set boundaries with her mother-in-law, while also telling her husband to grow up
Poll Question
Total votes ·
Thanks! Check out the results:
Total votes ·
Newsletter
Subscribe to Access
Exclusive Polls
By entering your email and clicking Subscribe, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Privacy Policy.
Thank you! You've successfully subscribed to newsletters!
What do you think ?
BrownEyedPanda 7 months ago
OP definitely has a problem--a husband who won't set boundaries with his overbearing mother. Is he serious, letting her take his preschooler on vacation out-of-state, without her mother, and who has never slept away from home? That is a recipe for disaster. I wouldn't trust Monster-in-Law to be alone with my child after that. Besides, a three-year-old isn't going to remember much of the trip anyway.
JayWantsACat 7 months ago
if your only reason to allow something is to "avoid the drama" you are a cowardly a*****e. Your laziness is allowing something you know is wrong to happen because it's easier than just putting your foot down and establishing boundaries. JFC, simply to "avoiding the drama" is literally WHY you should not cave on something.
Nikki Sevven 7 months ago
OP should have answered him, "Well, I'd love to avoid the drama, so please tell your mother to stop creating it."
Load More Replies...
Sara Shamsabadi 7 months ago
yeah two children trying to raise a child, a crazy mil on top of all that, what a great set up.
Jonathan Setter 5 months ago (edited)
Anyone taking a child of less than 7 on an overseas trip for the "experience" is an idiot. The child is unlikely to enjoy the trip, or appreciate it, and will be a pain in the butt not only for the person in charge of them but for everyone around them, especially on the plane . There have been mothers on fb taking their BABIES on overseas trips to ENRICH their lives, and all they are doing is ruining expensive plane rides for other people, while literally torturing the baby.
Michelle C 7 months ago
I wonder if the problem is really the trip or the fact that MIL didn't invite mom and dad. I only say this because she included that sentence about tickets not being bought for them. Also she complains about MIL being overbearing and so hands on while also admitting as using her for her main source of childcare. So you kinda set yourself up for that since the child spends a significant amount of time with her. Reminds me of the other story on here where the daughter was mad at mom for taking a vacation and leaving her without a sitter for the child. Could it be a possibility the MIL took that into consideration since she watches the kid while you work? Maybe it's just me, but when my kid was little and my mom wanted to take her on vacation with her I was like have at it. Gave me a little vacation from having to run after a screaming toddler.
Roni Stone 7 months ago
My daughters very much cared where they were at 3, even though they adored their grandmom. But this woman's child has never even slept over anywhere. That is a huge setup for failure. If the grandmother remembered much about babies, she would have remembered *that*.
Load More Replies...
BrownEyedPanda 7 months ago
OP definitely has a problem--a husband who won't set boundaries with his overbearing mother. Is he serious, letting her take his preschooler on vacation out-of-state, without her mother, and who has never slept away from home? That is a recipe for disaster. I wouldn't trust Monster-in-Law to be alone with my child after that. Besides, a three-year-old isn't going to remember much of the trip anyway.
JayWantsACat 7 months ago
if your only reason to allow something is to "avoid the drama" you are a cowardly a*****e. Your laziness is allowing something you know is wrong to happen because it's easier than just putting your foot down and establishing boundaries. JFC, simply to "avoiding the drama" is literally WHY you should not cave on something.
Nikki Sevven 7 months ago
OP should have answered him, "Well, I'd love to avoid the drama, so please tell your mother to stop creating it."
Load More Replies... Sara Shamsabadi 7 months ago
yeah two children trying to raise a child, a crazy mil on top of all that, what a great set up.
Jonathan Setter 5 months ago (edited)
Anyone taking a child of less than 7 on an overseas trip for the "experience" is an idiot. The child is unlikely to enjoy the trip, or appreciate it, and will be a pain in the butt not only for the person in charge of them but for everyone around them, especially on the plane . There have been mothers on fb taking their BABIES on overseas trips to ENRICH their lives, and all they are doing is ruining expensive plane rides for other people, while literally torturing the baby.
Michelle C 7 months ago
I wonder if the problem is really the trip or the fact that MIL didn't invite mom and dad. I only say this because she included that sentence about tickets not being bought for them. Also she complains about MIL being overbearing and so hands on while also admitting as using her for her main source of childcare. So you kinda set yourself up for that since the child spends a significant amount of time with her. Reminds me of the other story on here where the daughter was mad at mom for taking a vacation and leaving her without a sitter for the child. Could it be a possibility the MIL took that into consideration since she watches the kid while you work? Maybe it's just me, but when my kid was little and my mom wanted to take her on vacation with her I was like have at it. Gave me a little vacation from having to run after a screaming toddler.
Roni Stone 7 months ago
My daughters very much cared where they were at 3, even though they adored their grandmom. But this woman's child has never even slept over anywhere. That is a huge setup for failure. If the grandmother remembered much about babies, she would have remembered *that*.
Load More Replies...
Related on Bored Panda
36
12