Couple Put Their 3-Month-Old Daughter Up For Adoption Because She’s “Not A Good Fit”, Face Backlash
The decision to have a baby can be loaded with romance, but it also comes with a fair amount of uncertainty. On the one hand, there is the possibility of joy and new meaning in your life, but on the other, it requires you to sacrifice your freedom and flexibility.
This man and his spouse weren’t ready for it. He made a post on the subreddit ‘Parenting,’ describing how detached his wife was from her role of being a mom, and even though at first it sounded like there was plenty of room for the benefit of the doubt, the subsequent updates the man released on his family revealed a much grimmer reality.
This couple weren’t ready to have a baby
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But they realized it only after the birth of their daughter
Image credits: Sarah Chai (not the actual photo)
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As the story went viral, people started guessing the reason behind the woman’s indifference
New moms go through a lot after delivering their child, but as time goes on, they usually find strength in themselves
Image credits: Sarah Chai (not the actual photo)
The postpartum period begins after the delivery of the baby and ends when the mom’s body has nearly returned to its pre-pregnant state. It often lasts 6 to 8 weeks and involves them moving through many changes, both emotionally and physically.
However, experts highlight that this stage also involves the mom and her partner learning how to care for their newborn as well as how to function as a changed family unit.
Aurélie Athan, a reproductive psychologist at Columbia University, compares it to the awkwardness of adolescence. “It’s a holistic change in multiple domains of your life,” she told NPR. “You’re going to feel it perhaps bodily, psychologically. You’re going to feel it with your peer groups. You’re going to feel it at your job. You’re going to feel it in terms of the big philosophical questions.”
Caring for the baby day in and day out is particularly difficult in that first year, but as parents get the hang of things and become more confident, they start to recognize the person they were and have always been.
Talking to the same publisher, clinical psychologist Pria Alpern suggested that rather than thinking about it as a loss of identity, motherhood should be reframed as an evolution, a stage that empowers you. However, the Redditor’s wife did not do this.
Later, the author of the post released an update
Image credits: Pavel Danilyuk (not the actual photo)
Image credits: workingwifethrowaway
He then provided a few more details in the comments
And made another follow-up post full of unsettling revelations
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Image credits: workingwifethrowaway
He then made the final update
Image credits: Oană Andrei (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Engin Akyurt (not the actual photo)
Image credits: workingwifethrowaway
It’s difficult to justify this couple
Image credits: Pavel Danilyuk (not the actual photo)
For much of the country’s history, placing a child up for adoption was an obligation, not a choice, generally for poor, single women. In the decades after World War II, more than 3 million young pregnant women were “funneled into an often-coercive system they could neither understand nor resist,” Gabrielle Glaser explained in her recent book, American Baby. They lived with strangers as servants or hid in maternity homes until they gave birth, only to be pressured into closed adoptions, after which biological mothers and their babies had no contact.
However, since the mid-1970s—the end of the so-called baby-scoop era—the percentage of never-married women who relinquish their infants has declined from nearly 9 percent to less than 1 percent.
Now, of the nearly 4 million American children who are born each year, only about 18,000 are voluntarily given up for adoption.
Adoption is permanent. It’s a big decision, but there are plenty of ways to get support that will help you. A good place to start is by talking to a social worker at the hospital where you have the baby or to adoption services in your state or territory (listed below).
The decision this couple made is not only a big one, but it’s permanent, and the fact that the main—and, quite possibly, only—reason behind it was inconvenience, leaves little room for empathy.
People were disgusted by the unexpected turn of events
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Not the first parents to realise they weren't fit to parent a child only after it was born, but at least a couple who decides to do what is best for the CHILD. Instead, like so many others, keeping it because "what will the neighbours say" and harming it for life. The baby will grow up in a loving family - hopefully.
Yep, no AH to realise parenting is not for them and finding her a good home. But to think you can then just drop by for the holidays, forever pouring salt into this kids wounds, is unrealistic at best and cruel at worst
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I am so confused by this story. How did they go from 'different parenting styles' to just totally opting out of parenting and choosing adoption? I mean OP says he is 'doting' and interactive and then it just seems like he gives up and agrees to put the baby up for adoption? No judgement either way, I'm just confused about the massive leap they made? OP said wife does not have PND but is it possible both parents are neurodiverse. The language here is just... off.
Just went to reddit to read OP replies... it is.... enlightening. Commenter: Giving the baby up would ultimately be in her best interest but the way you talk about her like a piece of furniture that isn't your style is... unsettling. OP: ...at the risk of sounding callous, not an inaccurate comparison. I love my daughter not unlike I love a favored item. I would be disappointed if that item were to be suddenly gone, just as I am disappointed my daughter is gone, but it is a loss from which I can recover.
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Funny how people are all for children being in families, that care for them but don't you dare realize you are not fit to be a parent and give it to people that can. If you abort you are a killer, if you don't become pregnant you destroy society, if you give birth you better not have made a mistake because if you keep it or not: you will be judged.
Exactly! I think they should be praised to do what‘s right for the kid!
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What gets me is, if this were a pet people would be FLIPPING out at the "rehoming," but an actual child and we're all supposed to be OK with it? I'm glad they gave the baby up, but the way they went about it absolutely make them TAH. The 1st thing they should've done was go to MIL and say, "Would you please take custody?" This sounds more like they said, "We're giving the baby away. Are you interested because if not, we reallly need her gone ASAP."
This! And then to consider having her charged with kidnapping. And wondering why the family is not happy with them. Relatives will take children in when their parents die. In this case, the parents didn't die, they just couldn't be bothered. So the relatives stepped up. But you can't expect them to be happy about it. Very selfish, selfish couple. Not to be praised at all.
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Why the hell did they have the baby in the first place? They knew that they wouldn't be able to care for the kid appropriately, thank god for MIL...
I can understand your reaction. This was a pretty sad post to read. I will say, though, that the thought of having a child and the reality of having a child are often VASTLY different. I can only hope that this situation is properly, legally settled, and this little baby has a safe, loving life.
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Babies never cry for no reason, and picking them up is meeting their needs and developing their trust in you, not reinforcing the crying
Exactly, OP is talking like the child is trying to manipulate them or play mind games or something while a kid is absolutely incapable of doing anything like that at 2 months old.
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Wow, that was quite a read, given my own situation. My niece, when her girls were 2 and 3 respectively, asked us to adopt them, having come to the conclusion she couldn't be the mother they need. Neither father was in the picture, so that part wasn't an issue. We happily accepted and they still have a relationship with their birth mother. I agree with what the commenters told him, that it is much more likely an outsider who reported them. Especially if they legally gave custody to the MIL, whether it was adoption or a legal temporary custody until an adoption goes through, it wouldn't matter and can't lead to kidnapping charges.
A great (though certainly not easy) decision by your niece, and big thanks to you for giving the girls a loving home. If more people did that, we had less emotionally and physically abused children.
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A couple of selfish, narcissistic sociopaths have a baby. I'm glad that the kid didn't suffer at the hands of these indifferent egg and sperm donors and that they gave the baby up but sheesh. They should both submit to sterilization and then vow never to assume the role of parent ever again.
I agree that the birth parents are awful, but so glad they realized it and let her be with someone that loves her. I'm not sure why the transfer of custody wasn't done legally, but it should be ASAP. Hopefully that child has a good life and never reads or hears about any of this.
I hope the childs reads it (at an appropriate age) and understands the rational decision behind, rather than family members or strangers putting in her mind that she was heartlessly abandonned by horrible horrible people.
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This was so terrifying to read, these parents have no heart. "oops we had a baby, not for us, now we don't want baby, easy, just get rid of baby". "but wE CaRe fOr ELizAbETh". Yeah right. You care for someone, you don't act as if they were an object. I seriously don't care what happens to these two, they're terrible
They had a child, they realised they could not be good parents, and instead of keeping the child and f*****g it up, they searched - and found - good parents for her. And that's bad? You go and love the next stranger you see. Go, prove to us how "easy" it is to just so develop love for someone. FFS, people like you are the reason for all the lists on BP of parents who hurt and harmed their child.
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Your wife's a monstrous, almost incomprehensible a*****e, and you're no better. Poor kid.
Uuuuuh, this reads like this guy and his wife treated their child like some kind of object they've purchased and had buyer's remorse "Oh well, she didn't go well with the sofa's color, so we gave her away". Whole thing is cold as heck AND they've expected their whole family just forget about it and move on? I mean, it's better for the kid sure, who'll be living with a loving grandma instead of absent parents.
Reading this, my thought was that the mother might be on the autistic spectrum, and possibly the husband as well. They certainly don't seem to have the expected emotional range or the ability to understand emotional reactions from their extended family. The whole "We want to get rid of our child, and you can have her, or we'll give her to someone else, but hey, see you on Thanksgiving, and let's get this all sorted by Christmas." Yes they're a******s, clearly, but the kid is almost certainly better off with MIL. They should both be evaluated by a psychiatrist, so they can better understand themselves, and hopefully give the MIL and SIL some understanding of why this happened, so they can tell the child "Your mummy has something called ASD, and because she didn't know about it, and we didn't know about it, noone understood that she didn't want to be a mummy until after you were born, not even her."
Autistic people are capable of love. I'm not disagreeing that the parents may be on the spectrum however many Aspie individuals have loving relationships with their children. It is a common misconception that Autism prevents normal emotional attachment. The emotional blindness and attachment issues is a neuropsychological phenomenon called Alexithymia.
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My parents never wanted kids and told us so often. They showed little to no interest in us as we were growing up. I so wish my parents had had the courage this couple showed and given us kids up for adoption. Kudos to this couple for putting their own feelings aside and doing what was best for the child. Not many parents can say they've done that.
It's more the way they did it. They put grandmother in a horrible position. Take baby or we send her to an orphanage! Help, police, my baby was kidnapped! What is the matter with them?
Load More Replies... Two people who are great candidates for tubal ligation and vasectomy. I’m amazed they hadn’t had those procedures already. I mean, if they didn’t want the baby, then why have her in the first place?
You know what.. someone should really suggest those procedures to them. It seems like they don't want kids permanently so.
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Babies have free trial options now? I have seen the pop ups but yet to subscribe. I am glad this child had the other family to care for her and treat her as human.
Two robots making a baby ... sheesh. Hope the kid has a better life now and these two never breed again.
Voluntarily giving the baby over to MIL's custody full time then crying "kidnapping!!!" when she goes no contact tells me everything I need to know about this couple. MIL's reaction when they first told her they were getting rid of the baby is just the cherry on top. This isn't a well-adjusted couple that realized too late that they couldn't handle parenthood, methinks; adopting the kid out is just the straw that broke the camel's back. This behaviour is probably a repeated issue the family has with these two. Especially since it doesn't look like MIL and SIL were the first choices for adoption, like it didn't cross OOP's mind at all in the first post about adopting the kid out and they only seemed to offer custody to MIL so she'd stop yelling at them. Just, hey I know you've been bonding with your granddaughter full time for three months but we changed our minds on the parenthood thing so another family can adopt her, okay fine stop yelling you can have custody if you want.
The "kidnapping" thing was the wrong reaction when they were charged with child abandonment. Since "only MIl and SIL know we gave her up, it must be them who turned me in. Well, this will teach them to do that to me". Still 100% the wrong reaction. What did they think their friends and coworkers thought about their baby just disappearing, no more mention of her?
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Get both yourselves sterilised NOW, so that it never happens again. Not everyone is parent material, but now you know you're not, you need to be proactive.
I wonder if Elizabeth will ever find and read the threads :(
Load More Replies... I work with troubled families and children affected by trauma or abuse. Every time I think, well that's the most ridiculous thing I've heard, another comes along. So these two never thought about how a baby would impact their lives? They never weighed the impact on their careers? Now they realize having a career is more important than their child? No one thought about any of this until the baby was born? I understand how people can realize they made a mistake and had a child. Yes, hopefully, the child is now with people who will love and support her. But that these two cannot understand why their family is angry and hurt tells me they really do not care about anyone but themselves. Their chosen ignorance, self-centeredness and lack of empathy is just amazing.
I'm on the side of the grandmother. It seems like the worry will be the child realising that her bio parents chose to give her to her grandmother because she wasn't convenient, at least that's how the post reads IMO. The kid WILL find out and it will be devastating. It also seems awfully tone deaf for the bio parents not to realise their family is having trouble dealing with their decision. You're giving your kid away and there are no financial, physical or mental reasons for it. They just don't want her. Of course the family is upset! They shouldn't have had children of they weren't prepared to care for them.
God forbid this child would impact their carreer in any way!!! Their carreer is way more important than their family or friends (they never talk about friends, I wonder why....)
Why get pregnant in the first place? poor kiddo, honestly, the world is full of kids that need a family.
and full of families who want kids but would rather go to great lengths to reproduce "biologically" rather than take an "available" child.
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It's fair to say that people shouldn't be shamed for giving up a child/baby for adoption if they just don't see themselves fit for being parents, but THIS situation ... This is an absolute mess! The baby is basically being handed over from one to another, with no legal ties attached, making this whole thing not just quite confusing, but also causes legal trouble.
There is a clear difference between "After our child was born, we realized that we would not be fit parents for her. So we started looking for alternatives." That is NOT the same as "after our child was born, we realized that she inconveniences us. We're looking for a way to get rid of her while protecting our reputation". The baby should 100% be put up for adoption, but people should stop behaving as though the parents are trying to do what's best for the child. They are terrible people who evidently decided to have a kid as an accessory or something, and suddenly discovered that they actually have to spend time taking care of a baby. The sperm donor cares more about their reputation than about the life of the baby, and I cannot even fathom why the incubator wanted to have a child.
Right, so many people think they are doing what's best for the child. But that's just by accident. They are doing what's best for themselves. They don't care about the rest of their family, and about their child least of all.
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These people are monsters who seem to think their baby is a blouse they can return to the store if they don’t like it. The mil and sil are decent people. If the parents are unable to cope, then they needed to get professional help and I bet the mil would have helped with that and stepped in as primary caregiver. But they went nuclear instead and are surprised with how things turned out. The kidnapping charge isn’t going to fly and I doubt the child abandonment one will either but it may be a ploy by mil’s lawyer to gain advantage and get everything resolved legally.
It's been more than 6 years. I want to know what happened? Did MIL & SIL legally adopt Elizabeth? Did OP & Wife end up paying support? (even if it were to a separate fund that Elizabeth could use later in life) Did CPS make any decisions? I am way too invested in this short story.
I had to read it twice. Why does he go from an affectionate parent to giving up the baby for adoption? What does this mean for their future? Are they going to go in birth control?
He was probably playing himself up in that first part to look better when asking Reddit for advice. I still don't understand that mentality in the least. "Let me ask total strangers about my psychological and legal needs, because surely going to a professional is just dumb".
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This is one of the worst things I've ever read and all I can say is I'm happy for your daughter that she has someone in her life that cares about her. If I were the MIL, I'd run away and forget you guys ever existed. I wish the best for your daughter. She didn't deserve this. Adults getting in over their heads and then refusing to accept what happened. I was a single mom at the age of 20 and I raised my kid by myself. You two are in your mid 30s, acting like spoiled brats who can't get your way anymore because of a decision you made. Shame on you!
Honestly, what bothers me isn't necessarily that they realized they weren't a good fit for parenthood, but that they brought a person into the world and almost immediately threw her away. Mostly for things they should have planned for before planning on having a baby, like how much they were going to be working. I've known people who don't even get a dog because they know they work all day and don't think it would be fair. The indifference is messed up too though. And expecting life to go on as if nothing happened. The whole thing is just weird.
This guy talks funny, not funny haha, but I don't know.....something just feels off in the way he talks. He and his wife sound like sociopaths. I genuinely feel their daughter is so much better off not having these robots as parents.
Wanting to see that they elected tubal ligation and vasectomy for themselves.
Pick up a crying baby or pay for their therapy for the rest of your life.
I have no idea what I just read. All I'll say is that if they realized parenting wasn't for them, this was the best outcome. Yeah, they will face some consequences, especially from their families, but for the sake of the child, parents who don't want to be parents, regardless of when they realize it, simply should not be parents.
I really hope this was a troll. All the people commenting about the mother having ppd make me sick. Everyone is so quick to judge women. If this was real, I do know one thing, that kid is way better off without them.
I think demonising the OP is really unfair. They were adult enough to realise they couldn't give this child what they needed and deserved. I think that's really brave. They should have stuck to their guns and had the baby adopted into a loving family though, instead of their weird family members and now possible legal action.
Why did they get a child anyway? They were in their early thirties, so encountered enough situations with people pushing babies in their arms or socially interact with people with newborns. A lot of people then realise that this isn't for them and decide to not reproduce in everybodys interest. So knowing that their work is priority no 1, and knowing how much time over decades it takes to raise a child: What made them think getting a baby would be a good idea? That doesn't mean they hate children. I, too, am totally not a 24/7 child person, and absolutely no baby-person, but I love my position as "reserve aunty", to give my friends with kids some their-time. We play, do gardening, they help with the horses and learn to ride, we do all kinds of handicrafts from glueing things and painting up to small woodwork. It is great to have them around for a couple of days or afternoon, but I would lying if not admitting being very happy the moment I can return to my me-life.
Thankfully OP and his wife decided pretty early on that they weren’t fit to be parents. Better for the baby to grow up never knowing the original parents than to be just another unwanted child being raised by parents who feel “trapped” by having a kid. Is it ideal? No, but this is the most humane way to deal with the scenario. We don’t want abortions to be legal, but people don’t seem to be happy with the alternative of adoption (which means a parent intentionally placing a child up for adoption). We can’t claim to be pro-life if we are really just “anti-abortion”. The child being raised by someone who chose to raise it is better than being raised by two parents who would rather not have a child. That being said, the only downside that I see to MIL and SIL raising the child is the possibility for the child to be told how evil their bio parents were for giving them up. Can’t totally guarantee that wouldn’t happen in a closed adoption, but more plausible in this scenario.
Shocking! Considering YOU doted on your daughter. At least we know what/who comes first in your lives! I don't care what anyone thinks of my comment. Didn't take you long to disown you baby girl!!!! The effect on this girl when she's told this story of being abandoned by you both will have lasting consequences. The MIL is absolutely right to leave and have nothing to do with you! She now has to raise another child when she should be enjoying being a grandma. Again SHOCKING
Lol. Be very honest: The behavior the mother displayed in this story is not more and not less than what Millions of fathers display on a daily basis. In the gender swap, while most people probably won't find the behavior ideal (this depends on the culture though), it would be far from outrageous. The wifes will just do the parenting for both.
I wish more people clued in that they were wrong and parenting wasn't for them and went the adoption route than keep the baby and make that child miserable.
I think it's disgusting. If you want a child but aren't sure you can deal, offer to do some babysitting for young babies. You'll see if it's something you can handle or not. You wouldn't have brought that poor little girl into this world knowing she's going to grow up and be told her real mommy and daddy didn't want her. You know MIL is going to tell her.
If that's the case then MIL isn't fit to raise her either. You can't just "do some babysitting" and think, "oh, I'll be a great parent." Babysitting is NOT the same thing as being a 24/7 parent. There is nothing, NOTHING else in this world that is like our similar to parenting. They were taking care of the baby's basic needs, but that doesn't make them parents. Not everyone is capable of handling the emotional parts of being a parent and if they can't, it doesn't make them bad people. I'd much prefer then realizing that and giving up their child than keeping her and screwing her up like so many people have been. Now it seems she's going to be raised by a bitter old b***h who thinks that her bio parents are bad people because they made a good decision for her.
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This entire post is sickening, to say the least! So they brought a child to the world and ONE WHOLE YEAR after conceiving they realized they couldn't be parents?! What the hell did they discuss for that entire year?! The weather?????
Given the reaction to their decision, maybe they first try and work it out? I mean, look at the comments here, the parents are trashed for realising they are unfit AND GETTING THE CHILD A BETTER HOME.
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I'm honestly proud of OP and his wife for giving the baby away honestly. Too many parents have children they don't want and the result is always messy, we know there is a direct correlation between parental neglect and mental illness and d**g addiction. Giving the child to people who would actually care for it and love it is the best thing for it. These people getting mad at them are probably also the type to say "why didn't you give them up for adoption?" Then the parents say they no longer want to have contact with their 18+ kids
Good thing they gave her up, they don't deserve to be parents! Selfish pieces of s**t!!
I can't believe what I just read. Are these people for real ? If so, then they're disgusting human beings. Things like not breastfeeding because it was inconvenient or she wasn't keen on it. Didn't they realise this is how an infant acquires most of its immunity ? Not to mention bonding with the mother. She didn't have any connection to the baby ? Huh ? That's f****d up. IF they are workaholics, stubborn, want their own way, etc why did they have a baby at all ? It's a disastrous outcome for that poor child. They were so fortunate that the MIL was a normal, loving person, who agreed to take the baby. These dreadful people don't ever deserve to see the child again.
I'm so glad that they put the child up for adoption; can you imagine being raised by people who don't want you? This is the best outcome for that poor innocent baby.
Having children is hard work. It's hard to learn to be a parent and it's also to develop the love that people always say is automatic. It takes time, the baby is getting lots of love and care from her grandmother so that will give mum time to get a handle on being a mother. Panicking over being a good parent is so normal it's amazing not every parenting class mentions it
No one is ever prepared for parenthood. It's an experience you can't possibly imagine until it happens. Based on OP's placing his infant in the same category as his favorite things, and his wife's obvious disinterest in anything beyond the basics, I'd say they made the right decision for the baby...and for themselves. Let's face it, they were going to be bashed for whatever decision they made. At least they had the wherewithal to ensure the child was cared for by someone who loved and wanted her. I also can't blame the families for going NC. Honestly, I don't see an AH here...just two people who didn't realize they didn't really want to be parents. Previous generations would have been stuck...to everyone's detriment.
While I think that it “could” be better for the child, in the long run, my personal belief is that it’s just another form of “birth control” … and lazy people taking the easy way out! Believe me … as a child who had a father who couldn’t care less, he ended up putting me in the hands of an abuser (physical, mental AND sexual)! My step-bad abused the whole family! MAYBE the daughter will end up in a great, loving home … MAYBE not. Nowadays, it’s probably a c**p-shoot! If Dad is really an attentive, involved Dad … keep her yourself, and boot wifey’s sorry *ss to the curb! U won’t be sorry!
I was going to leave a comment but realized that I was so angry that I might offend some people, so I deleted it. I just hope that Elizabeth has a good life despite the circumstances of her beginning.
I was a fairly crappy single mother for the first 3 months, but I would never ever have givenmy son away
Man that read like an old Soap Opera plot! All that is missing is a case of amnesia!
This is ridiculous. If they went through a lawyer and began the process of giving custody to MIL, there is not grounds for abandonment. They need to establish legal custody if they haven't already. This whole situation obviously could have been handled better. I really hope they take extra precautions to avoid having children in the future.
This is just the saddest thing I've read in a long time. Two professionals who give up their daughter because they love their carriers and comfort more. The child would be better off going to unrelated people. Maybe they are messed up because of something their parents did to them. In which case maybe the wife mother isn't the best choice. In about 40 years when they have no family, they will regret their decision and want to contact her. Hope she stays clear of them. Your carrier won't love you back or call you mommy/daddy. What has this society come to???
The portrayal of the situation in BP commentary is ridiculous! This is the most level headed reasoning on the account of the parents I've ever seen. They had a child, realized they're not fit for parenting, decided to give the kid a better chance with people that loved her. What's there to criticize or have concerns about?! They even anticipated family being upset about it. So what exactly does BP and cited redditors see as a problem?... To me it seems some people are just opposed to the mere idea that birth parents might want to give up a child for adoption, and that's where the criticism is coming from 🙄 In my eyes though, they did what was best for the kid and I can only applaud that. Good for them to realize they actually don't want to have a child, and not imposing a miserable life on it for the sake of looking good in the eyes of the family and strangers!
OP hasn't given enough information about his wife's and his own actions and behaviour leading upto and following the birth to really make a judgement, but I lean towards doing everything humanly possible to raise your children properly. This all seemed too frivolous with the lack of information.
They gave up their kid for adoption knowing that they wouldn't be good parents for her. This kid will grow up loved instead in some tension and/or apathetic filled environment. To me, it's largely irrelevant what that the reason for giving up their for adoption is because it's a better situation for the kid. And they were willing to keep the kid in family despite the issues and complication that come with that. Personally, it's super weird to not have figured out how you felt about being parents prior to having one or not having a plan already in place if you knew you weren't ready. And to have such a detached, transactional manner with the whole thing. But I guess if you felt anything towards that child, being aloof and cold and thinking of the kid as more of an object would help you get passed any feelings. I think that's what the father is doing to cope with all of this since he seemed attached to the kid and then suddenly having a complete changed of heart.
Why would people going through such a situation think that reddit is the appropriate place to find answers to their questions? It's insane. Go to a therapist and a lawyer, don't make life-changing decisions based on commentary from strangers.
I'm surprised at people saying adoption should be the last option. Why make the child suffer through months and years of trying to fix this, when she could be placed with a family who are ready/enthusiastic about her presence? I think it was a mistake blowing family to step in, there's already a lot of baggage and animosity, and no one was rlexoecting an addition to the family. Lots of people want healthy babies, get an open adoption and let her adoptive parents decide about contact. It would take the child away from a family who wont be able to help giving her guilt for essentially making them choose between family members. A new start, with people who have been waiting/preparing for a child is likely a situation with a better emotional outcome.
Because abortion -- or even just using birth control -- should have been the FIRST option.
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They are total a******s but because of that, they shouldn’t be parents anyway. It is odd to give up a child just because; something is missing in their hearts. But that is exactly why they shouldn’t keep her—kids need love. A true paradox. Can’t blame the horrified relative’s reactions. No they shouldn’t levy kidnapping charges to the people who have stepped up, because that is untrue. Seems like if a child abandonment case is opened, that also holds no merit, as they are adopting her out. Weirdos for not being able to find some joy amid the difficulty of parenting. Poor kid. But not the first or last people unfit or unwilling to care for a child. Although competent to provide for physical needs, unable to do so for emotional ones, which is its own form of neglect, a valid reason for recognizing they are not up to the job. Damn, if I was the dad I’d be heartbroken, like mil was, but he really standing by his wife. And it’s not like they sold the baby or actually abandoned her. Just giving her up. And missing out.
I think it's a felony in my country to falsely accuse people of kidnapping.
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What BP has become? And people asking strangers on the internet what to do in their own personal lives??? I mean, what is wrong with these people? They behave like toddlers, and even worse than that. And he is asking people on the internet, literal strangers about what he should do with his own child? This is ridiculous. People, take responsibility of your life, your decisions and your children! No one else could or should make decisions for you. Or, maybe the best, see a professional! Do not ask freaking Reddit for advice!
OOP does need to seek a professional. And his wife does too. But asking on reddit in general is a non issue. So is asking strangers. Sometimes people need an impartial, anonymous stranger to weigh in. And it's usually someone they don't have to go on a waitlist for.
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Bored Panda is getting ridiculous, I dont believe a word of this stupid story. This site is becoming trash.
Not the first parents to realise they weren't fit to parent a child only after it was born, but at least a couple who decides to do what is best for the CHILD. Instead, like so many others, keeping it because "what will the neighbours say" and harming it for life. The baby will grow up in a loving family - hopefully.
Yep, no AH to realise parenting is not for them and finding her a good home. But to think you can then just drop by for the holidays, forever pouring salt into this kids wounds, is unrealistic at best and cruel at worst
Load More Replies... I am so confused by this story. How did they go from 'different parenting styles' to just totally opting out of parenting and choosing adoption? I mean OP says he is 'doting' and interactive and then it just seems like he gives up and agrees to put the baby up for adoption? No judgement either way, I'm just confused about the massive leap they made? OP said wife does not have PND but is it possible both parents are neurodiverse. The language here is just... off.
Just went to reddit to read OP replies... it is.... enlightening. Commenter: Giving the baby up would ultimately be in her best interest but the way you talk about her like a piece of furniture that isn't your style is... unsettling. OP: ...at the risk of sounding callous, not an inaccurate comparison. I love my daughter not unlike I love a favored item. I would be disappointed if that item were to be suddenly gone, just as I am disappointed my daughter is gone, but it is a loss from which I can recover.
Load More Replies... Funny how people are all for children being in families, that care for them but don't you dare realize you are not fit to be a parent and give it to people that can. If you abort you are a killer, if you don't become pregnant you destroy society, if you give birth you better not have made a mistake because if you keep it or not: you will be judged.
Exactly! I think they should be praised to do what‘s right for the kid!
Load More Replies... What gets me is, if this were a pet people would be FLIPPING out at the "rehoming," but an actual child and we're all supposed to be OK with it? I'm glad they gave the baby up, but the way they went about it absolutely make them TAH. The 1st thing they should've done was go to MIL and say, "Would you please take custody?" This sounds more like they said, "We're giving the baby away. Are you interested because if not, we reallly need her gone ASAP."
This! And then to consider having her charged with kidnapping. And wondering why the family is not happy with them. Relatives will take children in when their parents die. In this case, the parents didn't die, they just couldn't be bothered. So the relatives stepped up. But you can't expect them to be happy about it. Very selfish, selfish couple. Not to be praised at all.
Load More Replies... Why the hell did they have the baby in the first place? They knew that they wouldn't be able to care for the kid appropriately, thank god for MIL...
I can understand your reaction. This was a pretty sad post to read. I will say, though, that the thought of having a child and the reality of having a child are often VASTLY different. I can only hope that this situation is properly, legally settled, and this little baby has a safe, loving life.
Load More Replies... Babies never cry for no reason, and picking them up is meeting their needs and developing their trust in you, not reinforcing the crying
Exactly, OP is talking like the child is trying to manipulate them or play mind games or something while a kid is absolutely incapable of doing anything like that at 2 months old.
Load More Replies... Wow, that was quite a read, given my own situation. My niece, when her girls were 2 and 3 respectively, asked us to adopt them, having come to the conclusion she couldn't be the mother they need. Neither father was in the picture, so that part wasn't an issue. We happily accepted and they still have a relationship with their birth mother. I agree with what the commenters told him, that it is much more likely an outsider who reported them. Especially if they legally gave custody to the MIL, whether it was adoption or a legal temporary custody until an adoption goes through, it wouldn't matter and can't lead to kidnapping charges.
A great (though certainly not easy) decision by your niece, and big thanks to you for giving the girls a loving home. If more people did that, we had less emotionally and physically abused children.
Load More Replies... A couple of selfish, narcissistic sociopaths have a baby. I'm glad that the kid didn't suffer at the hands of these indifferent egg and sperm donors and that they gave the baby up but sheesh. They should both submit to sterilization and then vow never to assume the role of parent ever again.
I agree that the birth parents are awful, but so glad they realized it and let her be with someone that loves her. I'm not sure why the transfer of custody wasn't done legally, but it should be ASAP. Hopefully that child has a good life and never reads or hears about any of this.
I hope the childs reads it (at an appropriate age) and understands the rational decision behind, rather than family members or strangers putting in her mind that she was heartlessly abandonned by horrible horrible people.
Load More Replies... This was so terrifying to read, these parents have no heart. "oops we had a baby, not for us, now we don't want baby, easy, just get rid of baby". "but wE CaRe fOr ELizAbETh". Yeah right. You care for someone, you don't act as if they were an object. I seriously don't care what happens to these two, they're terrible
They had a child, they realised they could not be good parents, and instead of keeping the child and f*****g it up, they searched - and found - good parents for her. And that's bad? You go and love the next stranger you see. Go, prove to us how "easy" it is to just so develop love for someone. FFS, people like you are the reason for all the lists on BP of parents who hurt and harmed their child.
Load More Replies... Your wife's a monstrous, almost incomprehensible a*****e, and you're no better. Poor kid.
Uuuuuh, this reads like this guy and his wife treated their child like some kind of object they've purchased and had buyer's remorse "Oh well, she didn't go well with the sofa's color, so we gave her away". Whole thing is cold as heck AND they've expected their whole family just forget about it and move on? I mean, it's better for the kid sure, who'll be living with a loving grandma instead of absent parents.
Reading this, my thought was that the mother might be on the autistic spectrum, and possibly the husband as well. They certainly don't seem to have the expected emotional range or the ability to understand emotional reactions from their extended family. The whole "We want to get rid of our child, and you can have her, or we'll give her to someone else, but hey, see you on Thanksgiving, and let's get this all sorted by Christmas." Yes they're a******s, clearly, but the kid is almost certainly better off with MIL. They should both be evaluated by a psychiatrist, so they can better understand themselves, and hopefully give the MIL and SIL some understanding of why this happened, so they can tell the child "Your mummy has something called ASD, and because she didn't know about it, and we didn't know about it, noone understood that she didn't want to be a mummy until after you were born, not even her."
Autistic people are capable of love. I'm not disagreeing that the parents may be on the spectrum however many Aspie individuals have loving relationships with their children. It is a common misconception that Autism prevents normal emotional attachment. The emotional blindness and attachment issues is a neuropsychological phenomenon called Alexithymia.
Load More Replies... My parents never wanted kids and told us so often. They showed little to no interest in us as we were growing up. I so wish my parents had had the courage this couple showed and given us kids up for adoption. Kudos to this couple for putting their own feelings aside and doing what was best for the child. Not many parents can say they've done that.
It's more the way they did it. They put grandmother in a horrible position. Take baby or we send her to an orphanage! Help, police, my baby was kidnapped! What is the matter with them?
Load More Replies... Two people who are great candidates for tubal ligation and vasectomy. I’m amazed they hadn’t had those procedures already. I mean, if they didn’t want the baby, then why have her in the first place?
You know what.. someone should really suggest those procedures to them. It seems like they don't want kids permanently so.
Load More Replies... Babies have free trial options now? I have seen the pop ups but yet to subscribe. I am glad this child had the other family to care for her and treat her as human.
Two robots making a baby ... sheesh. Hope the kid has a better life now and these two never breed again.
Voluntarily giving the baby over to MIL's custody full time then crying "kidnapping!!!" when she goes no contact tells me everything I need to know about this couple. MIL's reaction when they first told her they were getting rid of the baby is just the cherry on top. This isn't a well-adjusted couple that realized too late that they couldn't handle parenthood, methinks; adopting the kid out is just the straw that broke the camel's back. This behaviour is probably a repeated issue the family has with these two. Especially since it doesn't look like MIL and SIL were the first choices for adoption, like it didn't cross OOP's mind at all in the first post about adopting the kid out and they only seemed to offer custody to MIL so she'd stop yelling at them. Just, hey I know you've been bonding with your granddaughter full time for three months but we changed our minds on the parenthood thing so another family can adopt her, okay fine stop yelling you can have custody if you want.
The "kidnapping" thing was the wrong reaction when they were charged with child abandonment. Since "only MIl and SIL know we gave her up, it must be them who turned me in. Well, this will teach them to do that to me". Still 100% the wrong reaction. What did they think their friends and coworkers thought about their baby just disappearing, no more mention of her?
Load More Replies... Get both yourselves sterilised NOW, so that it never happens again. Not everyone is parent material, but now you know you're not, you need to be proactive.
I wonder if Elizabeth will ever find and read the threads :(
Load More Replies... I work with troubled families and children affected by trauma or abuse. Every time I think, well that's the most ridiculous thing I've heard, another comes along. So these two never thought about how a baby would impact their lives? They never weighed the impact on their careers? Now they realize having a career is more important than their child? No one thought about any of this until the baby was born? I understand how people can realize they made a mistake and had a child. Yes, hopefully, the child is now with people who will love and support her. But that these two cannot understand why their family is angry and hurt tells me they really do not care about anyone but themselves. Their chosen ignorance, self-centeredness and lack of empathy is just amazing.
I'm on the side of the grandmother. It seems like the worry will be the child realising that her bio parents chose to give her to her grandmother because she wasn't convenient, at least that's how the post reads IMO. The kid WILL find out and it will be devastating. It also seems awfully tone deaf for the bio parents not to realise their family is having trouble dealing with their decision. You're giving your kid away and there are no financial, physical or mental reasons for it. They just don't want her. Of course the family is upset! They shouldn't have had children of they weren't prepared to care for them.
God forbid this child would impact their carreer in any way!!! Their carreer is way more important than their family or friends (they never talk about friends, I wonder why....)
Why get pregnant in the first place? poor kiddo, honestly, the world is full of kids that need a family.
and full of families who want kids but would rather go to great lengths to reproduce "biologically" rather than take an "available" child.
Load More Replies... It's fair to say that people shouldn't be shamed for giving up a child/baby for adoption if they just don't see themselves fit for being parents, but THIS situation ... This is an absolute mess! The baby is basically being handed over from one to another, with no legal ties attached, making this whole thing not just quite confusing, but also causes legal trouble.
There is a clear difference between "After our child was born, we realized that we would not be fit parents for her. So we started looking for alternatives." That is NOT the same as "after our child was born, we realized that she inconveniences us. We're looking for a way to get rid of her while protecting our reputation". The baby should 100% be put up for adoption, but people should stop behaving as though the parents are trying to do what's best for the child. They are terrible people who evidently decided to have a kid as an accessory or something, and suddenly discovered that they actually have to spend time taking care of a baby. The sperm donor cares more about their reputation than about the life of the baby, and I cannot even fathom why the incubator wanted to have a child.
Right, so many people think they are doing what's best for the child. But that's just by accident. They are doing what's best for themselves. They don't care about the rest of their family, and about their child least of all.
Load More Replies... These people are monsters who seem to think their baby is a blouse they can return to the store if they don’t like it. The mil and sil are decent people. If the parents are unable to cope, then they needed to get professional help and I bet the mil would have helped with that and stepped in as primary caregiver. But they went nuclear instead and are surprised with how things turned out. The kidnapping charge isn’t going to fly and I doubt the child abandonment one will either but it may be a ploy by mil’s lawyer to gain advantage and get everything resolved legally.
It's been more than 6 years. I want to know what happened? Did MIL & SIL legally adopt Elizabeth? Did OP & Wife end up paying support? (even if it were to a separate fund that Elizabeth could use later in life) Did CPS make any decisions? I am way too invested in this short story.
I had to read it twice. Why does he go from an affectionate parent to giving up the baby for adoption? What does this mean for their future? Are they going to go in birth control?
He was probably playing himself up in that first part to look better when asking Reddit for advice. I still don't understand that mentality in the least. "Let me ask total strangers about my psychological and legal needs, because surely going to a professional is just dumb".
Load More Replies... This is one of the worst things I've ever read and all I can say is I'm happy for your daughter that she has someone in her life that cares about her. If I were the MIL, I'd run away and forget you guys ever existed. I wish the best for your daughter. She didn't deserve this. Adults getting in over their heads and then refusing to accept what happened. I was a single mom at the age of 20 and I raised my kid by myself. You two are in your mid 30s, acting like spoiled brats who can't get your way anymore because of a decision you made. Shame on you!
Honestly, what bothers me isn't necessarily that they realized they weren't a good fit for parenthood, but that they brought a person into the world and almost immediately threw her away. Mostly for things they should have planned for before planning on having a baby, like how much they were going to be working. I've known people who don't even get a dog because they know they work all day and don't think it would be fair. The indifference is messed up too though. And expecting life to go on as if nothing happened. The whole thing is just weird.
This guy talks funny, not funny haha, but I don't know.....something just feels off in the way he talks. He and his wife sound like sociopaths. I genuinely feel their daughter is so much better off not having these robots as parents.
Wanting to see that they elected tubal ligation and vasectomy for themselves.
Pick up a crying baby or pay for their therapy for the rest of your life.
I have no idea what I just read. All I'll say is that if they realized parenting wasn't for them, this was the best outcome. Yeah, they will face some consequences, especially from their families, but for the sake of the child, parents who don't want to be parents, regardless of when they realize it, simply should not be parents.
I really hope this was a troll. All the people commenting about the mother having ppd make me sick. Everyone is so quick to judge women. If this was real, I do know one thing, that kid is way better off without them.
I think demonising the OP is really unfair. They were adult enough to realise they couldn't give this child what they needed and deserved. I think that's really brave. They should have stuck to their guns and had the baby adopted into a loving family though, instead of their weird family members and now possible legal action.
Why did they get a child anyway? They were in their early thirties, so encountered enough situations with people pushing babies in their arms or socially interact with people with newborns. A lot of people then realise that this isn't for them and decide to not reproduce in everybodys interest. So knowing that their work is priority no 1, and knowing how much time over decades it takes to raise a child: What made them think getting a baby would be a good idea? That doesn't mean they hate children. I, too, am totally not a 24/7 child person, and absolutely no baby-person, but I love my position as "reserve aunty", to give my friends with kids some their-time. We play, do gardening, they help with the horses and learn to ride, we do all kinds of handicrafts from glueing things and painting up to small woodwork. It is great to have them around for a couple of days or afternoon, but I would lying if not admitting being very happy the moment I can return to my me-life.
Thankfully OP and his wife decided pretty early on that they weren’t fit to be parents. Better for the baby to grow up never knowing the original parents than to be just another unwanted child being raised by parents who feel “trapped” by having a kid. Is it ideal? No, but this is the most humane way to deal with the scenario. We don’t want abortions to be legal, but people don’t seem to be happy with the alternative of adoption (which means a parent intentionally placing a child up for adoption). We can’t claim to be pro-life if we are really just “anti-abortion”. The child being raised by someone who chose to raise it is better than being raised by two parents who would rather not have a child. That being said, the only downside that I see to MIL and SIL raising the child is the possibility for the child to be told how evil their bio parents were for giving them up. Can’t totally guarantee that wouldn’t happen in a closed adoption, but more plausible in this scenario.
Shocking! Considering YOU doted on your daughter. At least we know what/who comes first in your lives! I don't care what anyone thinks of my comment. Didn't take you long to disown you baby girl!!!! The effect on this girl when she's told this story of being abandoned by you both will have lasting consequences. The MIL is absolutely right to leave and have nothing to do with you! She now has to raise another child when she should be enjoying being a grandma. Again SHOCKING
Lol. Be very honest: The behavior the mother displayed in this story is not more and not less than what Millions of fathers display on a daily basis. In the gender swap, while most people probably won't find the behavior ideal (this depends on the culture though), it would be far from outrageous. The wifes will just do the parenting for both.
I wish more people clued in that they were wrong and parenting wasn't for them and went the adoption route than keep the baby and make that child miserable.
I think it's disgusting. If you want a child but aren't sure you can deal, offer to do some babysitting for young babies. You'll see if it's something you can handle or not. You wouldn't have brought that poor little girl into this world knowing she's going to grow up and be told her real mommy and daddy didn't want her. You know MIL is going to tell her.
If that's the case then MIL isn't fit to raise her either. You can't just "do some babysitting" and think, "oh, I'll be a great parent." Babysitting is NOT the same thing as being a 24/7 parent. There is nothing, NOTHING else in this world that is like our similar to parenting. They were taking care of the baby's basic needs, but that doesn't make them parents. Not everyone is capable of handling the emotional parts of being a parent and if they can't, it doesn't make them bad people. I'd much prefer then realizing that and giving up their child than keeping her and screwing her up like so many people have been. Now it seems she's going to be raised by a bitter old b***h who thinks that her bio parents are bad people because they made a good decision for her.
Load More Replies... This entire post is sickening, to say the least! So they brought a child to the world and ONE WHOLE YEAR after conceiving they realized they couldn't be parents?! What the hell did they discuss for that entire year?! The weather?????
Given the reaction to their decision, maybe they first try and work it out? I mean, look at the comments here, the parents are trashed for realising they are unfit AND GETTING THE CHILD A BETTER HOME.
Load More Replies... I'm honestly proud of OP and his wife for giving the baby away honestly. Too many parents have children they don't want and the result is always messy, we know there is a direct correlation between parental neglect and mental illness and d**g addiction. Giving the child to people who would actually care for it and love it is the best thing for it. These people getting mad at them are probably also the type to say "why didn't you give them up for adoption?" Then the parents say they no longer want to have contact with their 18+ kids
Good thing they gave her up, they don't deserve to be parents! Selfish pieces of s**t!!
I can't believe what I just read. Are these people for real ? If so, then they're disgusting human beings. Things like not breastfeeding because it was inconvenient or she wasn't keen on it. Didn't they realise this is how an infant acquires most of its immunity ? Not to mention bonding with the mother. She didn't have any connection to the baby ? Huh ? That's f****d up. IF they are workaholics, stubborn, want their own way, etc why did they have a baby at all ? It's a disastrous outcome for that poor child. They were so fortunate that the MIL was a normal, loving person, who agreed to take the baby. These dreadful people don't ever deserve to see the child again.
I'm so glad that they put the child up for adoption; can you imagine being raised by people who don't want you? This is the best outcome for that poor innocent baby.
Having children is hard work. It's hard to learn to be a parent and it's also to develop the love that people always say is automatic. It takes time, the baby is getting lots of love and care from her grandmother so that will give mum time to get a handle on being a mother. Panicking over being a good parent is so normal it's amazing not every parenting class mentions it
No one is ever prepared for parenthood. It's an experience you can't possibly imagine until it happens. Based on OP's placing his infant in the same category as his favorite things, and his wife's obvious disinterest in anything beyond the basics, I'd say they made the right decision for the baby...and for themselves. Let's face it, they were going to be bashed for whatever decision they made. At least they had the wherewithal to ensure the child was cared for by someone who loved and wanted her. I also can't blame the families for going NC. Honestly, I don't see an AH here...just two people who didn't realize they didn't really want to be parents. Previous generations would have been stuck...to everyone's detriment.
While I think that it “could” be better for the child, in the long run, my personal belief is that it’s just another form of “birth control” … and lazy people taking the easy way out! Believe me … as a child who had a father who couldn’t care less, he ended up putting me in the hands of an abuser (physical, mental AND sexual)! My step-bad abused the whole family! MAYBE the daughter will end up in a great, loving home … MAYBE not. Nowadays, it’s probably a c**p-shoot! If Dad is really an attentive, involved Dad … keep her yourself, and boot wifey’s sorry *ss to the curb! U won’t be sorry!
I was going to leave a comment but realized that I was so angry that I might offend some people, so I deleted it. I just hope that Elizabeth has a good life despite the circumstances of her beginning.
I was a fairly crappy single mother for the first 3 months, but I would never ever have givenmy son away
Man that read like an old Soap Opera plot! All that is missing is a case of amnesia!
This is ridiculous. If they went through a lawyer and began the process of giving custody to MIL, there is not grounds for abandonment. They need to establish legal custody if they haven't already. This whole situation obviously could have been handled better. I really hope they take extra precautions to avoid having children in the future.
This is just the saddest thing I've read in a long time. Two professionals who give up their daughter because they love their carriers and comfort more. The child would be better off going to unrelated people. Maybe they are messed up because of something their parents did to them. In which case maybe the wife mother isn't the best choice. In about 40 years when they have no family, they will regret their decision and want to contact her. Hope she stays clear of them. Your carrier won't love you back or call you mommy/daddy. What has this society come to???
The portrayal of the situation in BP commentary is ridiculous! This is the most level headed reasoning on the account of the parents I've ever seen. They had a child, realized they're not fit for parenting, decided to give the kid a better chance with people that loved her. What's there to criticize or have concerns about?! They even anticipated family being upset about it. So what exactly does BP and cited redditors see as a problem?... To me it seems some people are just opposed to the mere idea that birth parents might want to give up a child for adoption, and that's where the criticism is coming from 🙄 In my eyes though, they did what was best for the kid and I can only applaud that. Good for them to realize they actually don't want to have a child, and not imposing a miserable life on it for the sake of looking good in the eyes of the family and strangers!
OP hasn't given enough information about his wife's and his own actions and behaviour leading upto and following the birth to really make a judgement, but I lean towards doing everything humanly possible to raise your children properly. This all seemed too frivolous with the lack of information.
They gave up their kid for adoption knowing that they wouldn't be good parents for her. This kid will grow up loved instead in some tension and/or apathetic filled environment. To me, it's largely irrelevant what that the reason for giving up their for adoption is because it's a better situation for the kid. And they were willing to keep the kid in family despite the issues and complication that come with that. Personally, it's super weird to not have figured out how you felt about being parents prior to having one or not having a plan already in place if you knew you weren't ready. And to have such a detached, transactional manner with the whole thing. But I guess if you felt anything towards that child, being aloof and cold and thinking of the kid as more of an object would help you get passed any feelings. I think that's what the father is doing to cope with all of this since he seemed attached to the kid and then suddenly having a complete changed of heart.
Why would people going through such a situation think that reddit is the appropriate place to find answers to their questions? It's insane. Go to a therapist and a lawyer, don't make life-changing decisions based on commentary from strangers.
I'm surprised at people saying adoption should be the last option. Why make the child suffer through months and years of trying to fix this, when she could be placed with a family who are ready/enthusiastic about her presence? I think it was a mistake blowing family to step in, there's already a lot of baggage and animosity, and no one was rlexoecting an addition to the family. Lots of people want healthy babies, get an open adoption and let her adoptive parents decide about contact. It would take the child away from a family who wont be able to help giving her guilt for essentially making them choose between family members. A new start, with people who have been waiting/preparing for a child is likely a situation with a better emotional outcome.
Because abortion -- or even just using birth control -- should have been the FIRST option.
Load More Replies... They are total a******s but because of that, they shouldn’t be parents anyway. It is odd to give up a child just because; something is missing in their hearts. But that is exactly why they shouldn’t keep her—kids need love. A true paradox. Can’t blame the horrified relative’s reactions. No they shouldn’t levy kidnapping charges to the people who have stepped up, because that is untrue. Seems like if a child abandonment case is opened, that also holds no merit, as they are adopting her out. Weirdos for not being able to find some joy amid the difficulty of parenting. Poor kid. But not the first or last people unfit or unwilling to care for a child. Although competent to provide for physical needs, unable to do so for emotional ones, which is its own form of neglect, a valid reason for recognizing they are not up to the job. Damn, if I was the dad I’d be heartbroken, like mil was, but he really standing by his wife. And it’s not like they sold the baby or actually abandoned her. Just giving her up. And missing out.
I think it's a felony in my country to falsely accuse people of kidnapping.
Load More Replies... What BP has become? And people asking strangers on the internet what to do in their own personal lives??? I mean, what is wrong with these people? They behave like toddlers, and even worse than that. And he is asking people on the internet, literal strangers about what he should do with his own child? This is ridiculous. People, take responsibility of your life, your decisions and your children! No one else could or should make decisions for you. Or, maybe the best, see a professional! Do not ask freaking Reddit for advice!
OOP does need to seek a professional. And his wife does too. But asking on reddit in general is a non issue. So is asking strangers. Sometimes people need an impartial, anonymous stranger to weigh in. And it's usually someone they don't have to go on a waitlist for.
Load More Replies... Bored Panda is getting ridiculous, I dont believe a word of this stupid story. This site is becoming trash.
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